


MAYEM

by Beabaseball (beabaseball), rattlemeoldbones



Series: Asexual Relationfics [5]
Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Asexual Character, Gen, Gen Work, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Mirror Universe, Multiple Universes Colliding, Other, Queerplatonic Relationships, Roleplay Logs
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-10-28
Updated: 2018-02-22
Packaged: 2019-01-25 08:47:43
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 19
Words: 110,658
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12527520
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/beabaseball/pseuds/Beabaseball, https://archiveofourown.org/users/rattlemeoldbones/pseuds/rattlemeoldbones
Summary: A crossover between the AUs ofA Year Every MinuteandMicrowave Grapes, written by the authors in RP format over the last two years--creating a whole new adventure of Gasters who find their better halves in... themselves.Or, more accurately, the story of one Gaster who ruined another Gaster's room, started trading rude nicknames, and then helping raise each other's kids.Explores multiple potential universe setups and--get this--two bitter assholes being blindsided by the power of friendship.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [A Year Every Minute](https://archiveofourown.org/works/5788375) by [rattlemeoldbones](https://archiveofourown.org/users/rattlemeoldbones/pseuds/rattlemeoldbones). 



> Bold Text is Skull, Unbold is baseball.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woo hoo! This is gonna get some dark tags goin. 
> 
> Can stand on its own. No real knowledge of the serieses is needed. As mentioned in the summary, the first parts of this work are _two years old_ , and therefore may be very different and less refined from our current writing. Give it some time; we figured it out. 
> 
> Bold Text is Skull, Unbold is baseball.

**This wasn’t the first time the family of three had used the machine, but it was certainly the first time something would go wrong. They piled into it just like they always did, Gaster taking over the controls just as usual. Everything felt and seemed normal, like jumping through time and space was just some family activity they all partook in these days. It was a strange thing to think about, but none of them really ever gave it much thought.**

**They all sat and waited, as they did every time before, watching the readings slide up along the screen embedded just above the control panel. Sans and Papyrus always knew when their father caught sight of what he was looking for, the doctor abruptly sitting back and hooking himself in before punching a few coordinates in and then going through a series of buttons and levers that even Sans had difficulty following.**

**Both of them knew how to work the basics, just in case of an emergency, but most of the time it was all left up to Gaster just for safety’s sake. None of them wanted a repeat of what happened the first time.**

**After a few moments the machine whirred to life and jumped out of one time and towards the next. They hadn’t even managed to get a little smalltalk in before a tiny light began to flash on the dashboard and the entire thing jerked abruptly to one side. They all jerked in their seats, thankfully strapped down for just such an occasion.**

**“Uh… that’s not good.” Gaster mumbled mostly to himself while leaning over and staring at the screen. After a minute of staring at the information sliding along in front of him he looked back at Sans and Papyrus, who were looking rather panicked. “I think we might have-”**

**Before he could finish his sentence the machine jumped into a timeline they had originally had no plans on visiting, crashing loudly into something before sliding to a stop.**

**–**

Gaster was ready to go home.

The day had been far, far too long. Between introducing CS-1 to his crutches and the basics of standing upright, the power outage, and CS-1’s subsequent fall, he was more tired than usual, which was saying something. Still, he wanted to be able to be awake for at least a little while once he made it home, so he’d stayed in the lab just a bit longer than normal, picking up a new can of tea and rummaging in one of the older labs where he used to work, searching for a new insulator he’d discarded some months before being pushed onto PERSEVERANCE and had thought up a new potential use for while on his break.

That lab in particular was a bit farther back in the complex. Very few places around it were occupied, except by other scientists who, like Gaster, prefered their privacy when working. Most of them were gone, now, or if they were still around, he hadn’t seen them.

So when a machine flew out of the wall and crashed through his old work table and computer deck, his first thought was _who the did I piss off to deserve this?_

The contraption wrecked the room–shrapnel flying, bits of papers, metal and wood–he tried hard to not think of earthquakes, and threw up his magic, forming a thin purple shield of telekinesis which caught any tossed aside anything which flew too close.

When the dust from the wreckage began to clear, he stayed still, keeping close to the wall, and waited to see what would happen next.

–

**The three inside took a moment to get their bearings.**

**Gaster had been flung with so much force he had sort of slipped through his harness and against the far wall. Sometimes being made of ‘the void’ had its setbacks. As he pulled what was left of his arm from the wall and started to reform it, he looked around to Sans and Papyrus dangling from their seatbelts on the wall across from him.**

**“You two alright?”**

**“uh… i think so.” Sans said, then looked at Papyrus, who was clutching the straps of his belt with wide eye sockets. His older brother waved a hand in front of them before he finally blinked.**

**“THAT WAS NEW.”**

**“You’re not kidding.” Gaster grumbled as he pulled himself to his feet, one of his legs having trouble solidifying enough to stand on.**

**Papyrus unhooked himself and stood up before reaching up to help Sans, setting him on his feet beside him. “SO WHAT HAPPENED?”**

**“Well I don’t want to say much before I find out for myself but we might have found another me. Or something equally rare.”**

**“another you? alive?”**

**“Maybe.” The doctor said, giving his leg one last kick to get it stable before turning to the door of the machine. He turned the handle but it didn’t budge. “Well shit. Pap?”**

**He had barely glanced back at Papyrus before the taller skeleton stepped forward, grabbing the handle and roughly pushing downward. After a few strong pushes and pulls the door flew open, nearly falling off one set of its hinges.**

**–**

Gaster jumped back as the machine gave a rattle and a panel revealed to be a door flew open.

But that was nothing to what was inside.

A small trio. All unique in form. One tall, one short, one with–with scars on his face and hands, much like Gaster’s own, but somehow smoother. As though worn soft from time. But, but the thing that clenched his throat up, made him twist his hand in an instinctive gesture of surprise, was they were all–

“…skeletons?”

–

**The three of them stood looking out, Papyrus and Sans looking a mix of terrified and shocked at the sight of what was apparently another version of their father. Gaster, on the other hand, was grinning broadly.**

**“Hey I was right!”**

**“THIS IS… VERY NEW.” Papyrus narrowed his eye sockets before suddenly putting on his best smile and waving at his… father? “HELLO! YES, WE’RE ALSO SKELETONS! WELL… I GUESS TWO OF US ARE.” He put his hand to his chin, as though he suddenly wasn’t sure** **what** **his father was anymore. Technically anyway.**

**–**

Most days, Gaster could handle the weird things the lab threw at him.

Not today.

What was he even supposed to say to that? He was hardly even going to question the ‘I guess’ about being skeletons, because two was more than he’d ever even really expected at all–

Lost for words and still dumbstruck, he just… did what he usually did. Lifted one shaky hand and waved back, and tried to put on a not-too-fake-looking smile. He was still a bit too shocked to actually move his face much and still gaping a little at the new arrivals, but… he at least managed the wordless wave.

–

**Papyrus stood there for a moment, his own expression falling. He turned and put a hand to his mouth, as though it would at all ever make his voice less than a yell. “I THINK WE FRIGHTEN HIM.”**

**“Pap, we just crashed through his wall.” Gaster gestured to the mess behind them. “And he’s looking at a clone of himself. Kinda.”**

**He took a step out of the machine and kicked a piece of rubble away from his feet before turning around and inspecting the damage. Papyrus and Sans climbed out after him, the shorter of the two shoving his hands into the pockets of the hoodie he wore underneath his lab coat.**

**Papyrus glanced down at him before giving a nudge, the two exchanging a few glances as though to say ‘you do it’ and ‘no you do it’ before the hand gestures started, the two silently arguing with one another before Papyrus finally decided that was getting nowhere and used words instead.**

**“IT’S YOUR TURN, SANS, AND YOU KNOW IT.”**

**The shorter skeleton let out a noise somewhere between a sigh and a groan before turning to look at his father. “dad, you’re doing this one.”**

**Gaster turned around quickly, his hands beginning to gesture nervously. “What? Why?”**

**“because it’s** **you.”**

**–**

Gaster watched their exchange silently, still trying to… accept whatever it was that he was seeing in front of him. It was strange to watch their interactions, clearly they were close, but then when the shorter one–Sans?–spoke was when his eyes were drawn to something much more interesting.

The other ‘him’–and he had some questions about that–began to gesture. It wasn’t exactly the same, the sound element wasn’t quite there, but the gestures themselves looked familiar, and without hesitation, Gaster asked, _Can you understand me?_

–

**Gaster was in the middle of a groan when the gestures caught his eye. It took him a moment of thought, the gestures were slightly different but still pretty recognizable. After that he signalled back,** _**‘Yes?’**_

**–**

His eyes lit up. His face said polite surprise, but his hands said, _holy fucking shit what the fuck!!!!_ and pure joy.

–

**At that Gaster couldn’t help but laugh and turn to his sons. “Yep, definitely me.”**

**After a moment he turned more serious and thought of what to say. “Uhh…” He began, before falling into gestures.** **_‘Sorry about the wall. Hope we didn’t mess up anything important. Didn’t mean to come here.’_  
**

**–**

Gaster shook his head, infinitely more comfortable communicating with his hands for what felt like the first time in forever. Even if this was absolutely the last situation he’d expected when this day began. _Nothing important. Just an old lab. We might want to leave soon unless we’re betting no one is going to come investigate. I’m not really supposed to be destroying things anymore. Didn’t mean to come here?_

…maybe he was a little too excited about being able to talk with his hands again. He forced himself to stop talking a moment later.

–

**The shorter of the skeletons squinted a little. “‘ _anymore’?_ ” He repeated, apparently able to read what was being said just enough. The white dots in his sockets looked up at Gaster and his smile grew. “wow, he really is you.”**

**The doctor rolled his eyes and ignored Sans for the most part before signing back.** _**‘Probably a good idea. I need to be sure my machine remains… somewhere, though. Maybe not here, but I can’t have anyone looking into it. I’ll explain the rest once we get this somewhere out of sight.’**_

**Gaster paused and looked back at the machine, grimacing. It was a pretty big thing to teleport away with him, but… well, desperate times.**

**He turned back to his other self,** _**‘Where is the closest place where I can hide this?’**_

**–**

Gaster paid much more attention to the shortest skeleton than his double did, or so it appeared.

 _Can you all understand??_ he asked, glancing between all three, surprised, before focusing back on his other. _That is one of the most suspicious things I have ever heard._

But they were also apparently…… each other, so. Okay. Maybe being suspicious was just something he should let slide. There’s nowhere that others won’t have access to in the lab. I can cover it up here, though. No one ever really pokes around much back here.

–

**Both Sans and Papyrus nodded, “YES, DAD TAUGHT US HOW TO READ HIS SIGNALS YEARS AGO! BUT WE’RE NOT VERY GOOD AT USING THEM OURSELVES.”**

**Gaster glanced at ‘himself’ and then back at his machine before eventually sighing.** **‘ _Fair enough. I trust myself not to be an asshole to… myself._ ’**

 **He gave another cursory glance back at his machine and looked to be thinking about something before turning to the other Gaster.** **‘ _It’s a time machine. We’re fucked if someone takes it accidently or starts poking around in it, so you see my concern?’_**

**–**

_If you don’t want me to be an asshole to you, you’re always better off not actually being me_ , he said, assuming someone who was supposedly himself would understand that sort of humor. But he frowned a bit at his double’s next words.

 _Bullshit_ , he said at first, but shook his head, and stepped forward anyway, saying, _I’ll do what I can. Any dangerous exposed parts I should be aware of before I do anything?_

–

 **Gaster chuckled a little, but that soon stopped as his double expressed his disbelief. “What-” He began, realizing his mistake before going back to signals.** **_‘Oh come on, like you couldn’t fucking build a time machine._ ’**

**He hovered for a moment before holding up a finger to say ‘one moment’ and climbed back inside. “I’m taking out some smaller important shit so it can’t work if someone stumbles upon it.”**

**Being unable to signal while his hands were busy he would just hope that would be okay, for this one time anyway.**

**While Gaster busied himself inside, Papyrus finally turned to the other ‘dad’ and decided the tension was gone enough to start asking questions. “IS THERE ANOTHER PAPYRUS IN THIS WORLD?” He said, pointing to himself.**

**–**

Gaster bit back a remark at the time machine remark, deciding now was not the time or place, and immediately wondering if that counted as a pun. He had a more important question. Seeing as his double was out of sight and unable to sign, he spoke aloud instead, his voice cracking and sounding vaguely painful, though it was not. “Do you prefer to speak aloud?”

The tall skeleton’s question came at almost the same time, too quick for either of them to have noticed or stopped, so Gaster quickly changed his focus and without even having to think through the response, said, “No.”

–

**“OH. WOWIE! THAT’S A FIRST. SO MANY FIRSTS TODAY!” Papyrus said, apparently unphased that one of himself didn’t exist in this world when they did in so many others. It was almost like everything was backwards!**

**“Either are fine.” Gaster said from inside the machine, the sounds of one of the panels being ripped off echoing from within. “I use both equally well, but the boys can only understand rather than actually use it.”**

**After a moment he stepped out holding a tiny chip of some kind before… pushing it into his chest and letting his body take it inside like he was made of slime.**

**“Okay, we’re good.”**

**–**

Haha.

Gaster was going to have nightmares about shoving metal into his chest for months, he could already tell.

Bringing one hand up to rub away the sympathy pain over his chest, he said, “Aha. Okay,” and turned away quickly to head towards the back of the lab, where a large sheet of canvas usually reserved for large messes was stowed.

That was when the lights cut out.

The whole lab plunged into darkness. Gaster knocked his knee against a piece of the shrapnel leaning against the cabinets and swore.

“Twice! Twice in one day! What the fuck are they doing?!” With another frustrated sound, he waved his arm and summoned a quartet of Blasters, lighting the room with a dim but constant violet glow.

He retrieved the canvas easily after that and turned back to the new arrivals, edging around them to start levitating the canvas over the machine.

–

**Papyrus let out a girlish scream as soon as everything went dark.**

**“jeeze, pap.” Sans couldn’t stop himself from laughing.**

**“SHUT UP! IT STARTLED ME.”**

**“Is that the core?” Gaster asked, wondering if that was still the same. “I remember this kind of shit happening all the-” His train of thought abruptly stopped at the sight of the blasters.**

**“Woah, WOAH!” The doctor waved one hand in the air, using the other to grab onto Sans and Papyrus to yank them down. After they didn’t shoot anything he paused.**

**“Wait… what?”**

**–**

Gaster was about to ask what ‘the core’ was when his double suddenly grabbed the other two skeletons and hit the deck. He spun around, looking for something behind him that had startled the others, but when he came face to face with nothing but the rest of the empty lab, he… was not really sure what to make of that.

It was a bit too dark to sign effectively, so he kept speaking aloud as the blasters floated around his head, totally at peace.. “….are you okay?”

–

**Gaster stared at the blasters, Sans looking equally startled. Slowly he stood upright, arms dropping to his sides.**

**“Okay, note to self; blasters are not the same here as they are back home.”**

**“jesus.” Sans wheezed, clutching at his chest waiting for the panic to die down.**

**“HIS SEEM MUCH MORE CONVENIENT THAN OURS.” Papyrus commented, the calmest out of the three.**

**–**

“What…” Gaster said, looking between the three of them, “…what are they to you?”

He was so used to having his Blasters around. They were almost comforting. He couldn’t imagine having such a violent response to seeing them. It might have shown on his face how disquieted their reactions had left him. Still, while waiting for their response, he lit his eyes again and lifted the canvas over the wrecked machine, hiding it rather completely from sight.

–

**“Guns. Canons. Huge lasers, one of the three. Take your pick.” Gaster shrugged, apparently unbothered by the telekinesis. “They can’t be used for something like light. That’s a good idea though. Why didn’t I think of that?”**

**“because you’re obsessed with blowing things up?”**

**The doctor narrowed his eye sockets at Sans, who had a shit-eating grin on his face.**

**–**

“That…” Gaster said, “…seems impractical.” What even was there to shoot huge lasers at that they would be intentionally made? It wasn’t as if Blasters were a common part of puzzles. At least the telekinesis didn’t elicit nearly the same response.

Yet he also narrowed his eyes at Sans’ shit-eating grin. That expression seemed strangely…. familiar.

–

**“I guess maybe it is here.” Gaster shrugged, then suddenly realized something. “Wait, are monsters trapped under Mt. Ebott?” He asked, wondering just how much of this world differed, then paused and stopped himself.**

**“No, no I should save all those questions for when we’re out of here. I know once I start I won’t be able to stop.”**

**“MAYBE THEY AREN’T!” Papyrus said, hopeful. “THIS SEEMS LIKE AN OPPOSITE WORLD SINCE SANS AND I DON’T EXIST.”**

**–**

“This is Ebott,” Gaster said. He hadn’t even considered that might not be something the travelers would assume. “You’re in New Home’s Hotland Lab. Fourth floor.”

He finished making sure the machine was fully covered before finding some paper, a pen, and scribbling a message onto it by Blaster light and attaching it to the front of the canvas, so it would be the first thing seen should anyone walk in.

‘My bad!’ the note read, ‘Please don’t touch. Open electric current. Fire hazard. Will be cleaned as soon as safety equipment is available. - Gaster’

–

**“Okay, so that is the same. Huh.” Gaster said, a finger raising to his toothless mouth to tap along his chin.**

**“maybe he just isn’t as paranoid about humans as you are.” Sans added, that grin still in place.**

**The doctor looked at Sans with annoyance. “Well that would be a good thing. If he didn’t fight in the war then he’s probably already better off than I am. And he doesn’t have you brats.” Gaster reached down to pinch one of Sans’ cheeks.**

**“ow.” He said, completely monotone.**

**–**

No. no, no, no, Gaster was not letting a comment like that go. He whipped around and grabbed his double’s arm, not intending to grip hard, but a little unable to help himself. “The war. You fought in it. How old are you? What happened to skeletons in your world? Tell me!”

–

**Unfortunately for both of them, Gaster didn’t do well being suddenly grabbed, no matter how gentle.**

**His body rippled like it was made of water, but it stayed semi-solid. Both eye sockets lit up a bright purple and his hand instantly raised, the slight glow of a bone beginning to summon, but not quite finishing.**

**“woah woah!” Sans yelled, holding his hands up.**

**Papyrus quickly stepped in, grabbing his father’s raised hand firmly. “DAD!”**

**The look of sheer panic on Gaster’s face smoothed almost instantly, the magic in his eyes fading.**

**–**

The moment the hand raised and his counterpart’s body began to ripple, Gaster was skidding backwards, well out of range of any immediate attack. Three of his four blasters vanished, the final one hovering just over his shoulder protectively, and he kept in a crouch until the glow of the other’s magic faded. Even if he hadn’t fought in the war, he still moved like someone who had been in fights before, and expected assaults before they came.

By the way the other Gaster had reacted to his stupid, sudden movement… maybe they really weren’t that different. Just to different extremes.

He waited, quietly, for the other to have a moment to relax.

–

**Papyrus stepped in front of his father, putting himself between them. His grip on Gaster’s arm remained firm. The shorter skeleton beside him gave the other Gaster an apologetic smile.**

**“sorry. he’s… not good with sudden movements.”**

**“DAD?” Papyrus said again, the doctor’s form rippling again before the normal white dots of his eyes reappeared.**

**“Uh… yeah… sorry!” He said, calling around the broad shoulders of his son to his other self. Just like that he seemed normal again, although still looked a little on-edge.**

**Papyrus sighed and let go of his creator’s arm before stepping off to the side.**

**Gaster awkwardly cleared his throat. “So, uh, what were those questions again?”**

**–**

Gaster watched carefully as all this happened. Slowly, he stood straight once more, and resummoned the blasters–smaller ones, this time. Cat skulls. They kept low to the ground, nonthreatening, and never pointed towards the other party.

“No, I should be apologizing. If we are… similar…” he still wasn’t exactly sold on this other Gaster actually being his alternate, “then I should have realized. That was stupid. I’m sorry.”

He kept his tone clipped and formal, but really, he did feel guilty, and at least tried to appear sincere, even if his voice was still stiff in its expression.

“…I just… please tell me what the state of skeletons are in your world.”

–

**“Eh.” Gaster said, waving off the apology. No harm had come to anyone and they had learned a valuable lesson. That was good, right? Yeah.**

**“Well… near extinct?” He finally said with a shrug. “Not many survived the war. Is it the same here?” His eyes turned to focus on his counterpart, although after his ordeal his gestures had come back out of nerves. Their movements were more radical than before and sometimes didn’t make much sense or follow what he was saying at all.**

**–**

Gaster considered that and continued with his own gestures. They were much smaller in contrast. Finely controlled. And kept close to his chest.

“…functionally extinct,” he said finally, after debating a few long moments on how exactly to put it. “…don’t be surprised if people stare if they see you.”

–

**“I won’t. We get a lot of stares anyway.” He said, then chose to elaborate. “After about a thousand years underground the barrier is broken and we make it to the surface. Or at least our timeline did. Humans are pretty freaked out by us for the most part.”**

**Gaster paused and exhaled through his mouth, lacking any sort of nasal cavity. “Guess our kind got screwed over in nearly every instance. That’s a shame.”**

**–**

Gaster barked out a laugh at that last comment, and quickly tried to stifle himself.

“Sorry. Sorry.” He coughed. “Yeah.”

Then, after a moment, he looked up again, looking rather… young all of a sudden. And maybe torn somewhere between hopeful and frightened. “..a thousand years. And you make it out? They don’t kill you?”

–

**Now it was his turn to laugh.**

**“Uh, well… nnnyees?” He eventually shrugged, “I’ve been a little… between life and death, so that’s a tough question. We should probably get out of here, or at least walk and talk.”**

**–**

“Right. Sorry,” he said. Glancing back and forth between the trio. “Um. Well. Fourth floor. Underground. There’s a stairwell and a back door, but, um, all of you at once might be… difficult to smuggle. Unless there’s some special powers you have I don’t know about.”

He meant it jokingly, but still. That would’ve been pretty useful right then. Though perhaps the cover of darkness in the blackout would help.

“…you said your Blasters couldn’t make light, didn’t you? That might scrap that…”

–

**“Yeah, ours are strictly weapons and I’m not willing to summon one indoors to test out the theory that they change to fit the timeline we’re in.” Gaster said, then looked around and eventually let his gaze land on the ceiling.**

**“Underground, you say.” He commented mostly to himself before waving his hand slightly in the air. A tiny prompt appeared, lines of information spread across it. “We can make this work. I can take Papyrus up a few floors where there doesn’t seem to be anyone around and you can walk Sans out with you. He looks like a tired scientist who’s lost all will to live, right?” He said jokingly down to Sans.**

**The skeleton smiled and shrugged. “not so much anymore, but i can pretend.”**

**“Alright.” Gaster held his hand out to Papyrus, who took it.**

**–**

Gaster watched closely. The prompt window, the talk of ‘taking’ Papyrus up, the… friendly way they all seemed so relaxed around each other. It was strange and uncomfortable and terrible, and he was going to ignore it until he felt better.

He turned to Sans instead, keeping an eye on the other two, but still mostly trying to focus on the shorter skeleton. “Your Blasters are weaponized. Are you comfortable touching one of mine to use as a guidepost, though?”

A small cat skull-like Blaster floated over as he spoke, still lit up, and looking away from Sans and his family.

–

**“sure.” Sans said with a lazy shrug, reaching out to touch the blaster. His other hand remained in his pocket. It seemed he rarely ever pulled it out.**

**Meanwhile behind him, Gaster took a step forward with Papyrus in tow. A rip in what looked like space itself opened with the sounds of electrical pops and fizzes as he stepped on through, both him and Papyrus vanishing once it closed.**

**–**

…Yeah, Gaster was going to question the fuck out of that later. For now, he focused on the only remaining skeleton in the room.

“Walk to the side, just out of my light. No one will be suspicious if you’re following a bit, but too close and they’ll notice. If in doubt, just follow the Blaster.”

As he spoke, the Blaster’s light faded, the skull growing as dark and shadowed as the room around it. It nuzzled up to Sans’ hand and stayed close to his side.

–

**“you got it, chief.” Sans said, his grin fading the darker and darker it became around him. He kept his hand on the skull, apparently not at all frightened about walking around in the dark or being separated from his family. Save for only a few quick instances that smile of his never seemed to go away, and when it did only the very corners managed to tug downward as though his cheeks were glued that way.**

**–**

Gaster had only spent a handful of minutes around the new skeletons, but he was.. not sure what to think of them. He couldn’t tell if their oddities were a result of being from an apparently alternate dimension, his own paranoia, or something else more deeply rooted than that. Still. Only one way to find out. Got to just keep going.

“I’m going to take a quick detour to check on an experiment before we go out entirely,” he said, “Just stay close to the Blaster. It’ll be fine.”

Dismissing all but the blaster under Sans’ hand and the larger one hovering over his shoulder, Gaster turned and lead the stranger out the lab doors and began the long trek through the hall.

–

**“sure.” Sans said and began to follow along. Before they left he spoke again, but it wasn’t directed at the Gaster leading him.**

**“we’re takin’ a detour, he’s gotta check on something.”**

**Gaster’s voice came through what sounded like a speaker. “What? God dammit, fine. I’d probably do the same thing, honestly. It’s an experiment, isn’t it?”**

**“yep.”**

**There was a sigh, but from the sound there was definitely a smile behind it. “Alright.”**

**–**

Yeah, he was really starting to get self-conscious with all this… family love going on.

Three levels up. Through a few turns. He kept Sans close with the Blaster and walked silently through the halls, occasionally sidestepping someone coming the other direction, only occasionally clicking his fingers out of habit to talk to himself. The gestures were mostly hidden, but most of what he had to say was things like _fuck it’s that intern_ and a running commentary on the people they passed.

Finally, they reached the medical area. He had the Blaster Sans was following pause a little ways outside the door while he headed towards the private bed areas, and ducked in to check on CS-1.

The experiment was curled in bed, fast asleep. Exhausted from the day spent getting injured and practicing magic.

…Gaster knew he’d recognized that smile.

A moment later, he was back out of the medical area and heading back out to the main hall, bringing Sans and the Blaster behind him. It had been a very short detour.

–

**At the very least, Sans was probably the best option out of all three to be the one he lead around, despite what resemblance he might have had with the experiment. He was quiet and said nothing as they walked, his footsteps nearly silent as he followed the blaster in the dark.**

**Nothing seemed to bother him, or perhaps he was just very good at following directions.**

**Gaster and Papyrus were in an empty room on the ground floor, the doctor hovering a window in front of him just so he could read where Sans and his counterpart were. It emitted only a very soft glow, just enough to read it and nothing more.**

**He would wait until they were close to step out.**

**–**

They reached the ground floor without any trouble. As they did, Gaster looked around, first making sure they were alone, before turning to Sans and asking, “So, how are we finding your friends to meet up?”

–

**“give ‘em a second.” Sans said, waiting for a few moments before the sound of a door opening down one of the hallways broke the silence. Two sets of footsteps got closer and closer, the glow of the tiny window all that could be seen.**

**He would be sure to quickly turn it off if anyone started to head their way. If not, he stopped just beside them and shut it off.**

**“Good to go?”**

**–**

“Um,” Gaster said, and nodded. He definitely wanted to know much, much more about that window before whatever else was going to happen happened. “This way.”

He lead them down the hall towards the laboratory exit. When they came to the front desk with the Temmie desk attendant, his eyes glowed a moment and his hand twitched. A small bone appeared underneath Temmie’s chair, unbalancing it.

When she bent down to try and figure out the disturbance, the bone vanished and reappeared beneath a different strut of the chair, shifting the balance again. Every time Temmie tried to find the unbalancing factor, he changed the bone’s location again, ushering the travelers past the front desk with him while Temmie made increasingly frustrated noises behind them.

Soon, they were out in Hotland. In the distance was what would one day be the MTT resort, but now was simply a looming dark construction site in the distance. There was no CORE on the horizon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been a while since this went up on tumblr, but since we're finally filling in the timeskip it's-- well. I made myself start posting it here finally. 
> 
> Should update on a weekly or bi-weekly basis, as often as Skull updates over on his end. Will contain spoilers for each respective work, so if you want to go through those blind, now's the time to do that, but otherwise, this can stand on its own without needing additional context--the gasters don't know each other either, and so they'll provide all the needed context to each other. 
> 
> Hope you enjoy!


	2. Chapter 2

**The trio hurried along behind him until they were safely out of the building. Once there all of them looked around and Gaster whistled. “Wow, this place looks** **really** **different. No wonder the power is going out, you don’t have the core built.” Gaster looked at where it would, possibly, someday stand.**

**“What are you using for power right now?”**

**–**

“Waterwheels,” Gaster said, “Waterfall’s full of them, but they’re old, and they’re failing. I’m trying to convince the Royal Scientist to give me leave to try something with geothermal energy using Hotland’s magma basins, but he’s… not willing to let me try until I have a.. cheaper model.”

He sounded incredibly bitter about this.

“Now. What’s this ‘core’ you keep talking about?”

–

**The more his counterpart talked, the more old memories were flooding back. Man, how far back had they travelled? It wasn’t all the same, of course, but this felt pretty early on when it came to being trapped in the underground.**

**“Basically what you’re building.” He said and couldn’t help but laugh. “That was one of my first big projects after we got sealed away. Careful though, the prototypes blow up a few times.”**

**“Well, mine did.” He added.**

**–**

Gaster re-summoned his other blasters, lighting their way better. He was confident they wouldn’t run into anyone out here right now, at least no one who would get too curious, unlike his coworkers. “I don’t suppose you remember what the working design ended up looking like, do you?”

It was strange, being alongside this other Gaster–he was getting more comfortable, thinking that, even if it was such a foreign idea. It was strange, being alongside a Gaster who.. apparently had accomplished something. A lot of things.

–

**“Of course I do.” Gaster said with a grin. “You don’t forget your first big achievement.”**

**“But-” He added, “-I’m not going to spoonfeed you. If you’re me you’ll figure it out. Figuring these things out for yourself is important.”**

**There was a pause before he added something more; “Unless you plan to build a time machine to break the barrier. Then I’ll gladly write out every little detail on how to make that work the first time around.”**

**–**

“I plan to,” Gaster said immediately, sounding fully assured and honest.

–

**Gaster’s steps faltered a little, but he didn’t let himself get left behind or appear anything more than slightly bothered.**

**“… Guess I’m writing out some notes tonight.”**

**–**

Gaster couldn’t believe that had worked. He smiled at his counterpart, just a bit. “Glad to hear that. We’ll be coming up to the docks soon. Just ask the boatmen to get you to the Capitol docks. I’ll meet you at Pier 7.”

He dug into his pockets and handed each a few pieces of gold. It would be enough for the payment and tip. Despite the lack of a CORE, this underground was clearly already fairly well put-together and had developed their own methods of making things work, even without vent puzzles or reliable elevators.

–

**“Yeah, yeah.” Gaster grumbled, taking the gold. He didn’t sound too pleased that his other self had roped him into basically handing his blueprints over on a silver platter, but he just didn’t have it in him to let another version of himself go through what he had.**

**There was no way he’d let this Gaster get trapped into the void if he could help it. Perhaps he would anyway, only time would tell.**

**It was no matter, he would try regardless.**

**–**

So his counterpart was clever, successful, and honest.

He sounded like a very nice person. Gaster felt sort of bad for lying, but. Whatever it took. A few lies were a small price to pay.

They reached the docks and Gaster got on one of the boats and went ahead to wait for the others at the meeting place.

…He’d probably have to find something for them to eat and somewhere for them to sleep, huh.

–

**The trio did much the same, using the gold given to them to get from one place to another.**

**As they traveled, Gaster wondered if these monsters had been as devastated by the war as his had. There seemed to be quite a lot of monsters despite how early on it might have been. A large part of him hoped they hadn’t fought or resisted as long as his timeline had. So many would still be alive if they had just caved in and let them be sealed with minimal bloodshed.**

**Heh. Caved.**

**That would have been a good one to tell Sans, but he decided it was best to keep all their mouths shut. Usually the timelines they jumped into weren’t quite this… drastically different.**

**Eventually they stepped off and met up with the other Gaster.**

**–**

Gaster had no idea of the terrible pun his counterpart had made, but he’d heard it, he would have appreciated it.

It was a bit brighter at the docks than it had been outside the labs at Hotland. There were more glow crystals about, with fires and shop windows lighting up the cobblestones. He’d long dismissed his blaster. Once he spotted the trio, he waved them over and began walking through the streets as someone who knew them very well, ducking in through an alley or two. Within ten minutes, they were at a small apartment block. He led them inside and upstairs.

“Mind the tripwire,” he said, stepping over it. “My neighbor tries to be funny. Don’t ruin it for him.”

He opened the door to his apartment and ushered them all inside.

…yeah, he probably should have cleaned more. His main room was about as beautifully, terribly bare as it usually was, with his main decorations being the table, couch, and swarms of papers and spare electronics covering every surface.

…he wondered if he’d owned chairs in the last five years.

He’d figure something out.

–

**They all followed him mostly silently, the only one ever opening their mouth to speak being Papyrus. He would comment on things he saw as they walked and either Sans or Gaster would elaborate a little or give him a little ‘that’s cool’ or ‘good eye, pap’ before going quiet again.**

**Each one of them stepped over the tripwire.**

**“a prankster? i like ‘em already.” Sans grinned.**

**As they stepped inside each one looked around, none of them looking surprised.**

**“… DEFINITELY YOUR ROOM.” Papyrus said, looking down at his father, who smiled and shrugged. The tall skeleton turned to look at the other Gaster. “IT TOOK ME A MONTH JUST TO CONVINCE HIM TO BUY A BED.”**

**–**

“Sorry, no weird alternates showed up last month to do that,” Gaster said, smiling apologetically. Papyrus seemed nice enough. He really did feel rather bad about not having more to offer them. He’d never really expected any guests, but… he hadn’t been raised to give so little. “I’ll offer you all the couch, though. …and if you’re hungry, there… are probably takeout menus around here, somewhere…”

–

**Gaster chuckled at the other skeleton’s words.**

**“THAT’S QUITE ALRIGHT! YOUR HOSPITALITY AFTER WE CRASHED THROUGH YOUR LAB IS MORE THAN ENOUGH.”**

**Sans was already making his way to the couch, sitting down with a thump. He sighed and closed his eyes, leaning back as though he could take a nap right then and there.**

**“SANS!” Papyrus frowned at how easily his brother was taking advantage of the offer.**

**“what?” The skeleton smiled and pulled out a handheld device from his lab coat. “i’m doing work, don’t worry.”**

**The taller of the two groaned, but said nothing more as Sans turned on the odd-looking tablet and started to poke at its surface.**

**–**

Gaster was now very badly torn. On one hand, hospitality–”Really, it’s no trouble. Make yourself at home,” he said to Papyrus–on the other hand, “…what is that you’ve got there?”

He levitated the papers off his table as he moved and set them in relatively neat stack by the wall, and walked closer to Sans, trying to get a look at the tablet he had.

–

**Sans looked torn for a moment, the white dots of his eyes glancing over to his father, who met them before giving a shrug. “It’s fine.”**

**Before he could start explaining it though, the other doctor approached. “Got some paper? I can start scribbling all sorts of nonsense down that I’m sure you’ll want.”**

**–**

This was the weirdest, best day of Gaster’s life, if it was actually going to pay off. The only other door in the house, leading to what would have at one point been a bedroom, opened up and a stack of home-pressed paper flew out. It settled on the newly cleared table, along with a wire holder of pens. “Please.”

–

**“Yeah no shit ‘please’.” Gaster scoffed, but didn’t seem at all mad that he had been roped into writing down some of his work. He took a seat and instantly began scribbling away.**

**Once Gaster was busy, Sans looked at the… other Gaster. He stared at him only for a second before catching himself and looking back to the device in his hands.**

**It was so strange to see ‘his dad’ whole again.**

**“this is what we use to try and find the anomaly, or how far away it is from the timeline we’re currently in.” Sans began, “the anomaly being a… creature that likes to infect other timelines before destroying it.” He explained, however roughly that might have been.**

**“that’s why we have the machine. originally we built it to get out of the barrier, now we use it to try and track down the anomaly.”**

**–**

“Sounds like there’s a pretty long story there,” Gaster said, glancing between his counterpart and his… counterpart’s son. He very much wanted to see how the device worked, but considering everything, letting him fiddle with it was obviously not a particularly viable option. The other Gaster was scribbling away, intent on that, but he realized a moment later Papryrus hadn’t said much and… was hopefully not feeling neglected by the conversation.

He looked up at the tall monster. The other two were clearly already situated, but this one was not yet. “…I. Sorry. Can I get you anything?”

–

**Sans couldn’t help but let out a dry chuckle. “you have no idea.”**

**As the other Gaster addressed Papyrus he started to flicker through a series of menus. “OH NO, I’M FINE. I’D… ACTUALLY OFFER TO CLEAN A LITTLE FOR YOU BUT IF YOU’RE ANYTHING LIKE DAD I KNOW YOU’D HATE THAT.” He made a face.**

**“It’s orderly chaos.” Gaster said from hunched over at the table, as though it was the 10,000th time he had said it. Papyrus rolled his eyes just as his father sat up.**

**“Wait. Shit, can you read this?” He lifted up the paper, all his words and calculations in a series of symbols like hands, smiley faces, crosses, and stars.**

**–**

Gaster took a look at the paper and laughed again. “Of course. I’ll have to translate it later, but… yeah. Of course.”

He didn’t quite realize he was smiling like an idiot at the sight of someone else writing wingdings until his face was almost aching with it. Still. He didn’t really want to stop.

–

**“Hallelujah!” Gaster yelled a little louder than he probably wanted to before slapping the paper back down. “I haven’t been able to write this without needing to translate in… forever.” He shook his head, a smile on his face nearly as wide as his twin’s. He mumbled something akin to ‘fuck the latin alphabet’ under his breath.**

**Papyrus eventually took a seat beside Sans, peering over his shoulder as they both stared at lines of code zooming across its screen. The shorter of the two sighed and handed it over to Papyrus. “you wanna watch it for awhile, bro?”**

**“SURE.”**

**He took the device from his brother and watched the code fly across the screen. Even he looked slightly bored by it, as though they had done this hundreds of times before.**

**–**

“People suck at Wingdings,” Gaster said, “it’s awful. I know exactly what you mean.”

He glanced over at the two brothers, taking note of their rather bored expressions. He wondered how often they’d been doing this, traveling around, stopping this ‘anomaly.’ To get so bored while on the hunt for something they clearly believed to be extremely dangerous… it wasn’t exactly something he envied them for, but. He wondered what it was like. Traveling with their family, having others as close as they were, working together.

Not his lot in life. It wouldn’t be. But still; even though his counterpart was odd and vaguely viscous, it was good to know that somewhere, in another time, there had been… something happy.

…he needed to find something to do. Maybe he still had quilts in the closet he could bring out. Maybe he could just keep watching his counterpart write. He was a bit lost in his head, and he knew that, but it would take effort to pull himself out..

–

**After a little bit of silence with the only sound being Gaster’s scribbling, Papyrus spoke up again. It was probably a bit jarring to hear his loud voice suddenly cut through the quiet. It didn’t appear as though he could really control the volume of his voice, but perhaps that was a common things with skeletons in this world too.**

**“YOU CAN ASK US ANY QUESTIONS. WE DON’T MIND.”**

**Papyrus always enjoyed talking to other versions of people he knew in other timelines. Then again he enjoyed talking in general.**

**Sans had almost fallen asleep already.**

**–**

Gaster did jump a bit at the sudden noise, but recovered quickly enough. He tried to speak a little more quietly than Papyrus, out of courtesy for Sans, but if Sans could sleep through Papyrus’ speech, maybe he could sleep through about anything. “Thank you. I.. have a lot of questions. …I’m sure you do too. I’ll answer as best I can.”

He glanced at the other Gaster once more, curious to how much attention they were being paid, before turning back to Papyrus. “So… a family of time travelers?”

–

**“YES!” Papyrus said enthusiastically, apparently that not even enough to stir his brother. “I’M NOT VERY GOOD AT THE TECHNICAL STUFF, BUT-”**

**“Don’t say that, Pap.” Gaster said sternly, apparently paying enough attention to know when his son was talking down on himself.**

**Papyrus merely sighed and rolled his eye sockets as much as he was able. “WE WERE SPLIT UP FOR A VERY LONG TIME, SO NOW WE DO EVERYTHING TOGETHER.”**

**–**

“I see,” Gaster said, nodding. “…how long have you been doing this?”

–

**“MAYBE ABOUT…” Papyrus paused to think. “A YEAR? HAS IT BEEN A YEAR?”**

**Gaster slowly stopped writing and lifted up his head. “Uhhh… Maybe…? I’m not good with time anymore.”**

**–**

“Yeah, I guess that was a stupid question to ask about time travel,” Gaster said. “..I’m just. Still having trouble fully believing you, I suppose. I saw you arrive with my own eyes, but that doesn’t always mean anything. And I’m having trouble figuring out a way to test what you’ve been saying. I don’t mean to be rude. But. It is… weird.”

–

**“IT’S ALRIGHT.” Papyrus offered him a smile. “WE KNOW HOW WEIRD IT SOUNDS. NYEH-HEH!”**

**Gaster grabbed another piece of paper and continued writing. “Didn’t you ask how old I was back there? How long do monsters typically live in this timeline?”**

**–**

Gaster lit up again. “I did ask that. Um. It depends on the… the type of monster. Usually. Dragons, turtles, eldritch… they… natural lifespan is extremely long. I don’t know of any who’ve died naturally. Others are shorter. Whimsum only a few decades. Moldsmol, et cetera, less. I’ve… just gotten into my third decade. So. Right.”

–

**“It’s kinda similar in some ways. The more common a monster’s race is it seems like the shorter their lifespan, usually because having children will pretty much start the aging process.” Gaster explained, “I’m probably…” He stopped writing and looked up at nothing in particular. “… somewhere around 1,100? 1,200? Maybe?” He shrugged and gave his twin an apologetic shrug. “Time jumping makes things weird.”**

**He turned and went back to writing. “Although honestly I don’t know how much of me is monster anymore, so who knows if I age at all.”**

**There was another pause.**

**“And the boys don’t count against my age, I made them in a lab rather than the usual way.”**

**–**

Gaster looked stricken at the sound of his twin’s age. Still. He swallowed his shock down and wondered again how many differences were between their worlds.

“…Yeah. I. Should I ask what you mean by ‘how much of you is monster’? And…” he glanced at the boys on the couch. “…I sort of figured that’s how you made them. CS-1?”

–

**“My original body was destroyed when the time machine exploded. That’s why I’m writing all this down. I shouldn’t be alive.” His voice sounded grim at that and even Papyrus’ usual smile faltered a little as he watched the code dance across the device in his hands.**

**“All that’s left is my soul and… well.” He stopped and held out his arm, letting the ‘flesh’ distort and lose its form before putting it back into place and then shaking his hand a little, as though it made it go numb. “Whatever I’m made of. ‘The void’, which is the area between time and space. Not a very nice place to be, let me tell you.” Gaster laughed bitterly.**

**“And no, I never gave them code names like that. I called Sans ‘kiddo’ for a really long time. Probably why I fucked up and got attached.” He laughed at himself. “But I’m glad I did. Papyrus has always been Papyrus.”**

**–**

Gaster absorbed that information, edging away a bit when his twin’s arm began to distort. “…I see.”

He glanced at the notes. “…so those are for the time machine, not the core?”

He wanted to comment on bringing in experiments as children, but… he decided that could wait until Sans was definitely asleep and Papyrus became distracted.

–

**“No they aren’t.” Gaster said with a grin, wiggling the end of his pen towards his twin. “I’ll put a little information about the core but you’re on your own for that for the most part. I know how you feel about it, trust me.”**

**He returned to writing, his scribbles sometimes almost impossible to decipher, even for wingdings. “You’ll build it, don’t worry. It works… well okay it doesn’t work great at first, but you hammer out the kinks eventually.”**

**–**

Gaster did not return the grin in the slightest. What had been a pleasant expression since they exited the lab turned hostile. “I don’t have the luxury of being able to hammer out kinks! Or of ‘eventually!’”

He kept his hands under the table, but they still jerked instinctively in several rude gestures.

–

**Gaster didn’t seem the least bit offended by his counterpart’s anger. It was him, after all. He looked up from his writing and stared at himself directly in the face, but his expression was nothing but pleasant. “That reminds me, you said you weren’t the royal scientist. That’s new. Who’s in charge right now?”**

**–**

Gaster was not at all soothed. If anything, he looked even angrier at how calm his counterpart was.

“Serptrine.” He spat the name. “You don’t get to change the subject that easily. Why won’t you tell me about the core?”

**–**

**“Because I hate spoonfeeding the solution to someone who I know has the capability to do the work themselves.” Gaster said, still not a lick of anger on his face.**

**After a moment he inhaled deeply and tapped his pen on the table. “How far have you gotten?”**

**–**

“It isn’t about if I can, it’s that it needs to be done,” Gaster ground out. Still. He tried to take a deep breath and reign in his anger, standing up. No magic right now. He walked over and picked up one of the many, many stacks of papers along the wall, apparently knowing exactly where things were despite the mess.

He carried them back and dropped them down on the table. “These. Are my designs.”

The designs are varied and covered in notes, all written in the latin alphabet. Some are similar to ones the other Gaster may have gone through in the early stages and later discarded due to issues later discovered once they were being built. Some of those design flaws still existed–they clearly hadn’t had the chance to be discovered yet in a practical run–but each design was more compact and more possible than the last. And each variation had fewer and fewer enthusiastic notes.

–

**Gaster took the designs and held them at arms length, then close again. He glanced over to Sans but apparently didn’t want to wake him up, so instead reached into his chest and pulled out a pair of glasses from… somewhere inside of himself and put them on, bits of tape stuck to the sides to keep them up.**

**He began to leaf through the designs and couldn’t help but laugh. “Ahhh, watching the excitement die through cliff notes. Beautiful.” He joked, then started to make two piles in front of him as he went through.**

**–**

Gaster reminded himself that it was very rude to bite guests who were supposedly trying to help you.

He waited patiently as he could, watching his counterpart leaf through his work, before he finally just had to ask, “Well?”

–

**“Shit.” He pointed to one pile. “Promising.” He pointed to the other, then went back to the first.**

**“I recognize some of these, the problems that come from them really aren’t worth trying to get them working, but the others aren’t bad.” He picked up the ‘promising’ pile. “The main obstacle you’re facing that I didn’t, is cost.”**

**“Our population wasn’t nearly quite as large as this, so obviously everyone is going to shoot you down and worry about food and housing over power until they’re suddenly left in the dark and then wonder why they never listened to the weird guy.”**

**Gaster thumbed through them one more time. “Each have their problems. You’ll never get it perfect, probably. I had to mess with the core for decades after I finally finished it just so it didn’t blow the hell up. Oh!”**

**He grabbed one and held it up. “Cooling. Cooling is a big fucking problem. Keep that in mind.”**

**–**

“The ‘cost’ excuse is bullshit,” Gaster said, his anger slowly dissipating as he began to get legitimate feedback. “Housing and food have been stable for years. It’s time we didn’ have to live in the dark anymore, or worry about hospitals going out of commission every other day because of faulty lines. It’d save us so much effort in the future if we just got consistent power now.”

He sighed and rolled his head back. “…it took you decades. Fuck. Fuuck. Okay. Cooling. I’ll… figure out something with cooling. Can’t drain waterfall. Snowdin..” he began mumbling to himself.

**–**

**“Mine still isn’t perfect, but it works.” Gaster shrugged, then watched his twin moan and grumble. Something about it shifted his expression from catty playfulness to something a little more sincere.**

**“Ice. Ice from Snowdin travels down through Waterfall and into the chamber to cool.” He tapped the center of one of his plans.**

**–**

Gaster looked at his twin, a little startled, but… very grateful. Just the one hint might’ve saved him weeks of brainstorming and effort.

“Thanks,” he said, and leaned over towards the plan the other Gaster tapped. In the margin, he wrote a quick note to himself in Wingdings. He’d have to revise the plan anyway, so as long as it wasn’t going to be presented as an option, he could write it out in his own way.

–

**“Now I have a question.” Gaster said, looking up at himself. “You didn’t fight in the war, right? So how did it go? It seems like a lot of monsters survived, or… it’s been a long time since then.”**

**–**

“…it’s been over a thousand years that we know of,” Gaster said. “I was only born in 20XX. Probably. We… there’s a Dark Age right after the war. No writing, no carvings, no books. We’re not sure how long it lasts. So at least a thousand years. We lost. Badly. Most schools skip over the details, that I know of. I… only know what I do because I’ve been digging.”

He glanced over at the other stack of papers by the wall–the ones he’d mostly cleared from the table. It was the only stack of papers to outclass the ones on the Core designs.

–

**“Hm, interesting.” Gaster mumbled, rubbing at his chin for a moment. He glanced over at Sans and Papyrus, one sleeping soundly while the other boredly stared at the tablet in his hand.**

**He opened his mouth for a moment and then closed it again, then opened it and finally spoke accompanied by his gestures out of habit. “How many humans have fallen down here?”**

**–**

“Two,” Gaster said. “Or… three. But the first fallen human… doesn’t quite count.”

He looked a little uncomfortable as he said it, perhaps even sad. He’d been alive when the human first fell. He remembered the day they died. He remembered the day Hope was really, truly broken in the Underground.

He glanced up at the boys on the couch as well, before gesturing slightly with his hands, taking a gamble on if his counterpart would see it. _Are you alright with talking without them?_

–

**At mention of the first human child, the whites of Gaster’s eyes faded out and he suddenly looked very, very angry.**

**It faded as quickly as it had come upon seeing the other’s gestures.** **‘ _Maybe. Depends on what about. Shoot._ ’**

**–**

That–was a very different reaction from what Gaster expected from the mention of the First Child.

 _Whatever that face was about_ , he said, _but. Actually. About the clone experiments._

–

**Gaster didn’t answer right away. He inhaled deeply and started to sign something but his hands started to shake too much and he took a moment to lean back and rub at his face. After a second attempt he finally managed to do it. At least signing was easier than talking for him.**

**_‘The first child is the anomaly. I don’t know what timeline they came from, but they infest the others like a virus as you’ve been told. I fought them for a very long time in the void to try and stop them and it got me no-_ ’ ** **He stopped for a moment and changed his wording,** **‘ _-it got me my boys back eventually, but they’re still alive. Or as alive as you can be as a soulless piece of…’_**

**The doctor let his gestures pitter out and took another deep breath before addressing his twin’s other question.** **‘ _Anyway, what about them?_ ’**

**–**

_Not Chara,_ Gaster said, startled. That. That was not–not impossible, if time travel and alternate universes, but. Fuck. _…I… the experiments. You made them your sons?_

–

**Gaster was more than happy to drop the subject of Chara and move onto something much more light-hearted. ‘** **_Not originally, but yes. Sans was intended to be a weapon strong enough to break the barrier. Papyrus was made later, as a…_ ’** **He paused,** **‘ _well, as something to make slight amends with what I did to Sans.’_**

**–**

Gaster planned to say something scathing about how someone as smart as him could’ve thought a single monster had any hope of breaking the barrier single-handed, especially one as fragile as CS-1–if their universes were at least consistent on that front–but the last sentence halted him. … _Make amends with ‘what you did?’_

–

**‘ _I nearly killed him._ ’** **Gaster said, taking another glance over at his boys. Even Papyrus was beginning to get sleepy from staring at the screen for so long.**

_**‘I overloaded him. I kept pushing to see if I could match or surpass the strength of a human. It didn’t work. He nearly melted into nothing. I reversed what I could, but since then he’s always been pretty unstable.’** _

**–**

_So the instability only began after various experiments?_ Gaster knew he was probably sounding a little too casual about that, but clearly things had worked out okay, so it was probably fine? _I’m assuming you used DT?_

–

**‘ _Yeah. I wanted to give it gradually over the years in the hope that he would build a tolerance. Maybe he has over your average monster, but I’m not willing to test that now.’_** **Gaster said, apparently unoffended that they were discussing his sons like experiments. They were, at one point, so why not? It was science. And he loved sharing his science.**

**He nodded at mention of DT.** _**‘Papyrus has it too, but just the right amount. He’s about as strong as I could make without things getting dangerous for his health.’** _

**–**

Gaster relaxed again upon seeing the other wasn’t offended. _You didn’t test on other monsters for it? And has there been any progress in stabilizing your Sans since the overload, or once it happened, was there simply no going back?_

–

_**‘Wasn’t allowed to. That was my original plan, but the King was pretty against that idea. So I made my own.’** _ **Gaster sounded proud at that even though his gestures somehow.**

**_‘More or less. He’ll always have issues. It gave him nightmares and sometimes he gets sick. I tried to draw it out of him more and more but…_ ‘** **He inhaled,** _**‘Sans was done with being experimented on by that point and I didn’t have the heart to keep trying when he clearly didn’t want it.’** _

_**–** _

Gaster nodded, That makes sense.

He paused another moment to consider his next question. … _how, exactly, did you go about trying to draw the DT out and know when we was reaching a more stable level?_

With the careful way his hands made those gestures, it was very difficult to misunderstand, and clearly the question had some sort of immediate relevance.

–

_**‘I somehow reversed the machine I was using to give it to him.’** _ **Gaster kept himself from laughing bitterly at that.** **‘ _I say ‘somehow’ because I was in a complete fucking panic and did it without even thinking. I probably couldn’t recreate it, unfortunately.’_**

_**‘I figured he was stable when he wasn’t oozing all over the table of blowing half the lab to splinters.’** _

**–**

Gaster thinned his mouth, but nodded and accepted that answer all the same. _I see. Thank you. I can’t use much of that, but it is definitely good to know._

He glanced back over at the two on the couch, making sure again that they weren’t being disturbed or paying attention to the conversation. It was rude to talk  while the person was listening.

–

**Gaster did the same, glancing over to both of the skeletons slumped on the couch. Sans had since slid down, his cheek squished against his brother’s gangly arm as he slept. When the doctor turned back around he gave his twin a serious look.**

**_‘Be good to your Sans. He’s just a kid and he’s probably really scared. At least, I assume so. I know it’s science…_ ’ ** **He rolled his eyes at himself,** _**‘God do I know it’s science and it’s very tempting, but don’t do dumb shit like I did.’** _

_**‘Take care of him.’** _

**–**

He watched his twin carefully, eyes narrowed, and wondered what, exactly, had been happening in that lab.

CS-1 is just a prototype, he told the other, intending to be comforting. His survival is my goal. _Nothing extreme’s going to be happening to him. He’s just a fragile klutz is why I was asking._

–

_**‘CS-1 is just a K-I-D.’** _ **Gaster signed, not intending to be angry but signing out each letter very deliberately.** _**‘I know telling you this is probably for nothing, because you’re me and I know what I was like, but just…’** _ **He stopped signing for a second and tried to think of what he wanted to say.** **‘ _Fuck I dunno where I was going with this. You get the point.’_**

**–**

Gaster frowned. ' _CS-1 is a **prototype** ,'_ he signed, not spelling out each letter, but giving the word a particular emphasis. _He cannot afford to be a kid. He’ll spend his life in a lab; I intend to make it a comfortable life if I can. But that is all I can do. Our situations are clearly very different in this regard._

It maybe came off a bit more formal than he would’ve liked--he really would’ve liked to sound sympathetic, but. Not for this. It just wasn’t in him to lie about that right now.

–

**Gaster sighed and went to sign something, but stopped.** _**‘They might be. But they might not be.’** _ **He eventually decided to say.** _**‘I can’t make you do anything, but seeing as I’ve just given you quite a good chunk of my more important notes, at the very least I want you to keep an open mind. Don’t let science blind you.’** _

_**‘Don’t be afraid to get attached. It might be the best thing that happens to you.’** _

**–**

Gaster narrowed his eyes. _We’re clearly not communicating properly. I’m not interested CS-1’s project. I’ve been trying to ask for a different handler for some time now. I don’t want him to come to any harm. I want him to be comfortable and content. But I don’t have power over what happens to him, and I don’t want any part of his project. Science is not an issue for me in this case. In fact, it’s my motivation to get out. As you can see–_ he gestured around the room, at all the stacks of papers, books on the walls, the faint lights of crystals and candles out the window– _I have other projects I’m more desperate to work on. The barrier can go fuck itself. It’s the underground I’m concenred about._

–

**_‘You have power over him if you’re even the slightest bit involved, but-_ ’** **Gaster held up his hands in defeat.** **‘ _-I won’t press._ ’**

**A part of this really was like watching a younger version of himself. It was strange and… sort of funny, actually. Of course this Gaster was much more polite than he would have ever been. Even now, after all he had been through and how much he had gotten over those issues, this version of himself was probably ‘better’ in a lot of ways.**

**Funny. He was still the asshole Gaster. He’d have to get himself a little trophy made when they got back home.**

**–**

Gaster tried to settle down when the other lifted his hands in defeat. It wasn’t that he didn’t understand he had power over CS-1--that was part of the problem. Having someone living and impressionable dependent on someone like him and his reports was not a good feeling. At least with his machines, he could always repair when he broke them.

This alternate-dimension elder version of himself (and wasn’t that rich?) had… had good points. And good intentions. He just. really, really didn’t want good intentions right now, much less from someone clearly much more experienced and level-headed than he was.

Because right now, he was being a fucking snake.

_…right. I’m sorry. We can change subjects. There has been another thing I’ve been wondering a bit, but… it might be a bit personal._

–

_**‘Go ahead. If it’s too personal I’ll just tell you to fuck off.’** _ **Gaster smirked.**

**–**

_How did you get those scars?_

–

**‘ _These or these?_ ’ ** **Gaster asked, first pointing to his head and then down to his hands.**

**–**

Ah well. Couldn’t hit every sore spot in passive-aggressiveness perfectly each time.

 _They aren’t from the same incident?_ he said, genuinely surprised. Then, after a moment of hesitation, gestured to the scars on his own forehead as an indication. _I just wondered since.. Well. Thirty years worth of scars verses over a thousand’s worth? And still somehow relatively even._

–

**‘ _Nope_.’ ** **Gaster said, clearly not bothered by the question. He pointed to the upper scar,** **‘ _This is when Sans clocked me with one of his blasters after he went unstable.’_** **He then pointed to the one below his eye.** _**‘This was when the time machine exploded.’** _

**He then held up both hands, gesturing with each one as he said the names of his sons.** _**‘Sans.’ ‘Papyrus.’** _

_**‘I guess I technically have more unless that’s everything? But my body is long gone. I had a few across my shoulders that were from the war.’** _

**–**

_I see. It must have been a lot to bear,_ Gaster said, at a loss of what else to say. Still, it was odd to think of surviving a thousand years with still the same relative number of visible scars as himself. He didn’t know if that said more about him, or about his counterpart.

–

**The doctor shrugged indifferently.** **‘ _What about you? You didn’t fight in the war and apparently Sans isn’t old enough or powerful enough to be blowing half your face off. Shitty childhood?’_**

**He then added,** **‘ _You can tell me to fuck off.’_**

**–**

_Good childhood_ , he said. _Stabbed myself in the face._

He said it with such a straight face, he wondered if his double would believe him.

–

**Without missing a beat Gaster signed;** **‘ _Brutal_.’**

**He didn’t know if his double was telling the truth or not, but it didn’t really matter. If it was true he couldn’t say anything, he had yanked out the palms of his hands for genetic material for clones.**

**–**

_You_ , Gaster said, grin finally reappearing. _I like you._

It was really hard to dislike anyone who could use timing like that.

_Seriously, though. I just got into fights in college a lot. One guy got a lucky hit on my face. I gave him a new face piercing. I call it fair._

Though he was starting to wonder if there was just something inherently violent about being a Gaster.

–

_**‘I like me too.’** _ **He smirked, knowing that his double would pick up on that little bit of humor.**

_**‘College though, jeeze. I never liked the idea of schools. Sans had to convince me to let him and Papyrus go when they were older.’** _

**–**

_At least someone likes us_ , Gaster said, smirking back.

_I was homeschooled until college. Definitely the superior option. I only went for a shot at working in the labs. Didn’t like people without records much. Understandable, but a pain. The kid actually wanted to go to school?_

–

**‘ _Oh yeah.’_** **Gaster said, looking a little proud.** **‘ _I homeschooled him until Papyrus got old enough to enroll, then he suddenly wanted them both to go. I can see why, I’m a shitty English teacher.’_**

_**‘I still kept him back a lot. He’s a brilliant kid, helped me on the original time machine and the one we crashed through your lab in.’** _

_**‘Papyrus isn’t dull either, but he’s less technical than Sans and I. Better in other ways.’** _

**–**

_Oh, yeah, shit, they want me to teach CS-1 how to speak verbally back at the lab,_ Gaster said, snorting. _I am not qualified to teach anyone anything remotely like that._

He looked up at the two on the couch again as his double spoke. _…yeah. I haven’t seen much of him, but. Papyrus seems like a good kid. …Kind._

–

**_‘I could help a little with that if you want. It would be cool to see another little experiment Sans. I taught him how to talk. He slurs sometimes but…_ ’ ** **Gaster shrugged,** _**‘like that fucking matters.’** _

**He followed his twin’s gaze at Papyrus just as something beeped on the tablet and he sat upright before poking at the screen a few times.**

**“Everything good, kiddo?”**

**“YEAH.” Papyrus said with a yawn. “NOTHING YET. I’M GOING TO SET IT TO THE NEXT STAGE.”**

**Gaster nodded before turning back to his double.** _**‘If you’re as connected to a Sans as I am, I bet you’ll get your own Pap eventually. He doesn’t change much over the timelines. He’s always a really sweet kid.’** _

**–**

_Oh, please, no, I don’t think I could handle two_ , Gaster said, thought he meant it in good humor. _If you’ll help with the speech, that would be great. I think he’ll probably be excited to have someone else to talk to as well. Though I do have a couple questions about your plan from here on. Are you just going to… be around, waiting for the ‘anomaly’ here? Or trying to fix your machine first?_

–

_**‘Nah. Usually the machine will only take a few days to go through the data from this timeline and others adjacent. While Papyrus looks over that Sans and I will work on fixing up the machine. Hopefully we don’t find the anomaly anywhere close by and we can just head home without anything fucking up.’** _

**He paused and a happy smile stretched his toothless mouth.** **‘ _This is nice though. You’re the first Gaster I’ve ever come across in all this time. We’re a bit of a rarity.’_**

**–**

Gaster struck a dramatic pose. _I feel very special, then._

–

**Gaster stifled a laugh and spelled out _‘_** _**W-O-W.’** _

**–**

Gaster got out of his dramatic pose, and peered at his double out of the corner of my eye. _Hey. Feel honored to be in my presence. Come on._

–

_**‘Fuck that you just make me feel old.’** _ **Gaster grinned.**

**–**

_!! How does that make you feel old??_

–

_**‘You’re younger than me! I’m not getting shit out of this but a pleasant conversation and getting to stare at a pretty face. You get the cool research and shit.’** _

**–**

_I have but one request,_ Gaster said, turning to his double very seriously, _don’t go all mentor-y on me. Please. If you talk down to me I might have to trip you. O-wise-older-me._

–

_**‘I promise nothing, but go ahead.’** _ **He said, unable to stop himself from grinning all this time.**

**–**

_Okay, I can work with that,_ Gaster said, grinning back. He was honestly pretty pleased with himself, getting him…self to grin for such a long time. _I really hope your kids weren’t paying much attention to me just now, though. That would be really embarrassing._

–

**‘ _Nah_.’** **The doctor shook his head for extra emphasis.** **‘ _If they were Sans would be cracking jokes and Papyrus would be groaning.’_**

**–**

_Inherited our sense of humor, then?_ Gaster didn’t quite mean to say ‘our,’ but he was definitely becoming a bit more comfortable with the idea.

–

**‘ _Definitely_.’** **Gaster said, still smiling.** **‘ _Papyrus gets on it too, but he’s tortured by puns, pranks, and scares all the time so he mostly just groans about it.’_**

_**–** _

_Poor kid,_ Gaster said, shaking his head in mourning. _It’s a rough life._

–

**‘ _Eh, he’ll live._ ’** **Gaster said, crossing his arms for a moment and shrugging.**

**The silence was cut short by the sound of Sans abruptly sucking in air and one of his slippers flying across the room to meet the far wall. Both Gaster and Papyrus turned to look at him, his eye glimmering blue and yellow before slowly dying down. He he woken up abruptly and jerked, his slipper carried by the sudden jolt of his leg.**

**“ARE YOU OKAY?” Papyrus was the first to ask, although none of them looked surprised.**

**“i… yeah…” Sans mumbled before sitting up and wiping a little sweat from his brow. Gaster stood to fetch his slipper.**

**“i thought you said there wasn’t a sans yet?” He looked between the other Gaster and Papyrus while rubbing at a certain spot on his ribs.**

**“HE SAID THERE WAS NO PAPYRUS.”**

**“… oh. great.” The short skeleton grumbled as he took his slipper from Gaster once it was handed over.**

**–**

Gasater couldn’t help it. When Sans gave such a sudden jerk, he’d flinched back and ended up a good few feet further from the table than he’d been a moment before. Still, no one seemed too concerned, so he shook off the newly-returned tension easily enough and watched from there.

“…should I know about something?” he asked, once they began to talk about Sans-es and Papyrus-es.

–

**“The nightmares.” Gaster repeated from earlier, but it was Papyrus who decided to elaborate.**

**“THE CLOSER ANOTHER SANS IS, THE MORE REAL THE DREAM.” He looked down at his brother. “NORMALLY IT DOESN’T MEAN MUCH. MOST SANSES ARE… JUST AS LAZY.” He shot his brother a glance, who grinned up at him all while rubbing at his ribs a little.**

**“BUT SOMETIMES IT DOES. ARE YOU OKAY?” Papyrus asked again.**

**“yeah i’m fine. it’s just dreams anyway. did he hurt his ribs or something?” Sans looked over at the other Gaster.**

**–**

Gaster nodded slowly, returning to where he was sitting before. “…he took a bad fall today. Broke a rib. Keeping him in the medical wing for now. …you can see his perspective?”

–

**“yeah.” Sans said, his hand finally moving away from his chest now that he knew the cause. “just what recently happened. it’s not like premonitions or anything.”**

**Gaster finally took off his glasses and put them back away inside himself before taking the device from Papyrus and looking it over.**

**“He’s another experiment like you guys. Honestly he might have a better Gaster looking out for him than you did.” He laughed.**

**“how much a step up we talkin’ here?” The skeleton joked with a grin. “‘cause it don’t take much.”**

**“Well he invited us into his house. Would I have done that?”**

**There was a mix of ‘no way’ and ‘OF COURSE NOT’S.**

**–**

“Rude,” Gaster said, shaking his head at his double, as if deeply ashamed. “Way to be fuckin’ rude. Our parents raised us better than this.”

He turned to Sans a moment later, “Honestly, no offense, but at this point, if one of you said you had premonitions about your doppelgangers, I’d probably say, ‘fuck it, why not.’ It isn’t the weirdest thing happening today by a stretch.”

The casual joking was still comforting even to just listen to, but  wow, he really hoped it took a bit more than that to be a step-up from his twin.

–

**“Like fuck they did. My mother would have had the toughest warrior shitting their pants with a look alone.” Gaster smirked, “Not that she was mean, but you get the idea.”**

**“THIS DAY HAS BEEN WEIRD FOR ME TOO! IMAGINE, THE FIRST WORLD WITHOUT A PAPYRUS!” He smiled and looked down at his brother. “THAT MUST MEAN YOUR DOUBLE IS A BABYBONES.”**

**“uh…” Sans just shrugged, having been unable to determine the height from his dream. It wasn’t too hard to still be a baby and stay the same size as him though, he knew he was pretty vertically challenged compared to the rest of his family.**

**–**

“…he’s not quite a baby bones,” Gaster said, though… it was sort of a complicated situation. He wondered if most of the other timelines they’d been to had Papyrus with a specific age gap to Sans. If that were true, would he be able to predict when he’d get a Papyrus of his own?

Not that he was getting a Papyrus. Or that people were things you could ‘get.’ But.

That was circular thinking. Nope. Fucking right out of that one. “Either way. Glad you didn’t see anything terrible, it sounds like. …your… Gaster might be meeting him later. Does that sound like a horrible idea, or just a ridiculous one?”

He was definitely going to take input from these two very seriously when it came to their Dad.

–

**The two brothers looked at one another, then at their father. “WHY? YOU USUALLY HATE INTERACTING WITH THE OTHERS.” Papyrus wondered aloud.**

**“I told him I could help get him to talk. I taught you two well enough.”**

**“oh god.” Sans started to laugh, a hand over his face. “but you’re so bad at it.”**

**“HEY!” Gaster pointed, but apparently didn’t have any defense to that and ended up just narrowing his eye sockets.**

**“yeah. exactly. i can teach the kid better than you half asleep.”**

**“YOU’RE ALWAYS HALF ASLEEP.”**

**“exactly.” Sans grinned wider.**

**–**

“Still better at it than me,” Gaster said, throwing his arms up and flopping back to lie on the floor a moment later. He gestured to his throat. “Fuck talking. How do people do this all the time.”

Even if Sans or Papyrus offered, he’d still sort of rather have the other Gaster help out. Papyrus’ loud voice might startle CS-1 pretty badly, and… he was just generally uncomfortable with the idea of introducing one former experiment who had gained autonomy to another experiment who was not going to. And who happened to be his replica. Yeah. Maybe not.

“Whatever help I can get is useful.”

–

**“YOU DON’T HAVE TO TALK IF YOU DON’T WANT TO AROUND US. WE CAN UNDERSTAND THE GESTURES WELL ENOUGH.” Papyrus offered.**

**Gaster seemed to be on the same wavelength as his double, and decided to set up a plan.**

**“I’ll help him with the kid while Sans fixes the machine and Papyrus monitors the timeline.” He handed the device back. “I’m the one who can teleport in and out, so if anything happens people won’t be able to catch two of us together at the same time.”**

**–**

Gaster nodded, fully agreeing. “I’m content with that if you all are. For now, though, you two were both almost fully asleep for a while. Call it a night and get some rest and we can worry about other things in the morning?”

–

**“good plan.” Sans smiled and leaned back again, letting his head rest on his brother’s lap, who looked none too happy to be a pillow.**

**“I SUPPOSE.” Papyrus mumbled as he fought back a yawn. He handed the tablet back to Gaster for him to take over monitoring while he slept.**

**“hey, uh, dings number two.” Sans said, opening one eye to look over at the twin. “i ain’t got nothin’ but a broken rib to worry about, right?” He said, talking about his double. “no other nightmares i should be worried about?”**

**–**

Gaster cringed at the nickname. Somehow, it was even worse than ‘Wingding.’ “…please don’t call me that. And no. Unless there’s some residual magical exhaustion or if he has nightmares from his early awakening, that rib should be the only thing troubling him right now.”

–

**“sorry, didn’t mean to upset. but ok. thanks.” Sans said before closing his eyes.**

**Gaster pulled out what looked like a tech magazine from somewhere inside him just so he could smack Sans over the head with it before putting it back.**

**“ow.”**

**His grin never faltered.**

**–**

Of all the strange things he’d seen that night… yeah, Gaster was just letting the majority of that go. Still, since neither Papyrus nor Sans were looking, he signed to his double _What was that for?_ before getting up and trying to find a place clear enough to at least put down pillows of some sort. He picked up one of his many notebooks while doing so.

–

**‘’Dings was the nickname he used with me before it was ‘dad’. He knows I hate it so he only says it to be a little shit.’** **Gaster signed back.** **‘I’m surprised it upset you though. Isn’t that your name? Wing Dings Gaster?’**

**–**

_My name is GSTR_ ** _,_ ** he said, and then, _G-a-s-t-e-r. Wingdings was a nickname. Because of how I talked. It never left._

It was hard to tell if he was more upset, irritated, or exasperated while signing about the name. Mostly, he seemed tired.

–

**Gaster paused and looked genuinely confused for a moment before signing out a simple ‘huh’.**

_**‘Getting some rest too? I don’t sleep much myself, so I want to be sure.’** _

**–**

_I’ll be staying up a bit longer working,_ he said, trying to not think of a timeline where he’d genuinely been named ‘Wing Dings.’ _Want tea?_

–

_**‘No thanks. I don’t need to eat much anymore either.’** _ **He paused and looked at his boys, both of them already dozing off.** _**‘I might go poke around the machine unless you want help with something else here.’** _

**–**

Gaster shook his head. _The only other thing I have to work on tonight isn’t… very mechanical. Thank you, though. Don’t let anyone see you._

–

_**‘I won’t. Besides, if they do, I have other ways of making them think they just saw something weird.’** _ **He turned to leave for a moment and then felt the need to clarify.** **‘ _And by that I mean I just sort of change shape before I teleport out. No darker implications.’_**

**–**

_Good_ , Gaster said, _Though I wasn’t going to ask. I was just going to say if someone saw us in a dark corridor, they’d already be seeing something pretty weird._

He smiled as he said it and wished the other Gaster luck again.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is where spoilers for Microwave Grapes begin

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is where spoilers for Microwave Grapes begin. If you would like to read that story first, it's updating at its own pace on askmicrowavegaster.tumblr.com

**For Gaster the night was mostly spent messing around in the lab. Dark or not he always carried his tablet with him, which could act as a flashlight when necessary. He didn’t make any repairs himself, simply spending the time noting what needed fixed and writing down any extra parts he would need. Thankfully most of the issues looked superficial, but he wasn’t going to leave it up to chance after the first accident.**

**Every piece would need to be checked over twice and every dent would need to be hammered out. If he had to stay for a month he didn’t care, he wasn’t going to fuck this up for a second time around.**

**Late at night he came back and plopped himself on the couch as quietly as he could to catch an hour or two of rest himself. As he rested his form sagged a bit, becoming less distinct and more like a solid… glob of ‘stuff’ with arms and a head.**

**It was one of the main reasons he hated sleeping even more now, as it always took him awhile to pull himself back together and look more normal in the morning. After being flung into the far wall of his machine though, he figured a little bit of sleep was probably a wise move.**

**–**

Gaster had spent most of his night–what energy he still had to stay up for the night, anyway–bent over the table, trying to not mess with the other Gaster’s notes and scrawling out more notes and thoughts into his notebook. He’d have to add more pages, soon–he was running out quickly, but for that moment–

He’d passed out with his face in the pages.

Even the intrusion of his double didn’t wake him up.

Sleeping bent over a table wasn’t precisely the most comfortable position, even for him, and when he woke up the next ‘morning,’ his back cracked and was clearly trying its very best to make him pay. His back could suck it up. His body, his rules. No more complaining.

When he was finally awake enough to see the odd…. shape sprawled over his couch alongside the other two skeletons, he just sort of blinked a bit. Remembered the events of the night before clearly enough.

…he wondered if he still had his old polaroid camera.

He got up to search a few drawers in the side room to search for it, and eventually succeeded, coming back out a moment later and checking to see if the trio were still asleep.

–

**Sure enough the three were still fast asleep. Sans had barely moved at all during the night, his head resting on Papyrus’ lap. The tallest of all three of them had leaned his head back sometime in the night, jaw open wide and nearly looking at the ceiling with one of his hands gently placed over his brother.**

**His double, or at least what remained of him, was sat beside Papyrus with his ‘arms’ crossed and his head slightly tilted with a somewhat troubled look on his face, but he was still definitely asleep.**

**–**

Gaster summoned one of his smallest blasters–the smallest he had which could still produce any sort of light–and sent it near the couch to give him what light he’d need to make sure the… goop pile that was his double would show up well in the picture.

_Click!_

Even if the form of his double didn’t turn out, it would be worth it well enough to have the pictures of the three. He slipped back out of the room, hiding the camera again and waiting to see if the photograph would turn out well. His blaster was quietly dismissed.

–

**It wasn’t much shortly after that that Papyrus began to stir. He inhaled sharply and sat upright, rubbing his neck a little with his hand before looking around. By the look on his face he was surprised to see his father beside him.**

**He wasn’t sure where the other Gaster was, but that didn’t matter at the moment. A hand gently shook at his father’s shoulder, the slightly odd-looking head raising and opening it’s eyes.**

**It was a stretch to call them eye sockets in his current state.**

**“I’M SURPRISED YOU SLEPT.” Papyrus said, trying desperately to speak quieter than usual even though it mostly failed miserably. He wasn’t sure if the other Gaster was in another room sleeping.**

**“E͟h͘.̵.̷. ͝it͜ s̵e̛ęmed ̶lik̵e ̸it w̴oul̛d be ͢ą goo̷d̴ i̵d̕ea͜.̢"̨ Gaster said, his voice crackling and distorted, nothing like it had been before.**

**–**

At the sound of voices, Gaster returned from the side room, but halted in the doorframe when he heard his double’s voice.

…At least he wasn’t quite _that_ bad, he supposed.

Not wanting to interrupt, he continued on quietly, trying to not disturb their conversation, and made it to the kitchenette to start making what would amount to breakfast. Tea. He was just making tea.

…hopefully the other three would be able to hold out until he got some actual food in the house.

–

**“GOOD MORNING!” Papyrus said, his voice chipper as always as the double passed.**

**Gaster only produced a small wave, but he didn’t look to be in a very good shape at the moment. It was almost like rest did the opposite, although that wasn’t true at all.**

**"I br͞oưght t̸h̴ę ba͢g̶ b͘ack.͟ ҉W͡ake ̨up y̕o͝u͟r b͢rot͞h̶e̸r̴.͏"͘ He said, his voice sometimes sounding like it was coming from somewhere else in the room entirely. It was disorienting to listen to, as if it was jumping across space every few words.**

**He reached over and pulled over a backpack that he had set down beside the couch, scooting it along to rest in front of Papyrus.**

**–**

Gaster gave a wave back of his own. The power had been fully restored at some point in the night, so now that two of the three were awake, he turned on the lights and lit up the room much more fully than it had been previously.

While waiting for the water to boil, he approached the couch again and peered curiously at the bag, and then also at his double. A bit hesitantly, he asked, _are you okay?_

He really, really did not like how his double’s voice was bouncing around the room. It made him feel–vulnerable. Like there was someone just over his shoulder who he couldn’t quite see. Just out of reach behind him. Eugh.

–

**Gaster looked up at his twin, the whites of his eyes only now flickering back on after what looked like a little force had been put into it. _‘I’m good. Sorry about the voice, I can’t help that at first. I look like this when I relax too much. I know it’s weird.’_**

**Meanwhile Papyrus was digging around in the bag and pulled out a couple items of what looked like food. An apple, some wrapped sandwiches, crackers, and other easily portable items. He started to shake his brother awake, who grumbled and rolled over to face the back of the couch.**

**Papyrus looked annoyed, like he had to deal with this every single day of his life.**

**–**

_It’s fine_ , Gaster said, still watching his double. Seeing someone who looked so similar to him in such a state… was not a particularly comfortable experience. It had been one thing while the other Gaster was asleep. Now that he was moving and speaking, and seemed to have to put effort into it? Like watching a flickering lightbulb. It was almost worse than seeing something fully off or on. _Do whatever you need to_. _You brought your own food, then?_

He refocused to look at Sans and Papyrus. They were easier to look at than his double’s current features.

–

**_‘Yeah. We’re used to being in other worlds for a couple of days. It’s easier to bring than to steal.’_ ** **He smirked, although it looked tired and slightly lopsided with the current state of his face.**

**“SANS, GET UP.” Papyrus groaned, shaking his brother a little harder.**

**“nnn…” The smallest skeleton mumbled. Papyrus made another agitated noise before reaching into the bag and pulling out a thermos. He set it in front of his brother’s face. “COFFEE.”**

**Sans lazily reached to grab it, but otherwise didn’t move.**

**–**

Gaster nodded along to the explanation. _That makes sense._

He glanced at Sans and Papyrus again, then spoke to both Papyrus and Gaster, since Sans didn’t appear to be very up to paying attention at the moment.. … _if he’s still tired, he can stay here a while if he wants._

–

**“HE’S ALWAYS TIRED.” Papyrus said with a frown, but then lightened his expression slightly. “DON’T PAY IT ANY MIND.”**

**Sans slowly sat up and unscrewed the lid to his thermos with his eyes closed before taking a drink from it and slumping on the couch. Gaster’s form was gradually getting a little better the more he worked on it, looking more like how he did before rather than just a… legless blob.**

**"Ţh͢e re̸pairs ͞wi͜l͘l be̴ m͝o͜s̢tly su͘p̢ȩr͜f̶i͟c̨i͢a̡l,͘ but w̛e're̷ b͠o̷th͞ ̵goi͞ng t͠o̧ g̕o̸ ̴o̧ver ̨it ̕fro̴m̶ to̢p ͠to ͏b̡o҉ţtom tw̢i҉ce̸ ̸b̡ȩf̵or̢e͘ I͠’m c͏omfort͜a͘b͘le̕ t̶ak̸in̴g ̨i͟t̴ ͏ba̡ck h̴ǫme̶.” He said, using his speech for the moment since Sans was facing away from him and didn’t even have his eye sockets open yet.**

**“mhm.” Sans mumbled.**

**–**

“I’ll be heading out soon,” Gaster said, speaking aloud for Sans’ benefit as well. “I’m assuming you can both get back to that specific lab without people noticing with that… teleportation trick?”

He glanced back over at his double briefly as he said it. He hadn’t quite gotten answers on what it was he’d seen him do to get Papyrus a few floors up, or why he couldn’t take Sans with him as well, but he assumed if he brought the subject back up causally, they’d be willing to answer.

–

**“̴I̸ ca̡n͜ t̛a̴ke o͟nę of̶ ̧th҉e͏m̡ w̡i͏th me ͏e҉a͢si̧ly ͘enou̕g͝h͢, ͏or take͝ ̢tw͘o tri͟p̛s̛.̧ Ţa͞k̷ing̸ m͢or͘e ͏th̢an͟ one ̧a̴t̕ ͝a t̨i̛me is҉ a ̴litt͜l҉e ̷dra̷i̡nin̢g͟.̡"̷ Gaster said, then cleared his throat a few times. At least his torso was looking a little more normal. Papyrus bit into the apple he had pulled out of the bag before zipping it back up and standing to sling it over his shoulder.**

**"͜Do y͠ou s͏til͢l w̸an͠t͟ ̡me t͜o h͟e͞l҉p ҉wit̶ḩ ͠t͠he ̴s͘pe͢e̴ch̶?̛ Obvįo̸u̸sl̕y͘ ͘not̕ un͠tįl ̡I̕ lo͞o̡k ̶a͢ l̨įt̨tle ̵l̷e͡s̴s w͘ei͘rd͝.”**

**–**

Gaster considered a moment and nodded. “Whenever you’re back to closer to how you were last night. I… don’t really want to scare him. I don’t mean any offense, he’s just… already pretty skittish whenever the interns or other scientists come in. He should be fine, but I just want to try to make it as simple as possible, regardless.”

–

**“No̸n̕e̕ ta̶ke͜ņ. Yo̷u don't҉ ha̵v̵e͠ to be polit͟ȩ ̧ab̷oưt̕ i̴t͢ for͡ ͞me s̛a͟k͏e."͝ Gaster said with a slight chuckle, "͜Yo͘u̕ ͘re̷a͏l̢ly ͡are th͢e̶ ni͏cer Ga̵ster.”**

**He cleared his throat a few more times. “You should probably e̛x̧pla̡i̴n͟-” He cleared it again, “-the whole teleporting business. I won’t exactly be able to walk down the hall and through the door.”**

**–**

“Force of habit,” Gaster said, shrugging. “…and having to do a lot of sucking up over the years.”

He nodded along to the next point, though. “…is there some way you can give me a warning you’re about to appear so I can tell him something other than ‘at some point, another me might show up,’?”

–

**Gaster thought about that for a moment and then looked like he was hesitating on whether or not to do one thing or the other. After a bit of thought he decided it was probably the best option and made a face.**

**“Yeah, but… well. Turn around for a second, you won’t like to watch this.”**

**–**

…Gaster positioned himself so he was turned away, but could still see the reflection in the window out of the corner of his eye. He hoped no one would notice. Not the best angle, but it would do.

–

**The doctor waited until his counterpart was looking away to reach up and pull something from the side of his head. It was a small speaker attached to a microphone, probably the same thing Sans had used to talk to him the night before in the dark.**

**Even Papyrus shuddered a little watching it, his father casting a look of ‘oh come on’ up at him.**

**“Alright, you can turn around now.”**

**–**

Keeping his face carefully, carefully blank, Gaster turned around. He’d practiced his ‘gee, I don’t know what happened,’ face plenty in his life, but hadn’t ever tested it on someone so similar to him.

Or after having seen something like that.

No one had noticed his own shudder. Still. He very much wanted to touch the side of his head to make sure there wasn’t anything _there_ after seeing that. It’d have to wait.

 _Okay?_ he said, trusting his hands more than his mouth at the moment.

–

**Gaster must have picked up on something, because he gave himself a look of ‘I told you so’ before holding the little speaker out to him. Perhaps the sudden switch to signals was tell enough.**

**“Try not to think about it.” He said eventually. “Press the button on the side to relay to Sans and Papyrus if you ever need to talk to them. I’ll be nearby. As for giving you a signal, I’ll have them do it before I teleport in.”**

**–**

Gaster snorted, but took the little speaker. He… held it a bit apart from himself, despite everything. … _You’re telling a Gaster to ‘Not Think About It.’ Really?_

Still, he took a breath and pocketed it. _All right, though. I’ll let you know if anything comes up, then. Anything else I should know before heading out?_

–

**The other Gaster laughed, “That’s true. Think about it as much as you want then.”**

**After some thought he shook his head. “If that lab is as empty as you said it would be, we should be fine. Once I get my legs back we’ll pop over.”**

**–**

Gaster nodded. _I enjoy giving myself nightmares._

Then, he had a thought. _Can you carry things with you when you teleport, if it’s fairly small?_

–

**“I can teleport anything up to a point.” Gaster said, gesturing along with his speech now out of habit. He seemed to like doing both at the same time. “Living beings are trickier, but… yes.”**

**–**

_I have something for you to take with you_ , _I think._ Gaster got up and rifled through the coat he’d been wearing the day before, a moment later producing a crumpled bag of chisps and a half-eaten bag of dissolve candy. _This is a peace offering. The kid doesn’t like the others in the lab, like I said, but you show up with something he likes and offer it, and between that and me vouching for you, it’ll probably be fine._

Gaster really hoped his counterpart wasn’t moral enough to object to bribing children’s affection. Then again. He had literally made a whole new person to try and make his first experiment happier. So giving candy was probably way less sketchy.

–

**Gaster reached out and took the offering, eyeing it for a moment before he smirked and looked over at Sans, who appeared slightly more awake.**

**“Looks like you like chisps everywhere.”**

**“chisps are good.” Sans smiled and shrugged before taking another drink from his thermos.**

**–**

_I’ll bring some back for you_ , Gaster said, not really thinking anything of the offer and bringing it up out of habit, latching onto the first thing he could really do aside from let them take the couch. _I’ll be heading out, then._

If he could judge his CS-1 by the present company’s Sans, he’d probably have to get used to buying a lot of chisps, anyway.

There were worse sacrifices.

He headed out.

–

**The three said their goodbyes, or rather Papyrus yelled a goodbye while Gaster and Sans waved. It would be awhile before they joined him, the doctor wanting to be sure he was back on two legs firmly before teleporting Sans into the room with their machine, followed by Papyrus.**

**He made sure the door was locked tight and hoped no one would come snooping while they worked, but just to be sure they kept their voices hushed.**

**Papyrus monitored the timelines nearby while the other two planned out the work ahead with the machine. It wouldn’t be until a few hours later that Sans’ voice would speak up from the speaker his father’s double had taken.**

**He whistled at first, not wanting to start talking until Gaster spoke back just in case he was in the room with someone else.**

**–**

Gaster jumped a bit when he heard the whistle, startling and looking around the room before he realized the source of the noise was the small speaker still hidden away in his pocket. The room was empty but for him and CS-1, who had just finished another tentative try at standing up, and was currently flat on his back in bed, tired and playing with the edge of his blanket.

He took out the speaker, feeling a little silly, and said, “…hello?”

–

**“oh good. yeah, dad okay to head over?” Sans said before the sound of someone else talking nearby followed, muffled and hard to hear. “oh right. is it on the same floor?”**

**–**

“No. It’s… floor two. Left wing. Containment level three.”

CS-1 had been released from the hospital wing that morning and returned to his containment level. Gaster had been using CL3 for him for so long, he hardly even considered it was still a containment level meant for more dangerous experiments to withstand very high magical violent potential.

It was just kind of where CS-1’s bed had ended up.

“Can he find it with that much information, or do we need to figure out something else?”

–

**There was more muffled talking. “nah he’s good. he can figure it out.”**

**More talking.**

**“does he know about the teleporting?”**

**–**

“Yeah, I’m reminding him again right now,” Gaster said, and as he spoke, clicked to CS-1. _Hey. Remember what I said about someone like me suddenly appearing? They will be, soon. You okay with that?_

CS-1 clicked back an affirmative. A very bored, very tired affirmative. He resumed flicking his bedsheet.

“He’s ready.”

–

**“alright. dad’ll be there in a second.” Sans said before the radio cut off.**

**Less than a minute later the area nearby the bed fizzled before ripping open for Gaster to step through. He looked like he had the day before, solid and rather more normal. It was easy to see that his ‘clothes’ were actually his body when you knew what he looked like before.**

**The tear closed behind him and he looked around before spotting CS-1 and smiling.**

**_‘Hey kiddo.’_ ** **He signed.**

**–**

CS-1 had been prepared for someone suddenly appearing. He hadn’t really been ready for the whole space beside his bed to rip itself open. As quick as his tiny body could go, he rolled and pulled the covers up over his head, peeking out from under them to stare up at the stranger, rather than expose his whole self. Both his eyes flickered blue.

Still, at the signing and when he realized Gaster only looked a little startled rather than fully alert, he relaxed and signed back a small, _hi_.

–

**Gaster looked around for a spare chair before pulling it over and taking a seat beside the bed. _‘Did he tell you I’ll be helping you with words today?’_ He signed.**

**–**

CS-1 signed a quick affirmative and made a quiet sort of squeaking-grunt of a sound.

 _That’s most of the sounds he’s making_ , Gaster said. _And hissing. Lots of hissing._

A bit slowly, CS-1 rolled back out from under the sheets and stared up at the alternate Gaster, completely unabashed and curious. He wasn’t nearly quite Sans’ size, but he was still pretty big for a kid, if much more frail looking than Sans had looked most of his childhood. He reached out a tiny hand to poke at the alternate Gaster.

–

**_‘Interesting. Obviously I’m no real teacher, but I might be able to get him to say a few things.’_ ** **Gaster said, then looked down and watched CS-1 poke at him. His body was cool to the touch and slightly pliable. Surprisingly having a clone of his son touch him wasn’t nearly as startling as having… himself… touch him.**

**Strange.**

**_‘So ‘s’ seems to be the easiest noise. Hm.’_ ** **The doctor hesitated for a moment and then looked up at his twin. _‘You said his nam-’_ He stopped himself, although looked a little uncomfortable at the idea. _‘You’re addressing him as CS-1, right? No name?’_**

**_–_ **

Gaster saw how uncomfortable the other was, but… well. There was nothing for that. _I’ve been using his designation, yes._

–

**He sucked in some air and fought back just how terrible that made him feel, reminding himself that this wasn’t his world and this wasn’t his Sans. It would be okay… for now anyway.**

**His attention turned back to CS-1. _‘Do you know the word ‘stop’?’_**

**_–_ **

CS-1 nodded, looking very proud, and repeated the gesture, though slightly differently than that Gaster had.

 _Knows STOP, remain, direction, questions…_ CS-1 said, beginning to list some of the things he could say. His signing was a little clumsy and broken, but understandable. Like a child’s early speech.

–

**_‘Okay, good!’_ ** **Gaster signed happily, then suddenly glanced over at himself and realized that… wow he had become really comfortable being a dad. Comparing his old self, which was still different than his doppleganger but similar enough, it was a little shocking to finally realize just how far he had come.**

**He tried to shake off the thought and concentrate at the task at hand.**

**“I’m going to switch to speech and signing now.” The doctor said, doing just that. “We’re going to learn how to say ‘stop’.” He paused and then signed it again slowly while mouthing the word along with it. “SSS-TOOO-P.”**

**“Say ‘ssss’.”**

**–**

CS-1 hissed fiercely!

“SSSSSSSSSSS.”

Gaster covered his mouth and determinedly did not smile, watching the two.

–

**“Nice! Good!” Gaster praised, not even needing to use the treats so far. “Now for the harder part. Say ‘taaaaa’.” He said it slowly accompanied by his signing, then pointed to his toothless mouth. “Taaaaa.”**

**–**

CS-1 pointed to his own mouth. “Ssssaaaaaaaaaa…. ss….aaaaaaaaahhhh…”

He frowned, looking upset. “Ssaa…..”

He looked up again, glancing between the Gasters, searching for signs of disappointment or for help.

–

**“It’s okay, don’t worry about it.” Gaster encouraged, “Keep trying. Teeth together.” He pointed at his mouth again and started to make the ‘t’ sound. “Tuh. Tuh.”**

**–**

CS-1 wasn’t sure how much more together his teeth could get, but darnit, he tried. “Puh.”

He frowned again and signed, _fuck_. “Puh.”

… “I didn’t teach him that,” Gaster said.

–

**“Sure you didn’t.” Gaster said with a smirk, but was only making a playful jab at his counterpart.**

**He continued the ‘tuh’ing a few more times just to see if CS-1 could get it before he would move onto another syllable.**

**–**

CS-1 didn’t quite manage a ‘tuh’ sound, but got a bit closer to making a variety of other sounds as he tried. If anything, the kid was mostly just trying to get used to making sounds and figuring out how they happened at all, still. Occasionally, he’d look up at his own Gaster for reassurance that things were still okay before resuming his attempts.

–

**That was fine. After getting a little closer Gaster moved onto things like ‘aaaa’ and ‘puuuuh’, but he only ever lingered for a couple of tries before moving onto something else. He didn’t want CS-1 to get frustrated and want to give up, so bouncing around from one to another was good.**

**After some ‘eeee’s and ‘uhhhh’s he stopped and held out a few of the candies that had somehow just sort of appeared in his hand. He probably had them stored inside himself somewhere but didn’t want to subject the experiment to watching him pull them out.**

**“Here ya go. Take a breather.”**

**–**

As soon as he realized they were being offered, CS-1 snatched the candies up and held them in his hands.

“Don’t crush them,” Gaster said quickly. “They’ll dissolve. You don’t have to crush them.”

CS-1 nodded his understanding and happily began popping several candies in his mouth at once.

Gaster looked over at his double, having been quiet for the whole time the lesson had been going on, observing and storing the tricks away for a later date. After all, his double clearly had a lot more experience with kids than Gaster did. “Thanks for helping out.”

Even while he was busy taking his breather, CS-1 kept his eyes up and watched them.

–

**“It’s no problem.” Gaster said with a grin. “It’s actually kinda nice being around-”**

**He stopped himself, unsure if it was wise to call CS-1 a ‘little Sans’ in front of him. Young or not, he knew so far every Sans he had come across was insanely smart and quick to learn, picking up on every little thing. Even now the experiment was watching them, undoubtedly learning everything he could.**

**“-well, you know. Kids. It’s been a long time.” He finally said.**

**–**

Gaster nodded, glad his double had refrained from using that name for CS-1. It wasn’t–he didn’t want to equate the tired but fully-independent adult with the experiment in front of him. He’d start wondering what it’d have been like had CS-1 the luxury of determining his own life. Which. Wasn’t exactly likely. Better to not give people those sorts of ideas, regrets. He didn’t want to make the kid miserable, after all.

“Yeah, I understand. You’re welcome to keep coming by as long as you’re here.”

–

**He turned his attention back to CS-1 and signed; _‘Would you like it if I came to visit sometimes?’_**

**_–_ **

In answer, CS-1 tapped his chin, thinking deeply, before saying, _Give me more candy and I’ll decide._

–

**Gaster blinked and looked a little surprised, then laughed. “No you little shit, decide now. Candy is for when you work hard.” He signed along with it, although his voice was still kind.**

**–**

CS-1 still wilted a bit at that. …. _okay….._

Gaster turned to his twin and shook his head in a mock judgemental manner.

–

**“No sulking.” Gaster said, “You’ll get plenty of candy when I come by to help you. But here.”**

**He held out a few more pieces of candy. “Just because I’m a sucker.”**

**–**

CS-1 brightened and took them. _You can come back_ , he signed as he ate.

“He’s going to be vicious one day,” Gaster said, shaking his head again. “Understands ‘no,’ just very selective about when he listens.”

Despite himself, he sounded affectionate as he said it.

–

**“Oh of course I can.” Gaster rolled his eyes.**

**He caught onto his twin’s tone of voice, but chose to ignore it for their sake. He, vaguely, knew what he was going through right now and didn’t want to push him in one direction or another, not unless it was clearly for CS-1’s benefit.**

**There were so many things he wanted to say but refrained himself. ‘He’s as much of a little shit as Sans was’ and ‘someday you’re going to grow out of that cute little face to manipulate people with’, but he stopped himself. They would just confuse CS-1 and he didn’t want that.**

**After a moment he moved his hand up a little, but paused and turned his attention back to his other self.**

**“Do you mind if I, uh, take a peek at his…” He thought for how to say it. “… ‘information’?”**

**–**

Gaster nodded. “Sure.”

He got up rather than using telekinesis, picking up the board clipped near the end of CS-1’s bed and handing it over to his double. “Anything in there I can elaborate on if necessary.”

–

**Gaster blinked and suddenly looked a little embarrassed. “Oh. Not what I meant, but yeah this will do. I meant the window thing I do. You’ve seen that, right?”**

**Nevertheless he took the clipboard and looked it over to see just how frail this version of Sans was and, maybe, what they planned to do with him without outright having to ask.**

**–**

“Oh,” Gaster said. “Yes, I have…”

It would take some getting used to, remembering all the differences when there were already so many all the time at once.

“If you want to, I suppose that’s fine? Could I see as well, though?” Curiosity was going to get the better of him one of these days, but for today, he just really wanted to get a look at that window.

The clipboard was largely basic status and medical information, without an indication of his purpose–only that he was the prototype of PERSEVERANCE, a project explicitly commissioned by the King. In the medical files were various reports on power level, physical strength, control, and HP, all of which were abysmal. The newest report was from the day before, when a broken rib…. apparently almost caused CS-1 to crumble into dust before emergency first aid and healing magic was administered.

–

**“Sure.” Gaster said before waving his hand, the window popping up just in front of his face. He touched the corner of it and dragged it away a little so his double could better see it, but made sure it stayed trained on CS-1.**

**It really only made sense it you could read a mix of code and binary. It was… strange to look at and occasionally it flickered or changed only to shoot back to its original state.**

**“If it makes no sense I can read it to you.”**

**In the meantime he mulled over the reports, wincing at the idea that a simple fall had nearly killed the poor kid. Sans had never been that fragile. What a terrible state to be in.**

**“Is the King… King Asgore?” He asked.**

**–**

Gaster looked over the window. He could manage binary well enough, but the code was a bit beyond him. If he’d had a week or so and source material to study, he might’ve managed it, but as it was, he could only pick out bits and pieces. “Reading it may be best…. I can wait.”

While his double read over the report, he moved closer to CS-1, signing to him to let him check over the rib that had broken the day before and make sure there were no new weak points developing. He looked up at his double’s question. “Hm? Yes.”

–

**“Hm.” Gaster mumbled to himself, wondering just how similar his King and this King were. Things were already pretty different if _he_ wasn’t the royal scientist.**

**“I guess this project is all hush-hush? Do you know anything about it?”**

**–**

Gaster looked at him oddly. “…I wouldn’t be his handler if I didn’t? Why?”

–

**He raised what would be his brow. “Well… you’re just his handler is what I’m getting at. Not to insult you or anything of course. But you’re not the head of the operation either.” Gaster stopped and looked at CS-1 before moving the window over to his face again.**

**“I’m probably just being paranoid because of obvious reasons. It’s weird though, I don’t know what your King is like. Mine probably wouldn’t have wanted me to do anything even remotely like this. Hell, he wouldn’t even let me experiment on monsters who had already fallen down.”**

**–**

Gaster snorted. “I doubt the King knows. He has good intentions, but… doesn’t think things through fully. He gives the labs a task with a goal in mind, and then trusts us to find a way to achieve it. The only reason this project’s lasted as long as it has is that it’s… actually  potentially viable. My superiors don’t want to give up on it yet. Asgore probably won’t hear much of a report until it’s either discarded or completed. Right now, CS-1 is the only prototype. As his handler and main overseer, they have to tell me a good amount about what I’m even supposed to be preparing and looking for. If there’s anything else, then they’re a bit fucked without my input.”

CS-1 shifted around a bit, watching them. He hissed again.

–

**“No, yeah, now that’s sounding a bit more like my Asgore.” He said with a slight roll of his eyes. He handed the clipboard back to his double before his attention went to CS-1.**

**“Yeah kiddo?”**

**–**

_s_ , CS-1 said.

Gaster looked over as well, and his face fell. “…he signs that sometimes. I haven’t been able to figure out what it means, yet. I’m hoping as his vocabulary expands, it’ll… be explained somehow.

–

**Gaster straightened up a bit and did away with his window for now. Now he was curious. ‘S?’ He signed back, then repeated it. ‘S. Or s?’**

**He hoped this would maybe narrow it down to determine whether he meant it as a question or a statement.**

**–**

_s._ CS-1 said. It was a statement. He looked a little nervous, as though not very sure about what to do now that he had attention on the ‘s.’

–

**The doctor tapped his foot and then looked around, trying to see if CS-1’s eyes would go to anything in particular when he said ‘s’.**

**‘S?’ He signed again, paying close attention to what he was looking at or glancing to, if anything at all.**

**–**

CS-1 followed his gaze, but didn’t land on anything in particular. Instead, he mimicked back… _….s?_ No longer fully sure what he was being asked to do.

–

**“Hm.” Gaster mumbled to himself, leaning back in his chair. _‘… Stand?’_ He signed, then did a few more s-words, waiting to see if any were given the affirmative. _‘Stop? Someone? Safe?’_**

**_–_ **

CS-1 frowned, shaking his head as Gaster began guessing words. _No. ‘s.’ ‘s.’ ‘S.’_ until fianlly, ‘ _S!’_

and he slumped back down on the bed, making a frustrated sound through his teeth.

“…perhaps we should move to something else…” Gaster said, watching the two. He also wanted to figure out what exactly CS-1 meant by ‘s’, but he wasn’t sure if CS-1 would be able to say anything useful if he got too frustrated.

–

**Gaster sighed, “Yeah you’re right. Sorry, kiddo.” He apologized, although it was slightly directed at his double too. He had a habit of getting really into something he wanted to figure out.**

**After a moment he leaned back and crossed his arms, flicking a wrist to open the window again and do what he had planned from the start, reading CS-1’s data.**

**It would have the usual things he already knew from the clipboard; date of creation, HP, any of the injuries he had faced from his creation up until this point that had been significant.**

**It would also give him an idea of who he had relationships with and who had been in contact with over the past weeks, although that information was pretty bare and usually didn’t lead to much.**

**–**

_CS-1, you’re doing well. Don’t worry_ , Gaster said, before producing another bag of chisps from his pocket. He opened them up and handed them over. _Don’t eat too quick, okay?_

CS-1 sat up and took the bag before curling up on his bed again, munching and watching the pair, already a bit more calm than he had been a bit before.

“So, your window? What’s it say?”

Most of CS-1’s injuries consisted of magical battering, a lot of it from his own magic running out of his control in high emotional states; the broken rib was the only significant physical injury. Though he’d interacted with Gaster more than anyone over the last few weeks, there were other names on the list, usually interns or lab workers, Ursama, Serptrine, and several other names.

–

**“Only a little more than your clipboard, but I’m… just more comfortable reading it than actual text.” He said, moving it over a little so his twin could see even if he couldn’t read it very well.**

**“Creation date, HP, past injuries that are significant. Poor kid hurts himself looks like.”**

**Gaster pointed to each bit of information as he came to it.**

**“A list of all the people he’s interacted with over the past few weeks. Looks like you and that asshat who’s got your royal scientist title, among others.”**

**‘Serptrine’ was the only name he had heard before, so the rest were irrelevant to him.**

**–**

“When the fuck did–nevermind. He probably came in with Ursama at some point,” Gaster said, groaning.

“And… yeah. He feels hurt, he tries to stop whatever it is that hurts, and… ends up attacking it, except it’s just himself, so. It’s a bit of a mess sometimes.”

–

**Halfway into his double’s words Gaster seemed to space out and suddenly realize something. He quickly reached inside himself, pulling out a notepad and pen without any regard to whether or not CS-1 saw. He quickly turned to a blank page and thrust them over to his counterpart.**

**“Draw what Serptrine looks like.”**

**–**

“Uh…” Gaster said, taking them both, before shakily sketching out the image of a massive snake in a tank of water. He had developed some skill with drawing over the course of designing his blasters. He’d be better with a ruler of any sort, but his sketch wasn’t bad. Recognizable, at least. “…here?”

–

**Gaster took the notepad and looked at it only for a second before holding it over to CS-1 and signing ‘s’.**

**–**

CS-1 signed “S!!!!”

–

**He slowly looked over to his double, but didn’t look happy.**

**Gaster looked back at CS-1 and signed; _‘Good? Bad?’_**

**_–_ **

CS-1 glanced between the two, looking nervous, his eyes wide, before signing a hesitant, _…bad?_

Gaster was numb in his seat, watching what was occurring right in front of him.

–

**Gaster took a moment to collect himself, sighing and rubbing at his face. He knew it. He knew Sans never really got a very good life, one way or the other. All this time his hope was that this ‘better’ version of himself would sort of make up for it, but… yeah. Fuck.**

**Eventually he signed, ‘ _Does he hurt you?’_**

**_–_ **

Hesitantly, again, CS-1 shook his head and signed, _no._

–

**Gaster sighed in relief. That was good at least.**

**… Well, as long as CS-1 was telling the truth. He didn’t see why the kid would lie, but… he was a kid, so it wasn’t out of the question. Nevertheless he tried to push that thought out of his mind and continue forward.**

**_‘Is he mean to you?’_ **

**_–_ **

CS-1 looked back and forth again, apparently unsure how to answer. He eventually wobbled his hand in a ‘kind of?? but not really?’ sort of gesture.

But that was still not a ‘no.’

Gaster was trying hard to stay still. Or. He was frozen, and worried if he moved at all, he wouldn’t be able to stop himself from charging out and doing something stupid. Not with CS-1 openly admitting in front of him something he’d been unable to communicate for months.

–

**Gaster let out a long groan and rubbed at his face with both of his hands, then suddenly realized something and pulled out the rest of the candy from himself and handed it to CS-1.**

**_‘Good job. I’m proud of you for telling us this.’_ **

**_–_ **

His permanent grin perked up just a little more, and his eyes brightened. He leaned forward and took the candy, signing a quick _thank you!_ before starting to nibble at it more slowly than before.

Gaster looked down at his hands. “…well. Time to burn the lab down.”

–

**“Yep.” Gaster said, grinning broader than would have been comfortable just to convey how utterly and completely pissed he was.**

**He gave CS-1 a few moments before signing; _‘Don’t tell anyone else about this, okay?’_**

**Then, he added, _‘… Is there anything you can tell us about what he does to you?’_**

**_–_ **

CS-1 gave the alternate Gaster a flat look before signing, _Can’t speak._

Despite himself, Gaster laughed. It was a bit weak and not at all appropriate to the situation, but it got some of the tension out of his shoulders before he’d have to load them down again with whatever was about to be said. “…sorry.”

CS-1 huffed at him, before looking back to the alternate Gaster and trying to think of how to explain. _… Magic practice. Not supposed to do it unless told to_.

–

**Gaster narrowed his eyes and signed, _‘You little shit.’_ It was in good fun though, and he would have laughed along with his double had he not been so pissed that he had been _right_. He was always fucking right.**

**Sometimes he hated it.**

**“That…” Gaster began, but silenced himself and went back to signing. He didn’t want anyone to overhear a word they were talking about. _‘That sounds pretty dangerous with how fragile you are.’_**

**_–_ **

_I’ve got magic_ , CS-1 said, _A lot. I’m good!!_

Gaster took a deep breath and looked over at his double briefly. _Yeah, you’re good. You’re doing what you’re supposed to right now. Is this magic something that you can show us without actually doing it all the way?_

CS-1 shrugged, _Maybe?_

–

**_‘Oh I believe that.’_ ** **Gaster said, having to refrain from tapping the scar along his skull.**

**He looked between CS-1 and his twin. _‘Think we should see?’_**

**Despite this obviously being Sans the magic in this world already seemed different enough for him to let his counterpart make the calls.**

**–**

Gaster thought a moment, and nodded. _This room was designed to hold and contain powerful magic. There’s an observation deck we can be safe behind, so CS-1 doesn’t have to worry about that. If anything goes wrong, I’ll be right there to help. And I want to know exactly what changes they’ve been trying to make to his… his training._

As he signed, his already frowning face twisted into something a little more violent, though it was still very repressed. He turned back to CS-1. _If I tell you to show us, will you_?

CS-1 nodded slowly. Gaster was the main person he took information from. He’d defer.

–

**Gaster inhaled deeply through his mouth and then sighed, putting his head in his hands for a moment before standing up. _‘Alright. Give me that transmitter I gave you, too.’_**

**This was definitely something he wanted to let the boys in on.**

**–**

Gaster nodded, taking the transmitter out of his pocket and handing it over. _The observation deck’s just that way, through that door. I’m going to talk CS-1 through what’s going to happen, you can head on over_.

–

**Gaster paused, _‘You gonna be alright?’_**

**It had multiple meanings behind it. If anyone knew how he was probably feeling right now, it was him.**

**Thankfully though, or perhaps not, he had witnessed thousands of his sons deaths. Sadly after awhile you kind of… get used to it.**

**But this wasn’t a death. This was preventable. Like hell if he was going to stand by and let all this happen and he knew his double wouldn’t either.**

**–**

_Me?_ Gaster said, looking back at his twin, a bit surprised. He let out a short, harsh laugh. _I’m always fine. Go on, I’m just going to set things up here. It’ll all be fine._

He hadn’t witnessed thousands of deaths, but the Gaster of this world–had his own ideas of things. And the way you lived and tried to let live. And even if affection was a bias he’d rather avoid, that didn’t mean he had any intention of leaving CS-1 when there was anything he could do to help. But he needed to know first. And find out what, exactly, they wanted him to do.

–

**The doctor gave him a curt nod in understanding before walking out the door and into the observation deck, already holding the transmitter to his head.**

**“Boys, there’s a small problem.”**

**–**

Gaster sat down beside CS-1 on his bed. _This might be scary or difficult. But you remember when you first woke up and were hurting yourself? I’ll be right in that room, same as I was then. If anything goes wrong, I’ll be right there to help. If you can do it this time, I’ll be able to stop S from bothering you again._

CS-1’s eyes lit up and he nodded in understanding, lifting his hands to sign excitedly.

–

**“UHH… THAT’S NOT GOOD. WHAT’S WRONG?” Papyrus said through the line.**

**“i bet it has to do with the other sans.”**

**“Bingo.” Gaster said flatly.**

**There was a sigh, “it’s always the other sans.”**

**“… I’M SORRY, BROTHER.” Papyrus said, his voice transmitting through even though he was stood right beside him.**

**“eh.”**

**“Anyway, not sure what’s going on yet. The dipshit who’s got my title is bothering him. Not hurting him, but maybe being… mean? I dunno, it’s hard to tell. We’re gonna figure something out, but this sort of dampens my desire to get out of here fast.”**

**“YES OF COURSE! WE SHOULD HELP HIM!”**

**“We will.”**

**–**

After a bit more reassurance and explaining how the room wouldn’t be damaged by magic, but to make sure he kept whatever he was doing far from himself, Gaster was up and heading back to the observation deck, waiting to see if his twin was done with his conversation before trying to step in.

–

**Gaster motioned for his double to come on in and set the receiver inside himself again, although was sure to just put it into his chest rather than his head, just for his… own sake.**

**–**

Gaster appreciated it. Still. Once the receiver was away, he turned to his double and made sure the observation deck was secure, just in case. “Ready?”

–

**“Shoot.” Gaster said, then waited and watched.**

**–**

It was a pretty poor choice of words on his double’s part, because as soon as Gaster gave the word to CS-1 to began, a large, malformed Gaster blaster appeared in the room. Dripping with determination and hardly holding together its shape. Its horns slid down the back of its skull and the bottom jaw opened, only to fall off and splatter to the floor as it gathered up the energy for an attack.

The Blaster didn’t so much shoot, as self-destruct.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> whoo hoo HTBAB spoilers!

**The doctor stared for a moment, his arms at his sides.**

 

“ **Well shit.” He looked at the other Gaster to determine his reaction. This wasn’t his world or his Sans, so he wasn’t entirely sure if that was something… normal.**  
  


**–-**

 

Gaster did his best to not vomit.

 

They stole his blasters.

 

They tried to steal his fucking blasters.  
  


The expression on his face was cold and merciless, but whether it was concern for CS-1 being taught such complicated magic at such an unstable age or if it were watching his precious creation so badly warped, it might have been hard to tell.  
  


–  
  


**He watched his double, trying to read his expression. It gave him enough of an idea to know what he was thinking.  
  
**

“ **So when are we blowing up the lab?” He asked, trying to ease some of the tension by being a smartass.**  
  


**–**   
  


Gaster took a few deep breaths through his nose and slowly unclenched his hands. _Can’t blow up the lab. Too many important things inside. May commit murder, though. Will try hard not to._  
  


A few moments later, he managed to relax enough to speak again. “…I’ll need somewhere to put him. Apartment won’t work with your Sans there, I’m guessing.”

 

–  
  


“ **Don’t let me be the thing stopping you from murder.” Gaster held up his hands, as though the thought offended him.**  
  


“ **Sans has seen other Sanses before, so if you’re worried about him, don’t be.”**

 

**–**

 

Gaster looked at his double a moment, a brief discomfort flashes through his eyes, but quickly looked forward again. “…I’m still not comfortable having them close together for too long. I’ll figure something out. There… are a few options. I’ll figure them out. I should try to see who might’ve been helping Serptrine. Something. But I just have to get him away from here until then.

 

–  
  


“ **Fair enough.” Gaster shrugged, “I can tell you who’s been around him the past week or so, remember.” He said, then inhaled sharply.**  
  


“ **If you need us to do anything, just ask. I’m willing to bend over backwards to help another version of my kid.”**  
  


**–**

 

Gaster laughed a moment again, “Don’t say that, I might take advantage of you.”

 

–  
  


**He smiled and shrugged, “We’ve already determined you’re the nicer Gaster. I don’t think you could take advantage of me if you tried. But you’re welcome to.”**   
  


**–**

 

“Nicer Gaster,” he said, shaking his head. “It’s a concentrated effort, trust me. Maybe ‘less obvious Gaster.’ Maybe.”  
  


He looked out through the window again, looking at CS-1, who had flopped back on the bed again. “…for right now though, I’m going to go check on the–subject.”  
  


–

 

**Gaster nodded, “Want me to stay here? Want me to fuck off and help my boys for awhile to give you some space to figure shit out?”**   
  


**–**   
  


Gaster considered. “…the second one. I’m sure they’ll want to know what’s going on, anyway.”

 

–  
  


**He nodded, “You want the transmitter or do you just wanna come get us if you need us?”**   
  


**–**   
  


“It depends on where you’ll be pulling it out of this time, I think,” Gaster said, grinning faintly.  
  


–  
  


“ **I fuckin’ told you not to look, dumbass.” Gaster smirked, pulling the transmitter from his chest before handing it over.**  
  


**–**   
  


“Did you honestly expect me to listen!?” Gaster took it, wiped it off out of habit, and pocketed it again.  
  


–  
  


**He laughed, “Nah.”**   
  


**Noticing him wipe at it though, he scoffed in mock anger. “It doesn’t** _**come off me** _ **.”**   
  


**–**   
  


Gaster scoffed back, “It’s hard to tell!”  
  


He huffed again and rolled his eyes, rubbing the more scarred half of his face. “Seriously. Get to your kids. I’ll be fine here. CS-1 will be too. We’ll figure something out.”  
  


**–**   
  


**Gaster just wiggled his arms about in an ‘okay jeeze’ gesture.**   
  


“ **Call me if you need anything.” He said, turning and taking a step forward to rip open one point in space to the next, ending up on the other side where his sons were working on repairs.**  
  


**–**   
  


Gaster returned to the room with CS-1, setting back down on the bed, and pulled the kid into a hug.  
  


–  
  


**While his doppelganger and CS-1 shared a tender moment, Gaster and his boys huddled about, the doctor eager to fill them both in on what happened.**   
  


**He told them of the state of this timeline’s Sans and how the current royal scientist was pushing him to make blasters, about how fragile the poor thing was and how they planned to get him out… somehow.**   
  


**Both Sans and Papyrus were, obviously, 100% on-board.**   
  


**For now though, they continued work on repairs. Until the other Gaster made a plan on what to do (this was his timeline, after all), they would continue with their own.**   
  


**–**   
  


Gaster called his double a few hours later, confident there would be no one around on the other end besides his alternate and the two other skeletons.  
  


“I have somewhere else you all can stay while I care for CS-1. It has room to store your machine, if you’re able to move it there.” His voice was flat and unemotive.  
  


–  
  


**There was muffled speech just like before, Sans relaying what his father was saying into his own device.**   
  


“ **how far is it from here?”**  
  


**–**   
  


“A fair distance. Within the Capitol.” He told them the rough distance it was, not entirely sure himself of the exact number, but able to make an educated guess. It was closer than the docks were, in any case. Closer than his apartment.  
  


–  
  


**There was a small groan from what sounded like his double.**   
  


“ **he says that’s fine.” The smile in Sans’ voice was audible.  
  
**

**–**   
  


Gaster considered that a moment. “Tell him I’m sorry? For whatever that’s worth. Can he do it, though?”  
  


–  
  


**More talking.**   
  


“ **no yeah he can do it. he’ll just be… blobby for a day.”**  
  


**–**   
  


“Is he all right with that?” If he wasn’t Gaster would–probably have to find a way to change his mind. How that would work, he wasn’t sure. Maybe threatening the machine. That would be a bad idea. He shouldn’t do that. “Once it’s there, he wouldn’t have to teleport either of you to get close to it again. And less sneaking around.”  
  


–  
  


**For a moment it sounded like his twin said something along the lines of ‘tell him I’m not a pussy’, but his son kindly reworded it.**   
  


“ **he’s fine with it, really. don’t worry about it.”**  
  


**–**   
  


“Is he always this whiny?” Gaster said, “Seriously. Tell him to calm down. I’m not questioning his toughness. I just don’t want his goopy blood on my hands if he decides to dissolve out of exhaustion or something. I’m not putting it past him to do something like that.”  
  


–  
  


**There was a loud ‘WHAT’.**   
  


“ **he gets whiney when he knows he has to go without legs for awhile.”**  
  


**Followed by ‘fuck you both’.**   
  


**–**   
  


“What a babybones.” Gaster said, borrowing the phrase he’d heard the others use. “How do I give you instructions for where to teleport? Should I just bring him there and show him?”  
  


–  
  


**The sound of Papyrus laughing at his father came through next, followed by Sans shh-ing them both so he could talk.**   
  


“ **taking him there or giving him coordinates is the only way, really.”**  
  


**–**   
  


“All right,” Gaster said. “Tell him to come to my apartment, then. We’re going on a walk. He can make use of his legs while they last.”  
  


–  
  


“ **you got it, boss.” Sans said before the line went quiet.**  
  


**A moment later and Gaster was stepping away from the lab and into his double’s apartment.**   
  


**–**   
  


Gaster turned around, nodding to welcome his double when he came in. In the few hours he’d been out of contact, he’d smuggled CS-1 into his apartment, and the experiment now sat in the back room, swaddled in blankets between piles of paper, and dozing. No one who came in would be able to notice him without looking, and the room itself was secure. There were snacks and a cellphone with Gaster’s number as the only one in it. He’d given CS-1 a rundown of how to contact him in case of an emergency.  
  


Not being exhausted while thinking up his exit strategy and having some solid knowledge of the situation really made things go a lot smoother than they might’ve gone.  
  


“Ready?” He ushered his double towards the door, ready to go.  
  


–  
  


“ **Ready as I’ll ever be.” Gaster said, eager to follow and get this over with. He hated losing his limbs after taking so long to regain them, but… well, things didn’t always go to plan.**  
  


**–**   
  


Gaster told him he’d probably regret offering to help. Oh well. If he wasn’t objecting, he was committed. He lead him out of the apartment block, talking as he went. “It’s the oldtown district. It’s been in ruins for about a decade, now. Not many people… like going down there anymore.”  
  


–  
  


“ **A ghetto?” He asked, although his definition probably wasn’t quite as… well, racist as the current one.**  
  


**–**   
  


Gaster shook his head. “A ruin. An earthquake destroyed it about a decade ago. …Not many people got out. It’s been abandoned since. Too much going on for a concentrated clean-up effort, and crowding isn’t quite bad enough yet for people to be pushed back there. It’ll probably be the last place to go.”  
  


–  
  


“ **Huh.” Gaster said, mostly to himself. “I don’t recall us ever getting an earthquake. Plenty of floods though.”**  
  


**–**   
  


“Ugh,” Gaster said, shuddering a bit. “I’m glad we don’t get many floods, if nothing else. ..But, no. They… they happen occasionally. There’s not much we can do about them, underground.”  
  


–  
  


“ **Yeah I wouldn’t think so.” He frowned, feeling a little bad for the citizens. From what little he knew they were so more worse off right now than his were.**  
  


… **Well, maybe. At least if you didn’t count right after being sealed away.**  
  


**–**   
  


Gaster nodded. As they walked, the buildings of the capitol gradually dropped away from around them, revealing the distant rubble of what had once been several large city blocks.  
  


“…no earthquakes. So. You ever seen anything like this?”  
  


–  
  


“ **In the underground? No.”**  
  


**The surface was a different story entirely. Nevertheless, it didn’t seem to shock him at all.**   
  


**–**   
  


Gaster nodded, reading that response for what it was. He made his way into the rubble, tracing the old streets easily, as if he knew them well, despite his claim few people came down here. Still, he was right–after a few minutes, he summoned up his Blasters, since the darkness was growing thicker and thicker farther away from the city.  
  


Finally, he came to a relatively large clearing. A few of the lower buildings had managed to not be crushed entirely, and the street in front of one of them was relatively free of large rubble. He took a moment to levitate what was there out of the way, scattering some dust in the process. “Will this work?”  
  


–  
  


**Gaster looked around, “If it’s as forgotten as it looks, then yeah.” He offered his double a smile.**   
  


**–**   
  


Gaster responded with a frailer one of his own. “Good. Yeah. It’s.. pretty well forgotten, by now. You need anything else before you try to go?”  
  


–  
  


**Gaster inhaled deeply and looked around, as though the place reminded him of something. “Nah, I’m good.”**   
  


**He took a moment to try and gear himself up for what he knew was going to be a day without legs. A day with barely any arms.  
**   
**It sucked.**

**–**

Gaster saw his double look around, and… took a deep breath as well. “You’ve got this expression on your face. You don’t have to answer, but… you have seen something like this before, then?”

–

**There was a pause, Gaster turning away from his double to look at the destruction. “… Yeah.” He finally said before summoning a glowing blue bone in his hand and holding it up like a glow-stick, just to see a little bit more in front of him.**

**“… Humans were the first to invent canons.” He said, that being enough to get quite the picture on where he had seen this sort of chaos before.**

–

Gaster’s eyes flickered over to his double, before flickering back away. Uncomfortable. He didn’t want to do this, but… when else was he going to get this sort of opportunity again? Even if an alternate universe. Basic things were still clearly the same. “…can you tell me about the war?”

**–**

**“What about it?” He said, not sounding all that distraught over the subject. It had been a long time ago, after all. Before his twin could elaborate on his question, he continued anyway.**

**“Skeletons are powerful. We were mostly mages. I got drafted.” Gaster spun the bone around in his hand idly. “I wanted to be a doctor.” He looked at his counterpart again, a sort of sad smile on his features.**

**“Look how well that panned out.” A bitter laugh left his throat.**

**–**

Gaster looked back at him. He couldn’t quite bring himself to smile back. He looked away.

“…in my world, monsters killed the skeletons after we were sealed.”

–

**Gaster took a long pause.**

**“… What?” He raised where his brow would be. “Why?”**

**–**

“I don’t know how it is in your world,” Gaster said, “But… here, it’s mostly long buried history, so I’ve been safe. But after the barrier was sealed… fighting continued. We hit a dark age. By the time the records start again, skeletons aren’t mentioned. I’ve… I’ve got a few notes from one survivor. He says it’s because of how skeletons are made. A… determined human, whose remains are left in a place saturated with magic.”

He couldn’t look at his double as he spoke, but waited quietly for his reaction. Not really sure what he was expecting.

–

**Gaster was… quiet.**

**His expression was rather hard to read, possibly a mix of shock and revulsion. After what felt like a good, solid minute, he suddenly rippled and shook his head. “Phew. Wow. Glad I don’t have a stomach right now.”**

**He spun the bone in his hands, the color fading and turning white. He kicked up a pebble and swung the bone, sending the tiny fragment sailing through the air.**

**It was a gesture just to give his body something to do. A distraction.**

**–**

Gaster sighed and sat down on the street, rubbing his face. “…sorry. I shouldn’t have brought it up. You don’t need to deal with that shit. It’s not your world to worry about. No one really remembers at all. They hardly knew what I was when I turned up. It’s.. it’s not a danger anymore.”

He wondered if his alternate had connected yet. That Gaster and CS-1 were the last ones left at all.

–

**“Don’t be sorry.” Gaster said, this time levitating a rock up to do the same thing, swinging his bone and hitting the debris into the distance. He wondered if talking about this was somehow cathartic for his double and… that was okay.**

**Maybe they could both get something out of this.**

**“Pretty sure the boys and I are the only ones left in our world.” He said, unknowingly reading his doppelganger’s thoughts. “Mages are physically weak. Most of them were killed before we were sealed underground. Honestly sometimes I wonder how the hell I survived. But then I remember-” He stopped to look at the other Gaster and tapped the side of his head.**

**“-I’m me.” A grin spread across his smooth face.**

**“Humans invented canons.” He continued, “I fucking perfected them.”**

**–**

Despite himself, Gaster laughed and grinned along with his double. “I fucking believe you. Shit. You’ve done… so much. It’s a little hard to even wrap my head around.”

He shook his head, still grinning a bit. “Think being fucked up runs in Gasters just as much as being fucking nerds?”

–

**“I’ve just lived longer is all.” He said, then laughed. “Definitely.”**

**There was a pause.**

**“Want to see** **my** **blasters?”**

**–**

Gaster’s eyes lit up. “Fuck yes.”

–

**“I had to make them in the lab, they aren’t a part of me like they seem to be with you. But I could be wrong, I don’t know how yours work. But-” He dispersed the bone in his hand, “-Mine have a single purpose. They’re loud and meant to just… fucking kill shit. So be prepared.”**

**He looked around for a suitably empty direction and then summoned one of his blasters, a giant skull many times his size with glowing purple eyes. It’s lower jaw opened as a mix of purple and white light gathered at the base of it’s mouth before dropping further and splitting in the middle. With a pop and a thunderous blast, a beam shot out and kept on going until colliding with the nearest building and sending it into even more ruin than it already had been.**

**After it had fired it fizzled out, fading into a sprinkle of spent purple magic.**

**–**

Gaster stared at the enormous blaster, watching it closely, studying the differences between it and his own largest blaster–and there were. A lot of differences. He could see how his had startled the others when they first appeared, but for him, the differences were great enough that the blaster didn’t bother him very much at all. nothing like watching CS-1’s melting blaster had.

It was only one the building began to crumble that he had a negative reaction, flinching back and bringing a few bones up to cover his head. They never came close to the other Gaster and never aimed to attack, simply protect. A moment later, when the dust from the blast began to clear, he came back to himself and was able to relax.

“…wow. That’s. That’s a lot more… firepower than mine have, definitely.”

–

**“Sorry, probably should have aimed at something else.”**

**He felt a little bad about startling… himself, but he had said it would be loud and destructive.**

**“It’s what they were made for, nothing else.”**

**Gaster took a moment before speaking again, “That’s… kinda why I reacted how I did after what you told me. I’m pretty fucking xenophobic.” He admitted, “Humans have been nothing but-” He stopped himself, “-okay not** **nothing** **but, but** **mostly** **out to kill me.”**

**–**

“It’s fine, I’m just. Crumbling buildings, you know,” he said, dismissing the bones entirely and relaxing a bit more. And then the rest of what the other Gaster said… happened.

“…At least I’m a dead human, right?” he said, trying to lighten things a little with the same self-deprecating humor that had helped him survive his childhood after realizing exactly what he was–the remnants of the very thing the underground hated above all else. “Best kind, yeah?”

–

**“Hell yeah.” He laughed and kicked at a pebble.** **  
** **  
** **“Sorry. I’m sure that was pretty shit to find out.”**

**–**

Gaster nodded. “Yeah. It was. Something.”

He looked down again, watching his other self’s feet. “…I started being hopeful, you know. When Chara fell. Maybe we weren’t all evil. Maybe we didn’t have to be, if there was at least one good human. And when they died, I–” he laughed, and choked on it. “…I did. Actually. Stab myself in the face when I heard the news. It just didn’t go all the way through like I hoped it would. And then I finally pulled myself together and figured I could at least help other monsters even if I wasn’t really a monster, and now you’re telling me Chara’s literally the most evil thing in the world, and–”

He took a deep breath and stopped talking entirely.

Sorry, he signed.

–

**“It isn’t Chara. Not really.” He said, suddenly looking and sounding rather serious. “Chara was a messed up kid, but they were just a kid. They don’t have a soul of their own anymore so they hunt for another that they can steal.”**

**“There are… good humans.” The words sounded strained. “Frisk, the kid that eventually frees the monsters and breaks the barrier, is… a good kid. I can’t be around them since I spent what was probably a couple fucking millenia killing them over and over again while they were possessed by what used to be Chara, but-” He shrugged, as though all of that wasn’t a big deal.**

**“… but they’re a good kid. My boys like them a lot.”**

**–**

Gaster looked up at his double. “…look, if you don’t believe it, you don’t have to tell me it. I’m you, somewhat. I get it. Seriously. …I don’t blame you for however much you’re disgusted right now.”

–

**“No, I’m not fucking with you.” Gaster said honestly, “And disgusted isn’t the right word. On edge? I guess?”**

**“Humans don’t disgust me. They…” He stopped and laughed at himself, feeling rather pathetic for what he was about to say.**

**“… They fucking scare the shit out of me.”**

**–**

…Gaster didn’t know what he could say to that. He wanted to give his double some sort of comfort, but he couldn’t decide on words, and getting any physically closer after this sort of conversation was clearly not going to help, but still. He’d lived most of his life in some amount of terror, waiting for Asgore or Gerson, or one of the old, old monsters to finally be fed up with his existence and not let anyone else in their way, but– the kind of terror his twin was talking about. That sounded like the kind of fear Gaster could maybe imagine when it came to being crushed, but–a millennia worth of it, piled up, year after year, little hell after little hell?

“…I don’t blame you. Fuck. It sounds like you’d be stupid to not be terrified.”

–

**Gaster rocked a little on his heels and wished he still had pockets to shove his hands into, but that would just be shoving his hands inside himself and that was… weird.**

**“Yep. Good ol’ shell-shock.” He smiled, despite everything.**

**“As terrible as what you went through sounds, I’m still…” The doctor paused and looked over through the rubble. “… Well. I’m glad you’re young.” He let out a breathy laugh. “Maybe I can at least help save one version of myself. Somehow.”**

**–**

“Hah,” Gaster said, glad to see his double smile, even in this sort of situation. Maybe things would be fine. “Sorry. I think you ran into the one iteration of you determined to die. I appreciate the help in the meantime, though.”

–

**“Honestly I think every iteration is like that.” He laughed, “We’re a very risky, dumb, brilliant asshole.”**

**“The multiverse is stacked against us Gasters. We gotta stick together.”**

**–**

“If I ever turn into goop, I’ll track you down and we can literally stick together,” he said, grinning up at his twin.

“…I have one more kinda personal question, though, if you’re fine with that?”

–

**Gaster shuddered, “Lets hope it never comes to that. Not having any legs sucks, trust me. But, go on.”**

**–**

“I believe you.” Gaster said, nodding and marking that down as another sore spot. “…you mentioned your mother used to terrify people. Do you… since skeletons in your world are apparently different, do you remember your… I guess, biological parents?”

–

**“Hm? Oh yeah. Just a pair of average skeletons. Farmers, which was odd for us.” He looked at his double.**

**“Adopted?”**

**–**

Gaster nodded. “Got pulled out of the dump by the cleaners. Sent me to two activists to see if they could find me someone to take care of me. Ended up adopted by them.”

He grinned. “I’m a skeleton raised by an eldrtich snail and a dragon. Is that fucking rad or what?”

As he spoke, he summoned his largest and most common Blaster, a dragon skull, and gave it a pat.

–

**Gaster laughed and eyed the blaster. It was nice being able to inspect one without it going off in your face.**

**“More interesting than my parents, that’s for sure.”**

**After a moment something occurred to him. “You know… I guess I’m technically not a monster anymore either.” He suddenly realized, having known this all the while but just now sort of connected the dots. “Just a monster soul with two holes drilled into it glued together by… void.”**

**–**

“…yeah, okay, you win the ‘fucking weird’ contest,” he said, almost admiring. “… Honestly. Fuck it. Let’s start our own category. There are now three species, Humans, Monsters, and Gasters. It’ll make things so much simpler.”

–

**“Fuck yeah. I’m making myself two trophys when I get home.” He grinned, which only got wider at the thought of a ‘Gaster’ category.**

**“Yes!” He said enthusiastically. “Let’s do it. From now on, every Gaster I run into I’m just going to assume is some fucking mess of a creature who has no label.”**

**He looked proud about that.**

**–**

Gaster laughed. “Let’s make introduction cards. Just. Fucking go to other timelines and meet a Gaster, hand them a card. ‘I’m a freak. You’re a freak. Join the freak club. Free drinks.’ It’ll be a hit. Only entry requirements are being a Gaster freak of nature.”

–

**Gaster clapped, although it sounded odd when you had two holes out of your palms. “Brilliant. I’m doing that when I get back home.”**

–

“Are your kids going to be upset they’re not allowed in our super secret club?” Gaster said, mostly joking. He knew CS-1 would probably be upset, but, well, the kid was a baby. Not much he could do.

 

–  
  


“ **Papyrus might be, Sans won’t care.” He chuckled, then realized they had been talking for quite awhile and the boys were still at the lab.**  
  


“ **I should… probably go get them.”**  
  


**–**   
  


Gaster realized it about the same time his twin did. “Ah. Yeah. Of course. Sorry, I didn’t mean to keep you so long. Will you be alright with the teleport?”  
  


–  
  


“ **Not really.” Gaster laughed, then waved it off. “No, I’ll be fine. I’ll just… probably have to crash at your place for a day or two, if that’s alright.”**  
  


**–**   
  


Gaster nodded. “That’ll be fine. I think CS-1 will like having you around. Actually, he might like having someone who has trouble walking in general. Might make him feel all right about it, a bit.”  
  


–  
  


“ **Yeah, that’s a good way to see it.” He smirked, “I won’t be able to talk much either. Well… I will, but you know how that sounds. We’ll have a lot in common.” Gaster chuckled, then inhaled. He knew he was stalling himself.**  
  


“ **Okay… gonna bring the boys back first, one at a time.”**  
  


**One foot went in front of the other, a rip opening up and staying open this time, a second later Gaster walking out with Papyrus.**   
  


**–**   
  


Gaster watched, keeping his distance from the portal. When Papyrus stepped out, he gave the tall skeleton a small wave and a smile. Despite their previous conversation, he was looking… a lot happier and more at ease than he had previous times when Papyrus had seen him.

 

–  
  


“ **HELLO AGAIN!” Papyrus smiled and waved back, then turned and watched as his father stepped in and then out with Sans.**  
  


**Afterward Gaster lingered, “Papy, you’ll have to carry me back to his place after this.”**   
  


“ **OKAY.”**  
  


**The doctor vanished, this time the portal closing behind him. After a few moments the area in front of them overhead ripped open and the time machine abruptly fell out of the sky, landing with a loud thud on the ground below.**   
  


**He stumbled out of the portal around the top, sliding down the side of the machine and steadily losing more and more of his form. By the time he hit the ground he collapsed to his knees, which… were quickly becoming something that wasn’t knees anymore.**   
  


“ **Sh ..̸.̢it..͜. fu͏c̵k̕.͠..“ Gaster grumbled, quickly melting into even more of a blob than his double had seen him previously.**  
  


**Sans winced.**   
  


**–**   
  


Gaster couldn’t help but stare, watching his double melt into the ground. Fuck. His double had agreed to it, but still–it had been Gaster’s idea that got him into this state, all the same. He felt sort of helpless, watching his other self dissolve, just… waiting for one of his kids to make a move.  
  


They knew a lot more about this than he did, right now.  
  


–  
  


**Without missing a beat Papyrus handed the bag to his brother and then approached the pile on the ground that was his father.**   
  


**He scooped him up, the strange black ooze curling around his arm and shoulders to try and keep a grip on him. Gaster lacked any sort of real arms now, his hands just sort of… floating on top of himself with much less detail than before.**   
  


“ **I HOPE NO ONE GETS… YOU KNOW…” Papyrus said, not wanting anyone to see them walking home.**  
  


**Gaster’s mostly amorphous face still managed a frown. "R͠u.̨.̴.͏ ̢d̵e̵..̕."͝**   
  


“ **SORRY.”**  
  


**–**   
  


Gaster grinned a bit. At least, even while he was basically a large blob, his double still had his humor.  
  


“There’s plenty of deserted streets between here and my apartment. No need to worry. No one will see.”  
  


He turned to Sans a moment later. “This area’s largely abandoned. It’s stable now, but there was an Earthquake years ago. No one should be coming around, so you’ll be on your own for the most part. It should give you enough privacy to work on that whenever you need to.”  
  


He turned back to Papyrus, waiting for a sign that he was ready to go.  
  


–  
  


“ **sounds good.” Sans said, turning back to the machine before climbing inside.**  
  


“ **DON’T YOU DARE NAP WHILE I’M GONE!” Papyrus yelled back to his brother as he began to walk, his father cradled in his arms.**  
  


**"I ̕hop͜e.̛.͠. ̧t̕h͜ȩ k҉i̵d͟… isn'̧t.͞.. too.̧.. s̶ca̶re̴d ̨o̢f me.̛.̶.” Gaster finally said, his voice sounding a little bit sad at the idea.**   
  


**–**

 

Gaster looked back at his counterpart as they walked, a small frown on his face. “I’m sure he’ll be fine. He liked you before. I’ll make sure he knows you’re the same person.”  
  


He glanced up at Papyrus as well, hesitating a moment before continuing. “He may be a little startled by you, Papyrus…he’s just not used to people being very loud or enthusiastic, yet.”  
  


–  
  


**“I ͢st̵ill have͠.͜..͏ ̸t̷he ch̕i͡sps.̶.. ͢a̧t ̕least̶…̡” Gaster said, “But̸ ͟I̕’ll.̕..͡ re͢fr͟ain.̛..̨ fro̧m t̕alk͝i̵ng͝..͘.͢"͠**   
  


“ **I’LL TRY TO CONTAIN MYSELF, AS MUCH AS I’M EAGER TO MEET A BABYBONES VERSION OF MY BROTHER.” Papyrus said, having to try and fight back a smile at the whole thought. Sans had always been older. This was the first time he would ever see his brother as younger than himself.**  
  


**–**   
  


They were nearing his apartment, keeping to empty backstreets as they went. Gaster had yet again summoned a blaster for light. He was not really used to doing this much sneaking around, but at least the skulls were getting a workout.  
  


“He’ll appreciate it, I think,” Gaster said. “Still. He is very fragile, just so you know.”  
  


His apartment was in view and he started leading them up the steps once more.  
  


–  
  


“ **SEEMS LIKE THAT’S THE SAME THEN, AT LEAST.”**  
  


**"You ̧don'҉t havę ̴to..̛. w̧o͢r̶ry̨ a̶b͝o͠u͠t..͝.҉ Pąp.̷ H̢e’s.͠.. ͜m̶o͞re ͟ge҉nt͏le ̨than͜… ͘a͢l͠l of u̡s.̧” Gaster said as he was carried up the stairs, his son making sure he stepped over the tripwire if it was still there.**   
  


**–**   
  


It was indeed still there. Gaster would try to talk to his neighbor about putting pranks in the hallway. “All right.”  
  


He made more noise than usual while coming into his apartment, hoping if CS-1 was awake, he’d hear. “CS-1, it’s me. There’s some other people with me, okay?”  
  


He let Papyrus in and closed the door behind them before heading towards the closed-off sideroom and opening it up to check on his child version of Sans, who was certainly awake, and still curled in a few blankets.  
  


–  
  


**Gaster switched to signals, not wanting his strange voice to startle CS-1.**   
  


‘ _ **Set me down by the couch, I can just hang out there for a few days.’**_ **He said, Papyrus doing just that, gingerly setting his rather blobular father on the floor and making sure he had the wall to slump against so he didn’t collapse in on himself too much.**  
  


**Papyrus hovered for a moment, looking over to see if he could spot the tiny version of his brother, but didn’t want to linger if it scared him.**   
  


**–**   
  


CS-1 wasn’t paying much attention to Papyrus, though he was visible from the doorway. He was definitely smaller than Sans, and was signing clumsily to Gaster, asking again what was going on and what would be happening next.

While Gaster explained they were having someone else also stay in the apartment with him a while, he did happen to glance over and spot Papyrus. Unsure of the familiar figure but figuring he probably wasn’t dangerous, CS-1 just shrunk a little more into his blankets and gave a small wave.  
  


–

**Papyrus smile happily back and returned the wave, but didn’t want to stick around. Getting used to seeing his father as he was would possibly be shocking enough, so he took his leave. He made a very sloppy ‘help Sans’ gesture that was butched beyond belief, then stood up and left to leave everyone to their own devices.**

**He would have to make sure Sans wasn’t sleeping this whole time anyway.**

**Gaster watched his double talk to CS-1, but for now tried to stay still until things could be explained. He knew his movements were just as odd as his voice, so pretending to be a piece of furniture might have been the best thing to do for now.**

**–**

Gaster kept signing to CS-1, asking if he remembered the person who’d understood what ‘S’ meant and tried to help him with words.

_He’s not feeling very well right now. You remember what you felt like after using too much magic?_

CS-1 nodded.

 _He’s feeling like that right now, and he looks pretty weird. So he’s going to stay with us until he feels better. He’ll still be able to talk with you, though_. Through gesture, but hey. Best way to talk.

CS-1 nodded again, and signed a little belatedly, _Come out now?_

 _..sure thing. Remember. He looks weird._ Gaster leaned over and scooped CS-1 up a moment later, carrying the kid out to meet his newly-goopy spacetime twin.

–

**Gaster waited until his twin was carrying CS-1 out into the room to start moving, although slowly. He didn’t want to suddenly jerk to life and startle him even more than he was going to.**

**His dark eye sockets tried to manifest some light, thinking maybe that would help a little, but failed. The doctor cursed a little inwardly to himself and just tried to… condense a little.**

**Fucking. Ugh. This sucked.**

**–**

CS-1’s eyes widened when he saw the other Gaster on the couch. He tapped his own Gaster’s shoulders, asking over and over if he was _really sure_ this was the same person from only a few hours earlier.

“Yeah, I’m serious. Don’t be rude.”

 _Chisps,_ CS-1 said immediately. _Now._

Gaster groaned. Was the kid actually thinking about food right now? He glanced at his double apologetically. He was already getting used to seeing the more melted form.

–

‘ _ **It’s okay.’**_ **Gaster signed. He had pulled the chisps out of himself before his double had walked in, the bag sitting beside him. He reached over as best he could, what little ‘arm’ he had dripping only for the strange goo to abruptly switch directions and go back into him, as though it refused to obey the laws of gravity, or was magnetized to him.**

**He jingled the bag a little and pushed it away from himself so the other could hand it to him in his sted.**

‘ _ **I know I look scary.’**_ **He signed,** ‘ _ **I’m sorry. I don’t feel very good.’**_

_**–** _

Gaster took the chisps from his double, handing the bag to CS-1, who began immediately signing to be set down on the couch, rather than responding to the other Gaster’s sentence beyond a quick nod.

Gaster looked at his double. “…are you all right with that?”

–

**Gaster nodded.**

**–**

Gaster set CS-1 down next to his double on the couch, making sure there was space between them.

Only for CS-1 to completely ignore that and scoot closer to the drippy Gaster. With some difficulty, he opened the bag of chisps himself, pulled out one, and crushed it in his hand before offering it up to the other Gaster.

 _Helps feel better_ , CS-1 signed onehanded, grinning up at him.

-  
 **  
The doctor looked rather surprised, or as surprised as his mostly neutral face could manage. He didn’t really need food to feel better, usually all he needed was time, but… well, it was a very sweet gesture.**

**He reached out and took the crumbs as best he could, then made a show of taking them to his mouth and ‘eating’ them, although really he just sort of… shoved them inside himself.**

**Once he was finished he smiled as best he could,** ‘ _ **Thank you.’**_

  
_**–** _

  
CS-1 smiled back, quite pleased with himself. _yes welcome._

Gaster watched, shaking his head but smiling all the same. _Is there anything I can get you to help out, or are you two comfortable as you are?_

  
–

‘ _ **This is fine.’**_ **He said, his gestures slow and not nearly as erratic as they had once been.** ‘ _ **Although if we’re to keep Pap and Sans away from CS-1, they’ll probably need somewhere to stay.’**_

‘ _ **It doesn’t have to be nice. We’ve camped out before plenty of times. Maybe just a few blankets or something and they can sleep in the machine while they work.’**_

_**–** _

Gaster nodded. _I’ll get them what I can, if you’ll just watch over CS-1 while I’m out. ….will Papyrus have been able to find his way back without getting lost?_

CS-1 watched as they talked.

–

‘ _ **Oh yeah, he’ll remember how to get there no problem.’**_ **Gaster said, then turned to CS-1.** ‘ _ **Are you okay if I watch you for awhile?’**_

_**–** _

CS-1 nodded and gave a thumbs up. _Watch you too._

–

 **Gaster smiled as much as he was able again.** ‘ _ **Good lad.’**_

**He then gave a thumbs up to his double.**

**–**

Gaster shook his head at them both but smiled. _I’ll be back soon, then. Try to rest up._

He headed back to pick up what pillows and blankets he had before heading out once more.

Once he was gone, CS-1 turned to Gaster again and said, _Keep…….. and ….. away from me?_

–

 **Gaster looked slightly confused.** ‘ _ **You mean ‘s’?’**_

_**–** _

CS-1 shook his head. He wasn’t entirely sure how to spell the names this Gaster had used, and speaking was out of the question, so he tried to think of how to explain. _…one is the one who left before Gaster?_

–

**Realization hit him.**

‘ _ **Oh!’**_ **He signed, then went quiet for a moment to try and think.** ‘ _ **One is loud and might scare you. The other is…’**_

**Shit, what should he say?**

‘ _ **… si-mi-lar to you.’**_ **He eventually signed, his motions janky.**

**Shit. Probably shouldn’t have said that. He wasn’t very good at bullshitting on the spot when it came to looking at an alternate version of his son. He had a hard enough time lying to them now, but this? It was Sans as a baby for fucks sake.**

**Kinda.**

‘ _ **Both are very nice, but they’re busy.’**_ **He added.**

**–**

CS-1 was definitely curious. Not at all suspicious, but insanely curious. _I don’t get scared!!_ he said, then, _similar??_

–

**Motherfuckershitpiss.**

**Gaster screamed at himself internally.**

**His hands lifted to sign, but fell down again. Fuck. He had really messed this up. His double was going to kill him.**

**He was going to fucking kill himself.**

**Hah. That was funny.**

‘ _ **… You look the same.’**_ **The doctor finally spat out. It was all he could think of.**

**–**

_!!! I wanna see!!!_ CS-1 said, grinning widely.

–

**AAAAAAAHHHHHH SHIT.**

**Gaster slapped his own face, the sound like two wet towels hitting one another.**

**Fuck. FUCK. Okay.**

**He tried to think of how many ways to say ‘i’m so fucking sorry’ with his hands.**

‘ _ **D-…’**_ **He began, but stopped and tried to think of something else. His body rippled with anxiety.**

‘ _ **You’ll have to ask Gaster for permission.’**_

**NO THAT WAS WORSE. Oh god.**

**–**

…. CS-1 nodded in understanding. _Okay. Will do._

He’d just have to not nap before Gaster got back. Hopefully he wouldn’t take as long as he usually did when he left CS-1 on his own.

–

**Gaster just sat there, his blank eyes staring off in front of him while and sound of his own screaming looped again and again inside of his skull.**

**Holy shit.**

**Holy. Shit.**

**It had been way too long since he had been a parent to a child.**

**–**

While waiting for his Gaster to return, CS-1 shifted around, getting more comfortable on the couch. He shuffled a little closer to the other Gaster, and leaned a bit against what remained of his frame.

–

**His own internal screaming stopped, Gaster looking over at the much more frail version of his eldest son.**

**He couldn’t stop himself from smiling and tentatively reached up to playfully rub CS-1’s skull, just to see how he reacted to being touched affectionately.**

**–**

CS-1 looked startled at the touch on his skull, jumping a bit and staring up at Gaster with wide eyes. Then, tentatively, he leaned into the touch a bit.

He didn’t seem like he was used to physical affection much. Still. It was nice.

–

‘ _ **Sorry, didn’t mean to spook you.’**_ **Gaster signed,** ‘ _ **I won’t hurt you.’**_

**He paused and just… couldn’t help himself. This was like too much of a reminder to all the things he fucked up when raising Sans.**

‘ _ **Do you want a hug?’**_

**He doubted CS-1 even knew what that was.**   
**  
–**

Sure enough, CS-1 cocked his head to the side, confused. _What is_ , he then very carefully mimicked what he could manage of _hug_ and added _??_ _Can you eat it?_

–

 **Gaster’s shoulders bounced a little in a silent chuckle.** ‘ _ **No.’**_

**Very slowly he reached around CS-1 and pulled him a little close, his cold and goopy arm holding him gently against his side.**

' _ **This is a hug.’**_


	5. Chapter 5

CS-1 couldn’t sign very well while in the other’s arms, with his hands by his side, but he nodded all the same, and relaxed into the hold.

…this was nice.

He curled closer into the other Gaster, suddenly in a weird sort of pain and somehow certain that maybe if he was hugged just a little bit tighter, it would feel better. He shut his eyes tightly and buried his face, not minding the strange consistency of the other’s form. He just really, really wanted… something like this.

–

**Gaster gave him a very gentle squeeze, unable to put much pressure on him without his own arm just sort of… conforming around CS-1’s body. Lifting, pushing, or doing anything of the sort were impossible when he lacked any solidity.**

**His other hand reached up, petting CS-1 on the head again.**

**–**

Relaxing more into the hold, CS-1 closed his eyes and just tried to enjoy whatever this situation was. Now that he knew the word, maybe he could ask his Gaster for this more often…?

But for now, he just relaxed against the goop man, slowly dozing off in his hold.

–

**Gaster would sit there, whatever could be said was his arm wrapped around CS-1 and occasionally rubbing his shoulder. He figured the poor kid didn’t get any affection and he wondered if this was going to count against him too, but… well… that part he didn’t give a fuck about.**

**His doppelganger had all the right in the world to kill him for fucking up explaining CS-1’s alternate self, but this was different. He couldn’t just sit beside the poor kid and not comfort him.**

**Maybe he could have one day. Hell he knew he could have at one point, that wasn’t even a question.**

**But now? Nope. He had no ability to resist.**

**–**

CS-1 fell asleep, curled happily in the other Gaster’s embrace.

He didn’t stir even when his world’s Gaster returned, stepping in quietly several hours later after helping the other two skeletons get set up at the dump.

He took one look at CS-1 and his double, raising what would’ve been his eyebrows, and shut the door quietly behind him.

–

**As soon as the other stepped inside, Gaster wasted no time in signing with his free hand.**

**_‘You’re gonna fucking kill me.’_ **

**_–_ **

Gaster’s face went flat. _What the fuck did you do?_

–

**_‘He started asking about the boys.’_ ** **Gaster began, _‘I slipped up and said Sans was similar to him. Now he wants to see him.’_ He winced as the words came out from his hand.**

**_‘If it means anything I’m really, really sorry and I really, really didn’t mean it. I fucking panicked.’_ **

**_–_ **

Gaster stared at him, looking far more irritated than murderous, if that was any consolation. _How the fuck are you **me** when you’re so shit at lying?! _

He sighed. _Fine. If he asks me, I’ll fix this_.

–

**At that, Gaster had a simple answer.**

**_‘Kids. I can’t lie to my kids.’_ **

**_–_ **

_You can’t lie yourself out of thinking of him as your kid??_ Gaster said, incredulous.

–

**_‘Nope.’_ ** **Gaster hung his head slightly, his face drooping. _‘I’ve seen too many different versions. Him being so young doesn’t help.’_**

**_–_ **

Gaster sighed again, shaking his head. _Fine. Just… next time something like this happens, tell him to ask me and I’ll think up something. I can lie to him fine._

He knew that was probably not the best thing to say to his double, who was apparently extremely attached (possibly?) despite having only known the kid a few hours. But damnit, lying was healthy sometimes.

–

**_‘Will do.’_ ** **He signed, looking rather exhausted at the whole situation. He paused before adding,**

**_‘It’s just… well… you remember how Papyrus said we had been apart for so long. Seeing him again reminds me of my mistakes and I get attached very quickly.’_ **

**_‘It’s easy to project my affections.’_ **

**Another pause.**

**_‘Also sorry if he starts asking you for hugs.’_ **

**_–_ **

Gaster was getting tired of sighing so much, but did so again. He needed more sleep before having to deal with much more of this. _Just remember, you’ll still have to leave him eventually._

However attached his double was, CS-1 was _his_ Sans and–aaaand that was a train of thought he was aborting and replacing with purely logical reasons why CS-1 was not going to run around through spacetime, growing up chasing anomalies. It was surprisingly easy to find objections to that.

Then, he snorted. _That’s an odd thing to apologize for. As long as he lets go eventually_.

–

**_‘I know. That shouldn’t be a problem.’_ ** **He said, looking down at the sleeping experiment by his side.**

**Soon his gaze returned to his double.**

**_‘You never did tell me what your plan was. I see you got him out alright. What are you going to do now? Will they come looking for you?’_ **

**A sly smile spread across his deformed face. _‘I can help blow them up if you need.’_**

**The suggestion was only… slightly serious.**

**–**

Gaster shook his head. _I’m not killing monsters. You know why._ he said, not happy about bringing up their earlier conversation again, but having to make his point. _I’m–…still working on exactly what I want to do. If nothing else, I can show him to Mr Dreemurr, and he’ll probably shut down the whole thing. But if they do come after me, that will only make things simpler, since they’re blatantly attacking someone. Nothing more suspicious than that. I’m hoping to open a formal investigation and have the area searched for evidence of abuse. In the meantime, I’ll try to help CS-1 keep learning how to talk, or at least write, so he can testify on his own behalf. My translating for him won’t go very well, after all._

He gave a small, strained smile at that. _…if nothing else, the investigation will bring it to Mr Dreemurr’s attention. No matter what CS-1 is, the King still has a soft spot for things that resemble children. The important part was getting CS-1 away from danger._

_–_

**Gaster nodded in agreement. _‘If your King is anything like mine, he’ll jump at the chance to shut something down that’s experimenting on ‘kids’.’_ He air-quoted the word, knowing that his double and plenty others didn’t see CS-1 that way… yet.**

**_‘I’ll keep teaching him how to talk until I leave. I should be able to choke down all the weirdness in my voice sometime tomorrow at least.’_ **

**_–_ **

_Thanks,_ Gaster said, nodding back. _Do what you have to._

 _…for now, I think we all need to rest._ He said, glancing at CS-1 and stretching a bit.

–

**_‘Agreed.’_ ** **Gaster said, shifting only slightly to get more comfortable. His head rested a little lower on his body and leaned back a bit, eyes partially closing.**

**He knew his boys would be alright sleeping inside the machine for a few nights. It wasn’t like they hadn’t done it before. Or camped outside.**

**Everything would be fine.**

 

**–**

The next morning was strange, because Gaster was all set to get up and go to work, and then he remembered he had a melted puddle of void with his name snuggling an illegally taken experiment on his couch, and going into work would definitely get him arrested unless he figured out how to write up a complaint report, first.

So instead he got up and started working around his house, getting some food together for CS-1 and waiting to see if they would be waking up anytime soon, while he started writing up his report.

–

**His double would have kept sleeping… if it weren’t for the very loud, very familiar voice that came out from somewhere on his ‘person’.**

**“GOOD MORNING DAD!” Papyrus’ cheerful voice rang out. The goop rippled awake, eye sockets shooting open before his face rested in a sort of tired annoyance. One of his hands moved to his head, pressing the button on the side of the device through his body.**

**“̢Ģo͠o̕d mor҉n̵ing P͠ap.̕ ͜Reme̢mber I can͠'t͜ talk͝ much.”**

**–**

At the sudden noise, CS-1 jerked awake and let out a small shriek.  He stilled quickly, staring wide-eyed at the other Gaster when he spoke, not sure what to do or make of the strange sound.

Gaster had jumped a bit as well, startled by his quiet house suddenly being filled with so much noise.

–

**Gaster signed a tired _‘sorry’_ to both of them.**

**“AH YES, RIGHT.”**

**His face made a gesture as if he was rolling his eyes.**

**“I JUST WANTED TO LET YOU KNOW THAT PROGRESS IS GOING WELL AND SO FAR WE HAVEN’T FOUND ANY TRACE OF THE ANOMALY. HOW ARE YOU FEELING?”**

**Before replying he looked at CS-1. _‘I sound very strange, but don’t be afraid.’_**

**His attention went back to the conversation going on inside his head. “Be͟t̡t̡e̢r.͞ I'm͞ ͟go̴i͘ng ̶to sto̴p t̛alking n͞ow, ͜P̕a͘p҉yr̡us.”**

**–**

CS-1 continued to stay very still, but didn’t pull any further from the alternate Gaster than he already had.

Gaster walked over, a mug of tea in hand and small headache building up. “Want to sign and I’ll translate for you, Goopster?”

–

**Papyrus heard the nickname from the other end and couldn’t stop himself from laughing, even though he tried to stifle it. Sans could be heard laughing too, but he made absolutely no move to hide it.**

**Gaster glared up at his alternate, then smiled. _‘Sure… ‘Dings.’_**

**_–_ **

Gaster gave him a flat look. _I’m going to fight you._

“…Oop?” CS-1 said.

–

**Gaster ignored them both, for the moment.**

**“I͏'͠m̧ hangi̴ng̵ u͘p now ̧Pap̸yru͢s̢.” He said, the sound of his son trying to fight through laughter and say ‘OKAY’ barely managing to come through before he pressed the side of his head to shut it off again.**

**_‘Ha-ha.’_ ** **He signed.**

**–**

_Fine, this round is a tie_ , Gaster said, rolling his eyes.

CS-1 looked up between both of them, and then slowly moved back closer to the other Gaster, sitting up a bit to bring a hand up and tap his skull in roughly the same place the other Gaster had tapped to press the device. …. _P?_

–

**Gaster looked at CS-1, _‘Radio.’_ He said, although wasn’t sure if the boy knew what that was. He moved the transmitter somewhere that… wasn’t the side of his head before pulling it out of himself and showing it.**

**–**

CS-1 shook his head, but took the device before it could be pulled away, tapping on it a few times and accidentally activating the mic again. “Ss?”

 _Ah… maybe set that back down_ , Gaster said, trying to move in to intervene.

–

**In his current state Gaster wasn’t able to ever hope of wrestling something from a child, even if they were as weak as CS-1. Hell, he barely had any arms.**

**“uhhh…” Came from the other side of the speaker.**

**–**

“CS-1,” Gaster said. The sound of his designation startled him into attention again. “Give me that.”

Making a whine, CS-1 did as he was told, handing the radio over.

“Thank you.” he said to CS-1, then added a, “Sorry,” towards the microphone before turning it off again.

 _Who???_ CS-1 signed once the mic was off. _How?_

–

**Gaster slowly turned to look at his double. He couldn’t express much how he was right now, but that was definitely a ‘i’m not getting involved with this shit again’ look.**

**–**

Gaster gave his double a withering look, before handing him the radio again and turning back to CS-1. _Do you remember last night how he has others traveling with him?_

CS-1 nodded, glancing back at the radio. _A ‘scary’ one and a similar???? Want to meet them!!_

Gaster shook his head again. _I understand, but that’s not going to happen. They’re too nervous to meet you. The one like you is very, very shy. You’ll have to wait for him to agree before meeting him, and it might be a while. His scary brother doesn’t want to leave him alone for very long. It’s about making them comfortable, don’t worry._

CS-1’s face fell as he absorbed this information.

 _You wouldn’t want to force people to meet  you if they don’t want to, right?_ Gaster prompted. _Having to see people when you don’t want to really sucks._

Finally, CS-1 nodded in agreement.

–

**Gaster took the radio and put it inside himself again, then watched his double lie to the poor kid.**

**He really didn’t approve, but… ugh.**

**All he managed was an annoyed sort of… grumble? Gurgle? It was hard to tell which. Other than that though, he wasn’t going to fight with how the other kept them from meeting.**

**–**

Gaster shot his other self a look at the grumble, as though saying he wouldn’t have to lie to CS-1 like this if his double hadn’t fucked up. If it worked, it worked. He could fine tune things later.

 _Are you going to be okay staying with_ , he hesitated, not totally sure what to call his double that wouldn’t be confusing. Instead, he just gestured towards him _, him again today while I go figure things out at the lab?_

CS-1 nodded his head.

–

**Gaster was fully aware that this was all his fault, so he made no arguments or disagreements other than the little grumble. His attention went back to CS-1.**

**_‘Maybe we can do more talking today if my voice stops being weird, huh? If not we can draw a little bit, or…’_ ** **He thought for a moment. _‘I can tell you some stories.’_**

**_–_ **

CS-1 nodded more enthusiastically, his grin widening a bit at the prospect of more talking.

Gaster snorted, though. _CS-1. Make sure you show him what you like to do with crayons if you draw, okay?_

Just for safety’s sake, though, he picked up all the notes still scattered on the table and moved them a little farther away from the danger zone while CS-1 promised he would definitely show his skills with crayons to the other Gaster.

Then, CS-1 turned back to the goopy Gaster, and tried to mimic the sign he was unfamiliar with. _…st - ries?_

–

**Gaster looked at his twin. _‘Now that sounds fucking ominous.’_**

**He looked to CS-1. _‘Books? Uh…’_**

**Damn, how did you explain what stories were? _‘They’re when you tell… a series of events from start to finish.’_**

**That was shit.**

**–**

CS-1 thought about that for a moment. _….report?_

Gaster added, _a_ _fun, sometimes-lie of a report._

CS-1 looked up at them both. _Lying’s bad._

–

**_‘Yes it is. But it isn’t… quite the same. Less lying and more… using your imagination. Pictures in your brain.’_ ** **Gaster tried to explain.**

**–**

CS-1 nodded uncertainly.

 _Maybe it’ll be better to just show him_ , Gaster said. _I’ll be back later. CS-1 has a phone with my number in it if you need to reach me._

–

**Gaster nodded, but didn’t have any books on his person… unless you counted the tech magazine he kept in there sometimes.**

**Ah well. He’d just wing it.**

**–**

The days passed uneventfully.

Or, uneventfully may have been the wrong word.

An investigation was launched into the PERSEVERANCE project and found several disturbing discrepancies that would take a long while to look through, and for the moment, CS-1 was placed into Gaster’s custody and would live with him in his apartment with the King’s blessing. The anomaly wasn’t detected anywhere nearby, so after several long days of helping the time-traveling family get by in the world, it seemed as if their ship was safe to travel in once more, and it’d be time for them to go.

Gaster… was glad for how things turned out. It was a strange ride, to be sure, and nothing how he’d imagined his week would begin. Over the time they’d spent together, he’d gotten kind of fond of his much older double.

“It’s going to suck for a while without you,” Gaster said, helping his double pick up anything that had been scattered through his apartment during his stay.

–

**“Awww, how sweet.” Gaster said mockingly to his double and tried his best to flutter his eyelids.**

**It was all in good fun though.**

**The days had gone by rather quickly, all things considered for him. A few days were spent stuck inside, mostly teaching CS-1 how to talk or how to be a kid. Coloring, stories, playing with makeshift toys he created from rocks or anything else he found around. If Gaster was good at one thing, and he was good at a lot of things, it was pulling together random shit to make… more random shit.**

**Once he had regained his legs he had helped the boys work, but only when his twin was around to watch CS-1. Otherwise he got to spend the week playing babysitter.**

**It had been rather nice.**

**“Gonna miss you guys, actually.” He said with a smile, the dots of his eyes bouncing between the two of them. “First Gaster. First CS-1.” The doctor refrained from calling him ‘little Sans’.**

**–**

“You complete sap,” Gaster said, shaking his head in mock exasperation.

CS-1 still wasn’t quite able to walk, but he sat on the couch, watching the two. He’d had more fun this last week than he had in his whole life, and while he still trusted his original Gaster for most stability, but the time traveling Gaster had definitely become his favorite person to play with and draw on.

Therefore, it was with incredible sadness that CS-1 lifted his hands and signed, _Miss you too._

–

**Gaster smiled down at CS-1 as he put the last of his things inside himself, mostly some notes he took (because when did he not take notes?) and a few drawings CS-1 had made for him. On paper. Not on his face.**

**“C’mere kiddo.” He said, reaching down to lift the little boy up and give him another hug, being able to squeeze him just a little bit tighter now that he was semi-solid. His arms were still pretty soft and pliable, but at least they didn’t drip.**

**“Stay safe. Protect your… Gaster and Gaster will protect you.” He patted his head.**

**–**

CS-1 hugged back, having been practicing his technique frequently after learning the word. He now gave excellent hugs, even if the person he was hugging sort of molded around his arms more than resisting at all.

He’d also gotten better at making intentional noises with the other Gaster’s help, and made an upset warble of a noise as they hugged.

 _Be safe too_ , he said, hugging tight

Gaster watched them both, feeling.. a little guilty. That what amounted to CS-1’s only friend was being sent away. He felt like he should’ve been able to do something to ease that sort of hurt.

–

**“I will.” Gaster said with a smile. It was a bit of a lie, but that didn’t matter. The line of work he was currently in was… not safe. But it was necessary.**

**He hugged him for a little longer before setting him back down on the couch. “Listen to Gaster and be a good kid, okay?”**

**–**

CS-1 nodded and gave a tentative thumbs up. _….miss you._

–

**Gaster returned the thumbs up. “Miss you too.”**

**After rubbing the boy’s skull one more time he turned and looked at his twin, pulling out a few folded pieces of paper from his chest before handing them over. “Just a little something for you, along with all those notes I gave you.”**

**He started to head for the door.**

**–**

“Thanks…” Gaster looked down at the paper, just before CS-1 clicked loudly, commanding attention again.

 _Hey!!!_ CS-1 said. _hug GSTR._

Gaster blinked at him.

–

**Gaster turned and looked at CS-1, then at his double. His mouth went straight and he suddenly appeared… uncomfortable. Nevertheless he wasn’t about to refuse the wish of a small child he might never see again.**

**He sighed heavily and turned back around, being sure to hug his double… slowly and sort of not really touching him too much. It just had to _look_ like a hug.**

**–**

Gaster caught on quickly, and returned the ‘hug,’ keeping himself a good centimeter away from his twin wherever he could. After a long moment, he began to pull away.

“…I guess that’s it, then.”

–

**“Seems so.” Gaster said, trying to shake off the discomfort of hugging… himself.**

**He turned to leave for a second time. “See ya kids. Maybe I’ll crash through the wall again if I can’t fucking fix this thing.”**

**That was only partially a joke.**

**–**

Gaster snorted. “You’re welcome to come back if that happens. Just. Try to not break anything too important, okay?”

He understood. And had also discovered his twin had a much more powerful affinity to explosions than he had. He just liked dismantling things. His twin blew shit up.

He wondered if it was just a talent of his.

–

**“I’ll try not to. I just can’t say where the damn thing will land is all. You’re, uh… ‘information’ is what drives it here. So… yeah. I’ll work on it.” He smirked and opened the door before stepping out, giving one last wave before closing it behind him.**

**–**

Gaster watched him go, and turned back to look again at the papers he’d been given as a final parting gift.

–

**The papers weren’t some long-winded, heartfelt goodbye. They were… notes written in what looked like great panic.**

**Everything was in wingdings. It detailed a particular part of the time machine and how to build it down to the very last chip, the very last wire. It also explained what the void was and, if his double ever managed to get there, how to manipulate it and perhaps find a way out.**

**At the very top the symbols were large and scratchy, as if written by a man who should be locked up in some sort of institution.**

**_‘THE CHILD CAN SAVE. THE CHILD CAN KILL. DO NOT TRUST IT. WATCH TIMELINE FOR RESETS. RESETS MEANS IT’S CLOSE. PLEASE BUILD THIS AS SOON AS YOU’RE ABLE!!’_ **

**Then smaller, underneath the horrible scratches, was his more normal handwriting, as though it had been added later when he was in more of a calm state of mind.**

**_‘Take care of them.’_ **

**_–_ **

Gaster read the notes carefully, piece by piece, taking it all in.

He took a deep breath, and folded the paper into his pocket.

He and his counterpart had different ideas about humans. He knew that. But he also knew they were similar in one aspect: neither of them would allow harm to come to the things they cared about.

His counterpart could rest assured.  
  
Whatever came through, Gaster wouldn’t ever let it harm his home.


	6. Fear and Loathing pt 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Goop and his sons return to the only other Gaster they've met before

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for how long publishing this took. I was emotionally compromised about posting my MAYEM plot twist after trying so long to reach it in the actual fic - Baseball

**It took about six months or so for Gaster to try and figure out a way around his machine being pulled to his double. This was a problem he… hadn’t really thought would occur and time travel wasn’t exactly something you could look up on the internet to remedy. There was a lot of hit and miss, none of them willing to jump into the machine until they knew it could even make the jump again in the first place.**

**After figuring out a way around and then watching the machine do it’s own jumps here and there, coming back all in one piece, they decided to give it a test run.**

**Just as before the trio climbed inside and buckled in. The doctor watched the screen before punching in the right sequence and then… off they went.**

**All of them held their breath.**

**The machine lurched to the side.**

**“Oh GOD DAM-” Gaster began to yell, but was quickly shut up as the machine crashed into the lab for a second time. He was flung out of his seatbelt for a second time too, slapping into the far wall while his sons dangled from their harnesses.**

**He was not going to start traveling in a fucking container just for this reason. Fuck seatbelts. Fuck being made of the void. Fuck this damn machine.**

**–**

Just because he’d seen the machine crash through his wall before didn’t mean Gaster was anymore prepared to deal with it than he’d been the first time.

It skidded across the room, this time hitting the wall and collapsing about half of it entirely. Once again, he threw up a shield of telekinesis in panic and leapt back, but at the very least, the crash had missed the pressure chamber he’d been trying to work on.

Once the dust settled and rubble stopped falling from the damaged wall, he stepped forward again, getting a closer look at the machine. And.

…well. He’d be lying if he didn’t say he wasn’t glad to see it was familiar, at least. Even if it was going to be a complete hell-raising, it’d be nice to see familiar faces.

He waited for someone to emerge, hoping the crash hadn’t hurt anyone.

–

**The handle began to turn, then stopped and yelling could be heard from the other side. After a few tries it finally pushed open. A very frustrated looking Gaster stood on the other side, his sons behind him.**

**Still, he was glad to see a familiar face too.**

**“Hi.” He said as flatly as possible.**

**–**

Gaster laughed at him. “Hey, fucking Genius, welcome back. You missed me that much?”

Even though he was smiling up at trio, it was very clear that he hadn’t been doing much actual smiling lately. His clothes were more rumpled than usual, as though he hadn’t even put effort into keeping them somewhat presentable, with new scuffs and tatter marks all over. The crack along his skull had widened, a whole chunk taken out of it, and the ‘circles’ under his eyes were larger than ever.

–

**“My machine did, apparently.”**

**“HELLO!” Papyrus said cheerily, waving from behind his father. Sans gave a lazy wave too.**

**Gaster didn’t really look as happy, instantly noticing the larger scar across his head and the overall disheveled appearance of his twin.**

**“… You look like shit.” He said unceremoniously.**

**–**

“I feel like shit, thanks for noticing,” he replied, wincing a bit at Papyrus’ voice. “…a lot’s happened since you were gone. Your machine okay?”

–

**Gaster looked back at it before motioning for the boys to start doing some checks. They didn’t need all three to do that and his concern was mostly about his doppelganger… and CS-1, wherever he was.**

**As the boys set into motion going over everything his attention turned back.**

**“I assume mostly bad.” He said, then looked around the lab, mostly to make sure they hadn’t wrecked any of his double’s things.**

**–**

“That depends on your perspective,” Gaster said, shrugging, and beginning to sign. Unless Sans or Papyrus came out of the machine and actually looked, the conversation could remain private. Nothing but the wall had been wrecked this time.

–

**He gave his counterpart an odd look. _‘_** **_Care to elaborate?_ ’** **He signed.**

**–**

Gaster glanced back at the machine before focusing back on his double, meeting his eyes. _‘I found Papyrus. That can be taken as good news.’_

–

**The doctor grinned, but it only lasted for a second.** **‘ _Found_.’** **He stated, rather than asked.**

**–**

Gaster nodded. _‘Someone else had him before I did. It’s not good.’_

–

**Gaster tried to keep himself from looking** **too** **angry.** _**‘How is he? How is CS-1?’** _

**–**

_‘Safe, now,_ ’ Gaster said immediately, understanding that same anger intimately by now. ‘ _They’re both at my apartment. I’m. Trying to take care of them. CS-1 and P-1 go by Sans and Papyrus here, now.’_

–

**The doctor inhaled sharply and fought back the desire to say ‘I told you so’. Now was not the time.**

**He rubbed his face a little and glanced back to his sons, watching them go about making a checklist on every dent and misplaced wire inside the machine.**

_**‘Is there anything I can do?’** _

**–**

_‘….I don’t know,’_ Gaster admitted, sighing and rubbing around the newly-widened scar on his head. ‘ _But I’m sure CS-1 would be happy to see you again. And….’_

He glanced back at the machine as well. ‘ _…it might do my Papyrus good to meet your kids_.’

–

**At that suggestion, he looked shocked. His hands raised to sign again, but stopped as though he had a hard time asking what he wanted.**

**‘** _**What did they do to him?’** _

**–**

Gaster took a moment to gather his thoughts, as if trying to simplify the whole situation he’d been living the last few months took a lot of concentration.

 _‘…you remember how I told you CS-1 was the PERSEVERANCE prototype?’_ he signed at length, no longer fully able to look at his double’s face. _‘And how I was upset they started treating him as an advanced weaponry program?’_

 _‘…I was wrong.’_ He hesitated again. _‘CS-1 wasn’t the prototype. He was the control group.’_

_‘They knew I wouldn’t be too hard on him, and wanted to see what a relatively normal monster child would grow to be in the lab.’_

_‘And then they compared that with Papyrus.’_

–

**Gaster watched his double sign, becoming more and more visibly upset as he went on. Eventually a hand went to his mouth, as though it would somehow suppress the desire to vomit.**

**Papyrus. His sweet, gentle, wonderful Papyrus.**

**The doctor closed his eye sockets and took a deep, unsteady breath. He didn’t say anything for a few moments, his hands shaking as they then pressed into his eye sockets and just… stayed there.**

**His head hung and, eventually, he sucked in a sharp breath and looked at his double.**

**‘ _Okay_.’ ** **He signed, his hands shaking. Then again,** **‘ _okay_.’**

**They shook more and he couldn’t stop himself from speaking aloud, his voice shaking. “Okay.”**

**The whites of his eyes darted around the room for another moment before refocusing.**

**‘ _Can_ …’** **He stopped and flexed his hands a few times, trying to get them to sign the words he wanted.** **‘ _Can I go see them now? I want to know what state he’s in before I take the boys.’_**

**–**

Gaster nodded, relaxing a little. Maybe. Maybe this would work out.

 _'Yeah_ ,' he signed. ' _Can you teleport us to my apartment without much trouble? It’ll be the fastest way to go.'_

–

_**‘Yes. Of course.’** _

**He cleared his throat and gave his cheeks a smack before turning around to look at his sons, appearing completely normal.**

**“We’re gonna head over to his place to check on the kid. You guys keep running the check. We won’t be too long.”**

**There was a collective ‘okay’ before Gaster looked back at his double and offered his hand.**

**–**

Gaster hesitated.

_'…make sure you get us to the hallway outside my apartment. Not inside it. That… that won’t end well.'_

Only then did he give his double his hand.

–

_**‘Won’t be a problem.’** _ **Gaster said, taking his twin’s hand. He stepped forward, a rip opening in space as he lead the other through. Even though you couldn’t see from the other side, as soon as you stepped through it was paper thin and it only took a single step to get to the hall outside of the apartment.**

**The feeling though… it was weird. It was like static almost, as though tiny hands clung to you until you got all the way on the other side.**

**It closed once he was fully through.**

**–**

Gaster shuddered as he passed through the portal, the feeling unsettling him greatly. He was glad when it was over, but still waited for his double to let go of his hand first.

He looked around a moment just to make sure they were where he thought they were before approaching the door to his apartment and giving a knock. As he spoke, he tapped on the door, his version of wingdings mirroring his words as a validation it was really him.

“Sans? It’s me. Are things fine to come in?”

After a few moments there was a voice on the other side of the door.

“yeah. it’s fine.”

“There’s someone else with me. You know him, but Papyrus doesn’t. Just tell him he doesn’t mean any harm, okay?”

“‘kay.”

Slowly, the door opened, and Gaster let his other self in.

Sans stood immediately on the other side of the door, using crutches and leg braces to move, but still moving under his own power. His eyes widened at the sight of the other Gaster.

–

**Gaster couldn’t stop himself from smiling at the sound of Sans’ voice. So the kid had learned to talk. That was good. Small victories were good. That smile remained upon seeing him. He waved and chose to sign for now, just in case Papyrus didn’t like loud noises or new voices.**

_**‘Long time no see, kiddo.’** _

**–**

“goopman!” Sans said, grinning broadly. He walked closer on his crutches, currently unable to really hug, but still getting close enough for it, anyway.

Gaster closed the door behind them and tried to look innocent at the sound of the nickname.

–

**Gaster glared over at his double while he kneeled down and held out his arms, pulling Sans into a hug. While he did that he flipped off the other Gaster, but his frown couldn’t last as he hugged the small child.**

**‘ _Should I stay quiet or will everything be okay?_ ’** **He asked the only other adult in the room.**

**–**

“Things… should be okay,” Gaster said. “…Papyrus doesn’t understand wingdings, so he’ll probably be more comfortable if you speak aloud.”

He turned to look down at his Sans. “…where is Papyrus?”

Sans shifted a bit. “he holed himself up in the back room a bit ago.”

“Has he said anything?”

Sans shook his head, looking a little upset, and pulled away from the alternate Gaster.

–

**“Alright.” Gaster said, standing once he was released from the hug. He tried to keep smiling.**

**“Glad you got your words. Walking is good too.”**

**He rubbed the boy’s head, but his smile couldn’t stay forever.**

**God. What had they done to Papyrus?**

**“… Can I see him?” He looked at his counterpart.**

**–**

Sans looked pleased at the praise, but his face fell as well at the question. Gaster looked down at Sans instead of responding.

Sans shrugged. “…i’ll see if he’s okay with it,” he said before turning and walking towards the back room, his crutches thumping with each step and talking as he went. “paps, bro, i’m comin’ in. you okay in there?”

His voice trailed off as he entered the room.

Gaster glanced sideways at his counterpart. “…Papyrus trusts me well enough, but he’s closer to Sans. They’ve… bonded, some.”

–

**Gaster’s smile kept coming and going. Watching Sans talk to his brother was like watching a home movie. It was surreal. His eyes stayed trained on the door the boy had gone through even as he responded to his double’s words.**

**“Yeah. I know. They’ll be inseparable.”**

**He inhaled deeply and folded his arms before beginning to sign again.** **‘ _Do you know what they did to him exactly?’_**

_**–** _

_'Not exactly_ ,' Gaster said. ' _The scientists involved are being tight-lipped, and if records were kept, we haven’t found their hiding place. They may have been destroyed, but… there’s a lot we can infer. Just by observation.'_

He didn’t like talking about this. He didn’t really like thinking about it at all. But it was what lived with him, in his home, in his new kid, and.. he just hoped his counterpart wouldn’t lose his temper. He was too tired to deal with that. He just didn’t have enough energy to do anything besides try to help the kids and work on the core at the moment. ' _Isolation. Combat experience is what we’re most foggy on, but… he’s. On guard. Often. We think he was told never to speak_.'

Then, after a long moment, he twitched his hands as if debating whether or not to say more. _'And. Well. You’ll see a lot of the rest. I… like I said. CS-1 was the control group. P-1 was the attempt to make a tool.'_

–

**Gaster closed his eye sockets and pressed his knuckles against them as his double spoke. It was clear that he was trying, desperately, to remain calm.**

**But boy was that hard. He had killed for less. This was his boy. Not…** **his** **boy but HIS boy.**

**How. How could anyone do this to someone who he knew was so sweet, so gentle, so kind. Papyrus had been the light of his and Sans’ life ever since his creation. He just didn’t understand.**

**Already he was fighting back the urge to find where the scientist were being held just so he could shove a bone through their eyes.**

_**Don’t. Don’t fucking do that. This is being handled by your double.** **You** **.** **You** **are handling this. He’s less violent than you are. He’s doing the right thing.** _

**After this he was definitely going to need to blow off some steam. He wanted to strangle something. Preferably some** **one.**

**He inhaled and exhaled slowly and pulled his hands away from his eyes.**

**_Push it away. Hide it. Be calm. Be calm for your boys_.**

**–**

Gaster was glad.

He could see the rage bubbling in his counterpart. He could understand. He saw that sort of murderous instinct rise to the surface. And he saw it fade away.

There was a reason he hadn’t mentioned names. Hadn’t mentioned holding areas. Hadn’t mentioned everything by a long shot. Because he’d have to stop his double, and really, he didn’t feel like doing that.

He didn’t feel like doing much of anything anymore.

Even if his double’s mask of calm was thin and cracking, it at least proved he was trying, and that was good enough. That was all he needed. He just hoped he’d hold on once he met Papyrus, for Papyrus’ sake.

Finally, Sans’ voice called out from the back room. “okay you can come in now.”

He looked over at his double and nodded, leading the way.

Inside the room were the two skeletons, Sans sitting beside his brother with his crutches clumsily set aside.

Papyrus was taller than him, but still a child. Small. Thin. Curled up with his legs to his chest in an oversized hoodie, watching the door with eyes like black holes.

He was LV 7.

–

**Gaster did his best to prepare himself, but it still didn’t do much. As he stepped in he had to pause and look away.**

**He grasped the doorframe and swallowed hard.**

**It was a good thing they couldn’t hear his thoughts. Distorted, guttural, primal screaming. There was only a very small thread keeping him grounded. It took every ounce of will he had not to go teleporting all over the place right that second and just start… fucking stabbing people.**

**Then he swallowed and a switch flipped. He turned back to the two kids and smiled.**

**“̢H̢e͜y̢-̶” He said, then quickly stopped himself and cleared his throat. “Hey boys.”**

**–**

The other Gaster may have stopped himself from acting on his rage, but that didn’t mean Papyrus hadn’t seen it. His voice crackling was the last straw.

The kid rolled his legs under him and got into a crouch, throwing one arm protectively in front of Sans and summoning a pair of blasters in one motion. They were large and smooth, gleaming like mother-of-pearl and simplified from Gaster’s own version.

They still looked deadly.

“hey, woah, bro, it’s okay!” Sans said, grabbing onto Papyrus’ arm and holding it tight. “he’s not dangerous, i know him. like i said, remember?”

Gaster stepped in front of his double, careful not to touch him, and made sure to keep himself looking as calm as possible. Papyrus usually used him and Sans as a litmus test to determine what was going on, so if they were both telling him it was okay, he’d calm down soon–usually. Hopefully.

–

**Gaster didn’t really seem to react much. He offered a smile and did his very best to stay calm. Stay happy. Think of his own Papyrus on a bad day. This was just like that. Think of Sans when he had a nightmare.**

**“Sorry. Sorry.” He said, holding up his hands in surrender. “None of that was directed at you or anyone in this room, trust me.”**

**–**

Slowly, Papyrus did seem to relax, the blasters dissolving into the air above him. Still, even as he settled back against the wall and curled back up in his previous position, he watched the new arrival with a careful wariness.

Once the blaster dissolved, Gaster let out a long breath and stepped aside, offering Papyrus a tired smile of his own. “He’s an old friend of mine. He just wanted to meet you and see Sans again, that’s all.”

–

**“I’m a sucker for kids.” Gaster added, “I’ve got two boys. Brothers, just like you two. They’re a lot older though.”**

**–**

Papyrus didn’t react to that very much, but Sans looked up in curiosity. “You do?”

–

**“Yep! One big and one little.” He said, then gave his double a glance as if to say ‘how much are we telling them now?’ Then he went back to addressing the two on the bed.**

**“One is very smart, but lazy and loves to make jokes. The other is very kind and caring. He sees the best out of everyone.”**

**–**

Gaster shrugged and shook his head, as if to say, ‘I don’t even care anymore.’

“Can we–” Sans stopped and looked over at Papyrus, hesitating. “…maybe meet them?”

–

**He gave his twin a very sympathetic look, possibly the most sympathetic he had ever been to someone who wasn’t Sans or Papyrus.**

**After a moment he inhaled sharply and seemed to come to a decision. He hoped it was the right one. He hoped it could help Papyrus. This Papyrus who hadn’t even been able to have a childhood and was already emotionally scarred.**

**“Yeah.” He finally said and smiled. “But I actually want to tell you a little bit about them first, if that’s okay?”**

**–**

Sans nodded, glanced at his brother, and nodded again, apparently able to make out some sort of response on Papyrus’ unmoving face. “yeah. stories about them? can we have snacks, maybe?”

“Has Papyrus eaten today?” Gaster asked.

Sans shook his head. “not since breakfast.”

“I can get something.”

–

**“Yeah.” Gaster said, smiling. While his double was getting them food would be a good time as any, he figured.**

**He took a seat on the floor at an angle where both of them could see him, but didn’t move any closer. He adopted the same position as Papyrus, curled up with his arms around his legs.**

**“Do you remember when I told you once that my son is similar to you?”**

**–**

Sans nodded, leaning against Papyrus’s shoulder as he settled into listen. “yeah.”

–

**“Well, he’s more than just similar. He’s you. We come from another place a bit like this one. I’m Gaster.” He pointed towards where his double had gone off to. “But… to keep things simple, call me Gramps.”**

**It was time to own up to being the old one.**

**–**

Papyrus tilted his head very slightly, but Sans let his confusion show plainly on his face. “okay you’re gonna have to explain that again but way more.”

–

**Gaster laughed, “I will. Okay, so-” He reached into himself very slowly to pull out a notepad and a pen, making sure to keep an eye on Papyrus so he knew he wasn’t doing anything dangerous before opening to a page and beginning to write.**

**“There are many different Gasters, many different Sanses, and many different Papyruses.” He said as he scribbled. “We all live in our own worlds without usually interacting with one another. It’s a bit like… a bubble.”**

**“We all live in our own little bubbles that never touch any other bubbles. Does that make sense?”**

**–**

Papyrus looked to Sans, who considered Gramp’s words a moment, and… nodded, finally. “yeah. i think so. but if they don’t touch, how are you here?”

–

**“Because I’m a dirty cheater.” Gaster said with a grin.**

**“I made a machine that can hop from one bubble to the next. My boys and I, which are other versions of yourselves, travel around to other timelines in search of something.” He turned the notepad around for them to see, which had many little circles drawn on it with the letters ‘G’ ‘S’ and ‘P’ inside them.**

**“Every world has a Gaster, a Sans, and a Papyrus. Sometimes they’re older. Sometimes they’re younger. Sometimes they wear different clothes. I’m from here.” He pointed to one bubble, then drew a line into another. “And I jumped from my home into this one.”**

**He left out the fact that Gasters were a rarity. There was no need to overly complicate things.**

**“My sons are you, but older. Do you still want to meet them? I just want you to be prepared for that.” He looked at Sans, then at Papyrus. “There’s no need to be scared of either of them. They would never hurt another version of themself.”**

**–**

Papyrus reached out and gripped Sans’ wrist. Sans turned and gave a huff. “i don’t think they’d hurt an alternate version of their bro, either, bro. it’ll be fine.”

He turned back to Gaster. “yeah, i wanna meet ‘em.”

Papyrus kept watching Gaster, but bowed his head a little in acquisition.

–

**“Okay. I’m going to stand now.” He said, then did so slowly so as to not spook Papyrus. “My Papyrus is… very loud. Just another warning. He doesn’t mean to be, it’s just how his voice is.”**

**–**

“okay,” Sans said. “cool.”

By then he’d realized their own Gaster was standing by the door again, and grinned at the plate of food he had.

–

**He moved to head past his twin. “I’m going to go explain some things and then bring my boys back here. That alright?”**

**–**

Gaster nodded, “That’ll be fine. Just make sure you teleport into the hall again.”

–

**Gaster nodded and then left, leaving the apartment before teleporting away and back to the lab.**

**Explaining everything was… difficult. Sans was clearly very furious and Papyrus was… sad. Very sad.**

**It took a lot of talking and explaining for them to come up with some sort of approach to all of this, but eventually it happened.**

**Roughly 20 minutes or so later, they teleported outside and into the hall one after the other, then Gaster knocked.**

**“It’s us.”**

**–**

Gaster got up and went to answer the door, leaving both his boys in the back room, a little more mentally prepared to meet their guests.

“Hey, thanks for coming,” he mumbled as he opened the door and let the trio in. He closed and locked the door again once they were all inside. “Are you all ready, or…?”

–

**“as ready as we’ll ever be.” Sans said, sounding less angry and more just… depressed. Papyrus didn’t look happy either for once, but nodded and forced a smile.**

**Gaster turned to them both and used signs just for this one time,** **‘Remember, he’s been through hell. Jumpy. Approach slowly.’**

**He then looked to Gaster, wanting to be sure that his Papyrus was prepared before they went inside.**

**–**

At the look, Gaster nodded, turned, and began to lead them all three to the back room. His Sans and Papyrus were still sitting together, curled on the bed.

He realized a moment later that, Papyrus’ situation aside… it would probably be the first good look they got at his Sans as well; his leg braces were still on and his crutches were leaning beside him. He didn’t know if his twin’s Sans had any similar trouble learning to walk or not.

“Hey,” he said, poking his head inside the door. “This is them, you two.”

Stepping in, he stayed about midway down the wall in the room, about midway between both parties, in a good place to intercept any trouble before it happened and hopefully close enough to reassure his boys if they were at all nervous.

Sans stared wide-eyed at his double, grinning widely, looking him over and taking in every difference he could see between himself and his older double. Papyrus simply curled a little closer to his brother, his dark eyes watching carefully.

–

**Gaster stepped in next and then off to the side before Sans and Papyrus followed in behind him. They had both taken off their lab coats, thinking it was probably best to keep those back with the machine. Neither wanted to provoke any bad memories. Sans wore his trademark jacket and hoodie while Papyrus was in a baggy sweater and pants. Both looked… well, pretty unintimidating.**

**According to their LV, neither had fought a day in their life. Resets were good for that at least.**

**“hey.” Sans said, hands in his pockets.**

**“HELLO.” Papyrus followed suit, his own dark eye sockets looking at his double.**

**What a horrible look on his younger versions face.**

**–**

“hey,” Sans said back, grinning. He looked startled when Papyrus spoke, even though he’d been warned about the loudness. Hearing his silent brother’s double speaking was strange, but–but he liked hearing that voice, and found his grin growing giddy at it.

Papyrus didn’t respond verbally, just inclining his head again to show he was listening. Like this universe’s Gaster, he couldn’t read LV, but–that meant very little to him. He read body language better than stats. And he refocused his insides and slowly began raising his defense.

“so uh,” Sans said, looking back at his older self. “do i grow up to be cool?”

–

**“nope. sorry. you grow up to be a loser.” Sans said, still grinning. “all the coolness goes to your little bro.”**

**“HE’S RIGHT. WE’RE THE COOL ONE.” Papyrus said, smiling down at his double.**

**–**

Papyrus let out a sharp breath through his nose.

Sans looked stricken. “i’m not gonna be a loser!”

–

**“well then you’re gonna have to try real hard, kid.” Sans said, “‘cause i’ve never met a version of myself that was cooler than papyrus. i just don’t think it happens.”**

**–**

Sans seemed to consider this. Then, he turned to his Papyrus. “You’d better be great so I have room to be cool.”

Papyrus definitely snorted this time, and bumped his arm against Sans. It seemed he was finally beginning to relax a bit. Maybe because even though the strangers were strangers, they were still… one of them was his brother, even if his instinct told him to be wary. And the other seemed harmless.

And the one with the high LV was standing farther away. His own Gaster was nearby.

So he relaxed enough to bump his brother a bit, and nod very slightly.

–

**“OH HE’S VERY GREAT!** **WE’RE** **VERY GREAT. THE GREATEST, I THINK!” Papyrus said happily. “I’VE YET TO MEET ANYONE QUITE AS GREAT AS MYSELF THAT WASN’T JUST ANOTHER VERSION OF MYSELF. NYEH-HEH-HEH!”**

**He was playing it up a bit for the child version of himself, even if most of it he did really believe.**

**Gaster was staying far away, knowing that his boys would have better luck than he would.**

**–**

“oh yeah?” the young Sans said, having something of an idea of what they were trying to do, “prove it! tell us a story!”

–

**“HMM…” Papyrus said, rubbing his chin. “WELL…” He ran through a list of stories in his head about his greatness, but realized that some of them had the subject of being a royal guard in them. Fighting probably wasn’t something he should talk about.**

**“i got a story.” Sans finally spoke up. “we can tell ‘em about all the things we did to dad together.”**

**Those were nice and light-hearted, right? Maybe that’s what this Papyrus needed, some nice stories about him being with his brother, the only other person that he seemed to fully trust.**

**“YES, THAT’S GOOD!”**

**“so how many pranks have you pulled on** **your** **gaster?” Sans asked.**

**–**

Sans looked excited at the prospect of those sorts of stories, but frowned at that last question. “he pranks me!”

Gaster looked uncomfortable. “Please don’t give them ideas,” he groaned, even though he would gladly take more pranks if it helped Papyrus.

–

**“oh yeah, the old man got us plenty of times too.” Sans said, then shot the other Gaster a grin. “sorry kidster, this is what you get around another pap ‘n sans. it’s just the way of life.” He shrugged, as though he had absolutely no control over it.**

**“one thing we always liked to do was see how many things we could stack on top of him while he was asleep.” The skeleton grinned, “he didn’t sleep much, so when he did he was out cold. you loved shoving fries into his nose.” Sans nudged his brother.**

**“OH YES! IT ALWAYS WOKE HIM UP THOUGH. THEN EVERYTHING WOULD COME CRASHING DOWN!”**

**Both Gaster and Sans suddenly looked shocked, then looked at one another, but tried to shake it off.**

**–**

Gaster noticed the look, but didn’t comment, now wasn’t the time. Also, he was making sure he always fell asleep with his nose out of range from now on.

“gross!” Sans said, shaking his head and laughing a bit.

–

**“dad always got us back by scaring us though. that’s what he likes to do, jump around corners and startle you. he used to chase us around with a mask on or tape compressed air to things.” Sans continued, “he would repair these little remote-controlled toys and then slip them into our room at night so they’d blast a horn and wake us up. it was really annoying when you want to sleep all the time.” He chuckled, “but we got him back.”**

**“lets see… we put ketchup in his shoes.” Sans said, ticking each thing off on his fingers. “i’d move his stuff around when he wasn’t looking or put things like old food into his coat pockets…”**

**“oh, another good one was we would unscrew the hinges of his glasses so they fell apart.” He smiled broadly.**

**–**

Gaster looked uncomfortable, but didn’t comment.

Papyrus listened, and curled closer into himself, hiding his face while Sans listened.

–

**“THEY’RE BOTH TERRIBLE COOKS THOUGH!” Papyrus began, “I’M THE ONLY ONE OUT OF THE WHOLE FAMILY WHO CAN ACTUALLY COOK A DECENT MEAL. HE NEARLY BURNS THE HOUSE DOWN AND THIS ONE DOESN’T EVEN TRY!”**

**He gestured to Gaster, then Sans.**

**“I’M SURE YOU’LL BE AS GREAT A COOK AS ME SOMEDAY. I THINK EVERY PAPYRUS IS! IT’S IN OUR BONES!”**

**–**

Papyrus did look up again at that, and glanced between his double and his own Sans.

“m sure you can,” Sans said. “maybe dad will teach you some?”

Gaster wanted to point out that it’d just been stated he couldn’t cook, apparently, but let it slide. He turned to look at his other self, wondering if they should slip out and give the two sets of siblings some more privacy.

–

**Gaster met his gaze and was feeling the same thing. Even if the little Papyrus wanted his Gaster to stay, there would be certainly no problems if he left the room. So he did, slipping out while Papyrus continued talking.**

**“I’M ALSO VERY GREAT AT MAKING NEW FRIENDS! MY VERY BEST FRIEND AND I LOVE TO COOK TOGETHER. SHE’S THE ONE THAT TAUGHT ME! MAYBE YOU’LL FIND YOUR OWN COOKING BEST FRIEND ONE DAY!”**

**–**

Very quietly, Gaster summoned a blaster. The smallest one he had. A mouse skull, smaller than even his hand. Quietly, it floated over to hover by Sans’s shoulder, where both boys would be able to see it. If anything went wrong one way or another, the blaster could be used to let Gaster know, or he could move it from the other room to alert Sans and Papyrus to things going wrong. It was a rudimentary system, but it’d helped to calm them before, so he did it again now, and followed his double out.

Sans and Papyrus both saw him go, but Sans continued listening attentively to the other Papyrus’ story. “yeah! you can introduce me to them.”

–

**Papyrus laughed, “UNFORTUNATELY MY BEST FRIEND DOESN’T COME WITH US ON OUR JOURNEYS. THE MACHINE ISN’T BIG ENOUGH EITHER. BUT FOR NOW WE CAN BE YOUR BEST FRIENDS TO MAKE UP FOR IT! I CAN TEACH YOU EVERYTHING I KNOW!”**

**Outside the room Gaster had stood off to the side somewhere that he couldn’t be seen from the doorway looking rather pensive. His shock had been easy enough to hide when he needed to, but now he looked… worried. But a sort of… happy worried?**

**–**

For the first time since they’d arrived, Papyrus lifted his head, and gave a distinct nod.  
  
Hey, Gaster said, coming up to his double and signing. ' _…gonna talk about what’s in your head right now?'_


	7. Fear and Loathing pt 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> wrong order, my bad

**“HMM… THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT THINGS ABOUT ME… I DON’T KNOW WHERE TO BEGIN.” Papyrus rubbed his chin thoughtfully.**

**“cooking, friendship, being great, being awesome, being-”**

**“SANS THOSE ARE ALL BASICALLY THE SAME THING.” He said in annoyance.**

**“but they’re true.” He grinned.**

**“… YES THIS IS CORRECT.” Papyrus narrowed his eyes in thought again.**

**While the ‘kids’ talked in the other room Gaster signed to his double,** **‘ _Papyrus doesn’t remember his childhood. Or… doesn’t usually. He remembered something in there, which… doesn’t usually happen. It was a shock to both Sans and I, but a happy shock. It’s nice to see that it’s possible he might regain his memory someday.’_** **Gaster smiled.**

**–**

Sans huffed, “you repeat yourself a lot,” he said to his older double, clearly wondering about the phrases that sounded almost more like a mantra than anything else.

 _'Oh. Congratulations, I think?'_ Gaster said, not really sure what was appropriate to be said in this case, even though clearly it was a good thing.

–

**“the truth bares repeating.” Sans shrugged, “you’ll know why when you’re older.”**

**_‘Hah. Thanks.’_ ** **Gaster said, then fell silent. He wasn’t sure what to say. He was feeling very bittersweet right now. His Papyrus had never gone through what the other little one had, which was great and amazing and fantastic and he was so happy for that, but…**

**Jesus.**

_**‘I can see why you’re so exhausted.’** _ **He signed. This had been exhausting for him and he had only been here for… what? A few hours?**

**–**

Sans made a face. “whatever,” he said, with the same sort of self-assured dismissal that only preteens were truly capable of.

Papyrus curled a little closer to him, still watching his own double.

Gaster smiled weakly back. _'I’m getting used to it, at least,'_ he signed, before sighing. _'…he’s a lot better than he was. Than he could be. Sans is really helping him. I know it’s hard to see right now, but… I think he can be okay. But I also think maybe seeing a version of himself who’s happy might help him feel like he can be, too.'_

**–**

**The two brothers fell silent for a moment before Papyrus looked at their twins. “CAN I SIT ON THE EDGE OF THE BED WITH YOU?” He asked, uncertain.**

_**‘No, I can imagine how bad it must have been.’** _ **Gaster said before rubbing the space between his eyes.** _**‘Well… we can stick around for awhile, if you need us. Papyrus can watch them, if you need someone to. I can help you with the core. That’s what you’re working on, right?’** _

**He then decided he had probably better explain himself, justify his apparently selflessness.** _**‘I can’t just sit and watch this. I know this isn’t my world and it isn’t my Papyrus, but… I gotta help somehow or it’ll haunt me forever.’** _

**–**

Sans looked over to his own Papyrus and watched his reactions carefully. It seemed more like a wobble or a twitch than anything else, but with how still his Papyrus was sitting, it was definitely noticeable. “he says it’s okay.”

 _'We appreciate it,'_ Gaster said. _'Really. I… I think it’ll help the kids a lot to have someone other than just me around. I just…. can’t bring a lot of people in. It’s hard to trust anymore. If something comes up, head out, but as long as you all stay… I need all the help I can get with this.'_

–

**Papyrus slowly moved towards the edge of the bed and sat down. Sans followed, but stayed standing by his side. It seemed like they were nearly as inseparable as their doppelgangers.**

**“YOU LOVE YOUR BROTHER MORE THAN ANYTHING, DON’T YOU?” He asked with a smile.**

_**‘I getcha.’** _ **Gaster said,** **_‘We don’t have to really worry about staying too long. Not when we’re together. Everything in one place that matters, y’know?’_ ** **He said, and smirked.** _**‘Well. I’m sure you know now.’** _

_**‘Sorry you had to go through this. I guess it’s a running theme that Gasters have a… turbulent life with their sons.’** _

**He paused,** _**‘Are you calling them your sons? Are you dad?’** _

**Gaster wanted to be sure before he continued using those terms.**

**–**

Sans glanced between both Papyruses, unsure of who was being addrssed with that question. “uh…”

Papyrus, on the other hand, answered by curling a bit more defensively around his smaller, frailer brother.

 _'You’re a fucking sap,'_ Gaster said, rolling his eyes. _'And stop being dramatic. We’re freaks of nature, not martyrs. No one’s life is free of turbulence. Fucking shit.'_

And… he took a deep breath before signing the rest. _'No. They’re not my sons. They’re mine. No one else is going to have them, not now, and I don’t think I could stand entrusting them to anyone else, but… I’m no good to be a father. I don’t know. But they’re mine.'_

–

**Papyrus nodded in understanding. “HE’S WEAK AND GETS SICK A LOT?” He asked, although wasn’t sure if that was entirely true for this timeline. Judging by the crutches though, that was at least half true.**

**Sans was partially turned away from them, but his expression didn’t seem to be changing at all.**

**“MY BROTHER IS. THAT’S WHY WE PROTECT THEM, RIGHT?” He looked at his double, his expression sincere.**

**_‘Piss off._ ’** **Gaster said with a smirk,** _**‘Sorry. I worry a lot.’** _

_**‘If you’re anything like me then you’re right. We’re shit fathers. But you’re already starting out better than I did. You weren’t the one who came up with this shit.’** _

**–**

Sans shifted uncomfortably, but didn’t really know what to do with himself at the moment. He kept looking at his double, hoping for some hint of what was going on, while Papyrus listened with rapt attention. He looked a little conflicted at his double’s last question, as if he agreed, but wanted to add more or respond with something else as well.

 _'I’d be worried about you if you didn’t,'_ Gaster replied, rolling his eyes.

_'I don’t have to think this up to be a bad parent. I’m perfectly capable of being a shit in other ways.'_

**–**

**Papyrus gave his double a moment to see if he would do more, but when he didn’t, he continued.**

**“WE DIDN’T… WELL… WE GOT SEPARATED FROM OUR GASTER WHEN WE WERE YOUNG, SO FOR A VERY LONG TIME IT WAS JUST ME AND MY BROTHER.” It was only a small lie. He hated it, but he didn’t remember enough to be honest.**

**“I WAS TOO YOUNG TO REALLY TAKE CARE OF MYSELF, SO HE DID EVERYTHING. HE FOUND ME FOOD AND SHELTER, AND MADE SURE I ALWAYS HAD CLOTHES.”**

**Papyrus wasn’t sure where he was going with this. He just wanted to talk, to tell his other self his story. “WE LIVED ALONE UNTIL WE WERE OLDER, BUT WHEN I GOT OLDER I DECIDED I WOULD BE STRONG FOR MY BROTHER. HE HAD DONE SO MUCH FOR ME I WANTED TO REPAY HIM. I’M SURE YOUR BROTHER IS DOING A LOT FOR YOU RIGHT NOW, EVEN IF IT ISN’T GIVING YOU FOOD OR CLOTHES.”**

**“HE’S YOUR BEST FRIEND. HE’LL ALWAYS BE YOUR BEST FRIEND.”**

**Sans still didn’t say anything, the only movement he made being a little tap of his slipper.**

**_‘Well obviously._ ’ ** **Gaster said, as though ‘being a Gaster’ was enough of a reason to be shit at something, anything… as long as it wasn’t science anyway.**

_**‘So… I guess the best thing to do would be to keep Sans and Papyrus here while we work?’** _

**–**

Papyrus still didn’t say anything. He was putting his full attention on his double, though, listening to each word.

Finally, when Papyrus said those last words–when his older self, intentionally or not, promised Sans wouldn’t leave him, wouldn’t give up on him, wouldn’t grow tired of him–two small, orange pinpricks of tears welled up in the corners of his eyesockets. Nothing more substantial than that, but it was enough.

“h-hey!” Sans said, quickly pulling his brother into a hug. “it’s okay!”

Gaster nodded. _'You’re lucky the kids have been forcing me to get more sleeping equipment and food, I’ll actually be able to provide something decent this time.'_

–

**Papyrus suddenly looked guilty. “DID I… DID I SAY SOMETHING WRONG?”**

**“nah.” Sans finally said, although he didn’t turn around he somehow knew what was going on. Brotherly intuition, perhaps. “you said what needed to be said is all.”**

**Gaster nodded, then suddenly realized something.** **‘ _… Don’t let Papyrus cook. He’s… dangerous when he cooks.’_**

**–**

Papyrus curled into his Sans’ shoulder, shivering. Even if the alternate Sans was scary…. he didn’t feel like he was in danger. Not right now, with the other-him here. So he curled into his brother’s shoulder, and shook, while Sans held him, hugging as best he could, looking a little lost and frightened, but still determined to hug his brother until it got all better.

Gaster raised an eyebrow. _'…all right. How much does your Papyrus care about being rude?'_

–

**Papyrus still looked rather worried until eventually Sans moved around to pat him on the knee. “don’t worry about it, bro. he’s happy is all. right kiddo?” He asked the younger version of his brother.**

_**‘I don’t think the boy could be rude if he tried.’** _

**–**

Papyrus made a slight jerking motion.

“…that means ‘yes,’” the younger Sans said, and though he wasn’t actually certain, he did know it definitely didn’t mean anything bad.

 _'Perfect,'_ Gaster said, _'I’ll just tell him it’s rude for guests to cook.'_

–

**“OH… WELL… ALRIGHT. AS LONG AS THEY’RE HAPPY TEARS.” Papyrus’ smile came back a little.**

**“he’s right though.” Sans spoke up, “if your bro is anything like me, there’s nothin’ he wouldn’t do for ya.”**

_**‘Oh, that’s perfect. He’ll believe that.’** _ **Gaster smirked.**

**–**

Papyrus made another motion that was more identifiable as a nod.

Sans looked at his twin and the older Papyrus a moment, and said, “…maybe you can give him a bit?” hoping for some privacy while his brother had whatever sort of breakdown was oncoming. It wouldn’t have been the first one, and even though they weren’t technically strangers, it was still weird to have others in the room besides Gaster when they happened.

Gaster nodded. _'Good. Wow, though. How did you raise a kid like that?'_

–

**“O-OH, OF COURSE.” Papyrus said, standing up. The two walked out of the room to give them some space just as Gaster signed,**

_**‘No fucking clue.’** _

**As he spotted his sons he looked a little surprised. “Everything alright?”**

**“paps made paps cry.”**

**“I DIDN’T MEAN TO!” Papyrus said, hands going to his face as though he was about to cry himself.**

**–**

_'Is he okay??'_ Gaster asked, looking a bit startled. Papyrus crying could’ve been either a good thing or a bad thing. He hoped it was fine, since the older Sans looked relaxed, but still…

Back in the other room, Sans closed the door with his magic, and let Papyrus break down.

–

**“yeah. happy tears.” Sans said, giving his brother a gentle tap on the shoulder. “paps is good at makin’ people happy.”**

**“I STILL DIDN’T MEAN IT.” Papyrus said, face in his hands. Sans patted his back reassuringly.**

**–**

Gaster relaxed. “It’s fine… he probably needed a good cry.”

He decided distracting Papyrus from his guilt might help. “Since you’ll be staying in my apartment, would you mind helping me set up some air mattresses, Papyrus?”

Because despite the electricity situation still afflicting the underground, sometimes items appeared for plot convenience, the most powerful force of all.

–

**“OF COURSE!” Papyrus said, pulling his head from his hands. “IT’S THE LEAST I COULD DO!”**

**–**

Gaster smiled and lead Papyrus to a trunk in the back of the room, pulling out three uninflated air mattresses. They were hand-pump, and therefore would need a lot of muscle and endurance to blow up. Perfect for Papyrus. “Oh. And since you two aren’t doing anything–there’s food in the fridge, labeled. Heat it up?”

–

**While Papyrus helped carry out the mattresses, Sans and Gaster looked at one another.**

**“i’ll do it. you’ll just end up blowing it up.” Sans walked to the kitchen.**

**Gaster made an outward gesture with his arms as if to say ‘what the fuck?’**

**–**

While Papyrus was busy with the mattresses, Gaster turned to his counterpart and signed, _'One polite kid and one rude kid. How. How did you do it?'_ in mock awe.

–

_**‘Maaaagiiiiccc.’** _ **Gaster signed before wiggling his fingers about like glitter falling from the sky.**

**Papyrus would have no trouble at all pumping up the air mattresses all by himself, not even breaking a sweat. Sans peered into the fridge and began pulling out food to reheat.**

**“you skipping on food while we’re here again?” He asked his father, who nodded.**

**“I see no point in wasting it.”**

**–**

Gaster summoned one of his cat blasters and sent it over to nip his twin for that bullshit answer. He would not regret this course of action.

He tensed a moment at the mention of skipping food. He wanted to skip as well–old habits died hard–but with the amount of stress Sans and Papyrus’ presence had brought him the last few months, he’d probably have fallen apart completely before now if he hadn’t started improving his diet.

He kept quiet.

–

**Gaster didn’t even know what nipped him, but he certainly reacted to it. His fist swung without even thinking to smash whatever it was as quickly as it had touched him out of pure reflex.**

**His eyes went dark, but at the very least he hadn’t summoned any attacks.**

**–**

the blaster had vanished a moment after nipping him, narrowly avoiding being smashed.

Gaster acted as if he weren’t very surprised, and returned to helping Papyrus.

–

**Gaster blinked, the lights of his eyes coming back. His eyes narrowed at his double.**

**“STOP PUNCHING THINGS!” Papyrus chided, to which his father quickly held up his hands.**

**“Sorry. Sorry sorry.”**

**Sans was lazily… slowly… reheating the food, completely ignoring everything going on in the room.**

**–**

It was going to be a fun night, Gaster could already tell.

He and Papyrus finished setting up the sleeping arrangements a while later, finding places for all the beds to fit near the couch. When that was done, Gaster started pulling out plates.

“I’m going to see if my Sans and Papyrus want to eat on their own,” he said.

–

**“OKAY.” Papyrus said, eyes shooting over to his brother as he watched him pull a bottle of ketchup from his jacket.**

**“DON’T. YOU. DARE.”**

**Sans slowly moved it to his mouth, but it was quickly snatched away.**

**“aw.”**

**Gaster had been watching, although he was mostly wondering if he should sleep tonight or just go on a walk. Today had been draining, for sure, but at the same time he really didn’t want to wake up in the same house as little Papyrus looking like old jello.**

**–**

Gaster disappeared into the back room once more, and returned several minutes later. “…Sans will probably be joining us.”

He resumed getting things ready, seeming a bit distracted. Papyrus had stopped crying and worn himself out, apparently. It was understandable that he’d need  little more time before being around others when he’d interacted so little in his life.

–

**“ALRIGHT.” Papyrus said, although he did look a little disappointed that his doppelganger wouldn’t be joining them. “IS HE FEELING BETTER?” He asked, referring to the tiny version of himself.**

**–**

Gaster nodded. “He’s just worn out. It’s been a busy day for him; he’s resting right now.”

–

**He nodded in understanding and continued to help with plates and cutlery as much as he could, eventually shooing a lazy brother out of the way by… simply picking him up by the hood and moving him a few feet in another direction.**

**This apparently happened a lot, because Sans didn’t even react and went right back to just… standing and letting everyone else do all the work if he could get away with it.**

**–**

Just in case that counted as cooking, Gaster came over a moment later, declared the meal heated up enough, and started serving it.

His own little Sans came out of the back room a few minutes later, once again on his crutches and moving quickly on them, making his way to the table and finding a spot between the two Gasters.

–

**While the older two sat down to eat, Gaster merely sat with them to be company. As the little Sans climbed up beside him he gave him a smile and rubbed his head.**

**“Feeling alright?”**

**Most of the attention had been focused on Papyrus and he didn’t want him to feel at all neglected because of it.**

**–**

Sans was a bit surprised at the attention. He and his own Gaster had gotten onto a similar wavelength once Papyrus came into their lives to be cared for, and he’d almost forgotten for a moment that it wasn’t… always quite like that. With someone else to worry about, rather than thinking about himself more. He took a moment to figure out his answer before nodding.

“I think so.”

–

**“Good.” Gaster said, falling into a comfortable silence. Sans and himself had been the same way. When Papyrus was made both of them had sort of pushed their own needs aside in favor of his. Neither of them regretted it, but… well, he want to make sure this Sans still knew it was okay to pay attention to his own feelings for a little while.**

**–**

Sans fell into a relaxed silence with him, deciding he liked eating with a lot of people around to watch.

It had been a long day for everyone, and by the time the meal was over, it was clear that at the very least, little Sans should probably have been headed for bed.

–

**It seemed everyone was eager for bed. Well, almost everyone. Gaster made a point to get his double’s attention before signing,** _**‘Should I sleep in the lab or something?’** _

**He really didn’t want to scar Papyrus more than he already was.**

**–**

Gaster was surprised at the question, but supposed his double had also had… quite a day. _'Sure, if you want to. It shouldn’t be too hard to find a bed or couch or something down there and keep it private.'_

–

**He nodded, although probably would just end up sleeping on the floor somewhere he could lock to make sure no one came in. Having a bed didn’t really matter when you didn’t have bones or… flesh… or anything, really.**

_**‘I’ll probably crash in the machine. We covered it up and everything before we came, same as before.’** _

**–**

Gaster nodded, _'all right, good. I’ll see you tomorrow, then?'_

–

**He gave a thumbs up and turned to leave, pausing only to say goodnight to his boys and the little Sans, if he was still awake.**

**–**

Little Sans did demand a goodbye hug, but it was a very sleepy, very languid one. He was ushered to the back room shortly after, and put into bed beside Papyrus.

Gaster planned to stay up a bit longer to work on some notes, but offered the beds to Sans and Papyrus, and fell asleep a few hours later.

And in the dead of night, the younger Papyrus walked out of his room, and approached his elder’s bed.

–

**Gaster didn’t actually go to the lab right away. He took a little detour to walk the rubble where the earthquake had been for awhile. It was nice to just meander about for him. It was quite. Dead. He could think. Or perhaps, not think.**

**Eventually though he did go back to his machine and ended up slumped into the seats to rest.**

**Sans and Papyrus were crashed on the beds, side-by-side. The smaller of the two was sprawled all over the place, while Papyrus was neatly tucked in and sleeping soundly.**

**–**

Gaster slept soundly on the couch as usual, passed out amongst his notes, and not about to stir anytime soon.

Still, Papyrus’ footsteps were kept light as he walked by, creeping across the floor to reach his elder’s bedside.

Slowly, he reached one hand out and covered his elder’s mouth to stop him from making a loud noise, and tapped his shoulder with the other hand.

–

**Papyrus slowly opened his eyes, but soon jerked awake at the sight of his little doppelganger. He looked at the hand over his mouth and stayed quiet, then up at the face above him again.**

**–**

Papyrus slumped a bit, looking relieved that his actions hadn’t caused any loud sounds or retaliation. Once it was clear his elder wasn’t going to make any noise in fear, he removed his hand and pressed one finger to his mouth in a ‘shh’ motion, then gestured for Papyrus to get up and follow him.

–

**Papyrus nodded and slowly sat up, looking around for a moment and shoving one of his brother’s arms off him before slipping out of bed.**

**He knew it wouldn’t wake him up.**

**The taller skeleton looked down at his double curiously, but eagerly followed.**

**–**

Papyrus lead his twin to the window. It was unlocked, but whether it had always been that way or simply no one had noticed when it stopped being locked, it was hard to tell. He slid it open easily, the sill not making so much of a squeak as it moved, and climbed out onto the fire escape. He waited for his double to follow before closing the window behind them as best he could.

Once outside in the ‘night,’ he fidgeted, looking around them at the cityscape, and sat down on the top step, curling into the building as if he were still uncomfortable having so much open space around him, and was almost afraid to get lost in it.

–

**It was a little difficult for Papyrus to slip his gangly frame out the window, but he managed it, and was soon stood out on the fire escape with his twin.**

**He looked down at him curiously and opened his mouth to speak, but realized that would… be a bad move. He knew how loud he sounded.**

**So instead he took a seat beside his double.**

**–**

Papyrus had hoped, maybe, if his double talked, that being out on the fire escape might make things a bit better. Maybe it wouldn’t be as loud if it were out here.

Still, he kind of appreciated the quiet. The world was still so new, and big, and loud, and he just… wanted very badly to be a part of it, but–

He pulled his knees up to his chest and wrapped his arms around them again, curling up tight and making himself smaller.

Gathering up his courage, he leaned closer to his twin, stretching up a bit so he could lean in and speak near Papyrus’ ‘ear.’

His voice wasn’t particularly loud, but he spoke every letter very, very deliberately, as though he were thinking hard about each one, and was nervous to do so.

“I WANT TO BE A GOOD PERSON. BUT I DON’T THINK I CAN.”

–

**Papyrus leaned down to aid in letting the boy speak into where his ear would be.**

**At those words he looked surprised and finally spoke. He tried to be as quiet as he could, but it was still pretty loud for a ‘whisper’.**

**“OF COURSE YOU CAN. WHAT MAKES YOU THINK YOU CAN’T?”**

**–**

Papyrus fidgeted again, looking down at his feet. “I’M SUPPOSED TO KILL THINGS. SO I DID. BUT I DIDN’T WANT TO. BUT I STILL DID. SO THAT’S BAD.”

–

**Papyrus looked very sad. For a moment he turned away and adopted a similar pose to his counterpart, legs pulled to his chest and arms hugging them.**

**“DOING BAD THINGS DOESN’T AUTOMATICALLY MAKE YOU A BAD PERSON.” He said after a moment. “YOU DIDN’T WANT TO DO THOSE THINGS. YOU DID BECAUSE YOU FELT YOU HAD TO, RIGHT?” He looked at him.**

**–**

Papyrus shrugged, leaning his chin on his knees. “…THEY SAID IT WAS WHAT I WAS SUPPOSED TO DO. SO. THAT’S… WHAT I AM? I MEAN, IT’D BE BAD IF I DIDN’T, TOO, BECAUSE I’M SUPPOSED TO, SO I’D BE A BAD ONE IF I DIDN’T. BUT I’M ALSO BAD FOR DOING IT I THINK. SO…I DON’T KNOW…? I… I PROBABLY COULD’VE NOT AND THINGS WOULDN’T BE DIFFERENT, SO…”

He looked miserable.

–

**“YOU’RE ONLY SUPPOSED TO DO WHAT YOU FEEL IS RIGHT FOR YOURSELF.” Papyrus said, his mind apparently made up pretty instantaneously. “NO ONE CAN DECIDE WHAT YOU’RE MADE FOR BUT YOU. THEY WERE LYING TO YOU TO GET WHAT THEY WANTED.”**

**He frowned, “IT’S… OKAY.” He hugged his own legs a little tighter and looked down at his twin. “YOU’RE NOT THERE ANYMORE. EVERYTHING IS NEW AND NOW YOU CAN DO WHATEVER YOU FEEL IS RIGHT.”**

**–**

His lower jaw wobbled a bit, as if he were close to crying again. “…BUT WHAT IF I START WANTING TO HURT PEOPLE?”

–

**“HAVE YOU EVER** **WANTED** **TO HURT PEOPLE?”**

**–**

“MAYBE?” Papyrus said, burying his face in his hands. “YES? I DON’T KNOW??? I DON’T WANT TO WANT TO HURT ANYONE?????”

–

**“WANTING TO AND BEING TOLD TO AREN’T THE SAME THING. IF… IF THAT’S WHAT’S CONFUSING.” He said, then offered a smile. “IF YOU DON’T NOW THEN… I DON’T THINK YOU EVER DID. YOU WERE JUST DOING IT BECAUSE YOU THOUGHT IT’S WHAT YOU WERE MEANT TO DO.”**

**–**

“…I WANTED TO HURT THEM,” Papyrus said. “SOMETIMES. I MEAN. COULDN’T, AND I DIDN”T KNOW WHAT I’D DO AFTERWARDS, BUT I STILL…”

He buried his face in his knees again as best he could.

“…I DON’T WANT TO DO THAT WITH SANS OR GASTER….”

–

**“** **THEM** **?” Papyrus asked for clarification.**

**–**

“MY OVERSIGHT TEAM,” Papyrus said, knowing exactly what the group of scientists who were in charge of his handling were called.

–

**“… THEY PROBABLY WEREN’T AS NICE TO YOU AS SANS AND GASTER, WERE THEY?”**

**–**

PAPYRUS SHOOK HIS HEAD.

–

**“THAT’S… PROBABLY WHY.” Papyrus looked down at his feet. “SANS AND GASTER WON’T DO ANYTHING LIKE THAT TO YOU. YOU’LL NEVER WANT TO HURT THEM, TRUST ME.” He offered his double a smile.**

**–**

Papyrus looked up at his twin, visibly distressed. “BUT WHAT IF I DO? OR IF I WANT TO DO IT TO OTHER PEOPLE? WAS IT EVEN OKAY TO DO IT BEFORE!?”

–

**“YOU WON’T.” Papyrus said, sounding very sure of this. At the other questions though, he looked torn over what to say.**

**“I… I NEVER THINK IT’S OKAY TO KILL OR HURT ANOTHER. BUT… DOING SO DOESN’T MAKE YOU A BAD PERSON.” He repeated from earlier and looked at his twin.**

**“MY DAD HAS KILLED AND… HURT… A LOT OF PEOPLE… BUT… I STILL LOVE HIM. I ALWAYS WILL.” Papyrus smiled. “HE ISN’T A BAD PERSON.”**

**–**

Papyrus didn’t seem like he knew what to say to that, even though his guilt was still eating him from the inside. That was… he hoped his older self was right.

“…BUT HOW DO I BE A GOOD PERSON?”  
  


–

**“YOU DO WHAT YOU THINK MAKES OTHERS HAPPY. YOU HELP OUT YOUR FAMILY AND FRIENDS. BE THERE FOR OTHERS.” Papyrus said, as though he was reading off some internal list he had made himself many, many years ago.**

**“ALWAYS BE THERE FOR THEM WHEN THEY NEED YOU. WATCH OVER THEM. SUPPORT THEM, EVEN… EVEN IF YOU DON’T AGREE WITH WHAT THEY’RE DOING.”**

**–**

Papyrus watched his twin, listening intently, as if he were carving the words on his soul.

It was the kind of answer he’d always hoped for. Something he could–could list. Could feel like there was something tangible to being good. He could try to do it. Maybe, if he just tried hard enough, he’d succeed.

He nodded up at his double. “OKAY.”

–

**Papyrus smiled at him and slowly, very slowly, reached over to touch his back. It was gentle and barely there, almost like a feather.**

**–**

Papyrus leaned into the touch.

–

**Seeing that it didn’t make him shy away or flinch, Papyrus couldn’t help himself. He leaned down, his lanky arms wrapping around his doppelganger and hugging him tightly.**

**–**

Papyrus was a bit startled but the sudden hug, but didn’t object at all. He was touch-starved, even after spending so much time in his new home, and folded into the hug easily, wrapping his arms around his double’s neck and burying his face in his double’s chest.

Be began to sniffle again, and was soon crying into the hug, holding on tightly.

–

**Papyrus started crying too. He squeezed tightly, cradling his younger self as though if he let go he would slip away. He just… he felt so sad. How could anyone do this to someone? It wasn’t even that it was** **him** **but… anyone. Anyone! How could someone be so cruel?**

**It was heartbreaking and he didn’t understand.**

**–**

Papyrus clung closer until he had largely pulled himself into the other’s lap and curled there, still clinging into the hug, when he realized his double was also crying. “I’M–I’M SORRY!!”

–

**He thought back to earlier today and eventually laughed through his tears. “IT’S… IT’S ALRIGHT. I’M JUST SAD FOR YOU, IS ALL. I’M SAD I COULDN’T HELP YOU. BEFORE ALL OF THIS HAPPENED.”**

**He didn’t mind that the double was curled up in his lap. If anything it made hugging him easier.**

**–**

“IT’S NOT YOUR FAULT!” Papyrus said, pulling a hand away to wipe his face. “I DIDN’T MEAN TO MAKE YOU SAD. SANS AND GASTER DIDN’T KNOW, EITHER!”

–

**Papyrus just nodded, “I KNOW. I KNOW.” He wiped at his tears away and took a moment to breath.**

**“BUT… WE WILL BE HERE FOR AWHILE. I’LL HELP YOU BE A GOOD PERSON.” He smiled, still blinking back tears.**

**–**

Papyrus smiled back, a little flicker of hope finally lighting his eyes. “….OKAY.”


	8. Fear and Loathing pt 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> remnant found in document: "((WELCOME TO THE WWE SMACKDOWN ARENA.))"

**He sniffled and inhaled a few times to calm himself. “I DIDN’T KNOW YOU COULD TALK.” Papyrus said after a few moments to regain his composure. “I’M GLAD YOU DID.”**

**“AND… WELL… YOU DON’T HAVE TO BE SCARED OF MY DAD. I KNOW HE CAN LOOK CREEPY. NYEH-HEH. BUT HE’S HARMLESS. ESPECIALLY TO ANOTHER PAPYRUS.”**

**–**

Papyrus smiled a little, looking maybe a bit proud of himself. “THEY TAUGHT ME.”

He shifted uncomfortably at the mention of the other Gaster, though. “…HE JUST…. HAS REALLY, REALLY HIGH LV.”

–

**Papyrus looked a little sad at that. “YES… I KNOW… BUT… HE’S LIVED A VERY LONG TIME. DO YOU KNOW ABOUT THE WAR?”**

**–**

Papyrus nodded, though his version of what the war consisted of had been warped by his teaching. To him, it was less a war, and more a massacre. “I WAS SUPPOSED TO HELP WITH THE NEXT ONE.”

–

**Papyrus winced a little at that.**

**“WELL, HE FOUGHT IN IT. THAT’S ONE OF THE REASONS WHY HE’S SO… JUMPY AND STRANGE.” Then he smiled, “BUT HE’D NEVER HURT US.”**

**He thought for a moment at what his father had told them about his first meeting with his double. “HE SAID THAT YOU POINTED YOUR ATTACKS AT HIM, BUT I BET HE DIDN’T EVEN FLINCH, DID HE?”**

**–**

Papyrus thought a moment, and slowly shook his head.

–

**“IF THAT WAS ANYONE BUT YOU OR SANS POINTING ATTACKS AT HIM, HE WOULD HAVE GOTTEN… SCARY. NYEH-HEH.” Papyrus looked off to the side, his arms still cradling his double. “BUT SINCE IT WAS YOU, HE WAS OKAY WITH IT.”**

**“THAT’S BECAUSE HE TRUSTS US AND LOVES US. EVEN IF YOU’RE NOT ‘HIS’ PAPYRUS.”**

**–**

Papyrus’ lower jaw wobbled again. “BUT WHAT IF I'D ACTUALLY HURT HIM…?”

–

**“I DON’T THINK HE WOULD HAVE DONE ANYTHING.” Papyrus said, as though this was a bit of a silly thing that his father did. Perhaps it had happened before.**

**–**

Papyrus shook his head. “NO! I MEAN, WHAT IF HE GOT HURT BECAUSE OF WHAT I DID?”

–

**“IT WOULD HAVE BEEN OKAY.” Papyrus said reassuringly. “IT WOULD HAVE JUST BEEN AN ACCIDENT, EVEN IF YOU MEANT TO HURT HIM. NONE OF US WOULD BE MAD AT YOU FOR IT.”**

**–**

“BUT HE WOULD’VE BEEN HURT,” Papyrus said, much more distressed about the idea of hurting someone than of getting in trouble for it. Especially someone who his double apparently loved very much and trusted….

–

**Papyrus opened and closed his mouth for a moment. “HE’S… ACTUALLY KIND OF HARD TO HURT.” A hand reached up to scratch the side of his jaw. “BUT… WELL, IF YOU SEE HIM IN THE MORNING YOU MIGHT KNOW WHY.”**

**He tried to think of some way to reassure himself that even if he did get hurt, it would have been okay.**

**“SOMETIMES… YOU ACCIDENTALLY HURT THOSE AROUND YOU EVEN IF YOU REALLY, REALLY DON’T MEAN TO OR WANT TO. THAT’S WHY YOU PRACTICE AND MAKE SURE YOU ALWAYS HAVE PERFECT CONTROL OF YOUR MAGIC.”**

**“I PRACTICED A LOT WHEN I WAS YOUNGER BECAUSE SANS WAS SO WEAK. I WAS AFRAID OF HURTING HIM.”**

**–**

Papyrus nodded, understanding that fear very well after he’d finally gotten a good look at the monster that had become his first friend. “THEN I’LL PRACTICE EVERY DAY UNTIL THERE’S NO WAY I’LL HURT ANYONE WITHOUT MEANING TO!!”

–

**“THAT’S GOOD!” Papyrus encouraged, “BUT MAKE SURE YOU TELL YOUR… GASTER. YOU’RE STILL YOUNG, SO THERE’S PLENTY OF TIME TO LEARN.”**

**“I DON’T THINK MY MAGIC IS THE SAME AS YOURS, BUT I CAN HELP IF YOU WANT.”**

**–**

Papyrus nodded enthusiastically. “YES! OKAY. TOMORROW?”

–

**Papyrus laughed, “MAYBE! YOU HAVE TO MAKE SURE GASTER IS OKAY WITH IT.”**

**–**

“I WILL,” he said, and then started squirming in Papyrus’ lap, trying to get up again, but not used to getting out of a hug very well.  “I NEED TO GO SLEEP SO I’LL BE READY TO START IMMEDIATELY TOMORROW!”

–

**Papyrus let him go and helped him up off his lap. “AFTER ASKING GASTER.” He repeated.**

**–**

“RIGHT,” Papyrus said, trotting back to the window, summoning a thin bone to slide under the frame and give him room to push it open. Even as young and shaky as he was, the bone was just as smooth and perfect as could be.

As soon as the window opened, he quieted, and slipped through again, back into his apartment.

–

**Papyrus was no stranger to having excellent control over his magic at a young age. They were both slightly more ‘perfected’ versions of their older brother, and things like that had come very naturally to him as well.**

**He slipped in the window behind him and very gingerly closed it once he was though.**

**–**

Papyrus gave him a small wave before slipping back into the side room and crawling back into bed with his brother to fall asleep.

–

**Papyrus returned it and did much the same, haphazardly rolling his lazy lump of a brother over so he could crawl onto the air mattress beside him.**

**–**

Papyrus slept soundly until morning, and kept sleeping.

Gaster was already awake, trying to heat up some breakfast for the kids and guests, and re-estimating how much he should buy for the week to adjust for the new arrivals. The morning was pretty late; and he was the only one up.

–

**For once Papyrus was sleeping in late too. The night out talking with his twin had been rather emotional, so he was catching up on what he missed and then some.**

**Gaster, however, hadn’t slept very well.**

**Despite taking a walk, then trying to sleep, then taking another walk, it amounted to about… well… nothing. He wasn’t tired but he was definitely stressed and on edge. Eventually he decided to just head back to the apartment, teleporting just outside before giving a very gentle knock.**

**–**

With how quiet the apartment was while everyone was sleeping, Gaster heard the knock easily, and went over to answer the door.

 _'Hey_ ,' he signed to his doppelganger, not wanting to use his voice and possibly wake anyone.

–

**‘ _Morning_.’ ** **Gaster signed back and then looked around the room.** _**‘Everyone tuckered out from yesterday I guess.’** _

**He was still fully formed, so clearly he hadn’t gotten any sleep at all.**

**–**

Gaster nodded. _'Not you, though?'_

With asking to go to the lab, he would’ve assumed his double caught at least a little rest… apparently, he was wrong.

–

**After a moment Gaster signed,** _**‘Too stressed. Too pissed. Thinking about going to that place and blowing off some steam, but decided to check in with you guys first.’** _

**–**

Gaster nodded his understanding. He didn’t like the idea of that place getting any more wrecked than it was, but… well. Better than anywhere else in the underground. ' _Want me to come with you?'_

–

**He seemed surprised at the suggestion, then smirked.** _**‘If you wanna see an old man throw a tantrum, sure?’** _

**–**

He snorted. _'Is a tantrum really going to help?'_

He meant it sincerely, despite the incredulousness of his expression as he signed. It seemed to him like a tantrum would only cause more frustration.

_'Yeah, I’m not letting you out unsupervised like that.'_

–

_**‘It does. Lets me clear my head.’** _

**At his other signals though, he made a face and signed,** _**‘But mooooom!’** _

**–**

_'No backsass,'_ Gaster said, narrowing his eyes. At least the other Gaster hadn’t questioned his ability to actually keep him in line.

–

**Gaster put his hands up, accepting defeat.**

**He did one more check on his boys before ducking back out the door.** _**‘We good?’** _

**–**

Gaster wrote a quick note and left it on the table, explaining where they’d gone. ' _Yeah, we’re good.'_

He closed the door and headed out behind his twin.

–

**_‘Teleport or walking?_ ’** **Gaster asked.**

**–**

_'Walking_ ,' Gaster said. Teleporting was terrible, he’d decided.

–

**Gaster seemed to understand and began to walk down the hall of the apartment, out into the street to where he knew the abandoned section of the city to be.**

**–**

Gaster followed along with him, keeping them to empty streets as they went, just in case. He had no intention to do anything but watch, at the moment.

**-**

**Once they arrived at the ruins, Gaster spent a little time mapping out the area with his eyes before using telekinesis to set up figures with the rocks. They seemed to have a very particular pattern and distance from one another, as though he was recalling a memory from long ago.**

**As he did so, he asked, “Are you friends with Grillby here, by chance?”**

**–**

“I don’t know anyone by that name,” he said, looking a bit apologetic. “Why?”

–

**“That’s a shame. He’s a nice guy.” Gaster said as he continued setting up his targets. “We were war buddies. Drinking buddies. In my world he runs a little bar in Snowdin.”**

**–**

Gaster nodded, watching his double set up his targets, trying to imagine some significance to their set up. “He may do that here as well. I’ve never been to Snowdin.”

–

**“You should go sometime… when you have time, anyway.” He looked back at his double while finishing the last of his dummys. “Take the boys. Mine liked it there.”**

**Once everything was set up he stepped back, then rolled his wrist and summoned a bone, the end splintered off and sharpened to a fine point. He swapped from that to a blue bone, then back again.**

**He figured he’d keep the blasters away for this. No need to break down entire buildings and startle his counterpart.**

**–**

“I’ll keep it in mind,” Gaster said, thinking that once things settled down here, it might not be a bad idea to get the kids away from the Capital for a little while.

As his twin summoned a bone, he took another step back, being sure to stay out of his way.

–

**Gaster then practiced his other attack, raising a hand and pulling an array of bones from the earth, then pushing them back down again, then raising more, only these were broken off into a spike like the one still in his hand.**

**He pushed them back down again before looking over at the figures he had made from the rocks, then back at his double just to be sure he knew where he was.**

**The doctor took a deep, steady breath, his expression changing from the usual sort of happy calmness to… another kind of calmness altogether.**

**He darted forward, the jagged bone in his hand quickly finding itself stabbed directly into where the dummy’s neck would be before he pulled it out and kicked the formation of rocks apart into the ground. He spun around to the one nearest to him, elbowing it in it’s ‘face’ before stabbing it through the back and kicking it over.**

**Each movement was practiced, as though this was a dance he had done time and time again in his head. He didn’t smile or appear happy or sad. His expression was devoid of anger or emotion. It lacked anything at all. Even the white dots of his eyes had vanished.**

**–**

Gaster watched.

He stood still, kept out of the way, and watched as his counterpart fell into…. probably a memory.

He didn’t make a sound, just studying the movements and watching, waiting to see when it would stop. There were a finite number of targets. It would have to stop, soon.

This wouldn’t help his counterpart. Maybe it felt like it did, for a while, maybe he liked re-enacting violent moments in a safer environment, but as a way to blow off steam?

He knew from his own experience. It probably wouldn’t do anything but suck him in deeper and make him feel worse. Maybe emotionally exhaust him until he didn’t have to feel inner turmoil anymore. But still. If it looked like things were going the way he believed they were, he– he’d told himself he wouldn’t get involved, but, well, he’d already broken that promise long ago with the kids.

He wasn’t going to let his counterpart run himself into a ditch. Not if there was something he could do to help prevent it.

–

**His counterpart was right.**

**These violent outbursts, these memories, really didn’t help in the broader scheme of things. They were temporary and really only let himself block out his emotions for awhile before they came flooding back.**

**A part of Gaster really wished he could feel as cold as he had back then, but… that wasn’t something possible anymore. Not with his boys.**

**So he fought. He played a memory over again to get himself back into that moment of unfeeling. Of just acting. It was only a temporary relief, if a relief at all.**

**He summoned an array of jagged bones to impale another target, ducked at some unseen force before pushing and stabbing another away, then going through similar motions with the rest of the dummys.**

**Stab. Duck. Attack. Side-step.**

**Eventually they were all just piles of rock.**

**Gaster stood towards the end of his little ‘training area’, his shoulders bobbing with breath that he probably didn’t even need anymore. He reached up and wiped at something unseen from his face.**

**He dropped the bone from his hand, the magic dissipating and vanishing completely before it even met the ground.**

**–**

Gaster clapped his hands, as loud as he could, hoping the sound would shock his counterpart out of whatever was in his head. It reverberated through the empty ruins.

“All right,” he said, his scratchy voice faring worse than usual with his volume. “That’s enough memory lane. Welcome back to the present.”

**–**

**Gaster looked up suddenly at the noise, the white dots of his eye flickering on and off for a few seconds before finding their usual dull glow. The look on his face shifted slightly before the mask was pulled back on, his toothless mouth smirking a bit as he strolled back to his double.**

**“Yeah, yeah.”**

**–**

Gaster’s face remained stony and impassive. Unimpressed, even. “You’re stuck in your head. Get out of it.”

–

**“Mmm…” Gaster mumbled and rubbed the back of his head. He wasn’t disagreeing but… well, honestly he didn’t know how to even begin to get out of his head. His head was all he had in the void.**

**It was… a pretty hard habit to break.**

**–**

Though he didn’t know the exact reason his counterpart was stuck in his head, Gaster still read the look on his face and came to the right conclusion.

He softened a bit, uncrossing his arms and considered the other for a moment.

“…you focus on the here and now. Not what-ifs. Not distant memories. Here and now. Pay attention. Do something that requires attention. Machines. Building. Taking a new way home. If you need help, I’ll force you to pay attention. But get the fuck out of your head or you’ll be trapped there forever.”

–

**Gaster looked at his twin and then… laughed. It wasn’t directed at him, but rather himself. It sounded tired and… maybe a little manic, but it didn’t last too long. Eventually he put his face in his hands and took a deep breath.**

**“No. Yeah. I know. It’s hard.”**

**He sucked in a breath and turned to look back at the scattered rocks he had knocked over. “I just…” The doctor began, but wasn’t sure what he was saying. “… just…”**

**He rubbed his head.**

**“I dunno.”**

**Then he laughed again at a sudden thought. “I can fix everything but myself.”**

**–**

Gaster narrowed his eyes, summoned a blaster, and sent the most powerful blast he could at the field his twin had created.

It wasn’t as powerful as his double’s blaster, not by a long shot, but it rolled like fire, charring everything in its path and leaving only pebbles where there had once been boulders.

“We aren’t fucking machines. You can’t fix your Sans. I can’t fix my Papyrus. You and I are freaks of nature. I don’t give a fuck if I’m broken so long as I can do my job; I assumed you were the same.” He took a deep breath. Still trying to remain firm. Straight backed. Impassive. “…We’re not machines. If things are hard, we don’t stagnate. We can practice.”

Then, a moment later. “We’re going to be fine.”

–

**He didn’t flinch at the sight of the blaster this time, his eyes watching more with interest on the differences of the two than anything else.**

**The hand rubbing his head moved down to his neck, covered in what looked like a turtleneck, but still clearly a part of ‘him’ once you knew what he was made up of.**

**It was… odd to hear those words.** _**We’re going to be fine.** _ **Sure the boys had said that to him plenty of times, especially Papyrus, but it was different to hear it from** **yourself.** **A different version of yourself, but yourself all the same.**

**“You’re right.” He finally said after what felt like forever running his double’s words through his head.**

**Gaster pressed a thumb against the area between his eyes and squeezed them shut. He had his boys. They were working to find the anomaly. When they anomaly was gone they could all relax. They could all have a normal, happy life.**

**A life like the one before the accident.**

**After a moment he opened his eyes again and looked at his counterpart. It was so weird to be getting advice from someone, himself, so much younger. Wasn’t this shit supposed to be the other way around?**

**Damn.**

**His mouth opened and closed, then opened again as though he was hesitant to ask what he wanted.**

**Don’t be a pussy. Just… Just fucking ask.**

**“… What do you do about the flashbacks?” He paused, “You get them, right? The earthquake?”**

**–**

Gaster closed his eyes for a moment and took another slow breath.

“…Yeah.” There were others, too. Being crushed. Water. Calling out, when nobody came, and forgetting how to speak. There– he didn’t want to say a lot. But they were there. With him. “…I… try to remember where I am. Ground myself. Take note of surroundings. Sometimes, you just have to ride it out and pick up the pieces later. Sometimes, get up and leave the area. Do something else. If an anniversary is coming up, I hole up and prepare ahead of time. They… I haven’t been alive nearly as long as you, but they haven’t gone away. But they’ve become more manageable. They’re just a part of living, now. I just try to remember I’m okay. I don’t know what else there is to do.”

–

**Gaster slowly nodded at his words. “Yeah they… don’t… go away. At least with time. They never have.”**

**He was avoiding looking at anything in particular.**

**“Didn’t used to be as bad before the boys. I had started to manage it. Then with them in my life I started to worry more. It wasn’t bad though. Not this bad.” The words just started coming, as though he had wanted to talk about this for eons but didn’t have anyone to listen. It wasn’t something he would ever talk about with Sans and Papyrus, it would just make them worry.**

**“Then the, uh…** **other** **accident.” He laughed a little bitterly, as though calling it an ‘accident’ was ridiculous. It was like calling a tsunami a flash flood. “It was like dying, but… not. Maybe dying over and over again. I don’t know.” He pressed a hand to one of his eyes. “Nothing is there but information. No air. No sound. No sense of touch. It’s fucking…” He let out another bitter laugh.**

**“Fucking…” He trailed off, unable to think of a word to describe it and instead letting his sentence just hang there, unfinished.**

**“Time doesn’t mean anything. I would pop in and watch my boys whenever I could. They grounded me then. But sometimes I would come back after what felt like a hundred years and barely a day had passed for them. It was maddening.”**

**The hand over his eye pressed harder.**

**“Just fucking… endless… fighting.” He stopped then, perhaps realizing how much he had started to ramble.**

**–**

Gaster listened as best he could. If his double needed to talk, he’d listen. If he could help someone else, it’d make up at least a little for all the other things he’d failed to be kind in. Still, though the description was still rough and not very specific, his head jerked very slightly at the description of the void. Time that meant nothing. No touch or sound. He hadn’t experienced it for himself, no, but something in the description struck a little too close to home and he dug a finger into one of his hand holes out of an old habit he thought he’d broken, and tried to listen again.

“…” he didn’t know what to say. There were a lot of things he felt like might be useful–maybe the flashbacks returning was a sign his double was starting to actually process what he’d been through, maybe he did need to reenact danger in a safer environment, but not the exact same fights over and over, maybe he could help some–

–but he didn’t know if his double needed to hear those things right now. And if he fucked this up, he didn’t know if he’d ever be confided in again. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

“…but you survived.”

–

**Gaster laughed. He closed his eyes and laughed.**

**“Yeah. Yeah I did.” He finally smiled, “Thanks to Sans. Papyrus too.”**

**“Without Papyrus’ encouragement Sans would have never built the machine again. Would have never dragged me out.”**

**“You’re right.” He said, then repeated and his smile broadened a little as he remembered another thing his double had said.**

**“… You’re right.”**

**The doctor paused before giving his doppelganger a look as if to say ‘I’m about to show you something** **very fucking personal** **’ and then… a dim white light glowed in his chest and he pulled out his soul.**

**It was attached by thick black tendrils and looked… well… fucking horrible.**

**Two holes were drilled from each side and the entire thing looked like it had been thrown against a wall and shattered a number of times. It was all glued together by what made up his body, the ‘void’ wrapping around it and keeping it together.**

**“We’re broken, but… we’re here.”**

**He pushed it back inside of himself.**

**–**

Gaster didn’t dare breathe while his double’s soul was out, as if he were afraid the slightest movement could shatter it.

He lost his voice again. Hopefully, it would be temporary, but–but for the moment, he hoped the switch to signs would show his double that he realized, at least in some small way, how much that must’ve meant. To be shown someone’s soul without prompting, and allowed to see all their cracks.

If you ever need anything, he said, not sure what else to say, just let me know.

–

**Gaster nodded, smiling a little. “Yeah. Thanks.”**

**He went quiet, unsure of what else to say.**

**–**

The silence quickly grew uncomfortable to him, so Gaster flicked his hands up once more and said, ' _How are you feeling?'_

–

**Gaster switched to signs just because it was so easy to when you saw someone else do it,** _**‘A little better I think.’** _

**–**

_'Good'_ , Gaster said, nodding. Even after spending a lot of time with his double, it was still nice to have someone sign back. _'Still feel like destroying things?'_

–

**Gaster smirked,** _**‘I always feel like destroying things.’** _

**–**

Gaster snorted. ' _Right. How did I forget about that,_ ' and rolled his eyes before looking back out over the area.

 _'Well. This is still your best place to do it. There’s probably not much more you can do to mess it up, anyway.'_ he said. Even when he stopped moving his hands in gestures, he continued fidgeting with them. Their talk had been good, he didn’t regret it at all, but it had definitely pulled some of his worse memories closer to the surface and just holding out through them wasn’t going to work the best right now, so he tried to fidget and push them away until he got somewhere a little bit better for that. Distraction was always something his hands could do.

–

_**‘Yeah…’** _ **Gaster said, looking out over the rubble again.** _**‘Maybe I’ll bring Papyrus out here to spar for a bit with me. He’s always a challenge… even for an old war vet like me.’** _ **He grinned.**

**–**

His eyes flicked up in interest, despite himself. _'Does sparring help?'_

It had been a long time since he’d sparred anyone… sparred, not fought. He had a new chip on his skull to prove that much, at least. Most monsters who even knew he could fight had long started avoiding him.

–

_**‘Sometimes, yeah. Papyrus loves to spar too, likes to prove that he’s strong and can protect us. As for Sans… well, we spar more out of necessity to know he won’t get killed.’** _

_**‘He’s very good at dodging.’** _

**–**

He snorted again at that. Despite all he’d seen his Sans do, the thought of him fighting was still a little… well. Hard to imagine. _'Sounds like fun. It’s good you have each other to do that with, then.'_

–

_**‘Yeah. As you know I’m still… edgy about humans.’** _ **He gave his double an apologetic look.** _**‘And we ARE tracking down something capable of killing without remorse. I need them to be prepared to defend themselves.’** _

**His hands fell to his sides, but only for a moment.** _**‘Hopefully neither of them ever really have to use it and I can just deal with the dirty work.’** _

**–**

Gaster nodded in understanding. _'Right. It makes sense.'_

He thought a moment, not sure if it was appropriate for him to mention his own problems at the moment, but figuring his double was forthright enough to say something if so. _'…I should start sparring again, probably. With both Sans and Papyrus in my care, and how tense things are right now with the factions in the lab…. I don’t want either of them to feel like they have to defend themselves, as long as I’m there to protect them. But it’s been a while, and I don’t really have anyone who’d willingly go full-out against me.'_

–

**Gaster gestured to himself with barely any thought, but he had to ask;** _**‘Factions?’** _

**–**

_'….some don’t think Serptrine was wrong.'_ Gaster said. _'That’s all. We’re… sort of in a… yeah. Some people don’t think Serptrine was wrong.'_

He sighed, and raised his eyebrows at the gesture. ' _What does,'_ he mimicked it, ' _mean.'_

–

**Gaster… did not look happy at that. How the fuck.** **How the fuck.**

**No. No don’t get pissed.**

**Lacking a nose he inhaled sharply through his mouth and exhaled slowly.**

_**‘I meant I can spar with you.’** _

**–**

Gaster read that look as well, and shrugged helplessly, in a ‘hey, I’m trying to hold it together’ type way.

And at the words, he said, ' _You sure?'_

–

_**‘Sure I’m sure.’** _ **He signed,** _**‘Besides, after hearing about THAT I think I need to blow off steam again.’** _

_**‘I won’t slip back into my mind. Sparring is very different for me. Besides, you can probably stab me all you want and I don’t think it would hurt.’** _

**–**

He snorted. _'Good. If you slipped back into your head, I’d take your head off.'_

At the second part, he considered a moment. _'It’s good to hear that, then. But am I going to have to tell you to not go easy on me? I know you’ve been calling me the ‘nice Gaster.’ But I maintain. I’m just the less obvious one.'_

_–_

_**‘I’ll have to see how you fight first.’** _ **Gaster said honestly.** _**‘I’ll adjust accordingly. Better to start off holding back and then ramp up then go too hard from the start.’** _

_**‘For safety.’** _

**–**

_'Don’t wait too long,'_ Gaster said, smiling a bit.

He might still have some self-destructive tendencies.

Haha. Self-destructive.

–

_**‘I won’t. I should get a pretty good feel for you quickly.’** _ **Gaster said, although he knew he hadn’t sparred with anyone that wasn’t Sans or Papyrus.**

**–**

Gaster nodded. _'All right.'_

–

_**‘Anything off limits? I assume-’** _ **Gaster motioned to the scars and just his general face area.**

**–**

Gaster gestured to his rightmost scar, the one which wrapped all the way around his head. _'If you take half my skull off, my half-dead corpse will definitely find a way to kill you. Otherwise, I’m good. You?'_

–

**_‘I’ll be keeping my soul about right here._ ’ ** **Gaster said, pointing to the right side of his chest.** _**‘Avoid that, but everything is fair game. Don’t be afraid to stab the shit out of me.’** _ **He smirked.**

**It had been a hell of a day when he had figured that out.**

**–**

Gaster nodded, glad that his double had at the very least one weak point to mention, in a weird way. Even if having a weak point wasn’t really something he should be glad for.

_'All right. So, what, do we just shout ‘start’ and go?'_

–

**He held up a hand and started to pull things out of himself. His tablet, a magazine, a notepad and some notes, as well as the device he used to transmit to his sons. All were laid in a pile before he nodded.**

**“Ready?” He said, “Set.”**

**Another pause just to be sure his other self was ready. “Go.”**

**–**

While his other self discarded his objects, Gaster thought a moment and shed his coat, folding it neatly on the ground. It was a really nice coat. He didn’t want to fuck it up.

The minute his other self said ‘go,’ Gaster retreated.

–

**… Huh. Already and his double’s tactics greatly varied from his own.**

**Gaster summoned the same sharp bone as before, but this one was blue. It would burn rather than maim, which was good and enough to drive the point across.**

**He charged for his counterpart, but was clearly much slower.**

**–**

He was slow. Huh. He wondered if that was because of his form’s troubles with solidity, or if it was just another of the many differences between them.

He ducked into what had once been an alley and took a sharp turn, coming around so that he had a different angle on his double.

Still moving, he summoned a cat blaster, and sent a shot out an opening over top the rubble, aiming it for his double’s feet. The beam was thin and would damage a normal monster fairly well, but, well. He was pretty sure his double would be more upset about having to reform legs.

–

**Perhaps once this was all over they would have a nice little talk about their differences. That seemed to be a reoccurring thing for them to do.**

**He rounded the corner just in time for the blast to take out one of his feet.**

**What? Oh god dammit.**

**Okay, taking it a step up then.**

**He spun in the opposite direction, the familiar sound of electrical popping coming from beside his double as a hole ripped open and he stepped out, swinging his blue attack down towards the other’s chest.**

**–**

He saw blue, and froze, assuming it would pass through him if he did, not thinking if there were perhaps differences between the blue magic he was used to and his double’s.

Still, his double was far, far too close now. He wanted to run.

–

**He was right. The blue slashed right through his double’s chest with only a slight tingling sensation. If he still had his other foot this would probably be where he would kick him, but… well balancing on one leg wasn’t very fun.**

**Instead he summoned a blaster overhead, the huge maw pointing downwards where the other stood.**


	9. Fear and Loathing pt 4

Hahaholy shit–

Gaster cut his losses, jerking off of the blue magic still lodged partway in him and hissing at the burning it caused.

As he moved, he grabbed his double’s wrist, tugging him off blanace and into the line of fire of the blaster instead.

Gripping his side where the blue bone had damaged him, he continued down the street at a run, summoning two dragon blasters as he went.

As soon as it looked like his double might be getting his balance back, he sent the two blasters back to attack his twin’s vicious weapon. Maybe it was as temperamental as it looked.

He’d have to be more careful about those teleports.

–

**Gaster stumbled forward, flailing his arms and having to hop a bit on one leg to regain his balance. The blaster overhead didn’t change direction, it’s maw ripping open and blasting right into it’s creator before swinging up just enough to take out the other two coming towards him.**

**It then dissipated, the doctor standing in the rubble where the laser had fired but apparently unharmed. He kicked his leg a few times to reform more of his foot before walking out in the direction his double had gone in.**

**–**

When the blaster went off, he felt it rip into the two of his own. It didn’t hurt, but he still had an awareness of it. Despite knowing his other self was much sturdier than he appeared, he slowed some, trying to look back to make sure his double was all right after possibly taking a blast.

–

**Everything seemed fine. Apparently his own magic did nothing to him. Despite taking a direct blast from his own weapon, the only lingering injury he had was a little bit of his foot wasn’t quite formed yet.**

**Gaster looked around for his double, spotting him after a moment and popping from one spot to the next.**

**He stepped out to the other’s side, this time swinging a leg to try and knee him in his side.**

**–**

A bone shot up out of the ground, intercepting the kick. It cracked from the force, but did its job well enough, giving Gaster the time he needed to once again go bolting out of range and hiding behind another set of buildings.

Good to know his double was fine. Still. He couldn’t go forever. He needed to figure out a trap.

–

**Damn. This was like fighting Sans. A Sans who actually** **tried** **.**

**How terrible.**

**Gaster summoned a blaster again, the sound of it charging up probably giving his twin plenty of warning to duck.**

**It fired at the building he had darted behind.**

**–**

The building came down on him.

He’d ducked in time to avoid being hit with the blast itself, but it did nothing to stop the rubble from raining down.

He breathed in dust and covered his head, trying and failing to not go back to the last time  he’d almost been crushed, and–

Just the one building came down. The dust began to settle as the rocks fell into place.

He lay still and motionless, face down under some small rocks. And stayed there.

–

**Gaster tried to push any concerns he had that he might have gone a little bit overboard from his mind. No, if this was him, he wouldn’t have said to ‘actually try’ without really meaning it.**

**The blaster dissipated and he turned to walk in the opposite direction, disappearing from one point in space and stepping out nearby his double, glowing blue bone still in hand.**

**It was hard to see through all the dust.**

**–**

Even as his double appeared nearby, Gaster still remained where he was, partly buried and unresponsive. The blue bones would do no damage to him as he was, lying still.

–

**After a moment Gaster caught sight of his twin lying amongst the rubble. He approached him, the bone in his hand growing longer.**

**He raised it overhead, preparing to spear him straight in the back. It wouldn’t hurt him as long as he stayed still, but he wasn’t about to stab his double with an actual attack. The point of the action was good enough.**

**–**

Haha, wow, what an unsympathetic guy. He could see just the slightest bit through keeping his eyes hidden, and watched the bone grow into a spear. This wasn’t ideal, but he could work with it.

The dragon Blaster hidden in the rubble let out its beam, aiming directly for the side of his double’s head.

–

**Gaster spotted it just a moment too late.**

**Well shi-**

**Just as half of his head went flying off he slammed the bone down into his double’s back.**

**He stumbled backwards, black and white goo melting and sliding down his front and what remained of his face as his world turned into a garbled mess of vague shapes and colors.**

**He fell back onto his rear.**

**–**

Gaster lay still, soul pounding in his ribcage as he felt the spear go in. He kind of deserved that, he guessed, for gambling on concern. Still, even though he couldn’t summon more blasters without risking the bone becoming solid, he still had one functional one already summoned.

His double couldn’t keep this bone formed forever if he was distracted enough, right?

The dragon blaster hounded the injured twin, firing blast after blast at his legs and face, while Gaster lay there, prone and working hard to stay still until the magic might dissipate.

–

**The second blast knocked off what remained of his head. The others turned his legs to mush.**

**Gaster quickly teleported away, rolling what remained of his body through it and probably ending up where they originally started.**

**He was definitely out of commission now that he didn’t have a head or legs to stand on.**

**Now that he was far away enough, the bone in his counterpart’s back dissipated.**

**–**

Gaster breathed a sigh of relief when the bone vanished, keeping the Blaster firing a moment longer just in case before calling it back to help get the rubble off him. That part hadn’t been a bluff. He truly had been buried and didn’t think he’d have enough time to crawl out before his double found him.

Finally free and newly covered in scrapes, he got back up on shaky legs and looked around, trying to decide what to do next.

He wasn’t like his double. He knew the area better, but he had no idea where his double might be at any given time, what with that teleporting ability. He’d only be able to hold an advantage as long as he controlled where the fight was going physically, and expected to get caught off guard.

He made up his mind, looking around once more to figure out his location more fully, before summoning a small hoard of mouse-skull blasters and scattering them far and wide. If they were destroyed, he’d have a rough idea of where his double was.

Until then, he wanted more cover.

He ran further into the maze of the ruins.

–

**His double would have… quite a lot of time to prepare. The blast to his head hadn’t been too bad, but the one to his legs had put him out of fighting ability for a good few minutes. Legs were always the hardest for him, so he worked on that first.**

**One of the blasters would probably find him, desperately clutching to an old pipe coming out of the ground to keep himself upright while he tried to reform his legs.**

**He still didn’t have a head.**

**Unless the blaster made any sort of noise he would have no idea it was even there.**

**–**

Without Gaster to give it clear guidance, the blaster bobbed and wobbled through the air aimlessly, fully unaware that it had found its quarry. Gaster’s blasters were many, but still mindless, and unable to react to anything but what he wished for them to react to. It slid around the edge of a building, bumping into the walls occasionally, and stumbling right into the other Gaster’s path.

–

**At even the smallest sound Gaster’s shoulders would rise. One of his own blasters summoned, sending the area he had heard the tiniest bump or noise to rubble.**

**He formed himself one leg, then began to work on the other.**

**–**

The mouse blaster dissolved easily, hardly more substantial than a single bullet.

It was still enough.

Gaster slowly began making his way more towards that location, hoping to get a glimpse of how his double was fairing. At the sight of the rubble surrounding him, though, he started to think better of that, leaving one blaster in place where it had a clear line of sight before arching around and going as far away from the blaster as he could.

Hopefully it’d hit his legs again. Haha.

–

**It blew his legs off.**

**Again.**

**“̻̭̬̯̮̫̖͝O͉̯̍́ͦͨͩh̥̯̒͂͛̅̒̆̍ ̢͕͖̻͉̼̯ͫͅF̱͎̜̬̼̝̜͗̆ͨ̃ͣ̏̏͘U̳̱͎̘̩ͧ̐ͣ̃ͣͣ̋C̞̻͓K̗̠̺̖͈̞͔ ̺͍̑̈́͊t̐̈́͌ͤ̉̕h̯͔̜͍̩͖̉̀ͅĭ̗̳̼͙̋̉̈͝s̯̘͕͗̕ͅ.̭͈̟͍ͭ͛ͯ͜"̹̻͙̇͆͛͒̅͌̚͢ He yelled, the sound much more distorted and intense then every other time before. It sounded like it was coming from everywhere; over his double’s shoulder, in front of him, to his side, and miles away all at the same time.**

**Gaster didn’t bother forming legs. He formed one large body and a pair of arms and then quickly gave himself a head. He didn’t bother with the mouth.**

**He began zipping all over the place with his portals to try and find his double.**

**–**

The thing that had reformed where his double once was? Was absolutely terrifying.

Maybe he shouldn’t have kept targeting the legs…?

He kept moving, staying low and listening intently for the sounds of a blaster charging up or a portal ripping open, scattering his larger blasters in nooks and crannies and then lying back in wait, hoping that if his double appeared nearby, he wouldn’t have a chance to do anything before at least one Blaster could get off a shot.

–

**The sounds of portals opening and closing popped up everywhere. His tactics had apparently changed.**

**… He probably shouldn’t have kept targeting his legs.**

**Eventually he slid out from a wall on a building and caught sight of his double, then quickly ducked back in and opened one right in front of him.**

**There was no bone or blaster. It was just… him. A black mass of oily substance reaching out to grab at him. The only thing with color were his hands and face, his eyes completely black and devoid of light just to save on energy.**

**Appearances be damned. Everything was being put forth to catch this little fucker.**

**This little fucker who BLEW OFF HIS FUCKING LEGS.**

**TWICE.**

**–**

“Gah!” Gaster shouted at his twin’s sudden appearance and rolled backwards, trying to get out of range of the oily mass, but not fully succeeding. It stuck to his legs and he kicked out, even as several of his blasters loosed another shot towards his double’s head from their hiding places.

–

**The strange substance was deathly cold when you were inside it and it clung to you like glue, but never pulled off Gaster’s body.**

**This time he ducked. Not having legs to worry about allowed him to shift his form much more fluidly (heh) and turn into little more than a blob before he pulled himself up again and chased after his twin.**

**He was much faster now.**

**He moved similar to a snail, his body able to just roll over the debris rather than stepping over it or avoiding it.**

**–**

The oily substance was horrible, making his bones go numb. His twin was going much faster, faster than he would be able to outrun on the ground. He knew that much. It was only a matter of time before he was caught if things continued as they were.

So he would just have to get off the ground.

He threw up a wall of bones, pressing them as close together as he could, hoping his double wouldn’t be able to just squeeze through the gaps without at least slowing down some. With the barrier hopefully buying him a bit of time, Gaster hooked a foot in a window frame long devoid of glass, and began to climb.

–

**Gaster continued his chase. The bone wall did slow him down. Squeezing through small cracks wasn’t very nice, even when you didn’t feel much, so instead he climbed over it.**

**He tried to catch up, reaching through the window as his double slipped inside.**

**–**

He was on the roof by the time his double made it to the window.

He summoned one long, thin bone and sent it straight down, through his twin and into the window frame.

He said it was fine to stab him, after all. So. That was his payback for the oil slick still clinging to his leg.

He looked around, searching for higher handholds.

–

**The bone went straight through him, barely slowing down as it met his body and crashed into the window behind him. It only slowed him slightly. Being less solid now meant that attacks just sort of passed through him. But, well, he hadn’t used any of his own.**

**Perhaps he couldn’t. Or maybe didn’t want to. It was hard to tell.**

**Gaster cruised after him, eager to get his hands on him again.**

**He wanted to scare the shit out of him for taking off his legs.**

**–**

He was definitely succeeding in scaring the shit out of Gaster. No fucking way was he letting that blob get his ‘hands’ on him again without some serious effort.

With no handholds nearby, he conjured a bridge of bones and darted from one rooftop to another on his magic. It wasn’t very stable and definitely not the wisest course of action, but compared with the shape behind him? He’d risk taking a fall.

–

**Gaster watched him dart across to another rooftop, and quickly turned, opening one portal to appear right in front of him on the other side.**

**He reached for him again.**

**–**

He couldn’t stop in time or change direction, and wound up running right into his double. For any other monster, that wouldn’t have been much of an issue, but in this case, the oily slick covered him quickly.

–

**Gaster began to wrap around his double from the neck down.**

**He grabbed for his wrists with his hands, and pulled himself inches away from his twin’s face.**

**The area where his mouth would have been began to distort, looking like flesh or glue tearing apart as he created himself a new mouth.**

**He screamed… or growled. It was a mix of the two. It was horrifically loud and distorted just as his words had been before.**

**Get. Fucking. Spooked.**

**–**

Gaster screamed.

He headbutted his twin in the mouth.

–

**His twin’s head just sort of… went into it. But the screaming stopped.**

**He took a moment and then reeled back, giving his double a pretty disgusted look.**

**"̻̳̈́͆̐̒E̘ͨ̑̂ͫ̉̑͑w͐͆̌̎ͪ̈̄.̛̫͂̆ͮ"̹̰͂ͤ̓͌ͅ**

**–**

His twin stared right back at him, lip twitching. He spoke aloud, since his wrists and… most everything else were still trapped. “Ew yourself. Holy shit. What the fuck. I will put a blaster in my mouth and breathe fire at you, let me go right now, this is freaky. I’m inside you and you feel gross.“

–

**"͊W̅̑͋̐ͥow̋ͫ͏,́ͧ̈̋͡ ̅̄̓ͫ̔̚͢r̵u͏d̸ě͐̌̈́ͭ́ͮ."̾͑Gaster said, but did as he was asked and slowly peeled himself from his**

**double.**

**"̰͟T͠h͢a̠͘ͅt̻'̢s̝͍̪ͅ ̮w̥͉h̥̫a͉͈̰̹͔̯ͅt̘͖͓͍̩̱ ̨͕̜y̞͈͈̩͎̘͖͠o̟̟ͅư̯̠̼̬̱̗ ̛̬̩g̸e̳̱t̪͔ ̮̤̤̙̕f̤͔̹͚͕̟o͉̰̮̫̤r͚̳͎ ͍͢b̹̕l̲̩̗̬͉a̯͎͉̗͉̹̕s̻̩̗͔̣̩͝t̡̬̭͖̥͖͈i̢̦͍͖̹̝͇̟n̛̜͖g̷̠̫̠̻ ̮̯ơ̞̫̠̥͔̖f̸̲͕͔̳̩̜̪f ̩̹̬͉̭ͅm̻͙y̜͠ l̸̼̪͚̰̦e̗͇̼g̴̠͖s̬̘̙̝͚̰ ̠̰̰̣̺͙tw̘̜͖ḭ̭̣̲̣̣c͎ẹ͉̥͈̖̺.̩̹͇̦̱"̶̻̪̳̯̰**

**–**

“Technically three times,” Gaster said, counting the first time he blew off his twin’s foot as a point. He stumbled back and fell against the roof of the building, sitting down and trying to rub some feeling back into his arms. “Ugh. Truce?”

–

**"͂̓͞T̉̒̇̔r̂̔ͦ͂u̸ͬ̅ͩ͑͗͗c̈͌̆̓̈ͨȩ̀̈̐͊ͫ.̛̉͂"͆̓̿̅̓̿ͮ He said, then grinned, "͌̓̿ͦ̾D̎͜i̓̓͏d͝ ̂ͧ͛́ͪ̄I̸ͤͯ̀̊ s̒̉͗ͮ̐c̍ͯa͂̓̄re͐ ̧͒́ͪ̈́͗y̸ͪo͋͒uͨ̓̉̓?̧ͪ͒ͮ͑̾"̶ͣ͂̆͌**

**–**

“Yeah, but fuck you, I got you good three times,” he said, grinning back.

–

**"͑̃̒̿̓͋No̽̌͛̋ͨ̅ͭ,ͤ ͂̍̈ͥͩ̄̑y̵̌̇ͧͩ͆eͨä́͂ͣ̾̏ͬ̚h͛̿̎͏,̡̽̆͛̒̍ͪ ̢y̵̋̇̔͋͆͒͐o͆̿̄͒̒͢ȕ̄̋͌ͨ͌͂'͒͐͐ͪrͤ̀̇͘e͝ ̂͗̐̒r̋ͯͫͣ͆̾͊i̍̿̍̃̋̍̚҉g͛ͯͭ͛̀ͧ͘ht͛̈̄͝.͒̊̊̅̑"͌͒̅͏ Gaster started to form a little more, making his face look a bit less… terrifying.**

**"͢F̯̰͞u̻̰̰̝̩͠n̺̥̱̗̕ͅn̼̹̻ͅy̬̠̟͍ ̶̝̣t͕̲͎̻h̴̦͕̬ou͓ͅg̳̼̦̖̼̕h͇̺̫̩͘.̺͓͓̗̫͉̯͟ ͏̦̤̞̳͉Y̱͓̱o̧͉̪̲̙u̠͔̣̗̩͇͠ͅ ̣͈͈̠̦͈̰f̡̩̹i̲͝g̢͕͍̳̬h̹͞t ̨̞̪̱͕̝̝l͙͕̩̻͓͞i̺̭̠k̤̠e̛̺̩ ̛̲̩̝̼̼͇S͍̙̳̲̫̯a̤̼n̸̯̮s͖̝̟̜͔͓͇.̹̬̦̳̟̩͡"̛͉̼̰̼̲**

**–**

He relaxed a bit as his twin’s face reformed, and let himself just sort of…. flop down on the rooftop fully, now that he was feeling a bit better. He’d still have to get something for his ribs, but mostly, he was winded and recovering from the adrenaline rush.

At his double’s words, he blinked up in surprise. “Really? Howso?”

–

**"A͝ l̡ot̨ o̕f͘ avoi̢da͠ncȩ. ̸A͘ lot ̛o̕f̵ ͏run̕n͠i͠ng̛. I u͏sed̵ to ̕fi̡g̢ht ̴li͢k͘e ̶tha̡t̴ ̶too̴, b̢uţ.͘.. ̡not ͜anym̷ore.͟ ̕Runniņg isn'̢t͘ ̵ea̢sy̸ ̷w͠hen͏ yo̷u're͡ ͜worried ̨about ͠keep̡ing͠ y͝o̵ur̛ l̡e͟g҉s s͝ol̡id."̷ He explained, watching as his double rested. He tried to pull himself in a little more and be less… liquidy.**

**–**

“I wondered about that. The slow moving, thing,” Gaster said as they both pulled themselves back together. “Maybe I should spar Sans sometime.”

–

**Gaster looked a little hesitant for a moment, but that faded quick enough. "You̕ ca͏n̡ i͠f ͢y͜ou̕ ̶ca͘n͘ ̸cơnvi҉nc͘e ͢ḩim͝.̸ I ͘k̨n̶ow͟ ̷yo̸u're҉ a͡w̛are͡ tḩat̷ he̡'̛s ve҉ry w̡eak͟."̵**

**–**

Gaster nodded, looking over at his twin once more. “I’d only do it if he was comfortable with that.”

Besides, if they really did fight alike, it would probably end up being a weird dance of ‘you can’t touch me’ and getting on the other side of the city as fast as possible. Maybe they should do a race, instead.

–

**A race would… probably be Sans just sleeping and giving up, but Gaster didn’t know his other’s thoughts and couldn’t comment on it.**

**"He̶’s ̕j̵ust͢ l͟a̵z͠y͘ i͞ş ͞a̡ll.͘” Gaster said, “͠Ha҉l̢f t͠he tim͡e ̷wh͠e̵n we ̴sp̸ar̡ ҉h͏e͢ won'ţ ͡e̕ve͟n m̕ov͠e̛ and҉ ͢t҉he͘n I get̶ ҉inches ̨away ̕f̕r͜o͞m ̛hit̛ting ̕h̕i̵m͜ a̸nd he'̨ll ̢j̸u͡st.̧.̡. ̵fal̶l ̕ơver an͡d̷ ̵s̵ay͡ som̢eth̵i͡ng ͡l҉i͘k̨e̶ ͞'̨w̵elp̨, ͟g̶u͠e҉s̷s͘ ̛i̶'̵m d̸ea̕d'̴."̷ He tried to mimic his son’s lazy, low drone.**

**–**

They could race if there were really good food going to the winner, probably. Just because Sans always ordered the worst burger on the menu didn’t mean he didn’t enjoy a gourmet one occasionally, probably.

Gaster laughed. “I like his style.”

–

**"̛I̧ don̵'t̵!͏” Gaster frowned and threw up what remained of his arms. At least now he had a decent face and a pair of shoulders. “̶I̸t's̕ fru̵s͢tra͏ti̕n̨g as he̷l͞l̛.”**

**–**

“You’re fun to frustrate,” Gaster pointed out, grinning. “I didn’t realize it before now. But goddamn. We’re hilarious when we’re pissed.”

–

**He gave his double an annoyed look, but didn’t argue against it.**

**Gaster knew it was true. It’s why Sans did it all the time.**

**–**

Gaster hadn’t had the joy of his kids finding out he was funny when angry just yet, so it truly was a new discovery for him. He finally let his small laughter die down and went back to just lying there, recovering. “….our kids are going to be pissed at us when we get back, huh.”

–

**“̧Pa͞p͏yr҉u͏s̵ w͝il̛l̶ b͘e̕.͏ ̸Şans ̴do͢e͜s҉n͜'̢t̕ ͞car̴e ̸mu͜c͝h.̛ Th͘e̕n P̸ap̴y̕rus ̴w̴i̢ll̷ ͝w̷onde҉r ̨why he ̢wasn͜'̵t ̴i͏nv̧i̴t̡ed.̡” Gaster would have snorted, but he didn’t have a nose. He huffed instead.**

**“͟..̢.̨ W̴e͠ s̕h҉ould̶ pr̨ob̧ab̕ly g͝o͢ che҉ck̡ on t͏he͏m͠.” He moved to teleport away but stopped and realized he was still a horrible blob… thing.**

**“.͠.̵.̵ O͡h ri͞ght. ̵S͡ho̷ul̢d̛ ̸I ҉ju҉s̵t ͜s͡tay ̛he͟r͟ę?"͢**

**–**

Gaster frowned. “…I wouldn’t want to force you to stay behind,” he said at length.

–

**"W̢ell͘,̡ ̕wha͢t͘eve̸r you ҉th̵in͝k ҉w̕ould be̸ ͡bes̛t ͝fo̶r yơur P͜a͏pyrus͝. ̷I ҉k̶ņow yǫur͝ ͜S͝a͜ns̵ ̧d̴o͏e̶s̨n̕'t m̵i̧n̶d.͝ ҉M͠a͏y͞b͞e he ͜co̴uld ex̕plain̨ ̢to ͏h͜im,̛ ͢b͏ut… if ̸n̸ot t̡he͡n̕ I̕'͟m͢ ͝a̴lri͏g̨ht wi͜th̵ s͟t̕ay͞i͜n͏g̛ back u̧n̛ti̷l ͟I̢ c̶an̵ grow a ͏c̶o͢uple͏ of̧ le͝g͡s ag͟ain.͏"͡**

**He tried not to sound like it bothered him that another version of his kid would be scared of him, but… it did.**

**–**

“…do you want to try?” he said. “After all, it went better than we thought it would with Sans, right? Maybe it’ll work okay with Papyrus, too? Worst comes to worst, you head out again. Otherwise, you don’t have to worry about sleeping with everyone else, at least, right?”

–

**Gaster thought for a moment, ”…̢ Y͏eah. Mi̕g̵h͏t͏ ͢a͠s w̡e͜l͢l t̷ry͞.̛"**

**–**

Gaster nodded. Now… to get back….. “…are you going to teleport, or do you want to…. roll?”

–

**The blob looked annoyed, but… he guessed it was a bit like rolling.**

**“Te͝lep͘or̕t͡.”**

**–**

Gaster put his hands up in surrender. “Hey. At least I didn’t say ‘crawling.’ “

Then, he nodded, resigning himself. “….should I come with you, or is that a bad idea right now?”

–

**“I̶f ͞you w͟ant ͜to.̷ ̸W̴e͜'͏l͝l̶ ̡n̢e̢ed t͏o̵ ͡grab͟ ̕o͠ur͜ ͢ţh̴i͠n͘g̷s ͟fįr͏st ̨a̧nywa͠y̵.͜"͝ Gaster said, having kind of got the feeling that his double hadn’t been very comfortable with teleporting after the first time.**

**–**

Teleporting was strange and weird and kind of a gross feeling.

Not as bad as being trapped with his body in his twin’s goop. But. Pretty comparable.

He nodded. “I’m walking for that part, at least,” he said as he stood up.”  
  


–

**Gaster nodded, letting his double do his own thing while he turned and teleported back to their original starting point.**

**He began to pick up everything and store it inside himself while clearing his throat now and then. If he could get his voice back at least, that would be good. The last time he sounded like this little Papyrus hadn’t reacted well.**

**–**

Gaster arrived not long later, walking out of the ruins and picking up his coat. After a moment, he decided against putting it on.

His sweater was…. pretty gross. He’d probably have to burn it. not really. But the thought occured.

He just held onto his coat instead, trying to not get it dirty, and turned to his twin. “Ready?”

–

**"͞Su̸r͠e. ̶Te͘le̛p̵ort̵i͝ņg͞ w͝it͜h͜ me o͡r̶ sh̨all I ͡gi̢v͠e ̸yo҉u a̴ h̶ead ͡s͝ta͡rt b̨e҉for͟e͡ ͢ģo̢in͝g̨ m͝y o̢w͏n͘ way̧?̛"҉**

**–**

“I’ll come with you, just in case,” he said, sighing.

–

**Gaster nodded and held out his hand, waiting for his double to take it before turning and leading him through the rip in space and out the other side.**

**They stood in the hallway outside the apartment.**

**–**

Once they were there, Gaster paused, shaking his head a bit to gather himself and glancing over at his double, making sure he was all right and pulled together enough before knocking on the door. Even though it was his apartment, he’d long gotten into the habit of knocking first, for Papyrus’ sake.

“Hey, it’s us. Anyone in there awake yet?”

–

**Papyrus was the first one up and about. He had rummaged around in his bag and had been sitting at the table eating a muffin while Sans continued to sleep when there was a knock on the door.**

**He got up and quietly walked over to open the door, not wanting to say anything for risk of waking up the two young ones if they were still asleep.**

**–**

Gaster didn’t say anything as Papyrus opened the door. He just stood there, smiling in a ‘we definitely didn’t do anything dumb’ way while holding his jacket and looking like he’d taken a swim in an oil slick, his twin behind him, still half-melted.

They were a very innocent looking pair today.

–

**Papyrus looked happy to see them.**

**Then confused.**

**Then angry.**

**He stepped aside to let them in and wasn’t about to harass the man kind enough to take them in, but his own father was a very different story. Papyrus flailed his arms at his body, or lack thereof.**

**Gaster gave him a dopey grin and signed,** _**‘Was having fun times with the Kidster.’** _

**–**

Gaster was about to touch Papyrus’ shoulder, but looking at the mess that was his hand, thought better of it. Instead, he just made a quiet clicking noise, trying to get Papyrus’ attention. _'Not his fault. I provoked Goopster and he fell for it.'_

–

**Papyrus looked between the two of them back and forth, then threw up his hands and looked like a very disapproving mother before skulking back over to the table to finish his muffin.**

**Gaster gave his double a thumbs up.**

**–**

Gaster sighed and headed in with his twin. _'Told you they’d be pissed.'_

–

**He merely shrugged and smiled, as though he was used to it.**

**While Papyrus disappointingly ate his muffin, shaking his head all the while, Gaster moved over and started to shake at his sleeping son.**

**Sans mumbled.**

**–**

While his double shook Sans, Gaster went to do his best to try and clean himself off, washing his hands and searching through his small laundry pile for cleaner clothes.

–

**Gaster went about trying to get his other son to wake up. It was getting late in the morning and they couldn’t spend** **all** **of their time goofing off… or sleeping, in Sans’ case.**

**He grabbed the thermos from the bag they brought with them and shoved it at him. Sans clutched it and mumbled incoherently while his father pushed him into a sit and patted his cheeks a few times.** **  
****  
** **Once both boys were up and moving he settled on the couch and tried to concentrate on getting himself into a more decent form.**

**–**

Gaster returned a moment later, not fully clean, but a vast improvement over his previous state. Quietly, he opened the door to the side room, checking in to see what the state of his kids was. It was pretty late for them to still be asleep, but with strangers in the house….

Sure enough, Papyrus was sitting up in bed, fidgeting with his shirt and snuggling with Sans, who was still dozing. The long time spent sleeping on his own as an experiment hadn’t ever really left the kid, and he tended to sleep whenever things got too boring for a long time.

“Hey,” Gaster said. “You hungry? I’ll bring you some breakfast in here”.

“I CAN COME OUT.”

Gaster jumped, startled. He knew Papyrus could speak, having heard it a couple times before, but… the kid was usually so quiet, he wasn’t expecting it at all, much less him actually offering to come out.

“Oh. Uh. Okay,” he said, not wanting to discourage Papyrus if he were feeling sociable for once, but….. “The, uh, other Gaster is here again. He’s…. he looks pretty frightening right now, but he’s not going to do anything, okay? He’s just looking weird.”

–

**Gaster sat and watched it all from the couch, looking rather surprised at the sudden voice coming from within. That was a definite improvement from yesterday. His attention was only shifted when his Papyrus cleared his would-be throat.**

**He gave his father a knowing smile.**

**The doctor raised the ‘brow’ of his good eye and then returned it.**

**So the kid and him had a talk or something? That was good. Great, even.**

**Sans wasn’t paying much attention to anything, yawning before climbing up onto the couch and drinking from his thermos. Eventually he cracked an eye socket open enough to give his father a glance.**

**“did you go out and play in the mud?”**

**Gaster flicked the side of his skull.**

**–**

Papyrus nodded. After talking for so little for so long, he still mostly relied on nodding and miming to get his point across, but… he could try today, after what had happened last night. Slowly, he uncurled himself from Sans, careful to not wake him up, and shuffled over to Gaster, who led him out nervously.

He hid behind Gaster at the sight of ‘Gramps,’ eyes wide and definitely stifling the urge to lash out. But…

He spotted the other Papyrus nearby, and made eyes pleading for assistance.

–

**‘Gramps’ offered him a sad sort of smile, then turned his attention away from him hoping that maybe it would kind of… help out a little.**

**Papyrus stood up, setting his breakfast aside to walk over to his double.**

**“DO YOU WANT TO TAKE MY HAND? I CAN WALK YOU TO THE KITCHEN.” He offered it down to him.**

**–**

Papyrus quickly latched onto the other’s hand. Or. More his whole arm, really. He nodded.

Gaster stood nearby until Papyrus walked off with his double, bemused but infinitely grateful.

–

**Papyrus happily lead his little twin over to the table and pulled out a chair beside him for him to sit. “DON’T MIND MY DAD. HE’S A DUMMY WHO WENT OUT AND STRESSED HIMSELF.” He looked over at him. “ISN’T THAT RIGHT?”**

**Gaster signed a very defeated,** _**‘Yeeees.’** _

**Papyrus looked at his double again. “THAT WAS A YES.”**

**–**

Papyrus didn’t quite sit down, opting instead to hover right next to his elder self like a duckling staying rigidly behind its mother. He glanced over at the other Gaster once more before nodding.

His own Gaster, in the meantime, went to dig through the pantry for something to give Papyrus for breakfast.

–

**Papyrus went back to eating what was left of his muffin, not minding how tightly or how much his double wished to cling to him. Once he was almost finished he looked down at him, then slightly jerked his head towards the other Gaster as if to say ‘remember what you wanted to ask him?’**

**–**

Papyrus nudged his elder a bit, looking up with a ‘can you do it?’ look, glancing around at the other occupants of the room. He could ask, maybe, he thought, but he was suddenly feeling very, very shy.

–

**Papyrus thought for a moment. It would be good if his counterpart did it himself, but at the same time he was already accomplishing quite a lot by being out with everyone already. So he nodded and looked back at the other Gaster.**

**“WE HAD A SMALL TALK LAST NIGHT AND I WAS WONDERING IF I COULD ASK YOU SOMETHING?”**

**–**

Gaster looked up, curious about all that was happening right now, since it was such a radical change from what he was used to with Papyrus. “Yes?”

–

**“PAPYRUS WOULD LIKE TO LEARN HOW TO BETTER CONTROL HIS MAGIC. I TOLD HIM I COULD HELP TEACH HIM.” He smiled, “I AM VERY GOOD AT CONTROL.”**

**“BUT ONLY IF YOU APPROVE.”**

**–**

Gaster was surprised, but smiled. Control was something he’d honestly been very, very worried about with both of the kids–between Sans’ unstable blasters and Papyrus’ history with violence, he’d honestly thought it was only a matter of time before something terrible happened. “Of course. If he wants to practice I’ll support him.”

Papyrus blinked up, looking almost surprised, and quickly ducked behind his elder again to hide that he was smiling.

–

**“THAT’S GREAT!” Papyrus said, then turned and looked down at his counterpart.**

**He knew he was smiling.**

**A hand reached up and pat his head. “WE WILL START TODAY. BUT YOU MUST BE SURE TO EAT A HEALTHY BREAKFAST SO YOU HAVE PLENTY OF ENERGY.”**

**Gaster cleared his throat from the couch to get the attention of his double before signing,** **‘ _You think it would be good to teach your Sans too? My Sans could help him out. He knows what it’s like to have a lot of power packed into an eggshell.’_**

**–**

Papyrus nodded and started edging towards the food Gaster had set out for him, pulling it closer and nibbling it down.

Gaster raised an eyebrow and looked to the older Sans, signing, Did you catch that at all?

–

**“yep.” Sans said before taking a drink from his thermos. “i can help the kid out.”**

**–**

Gaster nodded, sighing. “All right. I’ll ask him when he wakes up. He’s gotten a lot better at it so far, but I’m sure there’s more you can show him.”

–

**“i can show him how to sleep at any angle.” Sans said, casting his hand in front of him as though he was about to show the kid a brand new world. “how to completely avoid any and all work ever.”**

**Gaster signed,** **‘You better fucking not.’**

**–**

_'Honestly,'_ Gaster said, _'good fucking luck.'_

–

_**‘Remember, he’s you. YOUNGER you. Remember what you used to be like?’** _ **Gaster signed.**

**Sans paused, his thermos halfway to his mouth. “yeah. i remember.”**

**He took another drink.**

**–**

_'Good. Then I want to see this,_ ' Gaster said. He turned to his counterpart. _'You don’t have a camera hidden in there, do you?'_

–

**Gaster pulled out the tablet and waved it about.** **‘ _This can work as a camera.’_**

**–**

_'Good,'_ Gaster said. _'Make sure to get as much as you can of my Sans harassing yours. It’ll be great.'_

–

**He grinned and gave a thumbs up.**

**“IF YOU’RE GOING TO BE TRAINING TOO, YOU SHOULD EAT.” Papyrus said to his older brother, who just smiled and waved his thermos.**

**“i’m eatin’.”**

**Papyrus put his hand on the table and glared.**

**Sans eventually yielded and reached for the bag. “yeah, yeah.”**

**He dug around and found a box of donuts.**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> fanart by FUCKING ME for this chapter


	10. Fear and Loathing pt 5

Gaster sighed and shook his head, and went back to the side room to wake up his tiny menace.

He exited a few minutes later with the crutches under his arm and Sans clinging onto him like a very tired koala. It took a little prying to get him to sit down at the table instead, but once he was set down, Papyrus slid closer to him, sharing his breakfast and keeping close.

–

**Sans walked over to the table, sitting across from his brother and putting the box of donuts in front of him. He started to eat, looking almost as tired as his younger double despite having been ‘awake’ for a lot longer.**

**“looks like i got roped into teachin’ you how to be cool, kid.”**

**–**

Sans looked up from his breakfast, blinking. “cool.” he said.

Then, he did a double take.

He pointed at the donuts. “wassat?”

–

**“donuts.” Sans grabbed one and handed it over to his double. It was from a pack of those white powdered ones you could grab almost anywhere.**

**“TEACHING HIM HORRIBLE EATING HABITS ALREADY?”**

**“of course. he’s me. what sans doesn’t eat horribly and sleep all the time?”**

**–**

Sans took the donut and observed the situation around him, thinking. “i need one for pap, too.”

–

**“oh right, sorry kid.” He grabbed another and handed it over.**

**–**

Sans handed the donut over to Papyrus, who took it and ate a hesitant bite before going crosseyed in confusion at the influx of sugar.

Mysteriously, the first donut Sans had been given had disappeared. “can i try one too?”

–

**“you can’t sans a sans, buddy.” Sans smirked and ate more of his donut.**

**–**

Sans frowned as best he could with his mouth. “what d’you mean? i haven’t had one yet.”

–

**Eventually Sans sighed and handed him yet another before speaking to his father, who was still sat on the couch behind him.**

**“you were right.”**

**“Hah.͝” Came Gaster’s slightly distorted laugh.**

**–**

“It’s a fun house,” Gaster said, shaking his head slightly.

Sans looked very disappointed that he wasn’t getting another donut. Papyrus watched, feeling bad for him. A moment later, he turned to the older Sans and said, very carefully, “CAN I HAVE ANOTHER?”

–

**Sans let out a long sigh and took one out for himself, then just pushed the whole box towards the two kids. There were only a few left anyway.**

**“YOU’RE A TERRIBLE INFLUENCE.” Papyrus said.**

**“yep.” He bit into his donut.**

**–**

“eeee,” Sans said, and hugged his brother. Papyrus glowed a bit before quickly going back to his normal breakfast, not touching a single one of the donuts. He did elbow his doppleganger a bit, though, giving him a look for saying mean things about the other Sans.

Sans held one donut out to both Gasters as well.

 _'No. No. Thanks.'_ Gaster said, stepping back quickly. He still wasn’t that good at eating, but at least the kids were having fun. Probably.

–

**Papyrus looked down at his double and smiled. “DON’T WORRY. IT’S JUST HOW WE JOKE WITH EACH OTHER.”**

**Gaster did much the same,** **‘No thanks. You enjoy them.’**

**–**

Sans destroyed what was left of the box of donuts while Papyrus grudgingly accepted that explanation and finished his breakfast.  Much less messily.

–

**“SO WHAT ARE YOU TWO GOING TO DO TODAY?” Papyrus asked the adults in the room. Although technically he and Sans were adults, they were still often lumped as ‘the kids’.**

**Gaster looked at his twin, having at least formed a bit more of an expressionable face as the time had passed. Legs were still a little beyond him, but it was clear he was working on it.**

**‘Do you want help with the core? Or I can watch the kids, although I don’t think they need my supervision.’**

**–**

_'Helping on the core would be great,'_ he said, maybe looking a bit too relieved as he did, ' _it’ll be nice to not have to w…'_

He trailed off, glancing at the older versions of Sans and Papyrus, before amending, _'Not that you’re less likely to blow me up. But. Friendly explosions.'_

After his double’s reaction to hearing there were some monsters who still supported Serptrine’s decisions, he wasn’t really rearing to tell the other Sans and Papyrus. His own already knew, but… the elder versions might not take it very well.

He looked to Papyrus again. “We’ll just be in the lab. Sans has a cellphone if you need to call me.”

–

**Yeah, it would… probably be best that they not know. Sans in particular had taken the original news very hard. He didn’t get upset over much, but hurting his little brother was definitely one of the things that got him going.**

**“ALRIGHT.” Papyrus nodded and looked down to see if the younger versions were finished with their breakfast.**

**–**

Both were, looking up at the discussion around them and waiting to see what would happen next.

“The, uh, the earthquake ruins you guys stayed at last time you were here are probably a good, empty place to practice if you want,” Gaster said. “We’ll see you later.”

–

**Papyrus nodded and stood up, his brother doing much the same. They hadn’t been there in months, but both knew how to get back to it.**

**“WOULD YOU LIKE ME TO CARRY YOU OR DO YOU PREFER WALKING?” He asked the younger Sans.**

**–**

Sans looked very conflicted. On one hand, he did prefer walking after having spent so long not being able to, but on the other hand….. being carried….. was great……….

His conflict showed on his face.

Gaster sighed. “You can be carried back, too, you know.”

Sans’ eyes lit up. “Walk there. Carried back.”

–

**“OFF WE GO THEN.”**

**Papyrus smiled and hovered a little, waiting to be sure that the young Sans got onto his crutches okay before they left the house and moved towards the ruins. He tried to keep his pace slow, but it was hard when his legs were so long.**

**Once they were all gone Gaster looked at his counterpart and stood. “͢You'̸ll͜ h̨a͞ve t̵o fil͠l̕ ͝me͘ i̶n͟ ǫn̨ h̡ow͢ f͝a̸r͜ y͡o̷ư'v̛e go͝tte͝n͠.̨"̵**

**–**

Papyrus helped his brother attach his braces and get into his crutches without any trouble, and ran off a moment to pick up a small strapped bag with the words “SANS EMERGENCY MED KIT” written on the side before trotting off along with his sibling.

Though Sans was still pretty small, especially compared to the alternate Papyrus, he had an energy in him that his older counterpart lacked, and easily kept up with Papyrus’ strides. He did seem to enjoy heading out an awful lot.

Once they were gone, Gaster turned and listened to his double, nodding. _'I’ve gotten a lot farther than what you saw last time, at least. I’m not sure how similar it is to your design, but I’d appreciate a second opinion. I’m working on a pressure chamber to contain and concentrate the steam at the moment.'_

–

**It was a little bittersweet for both of the brothers to see just how much energy this Sans had. It reminded them of when they were young, when Sans ended up holding down however many jobs just to get them a place to live or warm food in their stomachs.**

**But… no need to dwell on that now.**

**Once they came to the ruins Papyrus paused and looked down at the two children.**

**“TO KEEP FROM HAVING ANY ACCIDENTS WE’LL DO ONE AT A TIME. WHO WANTS TO GO FIRST?”**

**Back at the apartment, Gaster nodded.** **‘Alright. Should I… just teleport to where our machine is sitting? I don’t imagine I will be very welcome. Especially if there’s so much… tension there.’**

**–**

Sans and Papyrus looked at each other, silently communicating a moment before Papyrus slowly raised his hand. Sans wanted every excuse to be carried back, and if that meant going second and pretending he’d gotten tired or drained his infinite magical reserves? Then that’s what he’d do.

Gaster nodded, sighing. ' _Yeah. Teleport there. I’ll have to come in the front. I… have to be seen, at least somewhat.'_

He shuddered, as if even attracting attention at all was a thought both foreign and terrifying to him. _'And if someone does try anything, uh. Feel free to hit them with bones and help me out. That’s all.'_

–

**“OKAY THEN. GO AHEAD AND STEP OUT THERE AND SHOW ME WHAT YOU CAN DO FIRST. BUT BE CAREFUL!” Papyrus said, taking a step back to stand beside his brother…s.**

**Gaster looked shocked.** _**‘Holy shit it’s THAT fucking bad? They’re attacking you?’** _

**–**

Papyrus stepped forward cautiously, glancing back at the brother(s) and fidgeting a bit. Show them what he could do??? “UH…” he said after a long moment. “…START WITH WHAT?”

Gaster shrugged. _'It’s mostly the… very upset ones who think I’m trying to sabotage any hope we had to reach the surface and survive there? But honestly, not often. But. Enough that I’m. Cautious and don’t bring the kids there.'_

To make his point, he tapped the widening skull crack on his right side.

–

**“HMM… HOW ABOUT THIS?”**

**Papyrus stepped forward again, wanting to get away from their fragile brothers before summoning a bone into his hand. “CAN YOU DO THAT?”**

**Gaster winced,** _**‘I see. Well. At least I can probably scare them off.’** _ **He grinned and gave his twin a knowing look.**

**–**

Quickly, Papyrus summoned an exact replica of his doppleganger’s bone.

Sans, having found a seat on some rubble, snorted.

 _'They probably won’t headbutt you at least,_ ' Gaster grinned in reply.

–

**His double took a seat right beside him, arms lazily hanging over his legs. “don’t worry about it. i told you your little bro was always the cooler one, didn’t i?” He gave the little Sans a sideways glance.**

**“GOOD!” Papyrus smiled, then made a motion with his wrist and the bone turned blue. “HOW ABOUT THAT?”**

**‘ _I’m glad I can’t taste things anymore. That was really gross._ ’** **Gaster chuckled.**

**–**

Sans furrowed his brow in confusion. “yeah?”

Papyrus blinked a moment. Glancing between his bone and the one Papyrus held. After a few moments of making faces, he said, “….HOW’S IT WORK?”

 _'You say it was gross',_ Gaster said, _'I was the one with your face-jam in my scars.'_

–

**“yeah.” Sans repeated, smiling. “but that’s good, ‘cause that means you got the coolest person in the world watchin’ your back.”**

**“DO YOU FEEL THE ENERGY IN YOUR SOUL WHEN YOU SUMMON AN ATTACK?” Papyrus asked, a hand reaching up to touch his chest.**

**Gaster’s body rippled with revulsion at the thought.**

**–**

Sans huffed again, but nodded. “i know…. m still worried about him.”

Papyrus nodded, mimicking the gesture.

Gaster laughed.

He had won this round.

–

**“yeah…” Sans said, leaning back a little. He scuffed at the dirt with his slippers. “you always will be. it’s what brothers do.”**

**“GOOD. NOW FEEL THAT ENERGY AND CHANGE IT.” He flipped his bone back to normal. “YOU SUMMON THIS ONE AND YOU KNOW WHAT IT WILL DO. IT’S SOLID. BUT THEN-” He flipped his wrist, turning it blue. “FEEL IN YOUR SOUL THAT YOU WILL MAKE SOMETHING DIFFERENT. MAKE SOMETHING THAT ONLY YOU CAN TOUCH. SOMETHING THAT EVERYONE ELSE CAN PASS THROUGH, BUT SOMETHING THAT BURNS WHEN THEY DO.”**

**He held it down towards Papyrus. “DO YOU KNOW WHAT BLUE ATTACKS DO?”**

**Gaster waved off his twin.** _**‘I’ll see you at the lab.’** _

**He turned, teleporting back into the room his covered time machine sat.**

**–**

Sans accepted that after a moment, nodding. “…what d’you do when your papyrus has nightmares?”

Papyrus squeezed his eyes closed, trying hard to concentrate on the instructions. But when the question was asked, he shook his head.

Gaster sighed and headed out, arriving at the same room a little under an hour later. _'Hey.'_

–

**Sans looked only slightly surprised at the question. “pap has never really had nightmares, but i do. and y’know what he does?” He said, waiting for a moment before continuing.**

**“he hugs me. tells me that what it was wasn’t real. makes sure i know what world i’m in. doesn’t let me linger on it. nightmares are just nightmares.” He lied, somewhat anyway. “you just gotta remind him that you’re his bro and you love ‘im and it wasn’t real.”**

**“IT BURNS, BUT ONLY IF YOU MOVE THROUGH IT.” Papyrus explained, the blue bone in his hand fading a bit to become much less intense. “IMAGINE IF MY ARM WAS YOURS.”**

**He held his arm out and put the bone through it, the entire thing phasing around it. “AS LONG AS I DON’T MOVE, IT WOULDN’T HURT ME. BUT THEN-” He moved his arm out. “IF I MOVED WHILE I WAS INSIDE IT, IT WOULD BURN. DO YOU UNDERSTAND?”**

**By the time his double arrived Gaster had plenty of time to reform his body. He gave a wave.**

**–**

“and if they were real?” Sans said, clearly paying close attention to the advice. “i mean. he’s not there anymore,but it happened.”

Papyrus nodded, eyes widening in delight at an attack that wouldn’t actually hurt anyone. He redoubled his efforts, concentrating, and trying to turn the bone in his hand Blue.

Gaster waved back. _'Have you looked over things while I was on my way?'_

He signed partly out of habit and preference, but also because it probably wouldn’t do for anyone to hear him talking to someone else in a supposedly empty room.

–

**“they’re not happening anymore, so it’s alright.” Sans said with a shrug, “it’s in the past. tell ‘im he’s got no reason to worry now that you’re around.”**

**Papyrus waited patiently and would wait for as long as he needed. Even if only a tiny bit turned blue, that was a good enough start. “YOU CAN ALSO TRY AND SUMMON ONE FROM SCRATCH. SOMETIMES THAT’S EASIER.”**

**_‘Yeah. It’s looking pretty good. Not exactly the same as mine but I found only a few things you’re gonna regret later._ ’ ** **Gaster pulled out the notepad from his chest and flipped to a few pages, walking over to his double to show him.**

**It was only a few things, but it would help in the long run. One of the channels the power would be going through wasn’t enough to withstand it and would fail. It would, probably, need a few more just to divert everything to more manageable levels.**

**The only other thing was that he had some faulty wiring that would need to be fixed.**

**–**

Sans nodded. “okay.” He turned back to watch the Papyru work. “…he can do a lot already.”

Nodding, Papyrus dismissed his current bone and tried to summon a blue one instead. He instinctively ended up summoning yet another smooth, normal white bone. He dismissed that one again, trying repeatedly to summon something at least flickering of blue.

Gaster sighed but looked over the notes. Even if it was difficult and a pain to fix some of it, it’d be much more worth it to fix things now, rather than build more upon a faulty system. At least it all seemed simple enough.

He rolled up his sleeves, handed his notes back to his double, and got to work.

–

**“yeah. you’ll be able to too.” Sans smiled and reached out to pat his double on the shoulder. “that’s what i’m here to help with.”**

**“DON’T STRAIN YOURSELF. REMEMBER, THIS IS ABOUT CONTROL.” Papyrus reminded and continued patiently waiting. “IT’S OKAY TO TRY AGAIN LATER.”**

**Gaster helped as much as he could, spending a lot of his time watching his counterpart and making sure his plans were alright. Occasionally he would wander off, removing a panel here or there and checking the wiring and power flow, just to be sure.**

**His core had been built up over something that wasn’t entirely stable, so if he could help it he wanted his twin to be able to avoid that.**

**–**

Sans smiled up a bit at his double, nodding. “right. and to give me donuts and teach me bad habits.”

Papyrus nodded, but kept trying, determined to get it a little bit right.

He talked with his double as they went, trying to get help brainstorming solutions to what was becoming this world’s core. Two Gasters were definitely better than one in this case, and even if his double didn’t give outright answers, it was nice to have someone to bounce ideas off.

–

**“exactly.” Sans grinned.**

**The Gaster who had sassed him before and not wanting to spoonfeed him seemed to be gone. The situation with Papyrus had more or less thrown that entirely out the window. He didn’t care if it was cheating, he was going to help this poor fucker as much as he could.**

**Of course, that didn’t mean he just gave him the answer. He was very, very, very adamant that he sat with his double and made sure he understood every little detail he was saying. His counterpart had to know how and why every piece worked how it did.**

**–**

Sans raised his hand for a high-five.

Finally, Papyrus gave up, hanging his head and looking disappointed in himself. He looked up at his double, waiting to be told what to do next or see if he would be scolded. He didn’t think he’d be scolded, but–but the thought did occur to him. But Sans was there, so even if that happened, it would be okay, and he could call Gaster, and things would work out fine.

Honestly?

It was probably the most enjoyable time Gaster’d had working on a project in a while.

He loved knowing. He loved the discovery. He loved figuring out how things worked. But between CS-1, his emotionally draining paper research, and the amount of effort the core required when he was only one individual trying to care for two kids in the middle of a messed up situation–

It was just really fucking nice for him to be able to sit down with a project that’d frustrated him for a while, and talk to someone who knew what the fuck they were talking about. He didn’t mind things being explained, in fact, half the time he was asking questions before his counterpart started explaining. A few times they ran into a difference in their universe–a lack of rubber or an overabundance of tin, a river vein running in Waterfall where the other had never observed one.

But that just meant a few more minutes of kicking a solution back and forth.

And it was just really fucking nice.

–

**Sans high-fived his little double back.**

**“A GREAT FIRST ATTEMPT.” Papyrus beamed, patting his twin on the back. “NOW ONTO THE NEXT CHALLENGE. WHAT ABOUT THIS?” He asked, shaking off the little one’s failure as though it never even happened.**

**He summoned forth a very neat, orderly row of bones from the ground in front of them, well away from where their brothers sat.**

**Even Gaster had a couple of other monsters on the core project with him. His doppelganger was just a single man. A single man with two little mouths to feed and care for, one in a horrible physical state while the other was in an even worse mental state.**

**He had never had to go through that. He had gone through things on a very different level. The two couldn’t even be compared.**

**Gaster found himself not at all thinking about fixing his machine or going home.**

**–**

Sans decided he grew up to be a pretty cool dude.

Papyrus relaxed a bit, smiling faintly up at his double, and produced a row of bones easily. It seemed that as long as the attack was ‘normal’ bullet pattern, he had a pretty good grasp of it.

Finally, even Gaster admitted they probably needed a break. He sat back from the project and wiped his face a bit, clearing off some grease, and turned to his double. “So, how bad’s your ship this time?”

He got up to grab something to drink as he spoke. He really was burning through energy a lot more these days.

–

**“GOOD. NOW, ZIG-ZAG.” Papyrus said, pushing the row of bones down to summon another, these all coming up at an angle, one going one direction and the next going the opposite.**

**“Hm?” Gaster said, apparently not even thinking about it. “Oh, not bad. A few things will need to be replaced.” He pulled out his tablet and ran down the list the boys had given him. “We can fix it pretty quickly when we have to.”**

**“We’re not in a big hurry to get home though. At least I’m not. I know the boys really wanna help your Pap too.”**

**–**

Papyrus nodded, dismissing and resummoning the bones just as his double had, sending them moving in different directions. He smiled a little bit as he did so, feeling just a bit accomplished now that things weren’t so frustrating.

Gaster nodded. “Let me know if you need any parts. And…. we really appreciate it. Seriously. Papyrus is already acting different after being around yours for just a day.”

He smiled as he said it. It was really, really nice to see Papyrus trusting someone else, finally. He’d hate to separate them anytime soon.

–

**“GOOD!” Papyrus grinned, “NOW DO YOU HAVE PROPER CONTROL OVER YOUR BLASTERS? CAN YOU POINT THEM IN A SAFE DIRECTION?” He asked, but didn’t ask for him to summon them.**

**“Yeah, Paps said he had a talk with him last night. Or something akin to that. He’s really good at making people feel at ease.”**

**He leaned forward a bit, arms resting on his knees. Then, after a moment, he pulled out his notebook and quickly started scribbling into it. He had just gotten an idea and didn’t want to lose it.**

**–**

Papyrus nodded, turned away from the  other three entirely, and summoned them. He was so used to summoning them on command, he hardly even registered that they hadn’t even been asked for.

They were large, not as large as the other Gaster’s, but larger than his own Gaster’s. Their jaws never quite closed and they still glimmered with excess energy, and were smooth like they were made from secondhand reference.

Just as Sans ducked his head and covered his ears, Papyrus’ blaster let off a beam of energy that traveled across the ruin and slammed into a distant building, sending it crashing down.

Gaster nodded, _'I can tell.'_

He didn’t mind at all when his double suddenly ignored the conversation and went for a notebook. He knew the feeling. Instead, he went along with his short break, getting somewhat cleaned up and reenergized for another round with the machine.

–

**Papyrus blinked but tried not to show his surprise on his face. “WELL YOU’RE DEFINITELY GOOD WITH THOSE. BETTER THAN I AM, I THINK.”**

**“nah, you’re still good with blasters, bro.” Sans said as he flicked one of his slippers on and off his foot boredly.**

**“I’VE ONLY USED THEM MAYBE TWICE.”**

**Sans just shrugged. Papyrus rolled his eyes, he hated it when Sans tried to be overly complimentative to him.**

**“WELL THOSE ARE ALL THE BASICS I KNOW ABOUT. IS THERE ANYTHING YOU KNOW THAT I DON’T? I’M SURE OUR MAGIC DIFFERS TO SOME DEGREE.”**

**After a few moments of scribbling Gaster stopped, looked at his covered time machine, then started again. A few moments after that and he closed it and put it back into his chest.**

**“Before I go home I’m going to make you something that will give you a direct line to our machine and monitor for resets.” He said suddenly.**

**–**

Papyrus watched the exchange and then nodded when Papyrus asked if he could do more. It wasn’t really a huge variation from from what they’d already done, but… well, all the attacks so far had been about the same size, barring his blasters, which were different entirely.

Facing the same way as he had with his blasters, Papyrus steeled himself, and a host of bones burst up through the ground. He hadn’t at all practiced not harming the environment he used magic in, so when the bones burst up, bits of dirt flew up with them. They were sharp, not unlike the bones the alternate Gaster tended to summon, and wide. A forest of skewers at least as tall as the boy himself.

He looked up to the other Papyrus for approval.

Gaster blinked, “Oh.”

He looked down and thought on that for a moment. “…so we can watch for the anomaly? And what then?”

–

**Papyrus blinked and even Sans sat up a little.**

**“WOWIE. THOSE ARE LIKE DADS.” He looked back at his brother.**

**“yeah they are.”**

**“OH!” He suddenly looked as though he remembered something. “I HAVE MY OWN SPECIAL TRICK!”**

**He summoned a few bones from the ground, only these spelled out ‘COOL DUDE’. He gestured to them, grinning. “HOW ABOUT THAT?”**

**“Yeah.” Gaster said, “Just so you have warning. I also want to figure out how to make it so we’re alerted if it shows up in this timeline too. That way we can come help.”**

**“I already know how to kill it, in theory.”**

**–**

Papyrus applauded, fully enthused. He had already learned how to read some time ago, and using an attack to spell out words……

it was genius.

He turned towards his Sans, eyes wide.

Sans shifted. “…bro…. no……”

Papyrus nodded slowly.

“….ok but not right now.”

That was accepted. He went back to giving a big thumbs-up to his counterpart.

Gaster nodded slowly, digesting his counterpart’s words. “That… would be better than any alternative.”

He was still uncomfortable with the idea of killing something that…. looked very much like Chara. But he understood.

–

**Papyrus gave his double a thumbs up before his ‘attack’ vanished. “NOW BEFORE WE START SPARRING… I NEED TO BE SURE.” He knelt down a little to be more eye level with his young twin.**

**“WILL YOU BE OKAY IF THINGS START COMING TOWARDS YOU? YOU NEED TO REMAIN CALM AT ALL TIMES. CAN YOU DO THAT?”**

**Gaster knew his counterpart well enough to know what he was feeling. “Yeah. I’ll hopefully deal with it.”**

**It’s not like he hadn’t before, after all.**

**–**

Papyrus nodded, fully determined to do his elder self proud. He made a gesture though, one that seemed to ask, ‘and you?’

Gaster nodded. “Good luck. Again. Just let me know if you need anything.”

–

**“YOU HAVE NO NEED TO WORRY ABOUT ME.” Papyrus smiled and stood upright to begin putting distance between them and their brothers. “LET’S GIVE OUR BROTHERS SOME ROOM.”**

**“Yep. Thanks. I will.” He said, although he didn’t know what his double could ever give him, then he smiled and rubbed the back of his neck.**

**“This is actually the best thing that’s happened since the time machine was a success. It’s nice to have a break.”**

**–**

Papyrus nodded, following him further away.

Sans nudged his elder. “hey. get up. let’s get behind a better rock.”

Gaster snorted. “Other dimensions aren’t as nice as this?”

He meant it a little ironically, but still, he was curious.

–

**“hm? alright.” Sans said, having had his eyes closed to doze. He stood and leaned down, offering to let his smaller self climb onto his back so he could carry him away.**

**“they won’t be able to hit us though. i can get us out of the way before anything happens.”**

**Gaster laughed, “Before this one we were searching timelines close to ours. The closer you search to your own timeline, the less variance there is between them. They were all pretty… uh, well, I’ve watched my son absolutely freak out that his dad was alive again one too many times. It got pretty draining, so I stopped being the one to give them ‘the talk’, if you remember what we had been saying the first time we crashed into your lab.”**

**“It’s nice not to have to hide. It’s nice to see a version of myself who isn’t fucking dead.” He laughed, “It’s nice to see the boys as kids again, even if things… aren’t very good for them right now.”**

**–**

Sans climbed happily onto his back and said, “good for you.”

Gaster made a small sound. “…that’s weird to think about. That there are… so few of us, I mean. Gasters. That there’s tons of universes out there with our kids, but not… it’s weird to think that in an infinite universe of possibilities, there’s just…. a handful of us?”

–

**“hey, maybe you’ll get good at dodging someday. it’s the sans special.” He grinned as they walked in the opposite direction of Papyrus.**

**“WE’RE STARTING OUT VERY SLOW. EVEN IF YOU’RE STRONG, YOU HAVE TO KNOW THE VERY BASICS.” Papyrus said as they walked, “HOW TO DODGE, HOW TO PARRY, AND WHAT ATTACKS TO USE WHEN.”**

**“So far, as long as I know.” Gaster frowned and shrugged. “I mean, we’ve been doing this for over a year now. I know the multiverse is infinite, but so far this is the only one I’ve found where I haven’t fell into the core or sucked into a time machine or god knows what else.” He made an exasperated gesture with his hands.**

**–**

Sans stuck out his tongue. “i gotta get faster, first.”

Papyrus nodded, still paying very close attention. “…WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO?”

Gaster laughed. It cracked in the middle. “So we’re all scientists. And we all die by it? Wow. We’re great.”

–

**“you will.” Sans said with a smile. Once he deemed them far enough away he ducked behind a building and set his twin down before sitting beside him.**

**“SUMMON AN ATTACK.” Papyrus said, doing the same and forming a bone in his hand, then taking a few steps back. “NOW I WANT YOU TO BLOCK ME BUT** **DO NOT** **USE ANYTHING BUT THE ATTACK IN YOUR HAND.”**

**Gaster couldn’t help but laugh too. “Yep. Fuckin’… pile of geniuses.”**

**–**

Sans settled down beside him, pretty content with the distance they had and that reassurance.

Papyrus nodded and summoned up a bone of his own, taking a step back to get a more balanced stance instinctively.

Gaster chuckled. “…if you find any other Gasters out there who’re alive and not total fuck ups….  maybe you can help them. Give ‘em my number or something. Think you can rig up an interdimensional phoneline?”

–

**Papyrus did the same. “READY?”**

**He waited for an affirmative before his bone came striking downwards towards his twin. He was very strong, but very,** **very** **much in control of his movements. Even if the child didn’t block in time his arm would stop inches away before he could ever strike him.**

**The doctor laughed, “Yeah I’ll figure something out. If I’m not going to help them not get themselves killed like an idiot, who will?”**

**–**

Papyrus gave the affirmative, and–

Wow, getting things coming flying at him was a lot scarier than he thought it’d be?!

He raised the bone to block in time, but his grip was weak, and only slowed the attack and absorbed some of the force, not enough to deflect or fully stop it.

Gaster shook his head. “It’s a truly dire straight when that’s our last line of defense.”

–

**Despite his double’s inability to fully stop it, it never collided with him. “GOOD!” Papyrus said, grinning. “KEEP YOUR WRIST STEADY. DON’T LET IT CARRY THE WHOLE FORCE OF THE BLOW. USE THE STRENGTH OF YOUR ARM AND THEN PUSH ME BACK AS HARD AS YOU CAN.”**

**“Yeeeeeah…” Gaster said, sounding annoyed at himself and every other Gaster he ever knew, or didn’t know, existed.**

**Damn himself.**

**–**

Papyrus nodded, taking a deep breath, and pushed back as hard as he could.

Gaster grinned at him. “Don’t like people adding to your workload?”

–

**Even though he could have easily resisted, he didn’t. Papyrus eased up his arm before pulling it away entirely. “GOOD!” He said again, straightening up. “I’M GOING TO SWING AT YOU AGAIN, KEEP DOING WHAT YOU’RE DOING.”**

**This time he swung his attack towards his double’s side. But, just like before, it would stop before it could ever hit him.**

**“Eh.” Gaster shrugged, “I’d feel like a dick if I didn’t help myself out.”**

**–**

Papyrus nodded and braced himself. He was startled when the swing came from a different direction, but managed to get there in time. THe block was a bit more stable this time, but would still need practice.

“You’d feel like it rather than just existing in that state, you mean?” Gaster said, though he was smiling as he did.

–

**Papyrus praised his double once more, making him do much the same and use what strength he had to push him away. After that he would continue his attacks for some time, waiting until his tiny counterpart was comfortable with it and could block without seeming startled.**

**Even if he grew tired before that happened, that was fine. Once he tired enough he would call it enough and give him a break so the two Sanses could have their turn.**

**Gaster chuckled, although it sounded a little sad. “Pretty much.”**

**He seemed to have… issues with his current body, despite how much he said he didn’t care.**

**–**

Papyrus gradually grew more confident in his blocks and no longer looked as startled when something came his way or the direction changed. He was definitely growing tired, but was pushing on without complaing,despite it.

Gaster frowned at that tone, realizing that as much as he’d gotten comfortable trading duel-edged barbs with his twin, some sort of nerve had been touched there that he himself hadn’t felt. “…what’s with that tone?”

–

**Papyrus wasn’t about to work the kid into exhaustion. After a bit more practice, he stopped and the bone in his hand vanished. “OKAY, I THINK IT’S TIME FOR A BREAK. SHALL WE GO GET OUR BROTHERS?”**

**He hadn’t even broken a sweat, although that was hardly surprising given he was training a child.**

**Gaster thought about saying ‘nothing’, but… he knew his double well enough that it would go nowhere.**

**“Just… yeah. I don’t wish this on anyone.” He smiled a little, but it was strained.**

**–**

Papyrus was…. a little upset he hadn’t been able to tire his elder self out at all, when he felt so tired. Was he doing something wrong? Still, he nodded a moment later, trusting that the other Papyrus knew when to take a break. He was in charge right now, so he probably knew best.

Sans looked up as they approached, finally waking up a bit after he’d started dozing around the third time his Papyrus had successfully parried.

Gaster looked on and nodded. “…it’s good you’re helping them. Even if you fail, they can at least have some warning. Sometimes, that’s enough.”

–

**The older Sans had done much the same, his head slumped until he heard his brother’s voice pierce the air.**

**“WAKE UP, LAZYBONES. TIME TO GET TO WORK.”**

**“alright.” Sans said, yawning and standing. He helped his counterpart to his feet.**

**“I fuckin’ hope so.” Gaster said, looking over at the other. This was the first Gaster he met and he… desperately wanted him to avoid the same fate.**

**–**

Sans was up and walking back around in his crutches with ease a few moments later, grinning at the Papyru. “that was cool,” he said before heading out to the place where they’d stood with his double.

Papyrus took the place where Sans had previously sat, picking the emergency med back up and holding it in his lap again, just in case.

Gaster nodded sharply. “It’s enough,” he said, as if he really meant it.  

–  
  


**Sans walked along with his doppelganger to where they originally stood. “so how much do you know, kiddo?” He asked, “we’ll run down the same list as the paps did.”**

**Gaster gave his counterpart a nod.**

**He… he really fucking hoped so.**


	11. Fear and Loathing pt 6

Sans nodded, “i know some stuff. not like papyrus. what first?”

Gaster watched his twin a moment longer, then sighed. “It’s going to be fine. You’ll see. There’s nothing worrying will do right now.”

–

**“let’s do the bone thing.” Sans said, summoning a bone in his hand. “can you do that?”**

**His was much smaller than his brother’s, but at the same time he was smaller overall.**

**“Yeah. You’re right.”**

**Gaster stood and walked back over to the machine to continue what they were doing. Even if his double needed a break, he didn’t, and he needed to keep his mind busy.**

**–**

Sans nodded, freeing one hand from his crutches and putting his whole weight on the other one, before summoning a bone. He twirled it a bit, grinning.

Gaster watched him work, and finished his drink. “…what other projects do you have right now?”

–

**Sans smiled back and did the same, then dismissed it and summoned a blue one instead. “can you do blue attacks at all?”**

**“Right now? Not much. I made a limitless power supply once we reached the surface which is… probably pretty illegal in some way, but fuck it. The humans can choke on it if they think I’m paying for power after they sealed us in a mountain.” Gaster said as he worked, “Other than that I’ve been reading up on all the new technology I’ve missed out on, catching up onto current events. The boys know a lot more about it than I do.”**

**–**

“i’ve never tried,” he said, and dismissed his bone to summon a new one. He’d been paying attention while the Papyru were practicing, at least at the blue attack part, and remembered the advice, but…. he hadn’t expected it to be kind of easy?

The bone in his hand started out blue and then flickered into white. It stayed it’s second color, but the blue had most definitely been there.

Gaster nodded along as he listened to his double speak. He made a face as he headed back to resume working on the machine, as if he had something to say but was unsure of it.

–

**“hey, check that out. first try.” Sans said with a grin. “see? you and your bro have different strengths. try it again. see if you can get it to stick.”**

**Gaster glanced back just in time to see that face.**

**“Go on now. Don’t puss out.” He teased.**

**–**

Sans nodded, and dismissed the bone, trying to summon it again. It was sort of weird? Almost like he was trying too hard to get a bone, and it came out white. But when he just sort of…. halfway reached for one, the blue came easier. Like it wasn’t really fully there. The second bone flickered blue a bit longer than the first.

“Shut it,” Gaster said, rolling his eyes. “I know I might regret asking and am trying to decide if I want to risk it or not.”

–

**“nice. keep goin’. see if you can make it stick.” Sans encouraged. He had dismissed his own attack and shoved his hands into his pockets to watch.**

**Gaster merely gave his double a look as though to say ‘dude I showed you my soul, how bad is this going to be?’, but didn’t pry. He figured it would come out eventually.**

**–**

Papyrus, from the sidelines, watched as the older Sans dismissed his attack.

“………………HE’S JUST USING IT AS AN EXCUSE TO NOT WORK?” he said in as much of a whisper as he could to his double.

Sans continued trying to summon blue bones, each one lasting a bit longer than the rest until finally he had one that seemed like it might stay blue indefinitely.

Gaster gave him a sharp look back and scowled. He looked away.

Finally, he said it.

“…what’s the surface like?”

–

**Papyrus looked at his double. “NYEH-HEH-HEH! NO, NOT THIS TIME. IT’S JUST STRAINING FOR HIM TO KEEP AN ATTACK UP WHEN HE ISN’T USING IT. HE’S SAVING HIS ENERGY.”**

**After the attack stayed blue, Sans’ smile broadened a little. “nice. good job kid.”**

**“now do the same as the paps did.” He summoned a straight line of attacks from the ground, although his bones were different heights and sort of lazily placed in what could maybe resemble a line.**

**Gaster stopped what he was doing.**

**Oh.**

**Well didn’t he feel like a shithead.**

**“… It’s nice.” He finally said, then went right back to work. “I recommend it. I’m sure the air is probably amazing. Seeing the stars again was always a very big motivator for me, so… it’s nice.”**

**“In my world humans lost their ability to use magic, but, uh, I’m not entirely comfortable being around them so I haven’t gone far from the house much.”**

**“The sun probably feels nice.”**

**The way he used ‘probably’ meant that he wasn’t too sure. He could be stabbed and his head could be torn off without pain, that much was obvious, so unfortunately that meant he couldn’t feel much at all. And judging by how distorted his voice could become, he apparently didn’t really need air either.**

**–**

“OH,” Papyrus said, and returned to watching the two.

Sans did the same, just sort of scattering his bones about. A couple of them floated pretty willy-nilly. He hadn’t ever been too concerned about organization, as long as thy kinda hit their target.

Gaster stopped pretending to try and work and just listened to his counterpart’s explanation. It wasn’t a lot to go on, not really. Not that he could blame the other, but… still. At least it was something.

“…do the stars really look like the crystals down here?” he asked. “The ones in the wishing rooms?”

–

**“good.” Sans said, dismissing his attacks. “now criss-cross.” He said, haphazardly crossing his bones this way and that in a line.**

**“There are some similarities. They glow similar but they’re much smaller and some are brighter than the crystals. You can always tell how far the crystals are, but not the stars. They’re so far away and so bright it’s impossible.”**

**He stopped what he was doing to pull out his tablet and began tapping at the screen. After a moment he handed it over to his double and pressed the large ‘play’ button in the center.**

**It was a video. The sky was dark, illuminated by nothing but the stars and moon. The shadows of the trees overhead blocked some of the sky, but otherwise it was clear to see. It panned from side to side and back and forth, taking in as much of the sky as possible that could be seen from around the trees.**

**There was the sound of crickets and bugs and the crackling of a fire nearby, as well as the faint conversation between Sans and Papyrus as they argued over something about roasting marshmallows.**

**A moment later and the video stopped.**

**–**

Gleefully, Sans just let his bones loose to bounce up and down, left and right, moving in whatever way pleased him at the moment. It looked a bit more like a carnival than a battle technique. Still. It’d be hell for anyone to try and dodge through.

Gaster watched.

Focused on the stars. On the silhouette of trees. The familiar voices of crickets and–and the laughter from two kids he was only just getting to really know.

When the video stopped, he was quiet for a while, just watching the screen.

“Haha,” he said, after a long moment. His voice cracked, but he did his best to hold it steady. “Are you telling me it’s fucking dark on the surface, too?”

–

**Sans blinked, “kid, that’s… that’s pretty cool.” He grinned, “i need to learn to do that.”**

**“SANS.”**

**The older brother waved off Papyrus’ concerns. “try and make ‘em like mine though or paps’ll have my head.”**

**At that Gaster laughed and took his tablet, switching to another video before handing it over. “No. This is a sunrise.”**

**The video began with the screen facing what looked like a backyard. It had a tiny fence around it and a single tree, as well as a few flowers and a bench to sit on. This video was much longer, Gaster staying perfectly still as he filmed the sunrise.**

**The horizon went from black to dark blue, to purple and then red, orange, and yellow. He filmed it all until the sun was peeking over the horizon.**

**“I like to film the sky a lot. But I have some trips back up the mountain too if you want to see those. Or… god. The ones where Sans videos me outside being scared shitless.” He rolled his eyes at himself.**

**–**

Sans nodded, grinning, and took a moment to try and reign his magic in more. It was actually a lot harder to keep things perfectly in line, or–’perfectly’ in line, but he managed it after a few moments of concentration.

“I…” Gaster said. His voice cracked again. “…No. No thank you. I shouldn’t have asked.”

He tried, his hands shaking, to turn back to the machine he had in front of himself, trying to blink back something in his eyes.

–

**“okay. good. now make ‘em blue.” Sans said, putting down one row of attacks to spring forth another, but these were blue.**

**“… Ah. Sorry.” Gaster said, taking the device back and quickly storing it.**

**He had gotten a little too enthusiastic.**

**–**

Sans blinked up at his counterpart,”uh” and… dismissed the bones, trying to turn them blue.

… “weell. uh. about half of those are blue-ish, right?”

Turned out it was really hard reaching for a wall of bones without reeaally reaching for a wall of bones.

Gaster shook his head quickly. “It’s fine. I knew this would happen.”

He reached for a sprocket wrench and ended up rubbing the heels of his palms into his eyesockets instead.

–

**“that’s not bad for a first try. you’ll get the hang of it eventually.” Sans said with a shrug, dismissing his own attacks. “now, uh, how are you with handling your blasters?”**

**Just like Papyrus had, he didn’t specifically ask for them to be summoned.**

**Gaster merely nodded and turned to continue working, letting his twin have a moment.**

**He felt a little bad, but… well, hopefully his double would see the stars one day too. Maybe that was a constant for Gasters.**

**Maybe he had fucked up that possibility by fucking with this timeline and helping out himself. Maybe they would be stuck here forever because of hi-**

**No. No that was a very bad train of thought. He should stop that.**

**–**

Unlike Papyrus, Sans wasn’t exactly used to pulling out his Blasters at any given moment, so he just nodded and said, “yeah, gaster helped me with ‘em. they aren’t as strong as either of his or paps’s but they’re fine.”

Gaster took a deep breath, slowly pulling himself together.

He knew he shouldn’t have asked. He knew he was just asking for more pain if he did. He knew monsters were all going to spend the rest of their lives in the dark, and things were safer that way, and all he could do was just try and keep everyone comfortable, but–

But when his twin had walked out of the time machine for the first time all those months ago and so assuredly talked about reaching the surface after a thousand years underground….

The thought had stuck with him. Wondering if he’d survive to see the surface. When all his life he’d been telling himself it was best to stay underground. But how could he try to deny people what was shown so casually in those videos?

…how different was a sunrise in person?

He choked again, and clenched his hands, trying to will them to stop shaking.

He still had work to do.

He quietly picked up his socket wrench again and got back to it.

–

**“okay good.” Sans said, happy that the kid didn’t instantly pull out his blasters to show them off. “now seeing as how we’re not quite like our paps, what i’m gonna do with you will be a bit different.” He began, “‘cause first you’re gonna have to get the hang’a walkin’ in general before you can start learnin’ all the fancy footwork i do.”**

**“guys like us can’t just sit and take it. ya gotta be light on your feet.”**

**Gaster did his best to ignore his double. If he was anything like himself, and he was in a few ways, he would probably just need some space and time to deal with what he saw.**

**He just hoped that, someday, he did get to see the stars. Hopefully his boys would be there with him too.**

**Silently he continued working.**

**–**

Sans nodded. “okay. so we’re done?”

He grinned like it was a joke, even though he was a little bit disappointed.

This was a painful silence.

It needed to fucking stop.

Usually he might play music in the lab if he were fully alone, but, well–not today. That would probably just emphasize how terrible he felt, and–judging by his twins’ expression–and his twin’s guilt.

Finally, he sighed and lowered the wrench. “So… we should probably figure out something else to say, huh.”

He was an excellent conversationalist.

–

**“i guess so. wow. what a workout.” Sans grinned and rocked on his heels before turning to walk towards the Papyru.**

**“MAYBE WE SHOULD SHOW THEM HOW WE SPAR?” Papyrus offered, his brother stopping in his tracks. Of course Papyrus would want to keep sparring.**

**Of course.**

**Sans sighed through his teeth. “do i actually get to answer that question or have you decided already, pap?”**

**Papyrus smiled, “NOPE! WE’RE SPARRING.” He stood up.**

**“If you feel like we need to, sure.” Gaster said, any sort of silence comfortable for him. He had been in the void for so long silence never bothered him, even if all other parties found it strange or discomforting.**

**“You could ask me more questions or, uh… I could ask you more.” He continued working, one of the panels being screwed back into place after he finished mucking about with the inner workings. “What about your parents? You said they were good monsters, right?”**

**He hoped that wasn’t a sore spot.**

**–**

Papyrus looked up in alarm, grabbing his Papyrus’ arm. “BUT WHAT IF YOU HURT SANS!?”

He knew both older versions were a lot tougher than him or Sans as they were, but….. that Sans was still a 1HP monster. And Papyrus was still about as strong as a monster could be!

Meanwhile, his own brother Sans snorted and began making his way towards his sibling, rolling his eyes as he navigated over the rubble. “you better kick his butt, older me.”

Gaster blinked, surprised at the topic his twin chose. “Ah. Yes. They were. They…. managed to get themselves in charge of most homeless child monsters, actually. And if you were anything like I was as a child, you know the patience it takes to deal with us, so… they had a lot on their plate, but they remained very kind. They were good people.”

He managed to smile a bit.

–

**Papyrus looked down at his twin and just smiled, “I WON’T, DON’T WORRY! BESIDES, I’VE BEEN UNABLE TO ACTUALLY EVEN GET CLOSE TO HITTING SANS FOR YEARS NOW.”**

**“i’m too lazy to kick butts. but i can mildly annoy him.” Sans grinned.**

**Gaster thought about that for a moment before he smiled too. “I don’t think I was, honestly. I was a really good kid. Did everything my parents said. Still got into some trouble as boys do, but…” He shrugged and then couldn’t help but laugh.**

**“Maybe we aged in opposite directions?”**

**–**

“…” Papyrus nodded slowly, not entirely sure if he trusted that, but…. he trusted his twin. So it’d probably be okay.

Sans on the other hand turned around slowly, meeting his double with a level gaze. Very subtly, he moved his hands in front of him at an angle where neither Papyrus could see, and signed, ' _defend my honor. annoy the shit out of him. i'm counting on you.'_

He really liked the older Papyrus and all, but he also really wanted to see himself come out on top in a fight for once, darnit!

Even if the only fights he’d ever really been in were with gravity.

…he’d always lost those, too.’

Gaster laughed too. “Maybe. With how messed up this whole situation is, I wouldn’t be that surprised. I was a terror.”

He shook his head, grinning a bit. “What about you? What were your parents like? All you’ve said is they were ‘boring’ and farmers.”

–

**Sans was much too lazy to sign back, so he gave his double a thumbs up instead.**

**The two brothers walked a bit away from the younger versions of themselves, Sans lazily meandering about with his hands always in his pockets while his brother was a stark contrast of energy and determination.**

**They stood a ways apart from one another, neither of them needing to say a word before Papyrus quickly summoned an array of bones underneath his brother’s feet. Sans effortlessly spun off to the side with a quickness that was entirely different than what he usually demonstrated.**

**“Because that’s about it.” The doctor laughed, “My childhood was very uneventful. Pop was pretty big for a skeleton, was missing his lower jaw. That’s why-” He wiggled his hands a bit to express why he used them so often despite apparently not having any problem using his voice like his double did.**

**“I think he lost it getting kicked by a horse or something. He never did tell me.”**

**–**

Sans accepted that thumbs up, feeling the hope rise within him, just a little bit. He took a seat next to his own brother and settled in to watch, grinning. Papyrus was shifting uncomfortably, but having his own Sans closer seemed to calm him down a bit as he watched the fight begin, gasping each time a bone came close.

Gaster nodded, listening. He made a little ‘ah!’ sound at the wingdings explanation. “So it was a more widely used language back then for you? And don’t say things like that, they’re your parents. Surely you’ve got a couple good stories to tell.”

–

**A lot of bones did come very close, but none ever hit. Sans danced around each attack as though the act was effortless, his hands never leaving his pockets. Eventually Papyrus stopped using ground attacks and charged at him, swinging a bone at him with much more force than the younger version of himself had seen.**

**Yet still, every single time, no matter how fast it was, Sans was able to get out of the way just in time.**

**Eventually he ducked under his brother’s lanky legs only to tap his rear with a slipper. Papyrus stumbled forward a little and grabbed his backside, glaring at Sans.**

**“get nudged on, bro.”**

**“It was in my village. We had a lot of monsters and humans congregate there that were either hearing or verbally impaired in some way. It was nice to have people around you that could understand, y’know?” Gaster explained, then tried to think of a story. It was hard. Not only had it been so long ago but he did have quite the boring childhood. He had made up for that by having an incredibly exciting, dangerous, and perhaps horrible rest of his life.**

**“Huh. Well.” He looked down, trying to recall a memory he hadn’t thought about in possibly hundreds of years. “Pop was this huge skeleton, right? Had to be a bit taller than me, definitely twice as wide.” Gaster gestured the size with his hands. “Ma was more normal, maybe a bit on the smaller side.” He held a hand to about his shoulder. “Very dainty thing. He’d always joke about how I got my bones from her.” The doctor rolled his eyes.**

**“But man could she whip his ass in line. That woman could be downright** **frightening** **.” He laughed.**

**–**

Sans was ecstatic. He grinned so wide his smile noticeably spread and he let out a loud cheer at his elder self’s decisive point. Papyrus, who had been on the edge of his seat in nerves while watching the double’s fight, suddenly found all his anxiety falling out from under him in shock, and his jaw hung open wide.

Gaster listened, trying to imagine a village full of humans and skeletons. Or–monsters and humans. All together? It was a pretty funny image, almost. Or maybe he was just grinning at it.

He grinned a bit wider as his twin talked about his family. “She have a lot of reason to keep him in line?”

–

**Papyrus threw his attack at his brother in frustration, who effortlessly tilted his head to avoid it. “nice throw.” He started to ‘finger-gun’ at him.**

**“AUGH!” Papyrus threw up his arms.**

**“Kinda. He was a bit lazy. She caught him sleeping in the barn a lot.” Gaster smirked and then realized that might be where Sans got it from. Who knew anymore.**

**“What about yours? Tell me about ‘em. A dragon and…?” He couldn’t recall what he had said the other one was.**

**–**

Sans was applauding.

Papyrus had his head buried in his face, possibly suffering second-hand embarrassment.

It was an excellent day to be a Sans, the elder of the pair decided.

Gaster nodded without mentioning what his mother was.

He was pretty used to people getting it wrong, anyway.   
  


“They bickered a lot, but never very seriously,” he said, “Mostly over little things. The only one who would really fight was my mother, but that only happened a bare handful of times, and otherwise they were both very easy-going, honestly.”

“My dad would fall asleep a lot in odd places, sometimes,” he added after a moment, remembering mostly because of his twin’s story about his own father. “If I found him, I’d join him. It was like sleeping on a furnace.”

–

**“i think that’s enough for now.” Sans said, grinning while his brother palmed his face in annoyance.**

**“YES I SUPPOSE SO.”**

**The older of the two looked at his double and gave a thumbs up.**

**“I wonder if that’s a dad thing.” Gaster laughed, “I do that a lot. Er, did. I would work myself to exhaustion and then just sort of… sleep wherever.”**

**–**

“aww,” Sans said, but accepted it much more quickly than he would’ve had any other outcome occurred. He was still grinning widely, and returned his elder’s thumbs-up.

Papyrus was happy it was over.

Gaster snorted, “I actually stopped once I got Sans and Papyrus, but yeah, maybe.”

He pased a moment, frowning. “……though now that you mention it, I don’t think I ever saw my mother sleep? …huh.”

He looked like he wasn’t really sure what to do with that information, but held onto it anyway.

–

**“SHALL WE HEAD BACK HOME FOR SOME LUNCH?” Papyrus asked the two children sat before him, the annoyance from the sparring match quickly leaving him. He didn’t win very often anymore, so it never bothered him for too long.**

**Gaster watched him for a moment before shrugging, “Maybe some monsters don’t need sleep? I don’t need it that much, but… well…” He gestured to himself.**

**–**

“yes!” Sans said. This day just kept improving. First Papyrus had said words without a ton of coaxing, then he’d eaten breakfast with people, and then he got to watch the older Sans win against his Papyrus, and now with was lunchtime, and–

–and he suddenly remembered a vitally important piece of information. “carry me!”

“You’d probably know more than I would,” Gaster said in reply, nodding. “I’m about the same. I think it’s because there’s not much to us but magic and a frame?”

–

**Sans looked up at his brother. “that’s all you bro, you’re stronger than i am.”**

**Papyrus made no complaints, reaching down to lift the frail little skeleton up and into his arms.**

**“That would make the most sense. It’s why monsters with little physical bodies are more powerful, so it would only make sense that the same applied to food intake and sleep required.” Gaster shrugged, “If it’s the same in both worlds, anyway.”**

**–**

Before being picked up, Sans wiggled the straps of his crutches off and passed the crutches to his own Papyrus, then gladly accepted being scooped up, looping his arms around the older skeleton’s neck with surprising firmness. “okay.”

Papyrus carried both crutches without complaint, happily holding onto them with both arms and getting up to follow behind the pair.

Gaster nodded. “If you find another Gaster out there and it turns out he’s a biologist? Make sure you ask him.”

–

**The three walked back home, Papyrus happily carrying his brother’s double while Sans meandered behind him.**

**Gaster gave a thumbs up, then paused. “That reminds me. You went to college you said, so you have a diploma? In what exactly?”**

**–**

Sans held on tightly for the whole walk, enjoying being carried, while Papyrus kept pace with the elder Sans, occasionally sneaking a glance up to look at him. He didn’t know the elder Sans, since he hadn’t really interacted with him like he had the elder Papyrus, but…. it was still his brother, even if it was kind of weird to be a bit shorter than him.

“Interdisciplinary,” Gaster said, “My major was a terrible amalgamation of every science class offered, independent study courses, and engineering. They didn’t have an option for ‘Physics.’ They still don’t have an option for physics. I did the next best thing.”

–

**Sans caught the glances of his** **younger** **younger brother and flashed him a slightly wider grin than usual.**

**“That’s still pretty good. More formal education than I got.” He laughed at the whole idea and wondered how illegal everything he had done was since he didn’t have a shiny piece of paper telling everyone that he was smart.**

**–**

Papyrus realized he’d been caught and quickly hid his face again, before gathering his courage to surpass his shyness and give Sans a small, friendly smile of his own. His older older brother was kinda cool, and he really wanted him to like him…

“They wouldn’ take me at the lab otherwise,” Gaster said, a bit of a laugh in his voice, nodding as he said it. “School’s pretty boring. I don’t recommend it. Useful! But pretty boring.”

–

**Papyrus lead them all into the apartment and up the stairs, opening the door once they arrived. “IS THERE ANYTHING YOU WOULD LIKE FOR LUNCH?”**

**“Yeah. I remember having to substitute for some class once when Sans and Pap were in school. They were going to make me just show them a video and do a worksheet. Mind you they were all pretty young.” Gaster shrugs, “But it was so boring.”**

**He had been working all the while as he spoke, eventually laying down and pulling himself underneath one of the parts of the machine. “I ended up taking them outside and showing them how to build a popato cannon.”**

**“I got banned from teaching at the school after that.”**

**–**

“gaster leaves lunch in the fridge for us so all we have to do is heat it up,” Sans said, still holding onto Papyrus. He didn’t seem at all concerned that he and his brother were apparently home alone the vast majority of the day.

Gaster snorted, watching him slide under the machine. He moved a bit closer, ready to help out if the other Gaster needed anything, while he continued to work uptop. “Banned for teaching them how to make a popato cannon? What were you making it out of?”

–

**Papyrus nodded and set little Sans down at one of the chairs around the table before setting about making them lunch. His brother meanwhile went to their bag and started to dig around for some food they had brought.**

**“Just some pipe and magic. None of them could use magic though, which is understandable since they were young, but they had completely stopped teaching magic by that point.” Gaster said, sounding annoyed. “I mean, what the hell? Magic is fundamental. Every monster child should at least attempt to learn it.”**

**–**

Sans settled into his chair and watched as the older Papyrus dug through the kitchen. It was pretty nice having someone around.

Papyrus meanwhile pulled his own chair over to Sans’ spot on the table, setting the crutches between them and curling up as close to his brother as he could while still keeping on his chair. It had been a long, exhausting day for him, but he thought he could keep being out an about for a little longer.

Gaster made a disgusted sound in agreement with his twin. “I remember hearing about that! Yeah, fuck, they’re saying things like the parents should teach the kids magic instead of the school having to do it… as if all parents are equally good at magic or have the time or even the desire to do that? They banned out over a magic popato cannon? Should’ve hired you as a magic teacher.“

–

**Sans brought back over two containers of what looked like some sort of pasta, setting them on the counter for his brother to heat up once he was finished heating up the meals for the other two. He took notice of little Papyrus’ demeanor and settled into one of the seats across from them. “naptime after lunch?”**

**“Right!?” Gaster said, his voice muffled by the machine he was currently wedged under. It was pretty funny when his twin lined up so perfectly over certain subjects like this. They were radically different in a lot of ways, but then they would just sort of ‘click’ over something. Sometimes it was even the most mundane of things.**

**“Not that I would have taken it if they offered, but damn. What the hell.”**

**“… I also fired it at the principal’s window after she kicked me out, so that might have something to do with it.” He laughed.**

**–**

Papyrus looked up and then nodded slowly, looking a little embarrassed at having been caught.

“Oh my stars, Gaster, you can’t just shoot popatoes at people,” Gaster said, but he was laughing as he did.

–

**Papyrus soon finished heating up their meal and set it down in front of them, along with the appropriate cutlery. He then did much the same with his and Sans’ meal, taking a seat beside his brother while they all ate.**

**“Like hell I can’t!” Gaster yelled, his foot ‘pointing’ up towards his twin.**

**–**

Sans dug into his meal while Papyrus ate at a much more sedate pace, managing to clear most of his plate before filling up. He calmly pushed the remainder towards Sans, who wouldn’t let it go to waste. They definitely made a good pair, even in such a different world. Once he was done, he watched their elder versions eat, wondering a bit at the little differences he saw between them. How much more excitable his older self was, how much more sedate the older Sans was… it was kind of cool?

Gaster kicked that foot, though not exactly more than a sharp nudge. “This is why you get in trouble all the time!”

–

**It made you wonder if they would turn out the same, didn’t it?**

**The older two finished their meals at roughly the same pace, both taking their time for different reasons. Sans was just lazy, but his brother liked to be clean and orderly about it. Once everyone was finished Papyrus set about cleaning up.**

**“time for a nap?” Sans asked, eager to get right to it.**

**The goo underneath the machine made a very offended sounding ‘AUFFHHH!’, as though the mere idea that was why he got into trouble was insulting.**

**Still, they had successfully turned a rather dark atmosphere into a light one, hadn’t they?**

**–**

Papyrus hoped one day he’d be as happy as the older Papyrus seemed to be.

But not at the expense of Sans. He didn’t really know.

He nodded at the question, getting up slowly and helping Sans back into his crutches for the short trip. On his way to the back room, he picked up a book from one of the many scattered around the room, and headed in to curl up in bed, his brother following at a slower pace, even though Sans didn’t seem particularly tired yet.

Gaster shook his head at his twin, even if the other couldn’t see him doing it. It was definitely why he always got in trouble.

Still, he was grinning a bit and definitely feeling better than he had been just a while before.

He wouldn’t mind at all if his double could stick around a while, if only for moments like this.

–

**As their counterparts headed to bed, Sans and Papyrus did much the same… or at least Sans did. Papyrus pulled out the tablet from their bag and sat on the couch, his brother flopping down beside him and using his bony legs as a pillow while he dozed. This time around Papyrus didn’t seem to mind being a prop for his brother.**

**A comfortable silence settled over the two, Gaster eventually pulling himself out from underneath the machine. He realized they had been talking back and forth for awhile and wondered if anyone had heard two Gaster’s shooting the shit at one another in passing.**

**He glanced at the door but tried to shake off his paranoia lest his twin nag him for it. Instead he tried to change the subject.**

**“I wonder how the boys are doing.”**

**–**

While Papyrus curled up for a long while of silence and recovery that might-or-might-not have included sleep, Sans got up on the bed beside him, cracked open the book Papyrus picked up, and began to read, staying close by just in case Papyrus needed anything or did actually fall asleep and needed a get-out-of-bad-dreams shake.

Gaster, for once, wasn’t stewing in anxiety and had totally disregarded the thought that someone might’ve heard through the door. He kept tinkering, enjoying the rare calm.

“Hm? I’m sure they’re fine. Mine will keep your two in line.”

–

**Gaster scoffed, “Excuse me, my Pap doesn’t need to be kept in line.” He paused, “Sans on the other hand…” He made an annoyed face, but it was all in good fun.**

**“But I’m glad they seemed to have had that talk or whatever it was. I didn’t even know your Pap could talk.”**

**–**

Gaster nodded, “He… he does sometimes? But usually only when he’s feeling comfortable, or feeling especially pressured to. He hadn’t said very much the last few days before you all came. So I’m glad your Papyrus got him to say whatever it is they said. This morning was the most forward I’d seen him in a while.”

He smiled a bit as he spoke.


	12. Fear and Loathing pt 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> working on an upload bump, I'm sorry to clutter inboxes. thank you for being patient with me.

" **Good.” Gaster smiled back at him and wished that he could help somehow, Papyrus that is. He just had to tell himself that this was good too, helping with the core and all.**

**The two Pap’s were so different it was crazy to ever think the little one would, maybe, somehow, grow up to be just like his. How could that even happen? Maybe it wouldn’t. It wasn’t like this Gaster had grown up to be** **completely** **like him.**

**He was way too damn nice.**

**–**

It was a little funny how much the other Gaster denied his niceness, to the point where he fully ignored it existed at all. Ah well. Self-loathing did funny things to a skeleton.

Gaster nodded. “He’s definitely improving. Hopefully when things calm down, it’ll be even better, but he’s much better than he was. I was worried he was starting to backslide when he stopped talking again, so… your Papyrus showed up right in time.”

–

**“Maybe there’s a reason for everything.” Gaster said as he pulled out his notepad and flipped to the page with his suggestions on it. “But that would mean there’s a thing such as fate, and I don’t believe in that nonsense.”**

**–**

“Oh, thank fuck,” Gaster said, heaving out a sigh of relief, “I was worried you were about to start talking about destinies and shit.”

–

**“Fuck that shit.” Gaster cursed, frowning but not looking angry at his twin. Perhaps he was recalling something in his past that made him a little bitter about the whole idea.**

**–**

“You met someone who was really hardcore about that, huh?” he asked, figuring venting might help.

–

**Gaster opened and closed his mouth a few times. He paused and actually looked around for a moment, as though he expected someone to leap out right from time and space to give him a slap.**

**“Yeah, actually. Their name was Seer. Or that’s what we called them.”**

**–**

“‘Them’ as in a group, or one extremely annoying individual?” Gaster asked, listening interestedly.

–

**“One extremely annoying individual. I think. Maybe there’s more of them. I don’t know.” Gaster flung his hands up, as if thinking about it was enough to drive him insane. “They worked as our river person after the war but… ugh.” He shoved his notepad back into himself much more forcefully than he intended.**

**“During the war they worked was, obviously, the seer for the king. They would predict the outcome of battles and all that nonsense but it was always just vague enough that you couldn’t really tell whether or not they were actually seeing the future or fate or whatever the fuck.” He flung his hands up and began to gesture along with his speech.**

**“Drove me fucking insane. They hung on their every word. I mean, I do owe them a lot, but… fuck.”**

**–**

Gaster winced a bit, watching the notepad disappear. He decided not to comment on the ‘owing them a lot’ part, since knowing you owed a lot to someone who you didn’t trust or even like was… never the most fun thing to talk about. But still. “Wow. That, um. Yeah, that sounds awful to listen to all the time.”

–

**“I had to travel with them at one point. Longest weeks of my life.” He sighed, recalling the memory. “They’re… a nice monster, but… jeeze. Everything they do goes against what I believe in.”**

**There was a pause.**

**“Somehow they keep finding me too, which is strange. It’s gotta be some sort of magic. That’s the only way I can explain it. A magic very specific to that particular monster. Whatever that monster happens to be.”**

**–**

“You never saw a monster quite like them?” Gaster asked, curious about that remark in particular.

–

**“I… yeah…” Gaster went deep into thought, a finger tapping his chin. “Sort of like an elemental but… I don’t think they were. It was very disorienting to look at. Like their appearance constantly changed every time you looked away.”**

**“Maybe cloaking magic? But I’ve never heard of that before.”**

**–**

Gaster blinked at the description. “That’s… odd, definitely. …are shapeshifters real in your world, I guess?”

–

**“I’ve certainly never heard of them. Are they here?” He asked, looking up at his double.**

**–**

Gaster shook his head. “They’re children’s stories. Monsters that can change their shape at will, to… basically anything.”

–

**“That would make the most sense, but…” Gaster just shrugged, “I’ve honestly never heard of it and never met a monster with the same ability. Seer was… very strange.”**

**“… Which says a lot coming from me, I think.” He chuckled.**

**–**

After a moment, Gaster grinned. “Maybe you had an early dimensional traveler on your hands.”

–

**Gaster’s eye sockets widened, then narrowed. “Oh that** **bastard** **. If they were I will be so pissed.”**

**–**

Gaster laughed. “Maybe you’ll find out on your trip? Maybe you’ll run into a younger version of them or something. Then you can interrogate them by pretending you know their future. It’ll be fun for the whole family. Fake-out the mystic.”

–

**The doctor’s grin widened at the thought, then fell again as he looked to his counterpart. “Do any of your river people say ‘tra-la-la’ before every other sentence?”**

**–**

Gaster looked blankly at his counterpart. “….do riverpeople talk?”

–

**He stared at his double for a long while before mumbling ‘shit’ under his breath. “There goes that idea I guess. I was hoping they would be here somehow.”**

**–**

“Sorry,” Gaster said, “have you asked around in other dimensions about the riverpeople?”

–

**“Nah. I didn’t think of it until you said something. I will next time we jump and I find one.” Gaster shrugged, “Knowing Seer they’ll give me some vague hint or say nothing at all.”**

**–-**

Gaster nodded. “Still, it’s as good a plan as any.”

–

**He sighed and looked at the ceiling, rubbing the back of his neck. “Yeah.”**

**–**

Gaster looked up at the clock at the wall, checking the time. “…it’s getting towards the end of my shift. Want to cut out early and head back to see the boys?”

–

**“Yeah, might as well. I feel we got a lot done today, despite how much time we spent being idiots.” He grinned at his double. “I’ll let you get a headstart. I don’t wanna walk into the apartment before you get there.”**

**–**

“You mean we spent time not being idiots?” he asked, grinning back. “All right. I’ll meet you there.”

He took a moment to finish backing up before heading out, making sure his double was out of the line of sight of the door before he went.

He jumped a bit when he opened the door and realized there was another monster standing outside it.

They were a waterfall monster, clearly; a sort of fishman with a forked tongue and bright blue skin.  
  


“Hey there, Wingdingss,” they said. “Who you talkin’ to in there?”

“Myself,” Gaster said, face impassive. He pushed by the fish monster, shouldering his way into the hall and locking the door closed behind himself. “Sorry if I bothered you.”

“Ssssee, I thought that at first, but then I remembered you talk to yoursself with your handss,” the fish monster said, following along behind Gaster as he tried to walk down the hall. “And it actually ssounded like a conversation. Sso…. just out of friendly curiosssity I thought I’d ask.”

“I think you’ve imagined things.”

–

**He watched his double stop at the door and instantly tense up, or tensed as much as goo could. His flesh rippled and he bit back the itch of magic at his fingertips, recalling what his twin had said about there being…** **disagreements** **in the lab.**

**Gaster didn’t move until the door was fully closed, quickly forming a pointed bone in his hand and silently walking to stand behind the door as he listened in on the conversation. He moved along the side of the room as the conversation moved, his other hand waving to open up a prompt and keep as much of an eye on what was happening as he could through the wall.**

**–**

“Sso rude,” the fish monster said, laughing a bit. They seemed fairly carefree as they spoke, but Gaster still didn’t let his guard down, doing his best to appear calm as the other walked behind him. He fought the overwhelming urge to protect his back. “Are you ssure you’re not hiding a third exxperiment in there? Needed one more sspecimen to add to your collection?”

It took all he had to not summon a bone and skewer the fish right there in the hallway.

But he couldn’t. He couldn’t. He couldn’t afford to be the bad guy here.

Sans and Papyrus couldn’t afford for him to be the bad guy.

So he laughed instead. A dead sort of chuckle compared to his real one, but convincing enough. “That’s a nice thought. But no. I think I have enough. Thank you. I should be leaving, now, my shift’s ended. You know how upset they get when we don’t go sleep when we’re supposed to.”

The fish made a face, and Gaster kept walking, trying to outpace them.

–

**Hohohoho** **hoooo boy** **. Gaster felt his arm shake, the grip on his weapon tightening. This bastard.** **This bastard.**

**His eyes went blank as they walked further than the room went and he stopped, standing in the corner and letting his eyes watch his window. He could see the distance each of them was, which hopefully was enough.**

**Hopefully the fish would have enough sense to let him be.**

**–**

The fish apparently didn’t like being deflected like that. He stopped following Gaster as closely, but still called out after him, “Whatever you’re doing with thossse weaponsss, you may’ve fooled Asssgore, but we won’t let you get away witth it!”

Gaster waved behind himself, calling, “Yeah, have a good day!” before rounding the corner and breaking into a much quicker walk, reaching the elevator and getting up to the top level and outside the lab as quickly as he could.

–

**Gaster could feel his body start to boil with rage. Figuratively at least.**

**The window vanished with a wave of his hand and he just… stood there. A part of him, a** **very large** **part of him wanted that fish to come back and try to unlock the door.**

**Come on in.**

**See what’s inside.**

**You know you want to.**

**You know you want this fucking B O͞ ͘N̷ E͢ ͘ ̨S͢ H O V̵ ̸E D ͏ ̡T ̕H R O ̡U G H ̡Y͜ O ҉U͏ R̢ ̕Ȩ Y̧ E̢ ̸B A̴ L͟ ̨L.͜**

**He would probably be even later than he intended getting back to the apartment and he would probably wait an unreasonably long time inside the room, hoping one of those pieces of shit that called themselves a monster would try to come inside and see what exactly his double had been talking to.**

**–**

The doorknob rattled.

The fish monster had come back.

He muttered under his breath, ‘fucking ssskeleton and hiss lockss,’ twisting the knob one more time.

–

**Gaster stood on the opposite side of the door, behind where it would swing open. He held breath he no longer needed and quickly diffused his magic and forced himself to let go of his form as much as he could.**

**He didn’t want to look like his double. He didn’t want to get him into more trouble than he probably already would.**

**But he** **was** **going to scare this little asshole straight if he could.**

**–**

After a third rattle, the door lock still held, and the fish monster sighed loudly on the other side.

They punched the door–or, it sounded like they did. But the door didn’t budge, and not enough force had been applied for it to. With all the scrutiny going through the lab at the moment, it’d take an idiot to break down the most high profile scientist’s door, much less mess with whatever it was he was experimenting on.

Maybe they’d find an idiot willing to take the fall?

Not in the lab, though.

Unfortunately.

Making another disgusted sound, the fish monster turned and headed towards the break room, burbling angrily.

That skeleton stole his chance to see the stars. To know the ocean.

Fuck it. It wasn’t like whoever was locked in that room was going anywhere anytime soon.

–

**Gaster waited. He waited even after the monster had gone. He waited, holding himself perfectly still, than any sane person would.**

**Then, suddenly, he relaxed a little. The anger started to die down. He looked down at himself.**

**… He really was a freak, wasn’t he?**

**A horrible, murderous freak.**

**The doctor sighed and pulled himself together again, this time easier than all the previous times now that he wasn’t drained of energy. He slumped against the wall and sat down.**

**That had been stupid. He was so stupid.**

**Gaster pressed the palms of his hands to his skull right above his eyes. If he had gone through with that his doppelganger would have had to deal with so much more shit and it would have all been his fault. He was no good at this. He didn’t know delegation or how to delicately tiptoe around something so sensitive a subject as this.**

**But his double did. He was doing exactly what he needed to do.**

**Gaster groaned at himself and pulled his legs to his chest, hugging them.**

**He needed to calm down before teleporting back home.**

**–**

It was a while later that a voice buzzed through the room.

Coming from one of those communication devices he’d handed out was the other Gaster’s voice.

“….hey. Are you coming back?”

His double sounded tired, concerned, but otherwise fine.

–

**Gaster flinched at the sudden voice and reached up to press the button through his head.**

**“Yeah.”**

**There was an awkward pause before he repeated himself. “Yeah. Just… wanted to calm down a little beforehand. I’m coming.”**

**He inhaled sharply and stood up.**

**–**

“Are things okay?” his double didn’t sound soothed at the promise at all. “The others can’t hear right now. I’m in the hallway.”

–

**Gaster glanced at the door he stood beside before walking away from it and speaking quieter. “That monster came back to the door and tried to open it. I was just… being dumb.”**

**He hoped that was enough for his double to infer that he wanted to kill the guy, or at least scare the shit ouf of him.**

**–**

There was a sharp intake of breath over the receiver. His double also spoke more quietly. “…Gaster… what did you do?”

He’d definitely inferred it well enough.

He just needed to know if his double had actually gone through with it.

–

**“… Nothing. I didn’t do anything.” He said, his voice sounding ashamed of himself.**

**“I’m sorry.”**

**Even though he hadn’t actually done anything he still felt compelled to apologise for nearly doing something really idiotic.**

**–**

Gaster let out a breath of relief. “It’s fine. You didn’t do it, so things are fine. And we–we would’ve figured something out if you had.”

Living with Papyrus had greatly increased his capacity to talk about violence and death without sounding condescending rather than comforting.

“But since it didn’t happen, it’s not anything we need to worry about. You’re all right, though? Feeling okay?”

–

**Gaster closed his eyes and pressed a knuckle against his forehead, tapping it there a few times as he listened to his double.**

**At his question he let out a tiny, bitter laugh. “Okay enough. I’m the opposite of how I felt initially meeting Papyrus, so… things should be alright.”**

**He made no comment about it being alright for** **him** **, but he didn’t find that very important. The kids came first.**

**–**

“But how are you?” Gaster asked, taking the hint and violently ignoring it. “You sound like shit.”

–

**Gaster’s arm dropped from his head to hang by his side. You could hear the annoyance that was across his face through the receiver. “Thanks.”**

**He tried to laugh it off, a sort of dry chuckle not unlike the one his double had used out in the hallway. “I feel like a piece of shit.”**

**He wanted to laugh again and to say that he was a horrible person, but stopped himself.**

**–**

“Because you wanted to kill them?”

–

**There was a long pause before a very tired, very drained, almost completely different sounding voice came from the other end.**

**“… Yeah.”**

**–**

“And did you kill them?”

It was the tone of voice of someone who knew the answer, but was going to make you answer anyway.

–

**There was another pause before a completely different tone came through. “No mom, jeeze!”**

**Things were getting too tense. Too whiney. Too emotional. He switched to humor just like he always did to try and cloak it all.**

**–**

“Then good fucking job, Junior!” Gaster said, following along with the humor without ever losing the intensity of his voice. “You’ve been conditioned to kill shit! You fought that conditioning and didn’t kill shit when you had the chance! That’s not something to be upset about, that means you did a good. Excellent job. Now get your goopy ass over here and get a hug from your sons. Because you did something. Remember that talk we had about assholes who believe in fate? Well, you made a conscious decision to say ‘fuck that’ and you did a thing, and that thing was not doing shit. Except making me talk for way too fucking long, my throat is on fire, holy fuck. Has my point gotten across, yet, or do I have to tell you I was tempted to kill the fucker too, but I didn’t, because I’ve conditioned myself my whole life to deal with things like that?”

–

**Through his double’s entire monologue Gaster didn’t say a thing. He waited until he was finished before teleporting right in front of him, hand dropping from the side of his head with a dopey, toothless grin on his face.**

**“Does this mean we can get nice cream for being good?”**

**–**

Gaster punched him in his goop shoulder. “Only if you bring enough to share.”

–

**The doctor mouthed a ‘yes’ and did a little fistpump in the air.**

**–**

Gaster shook his head. “You well enough to go inside?”

–

**“Yeah I’m good.” He smiled, genuinely this time.**

**–**

Gaster nodded, “Good.”

He opened the door and stepped inside, calling, “Hey, Papyrus! Come give your dad a hug! He’s been dumb about his feelings again.”

Then he stepped inside and started planning out the logistics of buying and transporting enough nice cream for this hell family.

–

**Papyrus looked up from his seat on the couch. “AGAIN!? WHAT NOW?” He set down the tablet he had been messing with.**

**“Oh god.” Gaster palmed his face as he closed the door behind him.**

**–**

“Upset about dumb thoughts when he didn’t actually do anything dumb,” Gaster said. “He’s just upset he had them at all. Don’t nag him too much. Also, we’re apparently getting nice cream.”

–

**Papyrus scoffed and stood up, his brother’s head flopping back into the couch. “yay nice cream.” He mumbled, giving a thumbs up from his position still sprawled over it.**

**“Papy please have mercy.” Gaster mumbled, looking incredibly embarrassed despite being unable to blush. His son had none of it, wrapping his big arms around his father and squeezing him tight.**

**“YOU’RE A VERY SILLY MAN SOMETIMES.” He said, patting his father on the head as he hugged him.**

**“I know.”**

**“YOU’RE NOT A BAD MAN.”**

**Gaster didn’t reply, which only made Papyrus hug him tighter. “SAY IT WITH ME.”**

**The doctor mumbled out something under his breath and his son glared. “THAT WAS TERRIBLE.”**

**This looked like it had happened a couple of times before at least. Perhaps this was why he had been so good at convincing his smaller self that he wasn’t a bad person; he had to do it with his father occasionally as well.**

**–**

Gaster had to look away and cover his mouth to hide his grin as he watched Papyrus and Gaster.

  
That Papyrus was really something.

…and so was the other Gaster’s self-loathing.

Gaster’s own Papyrus had been stewing in nerves and sadness ever since they’d met, but a night with Papyrus as physical evidence and a long conversation had given him enough hope to really try for a better, kinder future. The face that this older Papyrus seemed to give the same sort of treatment to his father without the same sort of effect… said a lot.

Or maybe it meant the other Gaster wasn’t as open about his issues as the younger Papyrus was.

Or maybe seeing his supposedly ‘better’ twin didn’t give him the same hope as the Papyru had. Maybe it was an age thing; he felt he could never go back.

Whatever it was, it wasn’t anything a few gallons of Nice Cream couldn’t help soothe.

He hoped that bunny was going to be okay once Gaster placed the order.

–

**Gaster continued to groan and mumble, Papyrus even going so far as to give him a shake in his arms. “COME ON NOW.”**

**“holy cow dad just say it.” Sans said, laughing as he watched from the couch.**

**“FfffI’m not bad! Jesus let me go.” Gaster finally said, his son obliging.**

**“NICE JOB.” Papyrus pat his father on the head as though he were a child. Maybe he was. An overgrown child thousands of years old who threw temper tantrums.**

**Gaster was unsure how to look, bridging somewhere between wanting to melt away into the floorboards and screaming.**

**–**

Gaster snorted, trying hard not to laugh. “All right. Okay. I’m going to get the nice cream. All of you have to behave and not wreck my apartment until I get back. Papyrus is in charge.”

He headed over to the couch and pulled a wadded envelope out from between the cushions before pulling on the only coat he had which wasn’t a labcoat and aiming for the door again.

–

**His double opened his mouth in shock. His SON was in charge over him? The NERVE.**

**Papyrus started to flex his nonexistent muscles.**

**Gaster glared at him.**

**Sans just laughed.**

**–**

Gaster laughed at the expression on his twin’s face.

He left quickly, hoping to avoid whatever rath might’ve been triggered by that stunt.

Even if Papyrus was definitely the best of any of them to leave in charge of the house.

Things were going to be okay.

–

**While his double was gone, Gaster groaned and moved to flop down onto the couch with Sans. “I can’t believe this. My own son outranks me.”**

**“IT’S BECAUSE I’M SO GREAT!” Papyrus grinned and then moved to the door to the bedroom he knew the two boys to be resting inside. He gently knocked on the door.**

**–**

“heya,” Sans’s voice came from inside at the knock, indicating they were both awake and it was probably okay to open the door.

–

**Papyrus opened it slowly and peeked inside, smiling. “YOUR DAD HAS GONE TO GET US NICE CREAM! DO YOU WANT TO COME OUT OR WAIT UNTIL HE’S BACK?”**

**Gaster winced and made grabbing gestures at Papyrus before signing** **‘Not dad! Not dad!’**

**Oh well.**

**–**

Sans and Papyrus glanced at each other from where they were tangled on the bed, before Sans glanced back at their elder and said, “…you mean your dad?”

Papyrus probably just misspoke.

–

**Papyrus suddenly looked nervous, eye sockets bouncing between the door and what he could make out his father singing from the corner of his eyes. “ER, NO, I MEANT YOUR… GASTER. IT’S HARD TO KEEP TRACK OF WHO’S WHO! NYEH-HEH-HEH!”**

**He hated lying so much.**

**–**

Sans… wasn’t really sure why he felt like Papyrus was lying, even when what he was saying was definitely probably right? Whatever. He let it go. Maybe Papyrus was just awkward sometimes. “okay, cool. let us know when he gets here? i dunno if paps has ever had nice cream before….?”

He glanced over at his brother, who shrugged.

“oh well. still needs more nice cream, either way.”

–

**Papyrus nodded and slowly backed out the door, closing it gently behind him. He then spun around and stared at his father, sweating.**

**Gaster sighed and shrugged.**

**–**

Sans and Papyrus remained in their bredroom.

“well that was weird,” Sans said. Papyrus nodded.

About half an hour later, the doorknob glowed indigo and the door swung open.

“All right, now we’re going to test how much nicecream a skeleton can ingest, I guess,” Gaster said, levitating several buckets of nicecream onto the table.

–

**“Holy crap.” Gaster said, watching as the buckets of nice cream were set on the table. “I’m surprised you actually took that joke to heart.” He laughed.**

**Papyrus stood and walked to the bedroom door again, knocking before peeking inside. “YOUR GASTER IS BACK WITH THE NICE CREAM.”**

**–**

“Fuck you, jokes are serious business,” Gaster said with an extremely straight face. “And as it is, I’m also going to use the goodwill generated from this to get you all to let me pass out for a while, because I need to go hide my head for a while after these last few days.”

A few minutes later, Sans and Papyrus emerged from their room, ready for a massive amount of sugar.

–

**“Giving kids nice cream and then expecting them to be quiet enough for you to sleep? You’re nuts.” Gaster said, then laughed. “But sure. Go pass out. We can watch the kiddos.”**

**–**

“That’s what I was banking on,” Gaster said, grinning back. As opposite as they were, the moments when he and his twin really got each other were exceptionally worth it. He got some bowls and plates–the few he had–and began scooping them out.

Honestly, he hadn’t funny believed the joke or taken it seriously at all, until the other Gaster had done a fist pump and for a moment looked genuinely like he’d have liked nice cream.

And, well. Maybe everyone needed a pick-me-up every now and then.

He served a handful of bowls of nice cream and then delegated the elder Papyrus to be in charge of refills.

–

**Papyrus gave a salute and handed a bowl to his brother, then offered one to his father, who looked at it oddly.**

**“Pap I don’t need to eat.”**

**“YOU DON’T NEED TO. BUT YOU SHOULD.” He thrust the bowl at his father until he took it. “SANS TOLD ME WE USE TO EAT THIS TOGETHER, RIGHT?”**

**Gaster smiled a little, “Yeah we did. Thanks Pap.”**

**–**

While they served icecream, Gaster went to find his own corner to curl up in and relax on. It’d been a long two days.

Meanwhile, mid bite of icecream, the younger Papyrus leaned over and attempted to whisper “DO YOU THINK HE HAS A TV IN HIS GOOP?” to his Sans.

He succeeded more than his elder version would have. Sans just snorted and turned to their caretaker’s twin. “goopster, paps has a question for ya.”

Papyrus made a startled noise and tried to wave his brother off.

–

**“Myeah?” Gaster said as he spooned nice cream into his mouth.**

**He seemed to be warming up to the name ‘goopster’.**

**–**

“paps wants to know if you’ve got anything we can watch a movie on,” Sans said, grinning up at his… uncle goopster, he decided. Uncle Goopster.

–

**“Sure.” Gaster said, pulling the tablet out of his chest before getting up and walking over to the table where everyone was sitting. He had been keeping his distance for the little Papyrus’ sake until now.**

**“I really only have home movies on this thing though. I don’t think you guys have invented the Undernet yet, have you?”**

**–**

Sans shook his head, eating more icecream. “so we can’t get other stuff on it?”

Papyrus didn’t seem nearly as upset this time as the other Gaster approached. He seemed to be getting a bit more used to his presence. Still, showing the home movies to him was probably not the best idea, since they’d either involve the lab or a young Papyrus being happy, and.. even if he didn’t get jealous, it might upset him.

–

**“Not without being connected to the net I’m afraid. I don’t have anything like that on mine. Not a big movie fan. What about you two? You have your phones and stuff on you, right?” Gaster looked to his two boys.**

**Sans pulled out a cellphone from his pocket and Papyrus stood to go fetch the other tablet they brought with them.**

**“i’ve got some dumb videos saved.”**

**“I HAVE A FEW MOVIES I THINK.” Papyrus sat back down and began to tap at the screen. “WHAT KIND OF MOVIES DO YOU LIKE?”**

**Even if they did end up watching home movies, neither of them would have to worry about having to watch their alternate selves being happy at the same age. Those videos had long since been lost in the other timeline. Perhaps that was why he took so many these days, he didn’t have the old ones to look back to.**

**–**

“all of them,” Sans said, very seriously. Then, a moment later, he amended, “what sort do you have?”

Papyrus also leaned in, interested and wanting to see a bit more.

Their Gaster was more of a photography person.

–

**“LET’S SEE…” Papyrus said, leaning a bit and angling the screen so the two could better see the movies he had to choose from. Most of them were rather light-hearted children’s movies or action. There were a few comedies and even a horror flick or two on it as well, to which the skeleton frowned and looked over at Gaster.** **  
** **  
** **“YOU PUT YOUR SCARY MOVIES ON HERE.”**

**The doctor just shrugged, “I watch ‘em when you two are asleep and I don’t feel like working.”**

**–**

“scary movies?” Sans asked, leaning forward and poking at one of the images on the screen.

–

**The cover of ‘Alien’ popped up, which Papyrus quickly swiped away. “OH NO, NO SCARY MOVIES.”**

**“Yeah I’m not gonna be responsible for giving you two nightmares.” Gaster said as he spooned more nice cream into his mouth.**

**–**

“we won’t get nightmares,” Sans said, “probably,” eating another scoop of icecream.

Papyrus, on the other hand, was looking pretty interestedly at one of the children’s movies that had appeared on the screen briefly.

–

**Papyrus gave his little older brother a stare that screamed ‘yeah sure’, but he did manage to catch the glimpse of his twin’s and swiped back a few. “DID YOU SEE ONE YOU LIKED?”**

**–**

Sans was unintimidated by the stare.

He could definitely handle anything the movies threw at him.

Papyrus nodded, ducking his head a bit and pointing at one of the ones as Papyrus swiped past them. It was brightly colored and appeared to focus on a bushy-tailed animated squirrel.

It looked pretty cute.

–

**“OH, GOOD CHOICE!” Papyrus smiled and tapped a few buttons before the movie began to play. He pushed it around so the two could watch it. They couldn’t see the screen from that angle, but that was alright. All of them knew what was happening by the sounds emitted from it.**

**–**

Papyrus was enthralled.

The bright colors, cheerful sounds, and easy conversation of the movie were so different from what he was used to, hidden away in the depths of the capital with his two family members, who meant well, but didn’t exactly break into choreographed song-and-dance to talk about their feelings.

He kind of thought the world would be a better place if that happened more often. People singing about their feelings. And also dancing. It would be really cool if everyone danced??

And the sounds were all mixed together well so that he never got overwhelmed with them???

Movies were excellent he decided.

Then they came to the part with the owl.

And Sans shrieked and hid behind him.

Papyrus didn’t think it was all that scary, but…. he patted Sans’ skull anyway.

So much for not getting nightmares.

–

**“ride it out, tough guy.” Sans commented with a grin, having already started to help himself to a second serving of nice cream. Papyrus and Gaster had decided one bowl was enough for them.**

**‘Goopster’ wasn’t looking at them, his head leaned onto his palm as he just listened to the movie.**

**But he was smiling.**

**–**

Sans did survive watching the ‘scary’ part of the movie, and was growing very tired by the end. Papyrus had gotten a chance to rest during the day, but Sans had been up for most of it. He was yawning by the end, despite having consumed two bowls of icecream, like his elder.

–

**Papyrus, still taking the role of ‘in-charge’ very seriously, posed the two youngsters a question once the credits began to roll. “I THINK IT’S PROBABLY GETTING LATE. DO YOU WANT TO GO TO BED?”**

**–**

Sans nodded, yawning, and his Papyrus nodded along as well, ready to take vigil over his older brother until he could also fall asleep.

–

**Papyrus nodded and took the tablet away before standing up and beginning to clean everything. He could use a little nap himself and Sans was always ready to sleep, but their father would probably take a walk around the ruins and mess around with his machine a little during the night rather than do any actual sleeping.**

**–**

While the elder Papyrus cleaned, Sans slipped back onto his crutches and made his way to the room. He paused halfway there, glancing back over his shoulder?

“papyrus? you coming?”

Papyrus held up a finger that meant ‘one moment,’ and turned back to watching his double. A moment later, he got up and began helping clean up.

–

**The taller skeleton flashed his double a smile, eager to let him help clean up and giving him small, easy tasks as he went about putting everything in the sink and washing it up, then handing it to be dried over to his small double.**

**It wouldn’t take long to tidy things at all.**

**–**

Papyrus began to smile a bit as his elder gave him tasks to complete.

He. He was being useful and doing a good thing without anything bad happening to anyone else.

He could get used to cleaning.

Between the two of them, the kitchen was soon back to its usual state of relative cleanliness, and he felt a bit proud of his hand in it.

He gave his elder a smile before running back to his brother and heading in to bed.

–

**Papyrus watched his smaller self go before settling down on the air mattress beside his brother, taking his tablet and poking away at it to try and get himself in the mindset to take a nap. Despite using magic today it didn’t seem to affect him at all.**

**Gaster lingered for a bit before signing** **‘going for a walk’** **to his sons and teleporting out to do just that.**

**–**

Gaster had long passed out in his corner, fairly content and certain that the kids were safe with their doubles; it gave him some much needed time for relaxation that he hadn’t had for a long time.

Sans and Papyrus climbed into bed together, snuggling up and relaxing; they both fell asleep much more quickly than expected.

All things considered, it had been a good two days.


	13. Just Like Me pt 1

**Gaster and the boys decided to stick around for at least a few weeks, just to make sure that everything was going to look at least a little up for the new family. The doctor continued to work on the CORE with his double and his machine during the night when he didn’t feel like sleeping whereas Sans and Papyrus mostly stayed at home and made their younger selves feel safe and happy.**

**They taught them some of the easier science they knew, read them books they had brought, and just generally tried to give them a few weeks of ‘normal childhood’ even if being watched by an older version of yourself from another timeline was anything but normal.**

**Their father on the other hand kept on working, also taking time to teach his double things that he probably wouldn’t get to for years, if ever. He wasn’t sure if his influence had permanently fucked up this timeline forever or helped it out, but he would be damned if he didn’t at least try to save his alternate from the same fate he did.**

**He knew they both had a rocky past, he couldn’t fix that… but he would try to make his future at least a little brighter.**

**Gaster just… hoped it would work. He really… really hoped it would work.**

**Before he left he also made the cross-dimensional radio he had talked about, or at least the blueprints. He wasn’t sure if it would work, but he gave it to his double nonetheless should he ever need to use it. It was easier to come up with than he thought. Once you got the hang of making things work across dimensions like the time machine things became easier and easier the more you did them.**

**Yeah just gonna whip up a walkie-talkie that shoots across dimensions in a week. No big deal.**

**He hoped that his double would never need to use it.**

**–**

Gaster never did use the inter-dimensional radio.

He was tempted to try it, sometimes, but he knew it wasn’t–just for calling up people at random. Not that he was any good at that, anyways. But sometimes he did sort of hope his double would show up again, if only for another long talk, or a spar that no one would ever really get hurt in.

The few weeks the doubles stayed were some of the least stressful in his memory. Even if it meant more people around than he was used to, even if it meant noise where he was used to quiet–having another pair of hands helping at any moment was great. Knowing the kids were being looked after, that Papyrus was beginning to have confidence in himself, that they were both getting a hint of something resembling peace and security–that he wasn’t working all alone.

It was nice. He was grateful. He knew it couldn’t last forever. He’d planned for when it would end. And he would be all right. But that didn’t mean he wouldn’t miss his double and whatever weird form of camaraderie they’d managed to form over their brief times together. Because the world was an ugly, awful place, and they were both pretty fucked up from it. But they’d both survived so far. And maybe they could both do one better in the future.

It was hardest on Papyrus when the day came that the trio finally left. He clung to his elder’s arm and didn’t want to let go until Sans could finally coax him away.

He didn’t speak for three days, but he didn’t fully recoil. He started insistently cleaning the kitchen. Helping put things away. Reading and writing and practicing his magic until he could finally turn bones blue.

And they were on their own. Him. His two kids. Growing up.

Whatever changes Gaster’s twin had made to their timeline with his interference and presence, Gaster was determined to say they were largely positive.

Even if it didn’t catch him when he finally fell.

–

**Five years passed before the trio decided to take a little detour.**

**Gaster had made a very big note on where his double’s timeline was, just in case he ever did receive that call or felt like checking in on him. This was the latter.**

**The years had been busy for them, if not unsucessful. Chara avoided them at all costs it seemed and they were heading into further and further away from their original timeline. It made them come across some… interesting places. Even more interesting than the one they had stumbled upon all those years ago.**

**Papyrus and Sans swapping personalities. Everyone being an asshole for no reason. Everyone being… Temmie. That… that had been one hell of an acid trip. It would be nice to come to something ‘familiar’.**

**The machine landed gracefully this time inside the dark forest between the ruins and Snowdin before the trio stepped out into the cold air.**

**Gaster looked surprised at their change in location. Snow? Why had they landed in Snowdin instead of the lab or the capitol again?**

**Worry bubbled up in his chest, but he quickly snuffed it out. He didn’t need to start worrying before he knew there was something to** **actually** **worry about. He had tried to take that to heart, it was something his double had infected him with.**

**They began to head through the forest before finding the pathway that lead into the quaint little snowy village.**

**–**

It hadn’t been five years for Sans.

It had been twenty years.

Twenty long, wonderful, awful, nightmarish years.

He hadn’t been in Snowdin for most of those, but he’d been in Snowdin for long enough. He still had that curiosity in him, that spark that hadn’t been quite snuffed out yet, that let him want to map out every single inch of a new place. So he knew Snowdin, now. He knew Snowdin, and the locals, and every foodjoint in town, and most than anything, he knew the forest. The forest was his place.

And he knew right away when something changed inside it.

He walked around one tree and came around the other side in a whole other part of the forest, watching a trio of strangers shuffle down the path.

Except, they weren’t strangers, he realized as they came close.

Nah. He knew those shapes.

For a moment, he choked up, seeing–- seeing his dad, walking towards him. His dad walking beside him? Another him. And Papyrus. And his Dad Walking Towards Him.

And then his expression settled, and he knew what that disturbance he’d felt in the forest had been.

Shit, fuck. Oh well.

He didn’t want to do this.

But they shouldn’t have come back.

He stepped into the path in front of them.

–

**The three stopped in their tracks. Gaster wanted to look happy but he found his smile lacking. Sans looked at his double right in the eye sockets and just… knew. Even Papyrus smiled and waved, but it soon just sort of petered out and his arm went back to his side.**

**In a way, they all knew. They all knew without having to say a word.**

**Gaster was the first to close the distance between the two of them. Sans and Papyrus hung back. Once he was close enough he spoke, his voice quiet and almost shaking.**

**“… He’s gone. Isn’t he.”**

**–**

Sans nodded, keeping his face blank and trying to sound indifferent. “you missed him by a couple years, yeah.”

It had been a long time since he’d said anything about his father except for lies.

–

**Gaster let out a very long, very defeated sigh. He put his face in his hands and just… crumpled. He crouched down, hugging his legs and burying his face into his knees.**

**Everything he did amounted to nothing.**

**“… What happened?” He eventually asked, although didn’t lift his head.**

**–**

Sans just sighed, standing over his dad’s double, intentionally not looking at him. He kept his hands stuffed into his pockets and looked around languidly.

“wasn’t a time machine, if that helps,” he said. “nah. while messin’ with the core’s pressure chamber, he found some weird behavior of the particles if he looked close enough. got curious. started wondering if they were connected to soul physics. origins of magic. wanted to take a closer look and ended up finding the bastards were hopping around everywhere with no regard to distance, time, or patterns.”

Sans shrugged.

“it ate him.”

–

**The doctor shook his head. By now the other two had closed the distance as well, standing on either side of their father.**

**“hey.” Sans said, looking at his double. “hows pap?”**

**This was him he was talking to, of course. He knew how he felt and knew that the only thing really on his mind was probably his little brother’s happiness.**

**–**

“better than ever,” Sans said, sharing the same thoughts as his double. This time, he looked him in the eyes. “doesn’t remember a thing.”

And then he couldn’t look at them anymore.

“that’s why i’m gonna have to ask you all to leave.”

–

**“yeah. i understand.” Sans said. This was all too familiar.**

**He kneeled down and put a hand across his father’s shoulder. “dad we gotta go. pap can’t see you.”**

**Gaster sucked in a quick breath and nodded before very abruptly standing and spinning away, quickly walking back to the machine. He didn’t look at the other Sans as he left. Papyrus gave his younger older brother a sad look before doing much the same, his head hanging low.**

**Sans was the last to remain. He said nothing, the glowing dots of his eyes staring at his double before they eventually faded and the smile permanently plastered across his face twitched downward at the corners.**

**A hand reached out to pat his twin on the shoulder and give it a firm squeeze before turning to leave as well.**

**–**

Sans said nothing as he watched them go.

He was glad they’d gone without a fuss. That his twin was on his side.

He’d liked to have gotten caught up, maybe, he guessed. But that wasn’t going to happen. Not here, not now. It was enough to know they were still alive.

He had his own shit to deal with. He didn’t need to worry about anything else.

He teleported along the trees, following them back to the ship just out of eyesight.

At least he could see them off.

–

**Sans could tell that they were being followed but didn’t make any point of letting the others know. Gaster probably would have too, but… well, he was very preoccupied.**

**He stopped a few times as they walked back to their machine, Papyrus having to grab his shoulder and lead him along. It almost looked like he had mentally shut off.**

**His double was experiencing the same thing he had.**

**What if Chara found him?** **  
** **  
** **What if they didn’t?**

**What if he really had died? That would be for the best, surely.** **  
** **  
** **… What if they were trapped in the void?** **  
** **  
** **It was like reliving it all over again.**

**Was this fate? Did that shit actually exist? He recalled the conversation he had with his double all those years ago and couldn’t let it go.**

**Maybe Seer was right.**

**–**

Sans kept following at a distance, watching over them and making sure they made it to the machine. A time or two, a monster wandered close to their path and Sans intercepted them, stalling and turning people around with wide smiles and quick conversations.

It wasn’t much. But they’d get back to their machine without any trouble.

He hoped his dad was dead.

He really fucking hoped it, because if not, then that meant Sans had destroyed the machine that could get him back. Because he’d wanted to live, and Gaster was already gone, and he fucking hoped his dad was dead and the trio of time travelers left and never looked back. Maybe they’d find another universe with a Gaster just similar enough that they could pretend.

Maybe that would be for the best.

The machine was almost in sight.

–

**Sans was the first one to climb inside, just as eager as his double was to get them out of there. He knew what he was going through and knew the best thing they could do was leave and never come back. His double would maybe see the stars or… see his life end in front of him. Maybe both one after the other.**

**A part of him wondered if his twin’s fate had been one he had seen years ago. He didn’t let himself linger on the thought.**

**Papyrus helped his father in before closing the door behind them. The machine whirred to life and just as quickly as it had came, it was gone again.**

**–**

A moment before, and a moment after the machine vanished, it lingered on the edge of Nothing.

There were, mathematically, infinite infinities. The space between 0 and 1. The space between 1 and 100. Each different. Each unique. Some overlapping or curling inside each other, digesting each other like stomachs.

And silently, slowly, on the moment of here-and-gone, something reached out and left a message on a torn piece of paper

which had Gaster’s hand, but he had never written it

it said

–

**It wasn’t until they landed on the other side that Gaster noticed the note. While their machine parked itself in its usual place and the crew somberly began to make sure everything was still in order before heading home, he found it.**

**He stared at it.**

**That bastard was alive.**

**A part of him jumped with joy while the other half screamed.**

**For the first time in a very long time, he didn’t know what to do. Gaster mulled over the note for months, but he knew that the void was an endless expanse of infinite nothing. How could he possibly find his double among it all? He hadn’t even been able to find Chara.**

**He hoped his double could figure out something on his end. He hoped he figured out how to mess with the code just like he had. He hoped he could string something together out of the nothing to bring them close. An antenna. An… anything. Just anything would do.**

**Without telling the boys he set their course for the next while to jump towards timelines close to the one his double was originally from, just in case.**

**It was all he could do.**

**–**

The moment Gaster realized his double was aiming for worlds close to his own, he started looking for it.

That was how Gaster began to send interdimensional prank mail.

The void was pretty devoid of people to mess with.

Haha. Devoid.

…he needed better jokes.

–-

**His double’s interdimensional jokes were going to make him pick up drinking again.**

**It was… very strange. He hadn’t been able to send notes like this while he was in the void, not unless he put himself under serious duress. But these were playful, stupid little jabs at him so clearly they weren’t taking** **too** **much effort.**

**The bastard.**

**Either way he kept them all a secret, not wanting to tell his boys that they were hunting for his double. If they knew they would both probably tell him it was nuts, even Papyrus knew how infinite the void was. There was such a tiny chance that anything would happen that there was really no point at all to doing it when you had a much bigger enemy to face.**

**Still. He was glad his double kept up his sense of humor. Each note made him smile, even if it was outright insulting him.**

**During one of their many jumps there was a small hiccup. This had happened once before and it was always terrifying, but they could manage it. The machine stopped halfway between timelines and stopped in the void. It didn’t land with a crash or thud, but complete and utter silence.**

**Darkness stretched as far as the eye could see. There was no air. No sound.**

**There was nothing.**

**–**

There was

……?

Less than Everything.

It caught his attention and dragged it there. Held onto him. He couldn’t divert, not if he’d tried. Not if he’d wanted to.

He was standing in a fire and someone had just put out a small patch of it a little to the side, and even though he was still on fire, things over there looked a little bit cooler.

Sending notes helped him focus. Helped him pull his mind away from the **i n f i n i t e** and ground himself back in himself. Following one timeline or one person or one bad joke was another moment he had to himself. Writing one scathing note and slipping it in perfectly to the moment of departure between timelines was a test of concentration.

In the same way, he was able to pull himself together–pull himself from being stretched for miles and miles and all his atoms being lightyears apart–and tug himself in a direction.

There was a direction. And it was emptiness.

He dragged the whole of himself towards it. No legs, no arms, with whole galaxies in his mouth, and things much too big for someone used to being so small.

The light and color and sound and sensation and SPACETIME followed him, curling off what he remembered of his coat.

He headed into the first quiet he’d heard in forever.

–

**They all knew something was wrong as soon as they tried to speak and nothing came out. Papyrus looked like he was going to panic for a moment, Sans quickly reaching out to him to calm him down. The first time he had seen what the void was like he had a panic attack. It was just so… dark and… endless. It scared him. It scared Sans too.**

**Gaster signed to them to stay calm before opening the door and slowly peeking out into the nothingness. It was strange. He should have been terrified of this place, but… after awhile you couldn’t be. Hundreds, possibly thousands of years had felt like they had passed with him trapped here. The silence was welcome almost. The entire expanse of the nothingness was** **him** **.**

**The doctor stepped down and onto what could be called as the floor, his entire lower body suddenly merging with it. It was easier to move that way, as though his body knew it was supposed to be here.**

**He wanted to check their surroundings and make sure things were safe before getting to work.**

**–**

He came to a place he’d never been to before.

There was nowhere he’d never been to before.

He reached one hand out, then ten, then a hundred, and felt over the divide. It wasn’t much of a divide. It was a mottled, rabid landscape that didn’t know how to smoothly meld from one side to another. It was a precipice. It was a mountainscape. It was a… void?

A real void. On the other side. A void, with nothing in it.

He wondered what would come with him if he just… went. For a while. Where he would go. There was nowhere he’d never been before.

He crossed the divide. The noise and light and sound stayed with him, but they were muffled.

For the first time in forever, they were muffled. He heard a hundred Sans and Papyruses calling out to each other, rather than a billion. Thousands of waterfalls, instead of a million roaring oceans. He could see and hold his body together with more ease than he could’ve imagined a moment before. And he could feel his own mind and hear his own thoughts with so much more clarity.

He moved further into the void.

Because even though it was a void, he felt certain there was something inside it, and it hummed with a familiar vibration he wasn’t about to ignore.

–

**Gaster closed the door to the machine behind him, knowing that it was very discomforting to both of his boys to see the nothing that lay beyond.**

**He moved around to one side of the machine and looked around nervously before beginning to unscrew one of the side panels. He already knew the culprit behind this mess, some dumb trip of wire that could be fixed in a matter of minutes.**

**Still. These were… very tense minutes.**

**The doctor constantly looked over his shoulder, waiting to see if any windows happened to pop up or a red glow appeared. If Chara showed up here he couldn’t fight them.**

**He would lose.**

**–**

A dim glow appeared on the–if the void had one, it would’ve been the horizon.

Tinted red. Then blue. PurpleyellowViolent Bloody Red

–

**Light was very hard to miss in the void.**

**As soon as he saw it Gaster froze, then spun around and furiously started working as fast as he could.**

**–**

After the light came sound.

Even in nothingness, sound always seemed to move just a little bit more slowly.

Footsteps. Clothing ruffling. None of those things were actually happening, Gaster had no feet and no real clothes to ruffle, but–the idea was there, in a memory, in his head, of what movement used to sound like.

He spotted the ship shortly after, and felt the different sort of vibrations that Existed because that machine Existed and the shape in front of it on the control panel Existed and since it Existed that meant Gaster could t o u c h  i t.

And he was beside the machine.

–

**Gaster would have screamed were he actually capable of it in the void.**

**His eye sockets sprung open and he… stared. At himself? Not himself?**

**what.**

**–**

He was a Gaster. And a ball of lightning. And a dead human, standing upright, smiling a dead smile. Instead of starlights in his eyes, he just had star clusters, and when he opened his mouth to make a sound, a thousand other Gasters’ voices screamed out like torture.

And when he moved his hands, he said, _G a s t e r ?_

–

**He… really had no idea what the fuck he was looking at.**

**The sound made him recoil and throw his hands over where his ears would be. Sound shouldn’t exist here. Light shouldn’t exist here. This was WRONG. This was HIS PLACE and HE KNEW WHAT COULD HAPPEN HERE.**

**He looked at the signs and his body began to relax.**

_**‘… Kidster?’** _

**–**

Gaster smiled. It still looked pretty well like a smile.

 _You fucking goop,_ he replied, ecstatic.

–

_**Holy shit.** _

**Gaster dropped his tools, his body moving towards his double in a wave before wrapping his arms around him.**

**–**

Gaster rippled.

He curled into the hug, wrapping his own arms around his double’s ‘shoulders.’

It was like the quiet he’d been chasing finally reached out to him, and everything finally… relaxed. If he spoke, it woud’ve been with one voice. If he’d looked, his eyelights would have been his own again, without effort.

Contact with his double canceled his ‘void’ out.

He wondered if it were the same for his twin.

But that was a thought for later.

For now, he just hugged back as tightly as he could.

It was good to see him again for real.

–

**Gaster hugged him for longer than he had ever held anyone else before that wasn’t his sons. He stood there, arms wrapped around his double and afraid to let go. It was… it was obvious that they had experienced something radically different. He wanted to ask about it, wanted to talk.**

**But… later.**

**The nothing held onto the infinite for a bit longer before slowly, finally pulling away. His smile was broader than he had ever seen it.** **‘ _You look in a lot better shape than I do for being ripped to pieces.’_**

**–**

He didn’t want to let go.

He let go.

It all came flooding back, and he–spread, for a moment, like a gas being released out of a container, before he managed to drag himself back together, particle by particle. He managed it in time, focusing hard on his double’s words, and grinned back.

 _It’s not that much of a surprise,_ he said, _I was always the better looking one_.

–

**Gaster looked completely and utterly offended,** **‘ _WOW_.’**

**Hesitantly he turned, an oily black appendage rising from the ground to hand him back the tool he had dropped. As much as he wanted to just stand and talk to his double, he knew how dangerous this place was and needed to get his boys home safe.**

**Speaking of which…**

_**‘You wanna hitch a ride out of this shithole?’** _

**–**

_I don’t know if it will work,_ Gaster said, _but fuck yeah._

He could have continued existing in his void. He’d grown accustomed to it. Started to meld, truly meld, into the fabric of reality, but–

But he missed being small. And he missed not knowing. And he missed his kids, and giving them hugs as something other than air particles.

And he’d lose nothing (or, haha, everything, if they were being accurate) by trying to go back.

–

**Gaster smiled and went to work, a few more strange appendages rising from the blackness around him and turning into white hands just like his own so he could sign and work at the same time.**

_**‘I have the feeling that… you weren’t trapped here all this time.’** _

**–**

Gaster’s signing produced sounds, like everything else about him. He existed in sound and motion, even in a place that completely lacked it.

 _This place is new_ , he said, _and I hope you appreciate how strange it is for me to say that at this point._

–

**_‘Uh, I can kinda guess?_ ’** **Gaster signed with his new hands.** _**‘You look about the opposite to me. The… everything and noise and… christ. man.’** _ **He shook his head,** _**‘You’re really disorienting, you know that? It’s very weird to hear things and see things in this place.’** _

**They were opposites, weren’t they? Again.**

**Fucking typical.**

**–**

_Sorry_ , Gaster said, still unable to stop smiling. Apparently, not even an indefinite time in the void could stop him from apologizing for things. _This is the quietest I’ve been since… I became like this. It’s so quiet here. Is this your void?_

He’d come to about the same conclusion as his twin, but damn.

He was honestly pretty okay with that after all this time.

–

_**‘Yep, this is it. Impressive, isn’t it?’** _ **He said flatly, obviously knowing that it was anything but.**

_**‘Yours was better, I hope…?’** _

**–**

Gaster laughed. It was static. _It is very different. This place is peaceful._

He was looking around as if he’d never seen something so wonderful to just look at.

–

**Gaster laughed with his hands and his expression turned a little grim.** **‘ _Sure let’s go with that.’_**

**He guessed it would be after his double had experienced what looked like** **everything** **.**

**–**

Gaster tried to look a little abashed. He seemed to be having a bit of trouble shaping his face into the proper shape for it. _Sorry. It’s just. Something different after so long is, it’s nice. I can actually **think** for once._

He understood how staying in a place like this for so long would’ve been maddening, especially without his own personal cacophonic symphony in the back of his head, but for the moment, it was just nice to have the moment.

He’d been living moment-to-moment a lot.

_How are repairs coming? Are the kids here?_

–

_**‘Shouldn’t be too much longer. The fix is pretty easy. You wanna do say hi? They’ve seen some crazy shit already, so if you explain yourself I’m sure they’ll be happy to-’** _

**Gaster never finished his sentence as a blinding red light appeared behind them. It was a massive window not unlike what his double had seen him open a few times in his world, but this one was covered with a bright, happy, smiling face made up of zeros and ones.**

**He stopped everything and slowly turned to look at it, the white dots of his eyes having turned into animated, dancing scribbles as the look on his face turned from joy to complete and utter horror.**

**Chara had found them.**

**–**

His double knew how to fix the machine. Not him. His double couldn’t not fix the machine. They’d all be stranded.

He didn’t know exactly what was going on, but–but he’d always remember Chara.

Still, he wasn’t prepared for the creature he saw in the window.

His double had to finish the machine.

Maybe he could hold them off? Buy time? Maybe. Maybe he could.

This void wasn’t his territory. He didn’t know it. He didn’t understand it. But he was part of his own domain, back in his own void, and when he summoned his bones and blasters, they came.

He fired them off at the window, hoping something hit. It all roared and cracked and warbled as his attacks flew.

_Fix your machine._

–

**Gaster had to do everything in his power to rip his eyes away from the window. He gave his double a look of panic before quickly going back to work.**

**The window shattered… only for 10 more to take its place. Each one began to fill up with zeros and ones.**

**01001000 01000001 01001000 01000001 01001000 01000001 01001000 01000001 01001000 01000001 01001000 01000001 01001000 01000001 01001000 01000001 01001000 01000001 01001000 01000001 01001000 01000001 01000001 01001000 01000001 01001000 01000001 01001000 01000001 01001000 01000001 01001000 01000001 01001000 01000001 01001000 01000001 01001000 01000001 01001000 01000001 01000001 01001000 01000001**

**–**

Gaster’s smile widened.

Widened.

This creature was a fool if they thought they could defeat him in a game of numbers.

There was So Much More to draw on.

More blasters and bones, all snarling and flying towards the windows.

If this creature was a hydra, he would simply outnumber the heads.

(he could not be infinity forever without disappearing from this space) something deep in his gut told him. But no matter. He didn’t have to be infinity forever.

He just had to be infinity for long enough.

–

**Just a few moments. A few moments was all he needed.**

**Each time his double blasted away a window, more appeared. At this rate it would just be a never-ending battle of… everything. Despite the void being nothing, it was also infinite. Infinite nothingness.**

**While the two fought Gaster quickly finished the repairs and signed for his double to follow, slamming the panel closed before gliding over towards the door to the machine.**

**He threw it open, both of his boys startled at the noises they had been hearing but both with strict instructions to always stay inside until he came back whenever they happened to end up here.**

**–**

He saw his double signing (from fourteen different angles) and had to pull himself back togther before following.

In the few moments it took, dragging what he’d had of himself back into a bare few points in X, he had to stop covering for his twin while he tried to follow onto the ship.

–

**The boys looked even more panicked upon seeing the other Gaster.**

**Their father signed a quick ‘it’s okay’ before making it over to the control panel and feverishly getting things running again. He hadn’t even bothered to reform legs, wanting desperately to get them all out before Chara did any damage.**

**He punched in coordinates before there was suddenly a red spike swarming with code speared through one end of the machine through the other side.**

**It went straight through Gaster.**

**–**

Gaster made it inside and tried to make himself as compact as possible to keep out of the way.

He could only watch as the red spike pierced his double.

He s̶̨̤̬̫̟̳͉ͮ̓̋ͭ͘͟ḩ̤̠͎̝̞͖͔̱̦̟͙̦̥̗͖̱͆ͭ̓̃̉͐̇͌̓̎͂͊̅̀̉̆ͪ̌͐͝ͅr̤͍͚̰͉͍̻̮̬̹̪̩̻͚͔̀ͨͮͤ̊ͩͤ̋ͦͭ̉͠͞i̠͓͇̩͇̩̞̯̮̖͈̹̞̩̲̟̼̩ͫ͗̂́ͭͤ̔͟͜͠Ę̶̛̪̹͚̖̰̥̜͙̀ͫ͋̋K̡̛̘̭̤̩̣̭ͭͤ̽̑̇ͩ̈̇̂̀ͤͣ̑̏̏̇ͅĘ̐͆̔̒̊̈̑ͥ͛̃̿ͪ̑̊̑̏̾̒҉̶̶̩͈̪̖̱̪͈̣̩͡ͅD͈̩̙͔͈̳̩̟̣̳̟̻̭͚̼̣͎͗̅̎͑̕͘͜͟


	14. Just Like Me pt 2

**Sans and Papyrus watched in shock as their father was skewered.**

**His form wobbled and rippled as the red code began to retract, a claw-like hand pulling out something white and glowing from Gaster’s back. It squeezed his soul tightly, black tendrils desperately clinging to it and trying to pull it back into the melting mass that was his body.**

**Papyrus shot to his feet, summoning an attack pointed like his father’s and slicing downward on the strange ‘arm’ that was tugging at his dad’s soul.**

**The code shattered like glass, but not before the hand clawed desperately one last time.**

**Gaster used what remained of his hand to thrust the lever forward.**

**The machine jumped.**

**Sound came back with intensity. The time machine crashed through the equipment of their lab and rolled over and over onto itself, tossing everyone around inside it like ragdolls before slowly sliding to a stop.**

**–**

Whatever it was that tethered Gaster to an infinity was ripped off him as they traveled dimensions. The lights stopped, the stars faded, and the sound became something closer to normal.

He melted.

By the time the machine stopped, he was little more than a smudge of black and white on the floor.

–

**The room was dark save for the occasional sparks from broken wire.**

**Sans was knocked out cold.**

**Both Gasters were little more than black puddles at his feet.**

**Papyrus was left alone.**

**His head was spinning but he was awake. The first thing his eyes focused on was the tiniest little glow at his feet.**

**His father’s soul was in three pieces, barely held together by the black slime.**

**Papyrus screamed louder than he ever had before.**

**–**

Funny enough, the sound of screaming was what gave him the shock to pull himself together.

What a familiar sound. It was so, so quiet.

Everything was so, so quiet.

He reformed as best he could, unused to not being pulled apart at the seams as he did. It was easier than he remembered, but he couldn’t complain about it.

He blinked up (two eyes, a bit melted, a bit odd from where they’d been held open so long) and gazed up at Papyrus. Then down at the soul. A shattered, but still living soul. Then back up at Papyrus.

His thoughts felt sluggish and echoing in the empty space of his head, but he connected the dots well enough.

“p͎̦̺̗̜̣a͍̬̩͕͖p̣̻̰̙̟͕ͅy̗r͈̞ͅu͙̖̬͕͉s̹̞̦̼.̥.͚͙̫̯͈ͅ.̹̠͈”

–

**Papyrus was shaking like a leaf. He looked over to the double of his father, tears streaming down his face. The shock seemed to melt away, replaced with action.**

**Despite the ringing in his head and the aches in every joint, the lanky skeleton jumped up and kicked the door of the time machine wide open. He darted out of sight, the sounds of clattering and shuffling in the dimly lit lab ending with quick footsteps as he jumped back into the machine with a bucket.**

**He hadn’t done this before, but he remembered Sans telling him about it. It was all he could do while his brother was knocked out cold.**

**“C-CAN YOU CHECK ON SANS?” Papyrus asked the double, although was unsure if he could even move yet. If he couldn’t, well… so be it. His brother wasn’t dust, so he was probably okay. Hopefully just a little rattled.**

**–**

Gaster nodded, pulling himself up onto his suddenly-new knees and–wobbling badly. He hadn’t had to balance in a very, very long time. Still. With one hand on the wall and a bit of magical cheating, he made his way to where Sans was slumped, running a hand over his head and back, searching for cracks and fractures as carefully as he could.

–

**Sans seemed fine, but he had probably yanked his head pretty roughly and possibly banged it against something just enough to knock him out cold. Perhaps he wasn’t quite as fragile as his double.**

**Meanwhile Papyrus very gently began to fold the ‘void’ overtop the soul in layers, covering it completely before gently lifting it up and setting it down at the bottom of the bucket. He then began to pile the rest in, gathering as much as possible until it was full.**

**There was still a lot more to gather up, but he would need another.** **  
** **  
** **Papyrus had dried his tears, focused with a very clear mission. He very gingerly carried the bucket out of the machine and set it down, then grabbed another and did the same.** **  
** **  
** **–**

He was relieved to see Sans was all right. Being knocked unconscious was dangerous, but it was better than being dusted. He began counting seconds (he could count seconds and expect them to find a stopping point?) , hoping the skeleton would come around quickly. Otherwise, he held still, watching Papyrus work.

–

**After the second bucket he looked at the double of his father, his voice shaking. “IS SANS ALRIGHT?”**

**He then realized that he actually didn’t really know who this ‘Gaster’ was. But… well… he only knew one other Gaster. It had to be him, right?** **  
** **  
** **“ARE YOU… ALRIGHT?”**

**–**

“Sa͜n͟s i̷s̶ ͠f͘i̶ne.” he said, his voice reverberating as if it came from somewhere much deeper than it really did. “H̴e’s ju͏st͝ u͡n̨c͜o̸n̷sc͘ious̵.͠ ̶W͟e̡'̛re b͝oth͡ f͟i̵ne.̶ ͢I̛s G͡as̕t̵er.̕..?”

He glanced over at his double.

What was left of his double.

…it had been… good to see him again. He didn’t want to say goodbye yet.

–

**Papyrus nodded before his mouth wobbled at the question. He tried to keep from crying again, busying himself by fetching a third and final bucket. “I DON’T KNOW.”**

**As he scooped up the last remains of his father, Sans finally stirred. He mumbled and reached for his head.**

**–**

Gaster really wasn’t in a position to be giving advice or comfort right now, still reeling and feeling oddly empty, but still, he tried. “He̕'͝s͡ n̡ot ̷sha͢t҉ter̡ed͘. T҉hat'̛s ͜a͘ ͜goo͠d ̷s̛i͜g͜n͏.̧ Fo̕cu͟s on͝ t҉ha͟t͡.”

When Sans muttered, he reached out and caught his hand, holding it lightly. “Yo҉u h͟it yo̷u͡r ̶h҉e͡ad͞.̢ ͟D͢on̵'̛t ̷move̕ muçh҉. ͡”

–

**Papyrus nodded and carried the last bucket out as Sans cracked open his eyes. “dad? jeeze… what… what happened?”** **  
** **  
** **–**

Gaster froze.

“U͢m̶.” He glanced at Papyrus, hoping for help. “U̷͘m̶͡m̢͘m҉̷m̛mm̷͜m̡m̧̡m̶̷m̷͠m̷.̷”

There was no good answer to that.

“.͘..Ch̵ar͡a ͝ca̶ught your D̕a͟ḑ.̛ ͢Į t̡hink͜ ̛hȩ'̨s͢ f͡in͘e̸. Papy̧r͏u͟s ͡i̶s t͢akįng͝ ͏c҉a̶re of͢ him͞. ̛B͠ut̴ yo̵u ͝n͝e͠e̸d̢ ̵t͠o͠ ͘n͘ot ͝f͢r͏eak͘ ou̷t͟ ̵an̢ḑ ̨t̨a̴ke ̡i͜t̛ ͡easy. Okay͜?̶”

Maybe just heavily implying he wasn’t Sans’ dad would be good enough??

–  
  
 **Papyrus climbed back into the machine just as the double was explaining everything.** **  
** **  
** **“… what?” Sans’ eyes opened a little more and he looked at his brother. His expression said more than words ever could.** **  
** **  
** **“no. nonononono.” He started to laugh, grin widening uncomfortably. “pap is he alive? what state is he in?”** **  
** **  
** **Papyrus couldn’t think of anything to say. He tried to choke out ‘he’s alive’ but the words caught in his nonexistent throat. Sans laughed harder and started to shake.** **  
** **  
** **His brother kneeled down and gently pulled him into a hug. The laughter turned into sobs.**

**Not again. Please not again.**

**–**

He could still hear it, faintly.

The vibration that was his twin.

It was weak and unsteady, but fuck if it wasn’t there, and fuck if he was letting his double’s kids fall apart in the meantime.

There would be a time for tears later. Never cry when it wasn’t safe to. Hold in emotions until in a safe place. It wasn’t safe now, and god damnit, his twin needed these two pulled together if he  was ever going to pull together again.

**“H̺̲̮̹̤̞͒̉͛ ͖̇ͫͨ͛ͥͭ̃Ē̻͎̥̘͈̰̭̆ͨ̚  ͇̼͂̉̿ͪ̓̋ͫ  ̖̻͚̳̭̳ͤ̀ͯI̲͇͖̹̬ͨ̿̉ͭ́͛ ̏̏͛͛ͯ̋̑S̲͈̪͈͕͉ͥͅ  ̑̑͐ ̰̯̥̖̎̎͋A͋͆ͤ̽̔ͥͪ ̻̬̼̎ͦ̓̒L̲̜̩͈̦̘̣̉ͩ ͉͖̖̱̤͕ͯ̄ͅỈ͇̼̹̻ͩ͑ͦ ̼̺̦͋͗ͬ̔̈V̩̩̜̻͖̪̺̋̅̓ͩ̔ͭ̚ ̉̓͂É̩̭͙̫̭̪͑ͨ̔ͦ̑̾”**

The machine gave a rattle with his volume.

“A̧n͟d ͘h͠e ne͝e͡ds ̶y͟ǫu tw̕o̴ ͘to̢ ̴pu̧ll҉ ̸y͝ou̷rsel҉v̷es ̵toge͢ther ̴if͞ he͡’s g͘o͡in͞g t͠o̧ s̕t͜ay tha҉t ͜way. Do you ͢hav͠e some҉wh͞e͞re ̶safe͡?͏”

–

**Both jumped a little with the sudden noise of Gaster’s voice. Papyrus looked a little ashamed that he hadn’t been able to say that himself. He just… his voice had left him and he didn’t know why.** **  
** **  
** **“EV-… EVERYWHERE IS SAFE HERE. WE’RE SAFE. I THINK.” Papyrus finally managed before looking at his brother. It took another moment to find his voice again. “HIS SOUL IS IN… PIECES, BUT HE’S HOLDING IT TOGETHER I THINK. I PUT HIM IN THE BUCKET ALONG WITH THE REST OF HIM JUST OUTSIDE. I…”**

**“… I DIDN’T KNOW WHAT ELSE TO DO BEYOND THAT.”** **  
** **  
** **Sans had calmed down, his eyes heavy-lidded. “no. yeah. that’s… that’s really all we can do.”**

**He felt so… so tired.**

**“just… give him some time… i guess. keep him close. keep him grounded like last time.” He looked between the two. “we should take him home. just… keep an eye on him.”** **  
** **  
** **He felt like he was going to pass out.**

**–**

Gaster watched the two talk, listening carefully. He saw the dazed look in Sans’ eyes and remembered, vividly, lifting his own Sans to transport him places when he was too tired. Could he do that again? This Sans seemed less fragile, but possibly concussed. He could try to do it again, anyway.

He turned to Papyrus.

“Where̕ is h͞o͡m̨e͞? Do̢ you h͞a̧ve͠ a̕ doc̴t͟o͏r̨ y͝o͞u ̷t͡r̴u͏st҉?͝”

–

**“WE’RE IN THE MOUNTAIN RIGHT NOW. WE’LL NEED TO TAKE A LOT OF ELEVATORS AND DO A LOT OF WALKING TO GET OUTSIDE WITHOUT DAD’S TELEPORTING. THEN WE COULD TAKE SANS TO TORIEL.” Papyrus looked down at his brother. “SHE’S THE BEST HEALER WE KNOW.”** **  
** **  
** **–**

Gaster nodded.

He wondered if he’d be allowed to break the mountain to get them out. Probably not.

“T͏hȩn̶ we s̴hou͟ld ͡g҉et̵ ͝movi͡ņg. I ͟can ̵car̷ry them̷. Sans ͟s̛hoưldn't҉ ͜m͏ove ͜ver̷y̵ ҉mu͘ch.͠ Do͝n'͝t l͜e̷t͢ ̢him fall͝ ̸as̛l͘eep͟.͠”

With that as his final verdict, he summoned a blaster.

His largest one. The dragon. It felt so small, but it would be something Sans could climb onto and had plenty of handholds. The ride would be smooth, and Gaster had a much lower chance of dropping him from the back of a Blaster than he might’ve had Sans moved while being levitated.

The buckets of goo, on the other hand, would be easy to carry.

He stood, wobbling again on his new legs, before stumbling. “…a͘n͢d̵ ̢i͡f ̢yo̸u҉ c͝ould͟ ̴h͡e̴l͟p͘ me bala̶nce҉, t̵ha͘t͘ ͞w͞ou͠l͜d̨ b͢e ̢hel̴p͡ful.͡”

He wanted to fall apart and rest a while. Get used to this silence and stillness and lack of color.

But not when the kids needed him.

–

**Papyrus nodded in agreement. He helped Sans up onto the blaster first before helping Gaster get his footing. Once he was confident he wasn’t about to fall over, he handed him one of the three buckets before taking the other two for himself.**

**He felt the most comfortable know that his father’s soul was in his hands.** **  
** **  
** **The skeleton would then lead his father’s double into an elevator, which would take them down and out of the lab. After that they would walk a bit through Hotland before jumping in yet another elevator. This one went sideways, carrying them through the tail end of Hotland and through the capitol.** **  
** **  
** **It looked to be suspended from the tall cavern ceiling, traveling above and around the buildings.** **  
** **  
** **As they passed a certain point images appeared on the wall in front of them, zooming past fast enough to animate.** **  
** **  
** **It was a cartoony image of one of his blasters laughing.** **  
** **  
** **–**

Gaster followed along closely, looking through the familiar-unfamiliar terrain and trying to move as quickly as he could.

Still, he couldn’t help but smile at the image of the blasters.

He wondered how much trouble his double had gotten into with that one, or if no one had cared by the time it were done.

He hoped he’d gotten into trouble. Maybe there was a good story behind it.

–  
  
 **Papyrus smiled a little at the image as well. It had been there ever since his father had built these strange sideways elevators. Not many used them and he had more or less built them just to get the three of them from the lab and back quicker if he wasn’t around to teleport.** **  
** **  
** **Or if he was feeling lazy.** **  
** **  
** **Maybe he just felt like building them anyway, just for the opportunity to put that stupid image on the wall.** **  
** **  
** **Eventually the elevator stopped and they stepped out, Papyrus leading them through the few empty streets and up through where the barrier once stood. Now the other side was a small parking lot.** **  
** **  
** **The skeleton made his way to an old yet pristine car parked under a tree.**

**–**

He’d never walked out the barrier before.

He’d seen the surface now, a thousand times through a thousand different eyes, and more. But he’d never actually walked out the barrier with his sons.

He wished it were his sons. He wished it were a better situation.

He walked out the barrier and kept his mouth shut. He followed Papyrus to the car, the Blaster still holding Sans steady, and he set what he was carrying of his twin down, just in case as he helped Papyrus open up the doors and begin trying to fit everyone in somehow that wouldn’t cause more damage.

They finally succeeded, and Gaster slipped into the back, keeping a watch over Sans and his double’s remains as he did, determined to keep them in as good condition as he could while Papyrus drove.

–

**With everyone secured Papyrus drove carefully down the mountain. The silence until now had been uncomfortable and strained, but even he found himself exhausted. He was trying really hard to keep himself a stable platform for Sans. The last thing they needed was him losing hope again.** **  
** **  
** **Their father would come back. Everything would be okay. They would just tell him some knock-knock jokes and out he would come, good as new.** **  
** **  
** **“I SHOULD… I SHOULD WARN YOU. OUR DAD NEVER REALLY GOT ALONG WITH MANY OF THE OTHER MONSTERS… OR HUMANS… YOU MIGHT BE MET WITH SOME HOSTILITY IF THEY THINK YOU’RE HIM.”**

**–**

Gaster shrank down at that, already dreading it.

He. He hadn’t been scared in so long, and now he was finally out of his void, and–

And the first thing that might happen would be hostility? Oh fuck. Oh fuck, oh fuck.

He nodded.

… “…if I'̛m a puddle̷,͠ ͠c̢an ̶I a̷v͘oid ͜the̵m?̴”

–

**Papyrus laughed but it was tired and a little forced. “YOU CAN TRY.”** **  
** **  
** **They made it down the mountain in good enough time before pulling up outside the row house Toriel lived in only a few blocks down from theirs.** **  
** **  
** **He got out and ran to the door, knocking to see if she was home before making any move to stir his brother, who was slumped and trying desperately not to fall asleep. He loved sleeping and this was… really hard.** **  
** **  
** **After a few moments Toriel appeared in the doorway, barely getting a hello in before Papyrus began talking her ears off about how Sans was hurt and they needed her to help.** **  
** **  
** **After only a few moments she was rushing to the car.** **  
** **  
** **–**

Gaster saw her approaching the car and for a moment panicked and destabilized, and a moment later pulled himself together, because there wouldn’t be much such a large monster could do in such a small car.

There wasn’t any room in the car this time to summon a blaster, so instead he used telekinesis to levitate Sans out without jostling him, hoping his twins’ non-reaction when he first saw telekinesis all those years ago was indicative of the rest of his world.

“I̧ ̧t̶hi̶nk͝ he̛ h͠a͝s ͢a ͞concu͘s̶si͏o̴n̛. ͢H͡e̷ ̷was͢ p̴a͞s̕sed o̷u̵ţ ̨for over thirt͟y ̕s͠e̷c͏onds͠. ̵”

–

**Toriel very gingerly removed Sans from the car, the telekinesis aiding in getting him into her furry arms. She shot Gaster a very untrusting look.** **  
** **  
** **“s’not dad, tori.” Sans mumbled as he clutched his head. “time stuff. different dad.”** **  
** **  
** **The former queen looked confused, but her expression lightened. “I… well… if you say so.” She began to carry Sans inside, Papyrus hovering for a moment and looking between the buckets that were his father and his brother.** **  
** **  
** **“CAN YOU STAY WITH SANS? I WANT TO GET DAD HOME.” He asked Gaster, not wanting to leave his father’s soul OR his brother unattended.**

**–**

Gaster nodded, less than thrilled with the prospect, but willing to see the logic.   
  


“.҉..h̶ow̕ ͝sho͡ul̡d I͜ beh̶av̛e̡ ar͢o̢und ̵the ̡Q͏ue͟en͏?”

–

**At that Papyrus smiled, “JUST BE YOURSELF. ONCE SHE REALIZES YOU AREN’T OUR DAD YOU’LL GET ALONG FINE.”** **  
** **  
** **He walked around the car to get into the driver’s seat again. “AND SHE ISN’T THE QUEEN ANYMORE. SHE’S A TEACHER.”** **  
** **  
** **Sans was trying to do at least some legwork for his father’s counterpart. Toriel carried him inside and set him down on the couch. “he won’t hurt the kid either. this dad is a big softie.”** **  
** **  
** **Well. Not really. But more behaved. He wasn’t really up to being specific right now.** **  
** **  
** **–**

Gaster nodded, not very pleased with that but not knowing what more to do, and stumbled behind Toriel to get inside.

–

**Toriel sighed and kneeled in front of Sans, her hands glowing as they hovered over his skull. “I trust you, Sans.” Either way she glanced warily at the other Gaster. “What happened?”** **  
** **  
** **“Mom?!” Came a voice from the kitchen before a teenage human peered around the corner. “What’s going on?”** **  
** **  
** **“Sans is hurt, but he will be alright.”** **  
** **  
** **The human dropped whatever they were doing and rushed into the living room, pausing only slightly to look at the Gaster before heading to the couch. “That’s not the same Gaster, is it?” They asked, somehow able to tell all on their own.** **  
** **  
** **“nope.” Sans smiled a little.** **  
** **  
** **“No talking.” The boss monster chided.** **  
** **  
** **–**

Gaster wasn’t really sure what to say about what had happened, and before he could decide whether he was supposed to lie or make up a story, the human had arrived.

He flinched back violently, knocking against the wall and pressing his fingers to the holes in his hands tightly, as if trying to distract himself, even if he was looking only at the human.

He remembered, vaguely, that he’d only ever told his double about his–his own history with Chara.

This human looked nothing like the creature that had attacked them in the void, and all the world like the human who’d finally given him hope and died anyway.

He hated time travel. He hated time travel. He _hated_ time travel.

He dragged his eyes away from Chara and tried to focus on his alternate-dimension kid. He felt like he’d been asked a question. He’d already forgotten it.

–

**Frisk stared at the other Gaster. “… Does every Gaster react violently to me?”** **  
** **  
** **Toriel inhaled sharply, annoyed by the entire situation. “My child, can you go fetch some pillows for Sans please?”**

**The human nodded and did just that, turning and heading down a hallway.** **  
** **  
** **“So.” Toriel began again, looking at Gaster with annoyance. Her patience was thin with Gasters apparently. “Tell me what happened.”**

**–**

Gaster shrank down at that look being given to him from a boss monster of all creatures.

He didn’t want to die yet. He’d only just gotten back…

“.̡..͠the ma͜chi̕n̡e͘ ro̸l͢l̢ed ̨aņd ̢o̢vęrtur̴ne̷d.͠ ̕Sans̨ ̴h͡i͟t ̷t̢h͞e͏ ҉w͜all and ͏wa͝s kno͡cke͜d ̵un͏c̷ons͜cio͜us̶.͏”

–

**Toriel nodded, “And what happened with their father? I did not see him in the car. Papyrus said that he was hurt.”** **  
** **  
** **–**

“He's͜ ͟a ̨p͜ud̡d͡le r͝i̕ght ͏n͘ǫw,” Gaster said, wishing he could say the same about himself. “B̧ut he̵'̧l͝l ͘b͏e fi̴ne͞.”

He shot a meaningful look to her as he said it, feeling as bold as he could and flicking his eyes towards Sans, hoping she got the message.

–

**There seemed to be some unspoken parental understanding. She nodded and looked back down at the skeleton, who was still struggling to stay awake but feeling better with the healing.** **  
** **  
** **“I will not pry about how they have ended up with** **two** **fathers. I have given up asking Sans about it years ago.”** **  
** **  
** **Sans would have made a quip right then, but thought better of it and stayed silent. A moment later and Frisk came back with some pillows and a blanket.**

**–**

Gaster held still as Chara reentered the room, watching warily. “Ah̸.̴ ͠Y͞e̶s. We̵l͞l͡. G̨o͜o̷d idea̷.”

He wasn’t feeling quite brave enough to quip yet. Not with this crowd.

–

**An awkward quiet fell over the room as Frisk and Toriel helped Sans lift his head up enough for the pillow and put a blanket over him, then set about getting him something to drink for later.** **  
** **  
** **After a few moments Toriel’s clawed hands withdrew and she sighed. “You will be fine. Just rest for awhile and don’t move too much.” She managed a smile, “I know that will not be hard for you to accomplish.”** **  
** **  
** **Sans smiled tiredly, “you know me all too well.”** **  
** **  
** **–**

Gaster watched from his distance on the corner, wondering if he could get a little closer to his alternate-dimension kid without causing some sort of stir.

Still. It was good to see they had friends in this dimension, ready to take care of them.

After a few more moments, he couldn’t fully stand the quiet anymore and asked, voice a bit more distorted than he intended, “͟When w͠įll ̛he ͝b͘e ͏ab̷le to ̕go͞ h͜om̡e?̨”

–

**“I would say a few hours until he gets his bearings.” Toriel stood up, “Until then you should stay with him. Keep him awake.” She seemed to force out the words. “Sans trusts you, so… so will I.”** **  
** **  
** **She sighed, “Would you like some pie while you wait?”** **  
** **  
** **–**

Gaster relaxed a moment, feeling a bit safer with Sans’ blessing apparently protecting him, but–

…well. His initial reaction to that was to say, ‘if it’s not any trouble,’’ since it was incredibly rude to turn down offered food and he wasn’t about to piss off the boss monster, but then he stopped, realizing–

“͟…I҉'d̕.͞.. s̡ay ͏y͡es, ̕b̢ut..͜.͡ ͝I’m ̡no̶t͜ ̴a̧ct̕u͝ally ̢s̢ur͢e I ͏can ҉e͜a̸t͝ ͏liķe th̵i͏s.͘.̨.”

–

**“try it anyway, G.” Sans said from his position on the couch. “dad eats sometimes even though he doesn’t need to. i don’t even know if he can taste it.”** **  
** **  
** **Despite everything Sans seemed okay talking about his father.**

**–**

Gaster nodded, considering that. He signed, a bit startled to find it wasn’t nearly as loud as he’d come to expect with clinks and rattles and bells, and–he sighed, _If he can’t, it’ll be another thing for me to nag him about, at least._

What he said to Toriel was, “T̕h̶e̵n, if͢ ͏i̛t's͏ not ̷a͘ny troưb҉l͟e̢…?”

–

**“It is no trouble.” Toriel said, offering him a tiny smile before vanishing into the kitchen. This Gaster did seem much more polite at least.** **  
** **  
** **“hey.” Sans looked up at Gaster and shifted his hand under the blanket before weakly holding his cellphone out to the goo. “do me a favor and call paps. let him know i’m okay.”**

**–**

Gaster nodded, moving over to sit on the floor beside Sans’ spot without any hesitation, now that there was no one else in the room. He took the phone and found Papyrus’ number quickly, dialing.

_Should I put it on speaker?_

–

**“nah, it’s fine.”** **  
** **  
** **The phone only had to ring twice before Papyrus picked up, “ARE YOU ALRIGHT?”** **  
** **  
** **–**

“͡He'͟s͜ ͏fįne.̵ ͟He's҉ ri̡g͡h͠t͟ ͠be͞si͏de͢ ͠m̨e. Ţh̸e ̧Quee͝n i͞s go͢ing ̡to keep͜ ̡h̡i͠m͏ here a fe̶w̡ ̶ho̧ur̵s ҉un͘ti͠l ͝he'̵s f̢u͞ll̶y҉ bett̸er̢.͟” he said quickly as he could, not moving the phone from his ‘ear’ even with Papyrus’ loud volume. It didn’t bother him anymore. “Hơw ̕i̕s͡ y͢o͝ur f͏a̴ther?”

–

**“OH. OKAY.” Papyrus said, then fell quiet at the question.** **  
** **  
** **“I’VE… MOVED HIM INTO A LARGER COOLER. I’VE JUST BEEN TALKING TO HIM.”**

**Another pause, “NOTHING HAS CHANGED.”** **  
** **  
** **–**

“Ţh͏at’s ͜n͢o͟t a b̷ad th͜i͏n͝g͠,͏” Gaster said, “̕͡T̷hat̵ me͏an̷s ̛t̴hi͟ngs̴ ar̴e͘n̢'t̨ ͢a͢n͏y wo̢rse̶. H̕e̷'s̴ sta̵ble.̴ ̴Y͟ou’re doinģ ̡well̛.”

It was like having his own nervous Papyrus all over again. He kept his voice as steady as he could, despite the shatteredness of it, and tried to think of more to say. “͟T̛el͘l͠ h̶i͠m͜ Sa̶ns is al͝l ri͘g̡ht ̷a͠s w҉eļl͜. ̴I̴'͝m sure the b͟astar̢d̡ wi͘ll ̡be f̸r̶eak҉i̛ng o͡ut͠ if ̨y̷ou͝ ̛do̷n’t.̨”

He wasn’t really thinking about anyone else hearing him call his twin a bastard. It was just. Sort of what they called each other sometimes.

–

**Papyrus nodded even though the gesture went unseen through the phone. “YES. YOU’RE RIGHT. I WILL.” His smile was audible, even if it was just as tired as Sans. “THANK YOU.”** **  
** **  
** **–**

Gaster relaxed, losing his form just a bit more, pleased to hear Papyrus’ tone changing. “̴I̸f͢ you ̶nee͜d ̡an͜y̶th̛ing͞,̨ ca͜ll͝ San͏s.̢ I̢'ll̶ ̕be rig̵ht ̢b̢esi̶d͜e̴ him ͞u̴n͡til ̡we҉ ge̷t b͟ack͜ t̸o͏ ̷y͏ou͢.̷ T͞ȩll ҉G̛o͏opste͏r̢ ̵I̵'͠m͢ l̸aug͘h҉in͘g ̶a̢t͠ him.̵”

He paused, then, not really sure how to say goodbye to his twin’s au children, before settling on a, “se̢e you s͡o͡on,” he’d use with a friend rather than anything he’d have said to his own children.

–

**“OKAY.” Papyrus said, still smiling. “GOODBYE. SEE YOU SOON.”** **  
** **  
** **Sans didn’t say anything after Papyrus hung up. He could infer everything that he had said well enough. A moment later and Toriel came back out with a plate of pie, handing it down to Gaster. “Here you are.”** **  
** **  
** **–**

He set the phone back up on the couch beside Sans, easily in reach. When Toriel returned, he quickly straightened up as if stung, tensing and pulling his form more solid once more. He seemed much more easily malleable than his counterpart.

“̴̕T͜ha̢nk ̢yơu,” he managed, taking the plate, and hoping whatever she saw with him was acceptable.

–

**It seemed to be acceptable enough. Toriel didn’t linger, moving back into the kitchen. The sound of plates and cutlery filled the silence, the living room dark and being illuminated only by the soft glow from where the boss monster busied herself.** **  
** **  
** **“she likes you.” Sans smiled and glanced down at Gaster. “she gave you pie.”** **  
** **  
** **–**

He looked up, still holding the pie in his hands, not yet daring to try it. “..̴͢is̸ t̡h͟at how it go͟es͡, he̶re̢?”

He began to relax again somewhat, melting once more against the couch.

“.͢.it͘’s ̵şo qu͞ie͘ţ he̡r̷e͟…̵”

–

**“that’s how it goes with tori.” Sans smirked and glanced down at Gaster again. “yeah?”** **  
** **  
** **He hadn’t gotten a long enough look at his father’s double before they jumped to be able to tell what he meant. Right now he was just… a goop. A goop like his dad.** **  
** **  
** **–**

Gaster nodded slowly, his gaze dropping back down to the pie. To the gentle shadows of the house. The glow from where Tori was working. It was all so… subtle. Blended. No sharp edges, anywhere.

“it ͠w̧a̢s so̧ ̨l̴ou̷d ͝fo͟r s̨o͡ long̛.͏ Untiļ ̧Gaste̡r c̷am͠e, ͜I̧ thi͏ņk I͞ for̡got̨.͘.̴.”

Gaster was going to be okay. Sans was going to be okay. He was free. He could go see his boys again.

Gaster choked on a sound and began to melt.

–

**“sounds like the opposite of what dad told me about the void. the opposite to what i saw.” Sans said, then blinked at the sound.** **  
** **  
** **“y’okay?”** **  
** **  
** **–**

Gaster nodded again, to both questions, not feeling quite capable of replying verbally. He continued to melt, forming a small dark puddle on the floor.

He pushed the pie out of the danger zone a few seconds before his hand melted as well, a white streak in a dark mass.

–

**Sans watched as best he could from his position on the couch, but remained silent. This Gaster acted a lot different than his when it came to ‘gooping’ and he wasn’t sure what this meant.**

**If it meant anything he needed to know about, Gaster would probably tell him.** **  
** **  
** **–**

Gaster eventually ended up as a slightly lumpy mass on the floor, which was about what his emotions felt like at the moment.

A huge mass on the floor.

It’d been a long time since he’d cried, he thought, maybe, but–this was about as safe as it was going to get for the next few hours, and he just had to watch over Sans and not worry him and he could literally fall apart for a little while as long as he pulled himself back together when needed, right?

…he hoped The Queen didn’t come back and see him like this.

–

**A few moments later and the Queen definitely did return. She let out a startled yelp at the puddle on the floor before eventually sighing and trying not to pay it much mind. She walked over and began to get Sans sitting up slowly before handing him a glass of water.**

**“Was my pie that good?” She joked.**

**–**

The goop seemed to shrink away a bit, avoiding her as she approached Sans.

When she spoke, he formed enough of a head and mouth again to say, “͜S͏o͜r̢r͢y͞. Hąd̸ a̴ s̴m̴all͞ ̨męlt̸down̡.͢”

–

**“I can see that.” Toriel said, but sounded kind. She was warming up to this new Gaster quickly it seemed. “You are a very far cry from your… twin.”** **  
** **  
** **“we got the bad dad.” Sans smirked.** **  
** **  
** **–**

“̴Y͢ou͘ ̵go͝t̡ t̵he̕ ͠o͟b̕vi҉ou͏s͢ o͞n͢e͟,” Gaster said, wondering if he’d ever stop correcting people about that. “͠M̵in͡e g͢ot̶ th̶e ̢ha͏n̡d͝so͜m̛e ͘on͝e.”

He hated to reuse jokes, but. Well. That was a lie. He was entirely reused material.

–

**Toriel chuckled a bit, the sound loving and kind. Her attention then turned to Sans. “Once you drink that and you think you can walk, I think it is safe for you to go home. Do you wish for me to drive you?”** **  
** **  
** **“that might be good, yeah.” It wasn’t a very far distance, but he didn’t exactly want to walk it right now.** **  
** **  
** **–**

Gaster began to reform a bit more solidly, getting his… basic body shape back. He listened to them talk and waited for them to work out the plan.

“C̡all̸ ͘Papyru͘s?̕”

–

**“yeah.” Sans said, grabbing his phone and punching his brother’s name before handing it down to Gaster. He still didn’t feel up to talking all that much right now and knew Papyrus would be of fewer words with their father’s double over himself.** **  
** **  
** **–**

Gaster was starting to remember why he liked signing all the time, but dialed regardless.

“He'll͞ ͏̛b͏e ho͢m̡e so̷o̶n.”

–

**“OKAY. THE DOOR IS STILL UNLOCKED. I’M IN DAD’S ROOM.”** **  
** **  
** **After hanging up and Sans had finished his drink, Toriel helped him up and guided him to her car. Once everyone was in they drove to the next block over and parked outside the apartment complex the three lived in.** **  
** **  
** **Toriel helped guide Sans to the door before bidding them both goodbye, urging them to call should they need anything.** **  
** **  
** **Inside was tidy and mess all at the same time. You could tell where Papyrus had cleaned recently and where Sans or his father had abruptly messed it up again. The entryway was cluttered with a skateboard, shoes, papers, and keys. When you moved into the living room there was a somewhat lumpy couch sat in front of a large TV with a multitude of electronics hooked to it at nearly every angle and port along with piles and piles of books ranging from physics and the planets to the plants of the surface and human biology.** **  
** **  
** **It opened up to the dining table and kitchen which was… surprisingly clean. Papyrus must have been the only one to ever really make use of it. Shooting off that was a long hallway with four doors. One was covered in colorful posters, one was normal and boring, and another looked like it had been kicked down once or twice.** **  
** **  
** **Sans lead Gaster through the house and to that door.** **  
** **  
** **–**

He kept his head down and quiet throughout the car ride and goodbyes. Even if this Queen was apparently relatively pleased with him, he was still going to err on the side of caution.

The house. Was homey? It felt lived in, and comfortable, and cluttered. He wondered, in another life, if his house might’ve become something a bit more like this, with the boys growing up with him.

Not the time to wonder, right now. He could find out later, maybe. That would be good.

He followed Sans to the more battered door of the hall, and followed him in.

–

**It was obvious as soon as you entered that this was Gaster’s room.**

  
**Nearly every part of the walls were covered in notes and string and marker. Half of them looked like completely rational notes and calculations while the other half looked like the insane scribbles and a madman. There was no real bed, just a pillow and a blanket thrown into the corner. Pieces of electronics torn apart and rebuilt were scattered everywhere, some of them plugged in and some not. Blueprints were rolled up and shoved into what was probably meant to be a trashcan, but had since become someplace for him to store them.** **  
** **  
** **Papyrus was sat on the floor by a battered old stool in front of a messy desk, a cooler beside him filled with black slime. He looked up at them as they entered.** **  
** **  
** **He had been crying again.**


	15. Just Like Me pt 3

Oh yeah.

This was a good room.

At least, it was until he got a good look at Papyrus.

He broke away from Sans, heading towards the kid and settling down between him and the cooler, staring down at the goop.

He gave the kid a long look, waiting for him to talk first.

–

**Papyrus sniffled and wiped any remaining tears away before looking down at the cooler. “GASTER IS BACK. SANS IS HERE NOW.” He hugged his legs a little tighter, pulling them up against his chin. Sans took a seat in front of them both, his eyes vacantly staring into the cooler that contained their father.**

**“SANS IS OKAY.”** **  
** **  
** **–**

Gaster sighed.

“Papyr̨us,̨” he said after a moment.  “w̡h̷y͝ ͝do͠ņ't͝ you̵ ҉an͡d San͏s̸ r̵est̡?͠ I̸t'̢s͠ ̷bee̢n͟ ͟a̕ lo͡ng day̧.̸ I’ll ̧look a̸ft̨er͏ Go͜o͡p.͜”

It wasn’t the best argument, but it might work. “He͏'l͝l̸ ͘be o͞k̕ay. ͟H͠ȩ ̶p̴r̕o͟babl͏y ̵j̸ust͟ nee͏d̕s͠ s͝om͜e t͞im͠e ͜tǫ rest, ţơo.͢”

He had to do something to soothe these kids, though.

–

**Papyrus glanced at Gaster, then down at the cooler. For a moment it looked like he was about to disagree. He didn’t want to leave his dad’s side.** **  
** **  
** **“dad’ll be here when we wake up.” Sans tried to encourage, looking dead in more ways that just being tired. “you want me to sleep with you tonight?”** **  
** **  
** **The taller skeleton hesitated for a moment before nodding and standing up.** **  
** **  
** **“ok.” Sans took his brother’s help getting to his feet and gave Gaster a thankful look before holding Papyrus’ hand and walking back to his room.**

**–**

Gaster watched them go.

He hoped they got some sleep. Still, once they were gone, he turned and looked down at the cooler, muttering, “Y͘ou better̕ get b̵et͜t̢e͏r̡ ̧qu͜ic̷k ̕a̡n͝d ̛ap̧ol̶ogi͢z̛e f͏or mąk͏in̷g ̨P͏ap̡yru̸s͞ c̷ry͘,̷ ̧yoư ̕pi̵ece͟ o̧f ͞s̕hiţ.”

Then he waited.

And waited.

And waited.

–

**Gaster would be waiting all night. There wasn’t the slightest stir, the slightest movement, a single bubble. The slime was still from dusk to dawn.** **  
** **  
** **Early the next morning birds were chirping happily outside the window, sunlight shining through a set of blinds that looked like they had been broken at an odd angle at one point and never fixed. Yet still the goo didn’t move.** **  
** **  
** **Papyrus was the first one awake. His footsteps broke the silence, stopping just outside the door before he slowly cracked it open and peered inside.** **  
** **  
** **He looked like he barely managed any sleep at all.** **  
** **  
** **–**

Gaster had lost his form over the night, but at the sight of Papyrus, burbled back into shape and tried to smile up at him. He hadn’t slept at all. He may have forgotten how. “…̴ģo̡ e͜aţ ҉bręa͘kfast Papy̵rus͜.̧ ͜H̡e͝'͢s s͜ti̷ll͘ he̶r͠e̕.”

–

**Papyrus lingered for a moment before speaking, his voice abnormally quiet for what it usually was. “DID HE SAY ANYTHING?”** **  
** **  
** **–**

Slowly, Gaster shook his head.

He couldn’t lie right now.

–

**Papyrus tensed his lower jaw and was soon gone, turning away from the door and walking down the hall into the kitchen. He made himself cereal even though he really didn’t feel like eating. He hated cereal. He found it to be a lazy start to the day and so much worse than a healthier breakfast with fruit. He tried to make up for it by slicing a banana into it.** **  
** **  
** **Without even thinking he started some coffee. Dad always liked coffee. Sans did too. He hated it.** **  
** **  
** **–**

Gaster sighed and went back to watching the cooler.

Surely his twin wouldn’t be gone much longer, right? He really was stable, and not slowly breaking down… right?

He smelled coffee and wondered, vaguely, if pouring a cup in his twin’s goop would hurt anything.

Might give him some motivation

The jerk.

–

**Eventually the sound of Sans waking up broke the sound of the coffee maker bubbling away. His slippers shuffled along the hallway.** **  
** **  
** **They didn’t even bother to stop at Gaster’s door.** **  
** **  
** **He went into the kitchen and made himself a cup of coffee, the two brothers sitting in painful silence as they wondered what they were supposed to do now other than wait. Wait and see if their dad could bounce back from this.** **  
** **  
** **The lab was a mess. The time machine was broken. Their father was in shreds.** **  
** **  
** **At one point Sans and Papyrus had been able to live rather happily just the two of them. It was normal even. But now…** **  
** **  
** **Now…** **  
** **  
** **There was no Gaster reading the news beside them. There was no talk of their plans for the day. There were no puns being shot back and forth to annoy Papyrus. There was no nagging for Gaster or Sans to take better care of themselves.** **  
** **  
** **There was just silence.** **  
** **  
** **–**

Was. Was this really happening?

The morning stretched on, and still, the goo didn’t move. He was enjoying the quiet, even if he wasn’t used to it, picking out a thousand small sounds in the humming of the house and the bustling outside he wouldn’t have noticed back when he were actually alive, but–but now it was starting to grate on him. Just sitting here, waiting.

He cursed, loudly.

And he reached out with his magic, trying to at least brush against his twin’s soul without shattering it.

They were basically the same person, right?

He just needed to know if anything was actually healing.

He needed to know if anyone else really had to die.

–

**Gaster was… in a very strange state. His soul was still splintered into pieces, the void now coiled around each part tightly and keeping them from drifting apart further than they had already, but they were still just pieces. They had barely moved together since the night before.** **  
** **  
** **He was there but he wasn’t.** **  
** **  
** **The very, very basic imprint of Gaster was there, barely holding the pieces together, but aside from that tiny speck of who he was there was nothing.**

**No personality. No snark. No** **being** **.**

**It was just desperation. Desperation clung the pieces together with strength that was barely there. It was trying to pull them together but it was… so hard and he was so, so tired. So weak.** **  
** **  
** **Gaster was stretched to his limits, only the basic fundamentals of who he was keeping his soul from shattering completely.**

**–**

Haha. That was funny. It. It kind of felt like. His twin was just a speck of panic in a void.

That was really fucking funny.

He heard the sound rising again. In his head. Just. Screaming ' _no_.'

Because death happened. He knew that. His twin knew that. They’d both come as close to death as any freak of nature possibly could, and he’d just gotten back, he’d just gotten to hug his twin, this wasn’t fucking fair–

Magic laced over him like lightning, and he plunged his hands into the goop that once made up his double’s body.

He found the parts of his double’s soul.

And he pulled.

–

**There was nothing to stop his twin from doing what he wanted. Gaster didn’t have enough awareness of his surroundings to even know what was going on that wasn’t mere inches from his soul.** **  
** **  
** **He could feel the pieces being pulled together. Without even thinking the goo coiled and coiled and coiled around those broken pieces to tug them closer and closer.** **  
** **  
** **–**

It was surprisingly easy to find the cracks in the soul. The rigid edges where they’d broken off. The places where it all was meant to fit. Maybe because he was looking at something substantial in a pit of nothing. But he kept pulling, his movements slowly as the pieces came closer and closer together, and he tried to guide them into the right places, matching faults against faults and breaks against breaks.

It was like a puzzle. The sort both their Papyruses would’ve liked. It was a lot worse than a puzzle.

He held the pieces in place, refusing to let them pull apart. Only letting them shift to better fit together.

–

**As the pieces pulled together and slowly started to settle, the void filling in the cracks and gluing it all together, Gaster came back a little. It wasn’t in one piece, it still had a lot of work before it would be healed, but he… felt a little like himself. A vague idea of himself.**

**The goo around his double’s arms seemed to tighten in the only hug he could manage.** **  
** **  
** **–**

The hug was faint. But he could still feel it. He didn’t know how to respond, but he–

He left his arms in the goo, laid his forehead down against the edge of the cooler, and tried very hard not to cry.

His double was alive.

–

**For as long as his twin kept his arms inside of what made up his body, it would hold onto him. He couldn’t hear him or even really feel him, but he knew he was there. He knew there were arms holding him together. He clung to them, using them to anchor what little consciousness he had managed to piece together now that his soul was pushed into a pile.** **  
** **  
** **It was a pile he could work with. He was exhausted and didn’t know how the fuck he was still even existing but he clung to that small idea and refused to let go.** **  
** **  
** **There were things happening around him and that was all that mattered. He refused to let go.** **  
** **  
** **–**

Gaster didn’t leave.

He couldn’t. Not when he knew his twin was holding onto him.

More hours passed, and he didn’t leave the room. He didn’t deactivate his magic. He didn’t let go.

He wouldn’t until he knew for sure his double would be okay if he did.

–

**Both the boys had sort of resigned themselves that their father wasn’t doing anything, at least until mid-afternoon. They had just sort of meandered around the house trying to busy themselves while waiting for their father to maybe, somehow, pull himself together.** **  
** **  
** **Sans was the next to check on them.** **  
** **  
** **He cracked the door open and looked surprised at the position his dad’s double was in. Inside the cooler Gaster was still clinging to his twin’s arms, steadily trying to glue his consciousness back together as the hours passed.** **  
** **  
** **–**

Gaster jolted as the door opened, but didn’t look up. If Sans looked closely, the faint tinge of magic was still visible. He’d been at it for hours, trying to keep a steady, safe pressure on the shards of his twin’s soul, and it was certainly beginning to take its toll, even if the actual amount of magic spent was miniscule. He kept his focus. It was always easier to have only one thing to focus on. Or maybe it wasn’t? Not always. But that’s what he’d learned.

Just focus on the one thing. Slip the note into the machine at the exact right instant. It’ll all be okay and nothing will hurt as long as he could just keep focused.

–

**Sans hovered in the doorway for a moment and fought with himself over whether or not to ask what was going on. But… he trusted the other Gaster. Maybe he was helping him in ways they couldn’t. As the sound of Papyrus’ footsteps drew near he looked back and gently closed the door to give them peace.** **  
** **  
** **“ANYTHING?”** **  
** **  
** **“nah. they’re just… resting.”** **  
** **  
** **There was silence.** **  
** **  
** **“… OKAY.”** **  
** **  
** **Their footsteps went back down the hall.** **  
** **  
** **–**

… “Do you remember your kids?”

He didn’t expect a reply. He didn’t know if anyone was listening. But it had long gone quiet except the sounds of the house and the rush of his own magic. That was too quiet.

“Sans and Papyrus. They love you a lot. They’re worried about you.”

“If you don’t reform soon, Papyrus is probably going to cry again. I know he wants to hug you, right now. He’ll be okay. But he misses you.”

“Sans misses you, too. You used to make puns with him over the table. You got my Sans into the habit when you stayed with us for two weeks. I think our Papyruses bonded over the pain.”

“When you come back, you should come with me when I meet my kids again.”

“I missed them a lot. I’m sure they’ll want to talk to you. About how you got me out.”

“…We have a lot to catch up on.”

“…I’m glad we had some time, in the void. Even if it wasn’t enough.”

“I was glad for it.”

–

**At first the other’s voice was nothing, but as time drew on it became a tiny vibration, then a murmur, then whispers. At first it was just noises, but then it became words. Words he understood.** **  
** **  
** **The void climbed his arms ever so slightly and a small mound pushed at the surface. It was without a face or any color, little more than a lump growing from the blackness. It shook and leaned from side to side.** **  
** **  
** **His… kids… They… needed… him?** **  
** **  
** **P…a…p..y…r…u.s….** **  
** **  
** **Ssss…a….n…ss…** **  
** **  
** **He tried to pull his thoughts together, to make them something coherent. He was trying so, so hard.** **  
** **  
** **–**

Gaster realized the difference immediately, and nervousness wracked through his body.

“…they miss you. But they’re okay. No one’s hurt. A few bumps, but it was all healed fine.”

“They just want you to get better as best you can. I can. I can try to call them in. Maybe you can feel them, too?”

–

**The mound leaned heavily to one side before losing all form and falling back into the cooler.** **  
** **  
** **Shit.** **  
** **  
** **… Wait a minute.** **  
** **  
** **Shit. Shit!** **  
** **  
** **His consciousness came crashing back. He was pissed. He was annoyed. He was IN A FUCKING COOLER WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS.** **  
** **  
** **–**

He jerked his hands out of the enraged goop as if they were burned, but he was laughing.

“You!! Piece of shit!” he shouted, laughing louder. He could probably be heard in the rest of the house, if Sans and Papyrus were still even around.

–  
  
 **Hah.** **  
** **  
** **Gaster couldn’t form anything yet, but his consciousness was there, which is what mattered most. The sound of feet running down the hall drew closer, Papyrus flinging the door open with Sans not far behind.** **  
** **  
** **“WHAT’S GOING ON?” He asked in a panic.** **  
** **  
** **–**

“He’s there!” Gaster said, laughing, flopping backwards on the floor and letting his form go runny after spending so much time conscious and using magic. He was exhausted and hardly had it in him to keep his form together. “The bastard’s there again!!”

–

**The fatigue and fear melted away from their faces. Papyrus darted into the room, skidding to a halt beside the cooler. “DAD ARE YOU REALLY THERE?”** **  
** **  
** **The slime made a very weak ripple. It was still very hard to concentrate on moving it and keep himself conscious at the same time. Papyrus grinned even wider and started to cry happily, his head resting on the edge of the container.** **  
** **  
** **Sans lingered in the doorway, looking shocked. Happy, but shocked.** **  
** **  
** **–**

Gaster managed for one last moment to pull himself up again, flopping halfway on the container and sticking his hand in once more, not as deep as before, but still enough.

“Don’t fucking strain yourself, asshole. Just focus on getting better so we can kick your ass once you do, okay?”

–

**Wow, rude.** **  
** **  
** **He was exhausted but felt like the last thing he wanted to do was ‘shut off’. He had been shut off for… he didn’t know. The last thing he remembered was scrambling into the time machine and then pain, then darkness up until now. Darkness and blurs of noises.** **  
** **  
** **He would ask later. He would also ask about what the hell his double had gone through. It clearly hadn’t been the void he knew of.** **  
** **  
** **… Why was he thinking about this shit. He needed to build a body again to GET OUT OF THIS FUCKING COOLER.** **  
** **  
** **–**

He couldn’t understand his double, not really, but souls were essentially hubs of emotion, so he could feel that radiating off nice and clear.

He pulled his hand out before it started melting in his twin’s goop. That would just be weird. He sent a tired glance at Papyrus and Sans, his form shuddering to hold together as he did. “Let him know you’re here. I’ll try to do more when I wake up… “

He didn’t even bother trying to move away from the cooler before he curled up and passed out.

–

**“OKAY.” Papyrus said, tears in his eye sockets. “THANK YOU.”** **  
** **  
** **The two knelt beside the cooler, Papyrus being the first to hesitantly dip his phalanges into the black slime. It was deathly cold, but he didn’t seem to mind. Gaster hugged his fingers as best he could, then did the same with Sans as he put his hand in.** **  
** **  
** **It was cold. But it was warm too. Warm knowing that their dad was alive.** **  
** **  
** **Without even meaning to the brothers found themselves finally getting some sleep too. Some decent sleep. Sans curled up on the other side of the cooler while Papyrus slept with his head resting along the rim, one hand ‘holding’ onto his dad.**

**–**

It was hours later–a whole day later?–when Gaster finally woke.

It took him a long while to realize why he was waking up in the first place. That what he’d just experienced was sleep. To remember why everything was so… easy to process.

Longer, to reform his body.

He glanced at the cooler, hopeful, and hoped again that Sans and Papyrus’ friends hadn’t decided to stop around to check in and weren’t going to get any unpleasant surprises by there being two Gasters, and one of them a puddle.

–

**Sans and Papyrus had a good nap around their dad, but had eventually woken up in the middle of the night and decided to use their** **actual** **beds. The following morning had been cheerful. Papyrus made a nice, healthy breakfast and a fresh pot of coffee, then went on his regular morning jog after saying good morning to his dad.** **  
** **  
** **Sans had done much the same, only his breakfast was anything but healthy and there was no morning jog to speak of.** **  
** **  
** **Downstairs the loud noises of a one-sided telephone conversation could be heard. Papyrus was talking to someone who he was good friends with apparently, telling them all about what had happened but how now their dad was back and okay.** **  
** **  
** **The cooler beside Gaster had a  small mound sticking out of it. It was a sloped pair of what could perhaps be called shoulders and a white, melting face.** **  
** **  
** **It stared down at him before the v-shaped mouth turned upwards with what looked like some effort into a dumb smile. He couldn’t manage words or the shapes to sign, but he was thinking, ‘hah. you’re a goop now too.’** **  
** **  
** **–**

He could hear Papyrus’ conversation from all the way in the back room, and hoped those friends (whoever they were) would be polite enough to… not come.

Still, he grinned back down at the tiny smiling lump he found in the cooler, saying, “Glad to see you too, moron. Need anymore help, there?”

–

**Gaster shook his head slowly. His soul was… well, not great, but it would do. He wasn’t sure if he could ever manage to get it back in too great a shape. But he was alive. He was conscious. That’s what mattered.** **  
** **  
** **He wanted to talk and ask his double about everything, but he couldn’t. There had been no sleep or rest for him, he was too scared to relax enough for fear of slipping away again. Rest could happen when he was mostly back to normal.** **  
** **  
** **For now he clung to consciousness as hard as he could.** **  
** **  
** **–**

Gaster smiled a bit at the response. That was good. If his double felt things weren’t about to break apart at the seams, that was good.

Still. There had to be another way to help out. Smooth the process just a bit. Back home, he was about as close to an expert on souls as he could get, but that was there and this was here. And he had to adapt to fit to their rules.   
  
“I’m going to check on your kids and see if there’s anything else I can do. You hold on.”

–

**Gaster nodded.** **  
** **  
** **Down the hall in the living room Papyrus was walking around while talking to someone named ‘Undyne’ on his cellphone. Sans was sat on the couch watching TV. He smiled as he spotted the second goop coming down the hall.** **  
** **  
** **“dad doin’ okay?”** **  
** **  
** **Papyrus stopped in his tracks. “OH HOLD ON UNDYNE, THE OTHER DAD IS AWAKE.” He put his hand over the receiver and looked at his father’s double, eagerly waiting his answer.**

**–**

Gaster nodded quickly, putting his hands up in reassurance. He’s fine. He was making faces at me and everything.

He glanced between them both, unsure of who to direct the question to. _Do either of you know someone in this universe who understands a lot about souls? Otherwise, I may ask the Queen, but… I was hoping they might know something to help make things easier._

–

**Both boys grinned, then looked at one another. Papyrus didn’t know much, so he politely excused himself to continue his phone call. “HE’S DOING GOOD! MAKING FACES, APPARENTLY. … YEAH PROBABLY SCARY ONES.”** **  
** **  
** **“honestly? yeah. probably tori. she’s the only one i can think of.” Sans shrugged, then looked a little uncomfortable. “she won’t like helping him out, but… yeah. she’s your best bet. not even dad knows that much about souls. he mostly focused on the determination inside them.”** **  
** **  
** **–**

_Your father and I are going to have a long talk about missing the forest for the trees, then_ , Gaster said, already feeling better about the prospect of arguing with his double. Then, he hesitated. … _She won’t harm him, right?_

–

**Sans smirked at that, but it fell a little at mention of Toriel harming Gaster. “… no. not how he is now. i don’t think she’d hurt anyone unless frisk was involved.”**

**–**

… Gaster nodded. _All right. Could you ask her for help?_

–

**Sans nodded and pulled out his phone, scrolling through his contacts. “you want her to come over?”** **  
** **  
** **–**

Gaster nodded. _That might be simplest._

–

**Sans nodded for a second time and dialed Toriel.** **  
** **  
** **“mornin’ tori. yeah i’m fine. feelin’ pretty good. dad’s doin’ good now too. well. y’know. ‘good’.” He paused while listening to her talk, rubbing at his skull; a habit he had picked up from his father.** **  
** **  
** **“actually i was wondering if you could come over. yeah. the other g has questions about souls. healing ‘n stuff.”** **  
** **  
** **“… yeah. yeah it’d really help out. i know. i appreciate it more than you know. yep. yeah of course. ok. see ya soon.”** **  
** **  
** **He hung up and turned to Gaster. “she’ll be over in about 20 minutes or so.”** **  
** **  
** **–**

Gaster nodded once again. _Thank you. I’m sure it will be helpful. And if not, it won’t hurt to try and consider the avenue, at least._

–

**“yeah. so is that what you were doin’ in there the other day?” Sans asked, “you looked pretty intense so… i left ya alone. but i’m curious.”** **  
** **  
** **–**

Gaster shuffled a bit, looking slightly embarrassed. _…I might have just… shoved his soul back together? And held it there until it stayed?_

–

**Sans blinked, then turned back to face the TV and chuckled. “well okay then. good job. guess it worked.”** **  
** **  
** **“thanks.”** **  
** **  
** **–**

“I mean, in retrospect, there’s a lot of reasons it could’ve worked that I should’ve thought of sooner, but–” Gaster said, switching to words as Sans turned away before the last part struck him.

“…No. I’m glad I could help.”

–

**Sans’ smile tugged a little higher. “well i hope tori can help out the last stretch. i’m sure dad hates bein’ in that cooler.”** **  
** **  
** **He really fucking did hate being in this cooler.** **  
** **  
** **–**

Gaster found himself smiling back. “Does he end up in there often?”

–

**Sans laughed, “first time, actually. but every time we have a rough landing in the machine his harness goes right through him. he refuses to ‘be kept in a fucking soup can’.”** **  
** **  
** **–**

Gaster shook his head. “Please shove him in a soup can. For me. Just once.”

–

**“i’ll give it an honest attempt if you can find one big enough to contain his big fat head.” Sans smirked.** **  
** **  
** **–**

Gaster grinned. _I’ll do my best, but that’s going to be a challenge, even for me._

He paused and thought.

_Maybe I can invent one. It probably doesn’t exist yet._

He nodded, as if agreeing with his own thought.

_I’m going to go draw up diagrams for that. Please let me know when the Queen arrives and don’t let her kill me. I like being alive again._

–

**Sans chuckled at the thought of intentionally inventing a giant soup can for the** **soul** **purpose of shoving his dad into it. He knew how much he hated the idea of being shoved into something just because of his… consistency.**

**“you’ll be fine. it’s dad i’m worried about.” He said, his smile wavering a little. “like pap said, not… many people get along with him. maybe i should call alphys. she’s about the only one outside of the family that he enjoys being around.”**

**–**

Gaster looked over his shoulder, a little curiously. He knew his double could be hard to get along with, but… nearly everyone having that similar a reaction to him? It sounded like there was something a bit more complicated than incompatibility going on.

He wasn’t going to be the fucking shrink to everyone in this world to fix those relationships. No way. But if anyone tried to talk shit about Goop, he’d be perfectly happy putting them down.

If you think that’s a good idea, then do it. I’ll do my best to make sure no one tries anything, then?

Probably having a witness would dissuade most people, at least. Either way. He had to at least prepare a bit, in this case, if things were as bad as they sounded.’

–

**Sans nodded and left it at that. Maybe his dad could explain it once he got his hands back.** **  
** **  
** **The goop sat in his cooler, having spent the time grabbing his tablet with a noodly appendage off the desk behind him and set it beside him. Until he could manage some fingers or something the best way to communicate would be typing on the screen, he figured.** **  
** **  
** **–**

Gaster returned to the room and was both surprised and relieved to find the tablet had moved.

“Been busy?” He said. It seemed better to speak aloud until he was more certain the other Gaster could actually see him to read signs.

He headed over and found some clean paper and pens, taking them to the floor beside the cooler and sitting down with them.

–

**Gaster nodded slowly at him, turning to watch what his double was doing. He couldn’t see very well, but shapes and movement was good enough for now. Getting his sight back fully wasn’t high on his list of priorities. Hands were first.** **  
** **  
** **A vine-like piece of void reached up and typed out** **‘how are boys’.** **  
** **  
** **–**

Gaster read it, grinning. “They’re fine. Doing a lot better, now that they know you’re okay. Papyrus is talking to… Undyne on the phone. Sans is out in the kitchen.”

–

**He nodded once more. It was nice to know they were doing alright. Gaster felt bad for making them so upset, but he could barely remember what had happened. Which raised the question…** **‘what happened’.** **He typed, then added,** **‘got in machine then all blank’.** **  
** **  
** **–**

He sucked in a deep breath, grin fading. _…That thing got you. It attacked your Soul, but you still activated the machine and got us out safely._

He wanted to emphasize that point. Because what had happened hadn’t been a failure on his double’s part. If anything, it’d been a fucking victory they all survived. _The ship landed badly and rolled. Sans got a concussion and you lost all form. We took Sans to The Queen  to heal and Papyrus took you home. It’s been about two days since then. They’re both fine, now. You’re the last one injured._

–

**Gaster nodded, as long as the boys were alright then everything was okay. He looked at his double for a moment and typed,** **‘you were very loud there. might have tipped it off. but its ok. everyone ok.’** **  
** **  
** **He managed a tired smile,** **‘youre goop now. hah’.** **  
** **  
** **–**

Gaster restrained his initial reaction to flick the goo. His double didn’t need that.

But it gave him a moment to think through a response, and a grin spread over his face.

“That’s true. We may need new nicknames, now that I’m also goop. I can still use ‘Kidster,’ but maybe you need something new…. Dumpster.”

He rapped his knuckles against the cooler.

–

**Gaster’s melty face looked distraught and he shook his head before typing** **‘terrible no’.** **  
** **  
** **–**

“You’ll get used to it, Dumpster,” he said, still grinning.

He wondered how long it had been since Sans called Toriel. “…I should. Um. Probably tell you another thing before you get a nasty surprise.”

–

**He cocked his head a little to the side curiously.** **  
** **  
** **–**

“…Toriel’s coming over to help me figure out soul healing.”

–

**Gaster looked annoyed, or as annoyed as he could with a barely functioning face.** **  
** **  
** **‘she wont want to help me. why’** **  
** **  
** **–**

“Are you saying you’ve never done something you didn’t want to do before?” Gaster asked. “She’s coming because Sans asked, and she knows you’re important to him.  It sounds like I studied souls more extensively than you did, but it isn’t my universe and I need someone knowledgeable about both souls and healing to help me double check myself. The Queen fits the bill.”

He looked a little abashed, just in case. “…Your soul’s pretty fucked up. I want to help it along as best I can, and maybe the damage will heal some, or at least not leave permanent marks. “

–

**He would have grumbled but lacked any way of doing so.**

**‘fine’** **He typed, sinking a little back into himself. Gaster didn’t want to expose his soul to Toriel. The only ones who had ever seen it were his sons and his double. Toriel and him didn’t get along. Showing his soul was private and personal and he didn’t trust her as much as she didn’t trust him.** **  
** **  
** **After a moment he changed the subject,** **‘went to see you. saw your sans. told me what happened’.** **Gaster wasn’t sure if his double knew that, but… probably. He had been infinite everything, right? Had he seen that?** **  
** **  
** **… Had he seen every dumb, embarrassing thing he had ever done since the accident? Shit.**

**–**

Gaster had no plans to let anyone even potentially dangerous touch or see his double’s soul, unless it turned out it was necessary.

But he also wasn’t about to let himself do something stupid to his double because he didn’t want to ask for help.

At the change of subject, he smiled a bit again, even if it was a bit strained. “Yeah, I think I remember… that….”

His smile dropped and his eyes widened. “…I think I remember that?”

Oh no. Oh no. He’d been asking questions instead of just knowing.

Fuck.

–

**Gaster suddenly looked worried;** **‘ok?’** **  
** **  
** **–**

“…I’m forgetting things,” he said, rubbing at the crack around his skull. “…I… I knew things, there. Important things, but I don’t… they’re not all there anymore.”

–

**He gestured down to the pen and paper he had brought over with him before sitting by his side.** **‘write’** **  
** **  
** **Forgetting every infinite thing wasn’t… that bad. Infinite was a pretty big deal. But the important stuff you learned while being that way mattered. If he could get it all down before it slipped away, maybe things wouldn’t be so bad.** **  
** **  
** **‘before accident most important. boys most important’** **He typed, hoping that those memories while he was ‘alive’ weren’t slipping away too.** **  
** **  
** **–**

Gaster nodded and abandoned the conversation, bending over the papers and beginning to frantically write.

Really, when you turned your head and squinted at it, they didn’t look all that different from the half-mad ramblings pinned up around Gaster’s room.

–

**Gaster fell silent. He knew what it was like getting into a frenzy and hurriedly jotting something down before you forgot, or the idea slipped away. While his twin frantically scribbled he went back to concentrating on himself. Maybe he could manage a pair of hands today.** **  
** **  
** **–**

Gaster kept writing. Half-remembered names, codes, patterns, histories–the things he’d wondered for so long during his first life. And a little more, sometimes.

He would keep writing until he was interrupted.


	16. Just Like Me pt 4

**He would be left to his own devices for at least 15 minutes before there was a gentle knock on the door. Sans opened it and poked his head through. “hey. tori’s here. you guys ready?”** **  
** **  
** **Gaster visibly sunk a little more into himself and looked at his double.** **  
** **  
** **–**

Gaster didn’t appear to hear. He jolted a bit at the sound, but ignored it.

Don’t lose focus.

–

**Gaster gestured as well as he could for his son to come close, which he did. He typed** **‘stall’** **and his brother made a face, then looked down at the double furiously scribbling notes.** **  
** **  
** **“uh, ok. but i can’t forever.”** **  
** **  
** **He stood and turned to leave the room again.** **  
** **  
** **–**

It was a little longer before Gaster finally began to lose steam, his handwriting slowing and his writing becoming more garble and image than actual words.

“…I don’t… know if I remember anymore…”

–

**Gaster hung a little over the side to look at the notes, but it was all just a blurry mess.** **‘thats ok. new stuff icing on the cake. old stuff. memories of life. make sure you have those.’** **  
** **  
** **–**

Gaster nodded again, more slowly. “…right. I remember those, yeah… “

He glanced over at his double. “You doing okay?”

–

**Gaster looked at him and his expression fell a little.** **‘tired’** **  
** **  
** **He was terrified to rest, thinking if he did he would fall to pieces again. Rest could happen once he was aware enough things wouldn’t fall apart.** **  
** **  
** **–**

“…hopefully the healing can help with that,” he said, also too scared to imagine what might happen if his double rested before he was more… together.

He looked at the time. “She should be here by now..?”

–

**Gaster smirked at how his double had missed his son coming in entirely.** **‘shes here. sans stalling for you. got into THE MODE’** **  
** **  
** **–**

Gaster blinked. Turned. And stared at his double.

“GODDAMNIT, GOOP.”

He got up and hurried out, hoping he wasn’t in the doghouse.

–

**Gaster grinned stupidly.** **  
** **  
** **In the living room Sans and Toriel were chatting away, Sans easily able to enamor the former queen with jokes and smalltalk. Upon seeing the other goopster he smiled a bit more and sighed. “okay. guess it’s time to go have a look. you need anything just yell.”** **  
** **  
** **Toriel nodded and stepped around Sans, smiling at the other Gaster. “Hello again. I am no expert on souls, but… I am very capable of healing magic. I just hope it will be enough.”** **  
** **  
** **–**

Gaster nodded, nervous once again. “Ah. I’m sure it will be fine, as long as you can tell me where there may be differences between our understandings of souls.”

Did no one in this universe study souls? Okay. Okay, well, he’d just have to hope he and his twin were similar enough on the most basic level that things would be okay.

He led the Queen to his double’s room, not at all minding the mess and almost not even thinking of how it might look to others. His mass of paper was still beside the cooler. He got a new stack and pen, sitting down beside his double.

“Still with me?”

–

**Toriel hovered in the doorway for but a moment before making her way inside. Upon seeing the cooler filled with slime and a… head, she gasped. A hand went to her muzzle and she looked torn between being sad and frightened.** **  
** **  
** **“Oh my goodness.” She breathed, closing the door behind her before walking over and kneeling in front of the cooler. “I knew Sans said you were hurt, but…”** **  
** **  
** **Gaster looked at his double and shied away from Toriel a little.**

**–**

“He’s doing better than he was,” Gaster said, and glancing over at his double when he shied away. “Hey. Heeeey. If I have to face my anxiety right now, you have to, too.”

He put his right hand into the cooler and gave a squeeze on what he thought might be his twin’s hand. He could still write and draw just fine with his left.

“We think he’s… at least getting to be stable right now. But anything to make it easier going would be appreciated. I know a fair amount of Soul Composition and makeup, but I am not a healer.”

–

**A part of him wanted to just be a bucket of goo again, but he was scared how hard it would be to form a face for a second time, so he didn’t. The part of him around his double’s hand squeezed.** **  
** **  
** **Toriel inhaled deeply and rubbed along the top of her snout before holding up her hands over the cooler. Fire flickered along her fingertips, but she didn’t touch him. She didn’t need to.** **  
** **  
** **“Never in all my years have I seen a soul in such a state.” She said, looking between the two of them. “I do not know how you are even still alive.”** **  
** **  
** **Gaster wasn’t looking at her. After a moment he typed** **‘my boys’.** **  
** **  
** **That was all he could think of. When everything had been black and nothing there were only two vague thoughts that kept him from falling to pieces. Desperation and his sons.** **  
** **  
** **Toriel managed a smile, “That is… very admirable. Despite our… disagreements, you do appear to be a very loving father.”** **  
** **  
** **Ugh. He wanted to melt.** **  
** **  
** **–**

Gaster choked.

It may have also been a snort.

“Woah. Woah, woah. Was that in doubt?” He said, staring at Toriel with wide eyes. “What the fuck?”

He looked back down at his double. “How much of a bad impression have you been making for people to miss that part!?”

–

**Uuuggghh he wanted to melt.** **  
** **  
** **Toriel frowned, “He tried to kill my child.”** **  
** **  
** **At that Gaster spun around to face her, looking angry. The woman was so blinded by her love and overprotectiveness of the little brat that she failed to come to terms that someone could have a knee-jerk reaction to seeing a human that they had been fighting in desperation for what felt like hundreds of years.** **  
** **  
** **He wanted to type that, he wanted to scream at her. This was why they didn’t get along. The woman was blinded by her love of humans and he** **hated it** **. It was her way or the highway, everything else be damned.** **  
** **  
** **Anger… anger was… making him tired. No he needed to stop. The grip on his double’s hand weakened and he turned away from Toriel again.** **  
** **  
** **–**

It hurt to hold onto his double while waves of anger moved through him. It hurt. He squeezed tighter, even as his double turned away.

“Okay,” he said, looking at Toriel. “I told myself I wasn’t going to be That Person in this universe, but clearly you all need an intervention, and I’m a fucking idiot. So. First plan is to stop Goop from getting any worse. Do you have healing magic that just helps give energy and revitalizes?”

–

**Toriel inhaled deeply and closed her eyes, trying to let the past behind her… for now. They could bicker all they wanted when he was better. This was for Sans.** **  
** **  
** **“I do, but it is comparatively weak to my healing magic. It is not often practiced.” The glow around her hands fluctuated, feeling for Gaster’s soul in the muck. She made a face. It was in pieces, the glue between the cracks making it feel like she was grasping at tiny pieces all at once. She tried to hold each one and give them all an equal amount of energy.** **  
** **  
** **–**

“Weak is fine. As long as it is something,” he said, and watched the magic flow through.

…when it looked like she was having a hard time holding onto each piece (was that normal? Or was it a Gaster thing to just ignore that?) he reached out with his own magic once again, taking each piece and holding them close together so Toriel could find them all more easily. Could reach them all. And if his twin panicked or objected, at least his presence might be a little comforting, right?

–

**Toriel would give as much as she could, sitting and closing her eyes holding onto the pieces of Gaster’s soul and feeding it energy with the other’s help. The goo stayed turned away, but his double’s presence did help. It was nice to have him here. He… he really hated having someone else mess with his soul. He knew he needed it and in the long run it was for everyone’s benefit, but… man did it make him uncomfortable.** **  
** **  
** **After awhile Toriel spoke, “How much energy do you wish for me to give? If you need more of my magic, I will need to spare.” A single red eye opened to look at Gaster’s double.** **  
** **  
** **–**

Gaster looked down at his twin. “I need to know how you’re feeling. Squeeze once for more, twice if you’re fine.”

He didn’t want his double wasting energy with the tablet screen at the moment. Not when there were easier and quicker ways to do it.

–

**Gaster squeezed twice. It had made him feel better, almost as though he had caught a quick nap.** **  
** **  
** **–**

“He says he’s fine for now. You can stop,” he said, looking back at the Queen.

–

**Toriel nodded and did just that, the light around her clawed hands dimming before vanishing completely. “Is there anything else you wish of me?”** **  
** **  
** **–**

Gaster glanced at his twin, then back to the Queen. “If I could talk to you some on our own and ask about Souls here, that would be extremely helpful. But please, if you need to rest, do that. I’ll make sure Sans or Papyrus come in to watch over him.”

He said that last part for his twin’s benefit. But also. As a reminder. To the Queen.

–

**Toriel nodded and stood. “Of course.” She was tired but would be fine.** **  
** **  
** **Sans and Papyrus were still in the living room, both sat and only half-watching TV. For them this was like waiting outside the doctor’s office, eager for news on whether or not a family member was going to be alright.** **  
** **  
** **–**

Gaster nodded and gave his twin another squeeze before getting up as well. He gestured for the Queen to follow him, not about to let her alone in the same room as his double, even if they were all being civil at the moment. He headed out and tapped on the wall a bit to get the boy’s attention.

 _He’s awake and moving more. Feeling a bit better; go see him. He’s typing things on the tablet if you want to talk_.

He realized a moment after he said it that the boys hadn’t had any communication with their very injured father for the last few days.

…it was a good thing his twin had thought about the tablet.

–

**The two smiled and eagerly got up, thanking both Gaster and the queen as they passed. Toriel waited until they had both gone inside to talk with their father to sit on the couch and look at the double expectantly.** **  
** **  
** **–**

Gaster stalled. Just a moment. Just long enough to gather his thoughts. There were a few cans of sea tea in the kitchen area. He grabbed two, and fidgeted, and offered one to the Queen before he sat down across from her.

“…you frighten me.”

–

**Toriel thanked him before looking surprised. “Why is that?”** **  
** **  
** **–**

“In my world,” he said, picking his words slowly, staring down at his own tea rather than risking losing his nerve by looking at Toriel. “I spent my life terrified that in the middle of the night, one of the Boss Monsters would finally get tired of humoring my existence, break into my house, and kill me.”

–

**The boss monster looked shocked, even leaning back at little at the words. Eventually she couldn’t help herself and let out a laugh, “I…” She laughed again but stopped herself. “Goodness. Why on earth would they ever do that?”** **  
** **  
** **–**

“It’s a long story,” Gaster said. “The ‘why’ isn’t very important. But the basics of it was  I was a skeleton. The last one in my underground. And other monsters were a large part of that. So when I first came with Sans to get him healed, I was ready to do about anything to stop you from killing me if you decided to, since you already had a feud with your own Gaster. If you’d attacked me, I would’ve fought back. You didn’t, so I just tried to keep you calm and happy with me. It’s generally how I got by, in my world. Just. Smile, and nod, and hope you don’t piss people off enough they tell some of the older monsters.”

He tapped the scar under his eye, smiling faintly, despite himself.

–

**Toriel looked shocked to be hearing all of this. Not only was it unprompted, but it all sounded so…** **alien** **. What a world to be living in.** **  
** **  
** **“I… that is a very strange world you come from, my friend.” She eventually said, taking a moment to look down at her tea. She hadn’t touched it yet. “You have nothing to fear from me. I will not harm another unless it is to protect someone I love.”** **  
** **  
** **“The doctor and I have…  disagreements, but I would not harm him either. He is the father of a good friend. I just…” The queen trailed off and frowned, “I cannot trust him.”** **  
** **  
** **She finally took a drink.** **  
** **  
** **–**

Gaster nodded. “I understand. But. You understand if I say that no matter what, after what I’ve been through, it’s very hard to shake off that deep-set terror, right?”

He would get to the commentary about his double. But he had to try to get her to follow his words, first.

…He’d spent too long fighting with words instead of bones.

When his twin got better, they should spar again. It was much more fun. Even if they were both puddles at the end.

–

**Toriel thought for a moment as she drank, then eventually nodded. “Yes. I understand.”** **  
** **  
** **–**

Gaster smiled. “Thank you.”

He paused to try and take a drink of his own tea out of habit, but ended up just miming the gesture, realizing now might not be the time for testing his new form’s eating abilities.

“…Your Gaster’s had much the same experience with humans as I did with older and Boss Monsters. Except he was given no choice but to fight.”

–

**The queen sighed. She knew this was where the conversation was going. “Y-.. yes. Sans has… mentioned it.”** **  
** **  
** **She sounded very conflicted. Toriel understood, to a point, what Gaster had gone through, but…** **he had attacked her child** **. After that the trust was gone and would probably never come back.** **  
** **  
** **–**

“I’m not asking you to forgive him for whatever happened,” Gaster said. “I don’t know about any of it except what I’ve seen since coming here. But it doesn’t mean he’s all bad. It just means it’s one of those universal constants that Gasters are all apparently terrified, nervous wrecks underneath a thin veneer of assholery. And for some reason, it fools almost everyone. But… yeah. I’m not asking you to forgive him for anything. I’m just asking that you consider something else: he loves his sons enough to live up here alongside humans with them, and he loves his sons enough to trust them when they told him your Chara wasn’t dangerous. If you know about terror… then… you know that’s a lot. All I ask is you consider it.”

–

**Toriel winced at the word ‘Chara’. Once Gaster was finished speaking she quickly corrected him. “Frisk. The child’s name is Frisk. They are not Chara.”** **  
** **  
** **“Chara is… Chara has been gone a very long time.”**

**–**

He shrank down quickly, as though recoiling away on instinct. “I’m sorry. I should’ve. I didn’t think. No one mentioned the name. Sorry.”

–

**Toriel inhaled deeply and took another drink just to occupy her mouth. “It is alright. You couldn’t have known.” She then turned and gave him a smile. “Frisk freed us from the mountain and have been doing a wonderful job helping all of us integrate with human society.”** **  
** **  
** **Her smile then fell again. “They… do look similar in a lot of ways. But they are very different.”** **  
** **  
** **–**

Gaster relaxed a little, slowly, managing to come forward a little bit more until he was in his former position. “…can you tell me about them?”

–

**The monster smiled. There was nothing more a mother loved than to brag about her children.** **  
** **  
** **“They are very kind and loving. It had been many years since they fell into the underground and they have grown up to be just as wonderful as they were the day I met them. They are brave and nothing seems to get them down.”** **  
** **  
** **She then laughed a little, somewhat bitter. “They have even asked to speak to the doctor, but… he keeps his distance. I have been told that he does not trust himself. Frisk is determined to make friends, even if it has been years since he attacked them.”**

**–**

Gaster nodded along as she spoke. “Sounds like a determined kid.”

“…I’m sure they’ll succeed, if they really want to. Goop is a slow burn person.”

–

**Toriel couldn’t help but laugh, a hand covering her mouth. “‘Goop’?”** **  
** **  
** **–**

Gaster melted a bit in embarrassment. “….he’s a goop…..”

–

**She tried to keep from laughing even more. “I… mean no offense but… aren’t you as well?”** **  
** **  
** **–**

…he tried to reform a little more solidly. “This is a new development for me! I used to be… more… not like this. But I… I’m not really used to holding my̕se̛lf togeth͘ȩr ̷a͏ny͘m̵o̕ŗe..̷.”

He tried to stop from dipping back into the scattered voice he’d gotten from the void, but… it was hard, when he remembered all that had been ripped out of him when the machine crashed.

His form shuddered.

–

**“I apologize.” Toriel said, but was still smiling. She took another drink of her tea.**

**“I have been told that the doctor was the same way, once. He was a skeleton just like his sons. I… do not know the extent of what happened, but it seems as though you have both shared a similar fate.”** **  
** **  
** **There was a pause before she spoke again, “I know the doctor isn’t in a very good state right now, but… are you?”** **  
** **  
** **–**

He grinned.

“I’ve always held together well under pressure.”

(he was surprised he was doing this well.)

–

**The queen laughed at that, soon snorting and putting a hand over her nose once again.** **  
** **  
** **–**

“I can’t even express how pleased I am you caught that,” he said, still grinning.

–

**“Well, my relationship with Sans did begin with us telling jokes through the ruins door.” She said with a smile, “I have always had a love for jokes, puns, plays on words.”** **  
** **  
** **–**

“That’s good to know.” Whatever his twin had tried to do to her kid, it had clearly strained while might’ve been a really terrible friendship, considering his twin’s sense of humor. Instead, he said. “Keeps things light.”

–

**Toriel nodded in agreement, “Yes it does.”** **  
** **  
** **She sighed and took another drink of her tea, still smiling. “Is there anything else you wished to discuss about… souls? I do not mean to rush the conversation, but…” She let her words trail off, feeling like they should probably be discussing Gaster’s situation.** **  
** **  
** **Still, this had been rather nice.** **  
** **  
** **–**

Gaster nodded and set the undrunk tea aside, producing several sheets of paper and a pen.

“I just need to know if this information is accurate, to the best of your knowledge.”

He began to draw, his ability much more refined than his twin’s though a ruler would have been a great asset. If it turned out he could store things inside his body as well, he was going to stick a ruler in there, first thing.

He quickly drew a rough sketch of a soul, the outer shell and the inner workings, and began diagramming it. He labeled some aspects as entirely human, and others as belonging mostly to monsters.

Clearly, he had been doing some in-depth research on souls. Even human ones.

–

**Toriel watched him, but most of his notes went over her head from what she could see. “Does the doctor not know this?” She asked, looking surprised.** **  
** **  
** **–**

Gaster rolled his eyes. “He focused too much on determination to bother with the rest of the soul. No, apparently there are discrepancies between what we research and how we do things between different timelines. Supposedly. We’re the only two we know of, thus far.”

He sounded a little like he was exasperated with his double.

–

**“Oh. I see.” Toriel blinked, looking surprised. She shouldn’t have been though, this Gaster was already much more polite and… had gone through something similar, apparently, but something vastly different.** **  
** **  
** **Strange. She tried not to bother wrapping her head around it.** **  
** **  
** **–**

“…have they told you much about what they’re doing?” He asked, after seeing the expression on her face.

He’d assumed their friends would be kept in the loop, but… who knew?  
  
“…how long have they been gone, from your perspective, since last time they were here?”

–

**“Vaguely. Sans has explained the rough idea a few times. Hunting different times for an… ‘anomaly’?” Toriel said, apparently Sans being sure not to tell her that the anomaly was, in fact, her dead child Chara.** **  
** **  
** **“Perhaps a few weeks? They vanish up into the lab for awhile before coming back to stay for a few days, then go right back up again.”** **  
** **  
** **–**

Gaster paused, blinking up. A few weeks in the machine, then only staying home for a few days?

He recalled long ago, when his double and their sons had stayed at his apartment for two weeks, helping him care for his own young Sans and Papyrus. He knew it was a lot for them to stay for so long, keeping hidden and not searching for the anomaly, but… it seemed like even more, now, realizing how little time they got to spend at home. In their own dimension. With their own friends.

…maybe it wasn’t such a huge sacrifice to Gaster, if he truly had such bad relationships with so many monsters, here.

“I see…” he said, unsure of what else to say. What he could or shouldn’t tell her.

Gah. Had living always been this complicated?

–

**Toriel gave him a strange look, as though waiting for him to continue a conversation that had long died out. The silence bothered her a bit, so she filled it.** **  
** **  
** **“I do not see the doctor much, but Sans stops by and we have a few lovely conversations while he’s around. Papyrus loves to play with Frisk. I think he is also friends with the former royal guard captain.”** **  
** **  
** **–**

Gaster nodded. “That’s good to hear. …you all take good care of them, right?”

No matter what dimension, he wanted his kids to be taken care of.

–

**Toriel looked surprised, but smiled softly. “Of course. Sans… does not tell me much, but we are here for them.”** **  
** **  
** **–**

Gaster nodded. “…good… “

He… wanted to ask what, exactly, Sans had told them, but that would probably be pushing too much. Still. The question might’ve shown on his face.

–

**The boss monster looked at him, but it didn’t appear she really realized what he wanted to ask. A silence fell over them, her red eyes looking at him earnestly.** **  
** **  
** **–**

“…they’ve been through a lot. That’s all,” he said, hoping that would be enough to either prompt her or end the conversation quickly.

–

**Eventually Toriel nodded and finished her tea, setting the cup down on the coffee table. “… Yes. They have.” She inhaled, her head hanging before turning back to look at Gaster. “It took… a lot of convincing from all of us for Sans to start work on the machine he was working on to find his father. The barrier was broken and we were all free, but he was never very happy.”** **  
** **  
** **“He tried to be, but it was sometimes easy to see a little of the pain he was hiding. Since then he looks… a lot better.” She smiled, “I cannot speak for Papyrus or the doctor, but… Sans is happier. I can tell.”** **  
** **  
** **–**

He smiled up at her, grateful to hear that. “That’s good. I’m glad. I…only ever met them after it all happened. But I know Gaster wouldn’t trade anything for being with them.”

His smile wavered, just the slightest bit.

He missed his sons.

–

**She nodded and seemed to notice the conversation was straining a bit on him. She didn’t know what he was going through, but… perhaps this was her cue to leave them be.** **  
** **  
** **“I am sorry I was of not much help with the… ‘soul thing’.” Toriel gave him an apologetic look.** **  
** **  
** **–**

He shook his head. “It’s fine. This was all.. Hypothetical, for how to help. I’ll be able to know more as I look after him. It’ll be fine. Thank you for helping heal him. And… I’m sorry for how I started this conversation, as well. So thank you for enduring it.”

–

**Toriel chuckled as she stood. “It is quite alright. I will go say my goodbyes.”** **  
** **  
** **She walked down the hallway, her massive frame nearly filling it entirely. After cracking the door open and saying her goodbyes to the family, she headed back out and gathered up her purse, pausing once more to look at the other Gaster.** **  
** **  
** **“If you need anything, do not hesitate to call. I know Sans can be… averse to asking for help.”** **  
** **  
** **–**

Gaster nodded, giving another smile as gratefully as he could. “Thank you. I’ll try to convince him more often.”

–

**Toriel nodded and with that, was gone. Back in the room Sans and Papyrus had been talking to their father nearly nonstop about… anything at all. They told him in more detail of what happened and how trashed everything was. Currently Papyrus was leaned against the cooler while Sans was running down a list of things that would probably need doing.** **  
** **  
** **He hated working, but he knew his dad would want to have a project to focus on that wasn’t himself as a nice little distraction now and then.** **  
** **  
** **–**

As soon as Toriel left, Gaster returned to his double’s room. He came in as quietly as he could and did his best to avoid distracting the three already there, finding an empty spot beside the cooler and curling there in exhaustion.

Talking to people took a lot more out of him than he remembered.

Having coherent thoughts was hard.

–

**“how ya holdin’ up?” Sans asked the other as he entered. He had seen his goopy father long enough to know what it looked like to be exhausted.** **  
** **  
** **During their talk Gaster seemed to have formed what might be hands eventually; two white raised circles with holes in them.** **  
** **  
** **–**

_I’m not,_ he said, promptly melting.

It was good to see his double doing better, though. At some point, once he was better, they’d probably end up being opposites again. Just. With one having a form and him just being a puddle. He wondered how his twin kept so… not-viscous all the time.

–

**Sans watched the double melt. “rough.” He then turned to Papyrus, “lets get some lunch started, huh?”** **  
** **  
** **He figured the two might want more alone time.** **  
** **  
** **Papyrus nodded and stood, both of them walking out of their father’s room and closing the door behind them. Gaster then turned to his twin.** **‘ok?’** **  
** **  
** **–**

What was left of him with a form grinned at his double. _You’re signing again.  I’m glad._

He was feeling bad enough that he wasn’t really going to respond to the question about his own health.

–  
  
 **Gaster took notice and frowned a little, but wasn’t going to pry. They both felt pretty shitty. He remembered the first time he had materialized in the void and wondered if it was anything like what his double was experiencing right now.** **  
** **  
** **He settled into a sort of ‘sit’ despite being little more than a mound with a head and vague hand shapes sitting in front of him. Gaster wanted to talk. He wanted legs. He wanted to hug his twin.** **  
** **  
** **But he settled for ‘sitting’ and working more on defining his hands while the other tried to rest.** **  
** **  
** **–**

He took a while to gather himself. Not very literally, but…literally enough.

He wanted to rest, and lean againt his twin, and know what was going on again, but for now, all he could do was wait, and try to feel… not like this. He’d been good at managing his internal world, once upon a time. He’d learned how to do it over years and years of struggling against his own thoughts. This would be no different, he decided. Just another thing to adapt to.

Finally, he sorted himself out enough to figure out what was hurting him worst right then, and once he knew that, he could take steps to… do something about it.

_I miss my kids._

–

**Gaster’s goopy, melting face frowned sadly. After a moment he signed,** __**‘I know.’** **  
** **  
** **–**

_I don’t remember what was happening the last time I saw them,_ he admitted. _I forgot it before I wrote things down. …but they were okay when you last saw them, right?_

His double had always been with his sons from the moment he’d come out of the void. Gaster was glad his double was there, glad he was out, but… but he still wished, very much, that he could’ve been with his own kids immediately after coming out of the void. That he had a few days to relax and readjust, rather than being thrown directly into whatever this mess was.

**–**

**He paused before signing,** _**‘I don’t know.’** **  
** **  
** _ **_‘Sans found us. Your Sans. He seemed… okay? But we left before Papyrus could see us. He said Papyrus lost his memory._ ’** **Gaster then quickly signed again,** **‘ _Mine did too. Maybe it’s a constant.’_** **Hopefully that was reassurance enough that, in the end, everything would be okay for them too.**

__**‘We’ll get you home. Rest. I… feel better.’** **  
** **  
** **Maybe that would be enough for his double to worry about himself, even if just a little while.** **  
** **  
** **–**

Gaster nodded as best he could. _I’m. Okay, thank you. I’m sure they’re okay… I’m glad you’re feeling better. Don’t ever do that to be again, though, okay?_

He grinned a half-melted smile.

–

**Gaster returned the melted smile.** __**‘I’ll try.’** **  
** **  
** **–**

Gaster found somewhere to rest nearby the cooler, signed a _Wake me if you need anything,_ and fell asleep.

–

**Gaster nodded and let his twin rest. He was a little angry at himself for getting so hurt. He wanted to jump out of the cooler and run into the lab and start fixing everything to get his counterpart back to his kids. He knew how he felt.** **  
** **  
** **But… he couldn’t rush this. He had never been so badly hurt before. Despite feeling better he was still very tired. The doctor pushed himself every waking moment, making sure he kept his consciousness a whole and pulling a body around it.** **  
** **  
** **Sans and Papyrus would come in just to check on them both now and again but stayed quiet. Both of them knew how tired they must be.** **  
** **  
** **–**

Gaster woke a while later, once again disoriented, but able to figure out where he was much more quickly this time.

He pulled himself up enough to look at the cooler, and tried to see his twin’s state.

–

**By the time the other awoke, Gaster had managed to form a larger torso out of more void and a very unsteady pair of arms. His hands, lacking detail but still very much there, were holding onto the edge of the cooler.** **  
** **  
** **With no one to talk to he really had put all of his effort into getting a body.** **  
** **  
** **He wanted to get out of this fucking cooler.** **  
** **  
** **–**

Gaster was feeling far more energized–for a given value of energized–after his rest.

So he felt all right pulling himself together a bit quicker than normal, moving towards the cooler, and trying to give his twin a hand.

That body language spoke for itself.

He touched his twin’s shoulder lightly, first, making sure the other Gaster knew he was there.

Then, he wrapped his arms around his twin, and helped him up out of the cooler. He was still only half formed, sure, but… it looked like he could survive a while like this, and they wouldn’t have to worry much about him dissolving, yet.

And it was just really fucking nice to have his arms around his double again in something like an actual hug.

–

**Gaster turned his still rather melted face towards his double and, very eagerly despite how slow he was, wrapped his new arms around him. He couldn’t feel very much, he never could, but… it was still nice to hold something.** **Someone.**

**His fingers clenched at his twin as he raised him up, squeezing him tightly as he tried to pull the rest of the void with him. It was hard and took a lot of concentration to keep everything attached. He probably couldn’t stand yet, but he was upright. Upright was good.** **  
** **  
** **His weight hung from his counterpart’s arms as he squeezed tightly.** **  
** **  
** **He felt like a baby learning to stand for the first time again, but this time he couldn’t feel his legs and was just doing everything he could to keep his ‘legs’ attached.** **  
** **  
** **–**

Not letting the void have time to separate from his double, Gaster gave a grunt and pulled him out as much as he could, hauling the additional void and his double more onto the floor, where things weren’t as contained but he wouldn’t be straining to keep things attached while hanging onto him at least.

He didn’t let go yet.

  
–  
  
 **Gaster clung desperately to his twin. He could sense where the rest of the void was, pulling it along behind him before trying to gather it underneath himself and make some sort of base. It felt so… liquidy.** **  
** **  
** **He would have been gritting his teeth had any still been in his mouth, pulling and trying to make something as semi-solid as his upper half beneath him. Just… fucking pull it to… to…** **  
** **  
** **He felt something wrong in his soul and started to slip through his double’s arms.** **  
** **  
** **No. Nonononono.** **  
** **  
** **Gaster fought it all back, abruptly dropping the void he couldn’t make solid away from him just so he could concentrate primarily on his arms, head, and torso. Half of his weight dropped away into a puddle, fingers clutching at his counterpart.** **  
** **  
** **That had been terrifying.**


	17. Just Like Me pt 5

“Gaster?” He was–

“Gaster!!”

No no, nono, he wasn’t allowed to fucking melt in his arms, that was fucking not okay! He didn’t care how loud he got, he just held on, trying desperately to keep his twin in his arms and solid until something else happened.

“Fuck, oh fuck, I shouldn’t have taken you out, I’m so fucking sorry,” he said, gripping his twin tightly the moment he somewhat solidified. “I’m so fucking sorry, I’ll put you back–”

–

**Phew.** **  
** **  
** **PHEW.** **  
** **  
** **Gaster laughed nervously to himself even though it was all in his head, his twin could probably feel the slight bounce in his shoulders. Holy. Wow. Yeah that had been scary.** **  
** **  
** **He couldn’t sign back at first, only letting go with one hand once he was confident it would stay together.** **‘ _Let’s try sitting. Sitting is good.’_** **  
** **  
** **The closer he became to what he had ‘dropped’ on the floor he started to pull it towards himself. Maybe he could make enough of a base to sit. That would be good. Standing though? Standing… standing was scary right now.** **  
** **  
** **–**

Shaking slightly, Gaster nodded, shifting around and setting his double near the pile on the floor to do with what he wanted. He’d always intended to just pull his twin out to sit, but–but apparently, he hadn’t moved fast enough. Or. Or something. Fuck it. Fuck. Fuck.

–

**Gaster gathered what he had left behind and made himself a decent enough base to sit on, his arms still wrapped around his doppelganger.** **  
** **  
** **He was still laughing.** **  
** _**  
** **‘It’s okay. I’m still here.’** **  
** _ **  
** **–**

_It’s not funny,_ Gaster said, holding on all the tighter. _You scared the shit out of me._

Couldn’t relax even a second around this guy….

–

**Gaster kept on laughing silently,** _**‘I know. Sorry.’** **  
** _ **  
** **It was more nervous laughter than anything now and slowly died down to be replaced with shivering.** **  
** **  
** **That had been scary. He had felt his consciousness begin to slip.** **  
** **  
** **That had been… horrifying.** **  
** **  
** **–**

Gaster held on tighter. “I’m making them bring Toriel back. I’m not letting that happen again.” His voice was steel.

His twin was almost better. He’d almost looked better. That–to backslide so much, so suddenly.

He wasn’t losing him, not now.

“Do you know what caused it?”

–

**He gave it some thought.** **‘ _Suddenly tried to drag everything with me. I was too eager about getting out of the cooler.’_** _**  
** **  
** _ **Oops.**

**–**

Gaster sighed. “..it was my fault, too, then. I assumed you’d be all right for the short travel distance…. I’m sorry.”

–

_**‘It’s okay.’** _ **Gaster said again,** _**‘Remember what you told me? It didn’t happen so everything is okay. I’m awake. I’m here. We’re both goop.’** **  
** _ **  
** **And they had each other. He didn’t say that last part.** **  
** **  
** **When had he gotten so comfortable with hugging?** **  
** **  
** **–**

Gaster took a deep breath.

… “Right,” he said. “You’re right. And I’m still the prettier goop.”

(his double had always been a bit prettier, even though he was goop. Still. He could at least joke about it.)

He gave his twin another squeeze.

He hadn’t lost him.

–

**‘ _Asshole_.’ ** **Gaster signed, but it was nice to be able to joke again. He was still here.** **  
** **  
** **He leaned against his twin as they embraced. It was nice being able to rest into something, or someone. The lingering fear of losing himself was always with him and the other was a good anchor to hold onto.** **  
** **  
** **Gaster wished he could rest, but definitely not after that.** **  
** **  
** **–**

“Are you okay with me calling Toriel?”

Now that they knew the cause, it wasn’t as… terrifying. At least they knew how it had happened. What to not do again. But, but still.

“It might… help you recover. I won’t let go.”

–

**He frowned a little,** **‘ _That’s… up to you._ ’** **He wasn’t too keen on asking her for even more help. It had been terrifying, but he was okay now. He felt okay. As okay as he could have in such a state.** **  
** **  
** **The sound of footsteps came before the door cracked open. Papyrus looked worried. “DID WE HEAR YELL-” He instantly noticed his father. Out of the cooler. On the floor. Holding his double.** **  
** **  
** **Panic bubbled in his throat. “IS EVERYTHING OKAY?”** **  
** **  
** **–**

“…it is now,” Gaster said, too preoccupied holding his double to sign across the room. “He’s. We’re. It’s okay. But call Toriel. It’s fine. But just in case, to have another hand. If she can do it.”

–

**Papyrus quickly nodded and was gone like lightning. There was a quick conversation in the living room with Sans before he immediately called Toriel.**

**Gaster sat, holding onto his other, and did… nothing. He was too tired to do anything. It was still a chore to keep himself formed, but at least he wasn’t struggling to keep his consciousness intact.** **  
** **  
** **–**

Gaster just held on, trying to be patient while he waited for Toriel to arrive. It was difficult. But he could do it. He could.

He closed his eyes and sighed a bit, reaching out with his magic once more, just to brush against his twin’s soul and… maybe check in on it again. Just to make sure it wasn’t radically different from what it had been before. To make sure he was okay.

And not just saying it.

–

**Gaster’s soul was… doing better than it had been, that was for sure, but it was still a mess. It was glued and wrapped and squeezed together by the void many times over, each crack filled with just enough extra to keep it from falling to pieces.** **  
** **  
** **He had drilled holes into his soul before. He had been flung into the void and his soul had suffered a few horrible cracks. But it had never… shattered like this. A part of him wondered if he would ever be the same again.** **  
** **  
** **He tried not to think about it.** **  
** **  
** **–**

It would be okay. As long as he could survive, as long as he was alive, his soul could heal.

It would have to. At least become stable.

Gaster wouldn’t accept any other option. If he had to go back to his world and revisit his old research on souls, he would do it.

Things would be okay.

For now, he just held on, waiting.

–

**They wouldn’t have to wait long. With the urgency in Sans’ voice Toriel was over in a matter of minutes. The trio rushed down the hall, the boss monster opening the door and approaching them.** **  
** **  
** **“What happened?”** **  
** **  
** **–**

“He,” Gaster said, voice cracking. He tried to smooth it over. “…he fell in two when we tried to get him out of the cooler. It… he’s okay, sort of, but, we wanted… just in case…”

Apparently he’d spent all his eloquence yesterday.

–

**“Goodness.” Toriel sighed, sounding a little annoyed. She knelt down, hands alighting with flame and hovering over Gaster. He was too tired to shy away or move. “You need to be taking this slower. Need I remind you that your soul is shattered?”** **  
** **  
** **From the tone of her voice it sounded like she was mostly blaming the Gaster she knew. From what very little she knew of him, it did seem like something he would do.** **  
** **  
** **Sans and Papyrus hovered behind her. “SO HE’LL BE ALRIGHT?” Papyrus asked, sounding unsure.** **  
** **  
** **–**

“He remembers,” Gaster said, a little flatter than he might’ve intended. He nodded to Papyrus, tone softening a much as it could. “Yeah. Yeah, he’ll be fine.”

–

**Papyrus sighed loudly and put his hands over his face. He wasn’t used to worrying so much. No wonder Sans was so tired all the time.** **  
** **  
** **Toriel held onto Gaster’s soul and began the same thing as before, feeding him energy in silence.** **  
** **  
** **–**

Once again, Gaster tried to help guide the energy, still holding on tight to his counterpart.

Fuck, though. Fuck. There were so many cracks… Could they really fill all them up? Would he really be all right, eventually?

–

**Only time would tell. Gaster wasn’t trying to think too much about that. He just wanted to stay conscious. He didn’t care if he was a goop or didn’t have legs. That would… that would suck a lot, but as long as he was** **there** **with it, it would be alright.** **  
** **  
** **Losing himself had been the most terrifying thing he had ever experienced. War didn’t compare. The void didn’t compare. Nothing did.** **  
** **  
** **–**

The silence was too much.

He missed noise. He missed knowing things. He missed not having room for anything but big feelings that took him and twisted him from his core and out.

When he couldn’t take it anymore, when the buzz of magic and whatever vibration was still coming off those in the room the creaking floorboards, the birds outside–when it wasn’t enough and he couldn’t stand it at all, he looked up to Papyrus and asked, “So, so what have we missed? How long has it been?”

He missed having track of time. He liked sleeping, but–but he hadn’t lost time in so long.

–

**“YOU’VE BEEN HERE ABOUT A DAY SINCE… LAST TIME. WE’VE POPPED IN TO CHECK ON YOU NOW AND AGAIN.” Papyrus said, then tried to smile. “IT’S OKAY THOUGH. WE’RE FINE JUST… WAITING FOR EVERYTHING TO BE OKAY. SLOW IS GOOD.”** **  
** **  
** **Slow was better than nothing. That first night had been hell.** **  
** **  
** **After another moment Toriel sighed and withdrew her hands, rubbing them a little. “There. I cannot fix what had been done, but that will give him more energy to work with.”** **  
** **  
** **“thanks tori.” Sans said, having been silent through everything. He was looking down at both Gasters, heavy bags under his eye sockets. “it means a lot.”** **  
** **  
** **She smiled and stood. “It is nothing my friend. I am here to help.”** **  
** **  
** **–**

Gaster nodded, listening. “Thank you,” he said once the Queen finished.

He looked back down at his twin, trying to see if he could tell how effective the healing had been.

He made a mental note to drag Sans back into this room once she was gone.

–

**Gaster had more energy at the very least. His arms felt a little more solid and the base he sat on a little less fluid, but… those cracks were still there. His soul was still glued and tied together haphazardly.** **  
** **  
** **Perhaps it always would be.** **  
** **  
** **Papyrus lead Toriel back out into the living room and Sans turned a moment later to follow.** **  
** **  
** **–**

“Sans,” Gaster called, just before he left. “Come over here.”

–

**Sans blinked and turned, closing the door a little before walking back over to the double.** **  
** **  
** **–**

“You look awful,” he said. “So get down here and hug your fucking dad.”

–

**The skeleton looked surprised, but soon smiled and did just that. Gaster finally peeled himself away just enough to wrap an arm around Sans. He squeezed him tight.** **  
** **  
** **Sans clutched at his back and his face twitched before he hid it in his father’s chest. He always tried to distance himself from the situation and not care, or pretend he didn’t care. It was just easier that way.** **  
** **  
** **He didn’t want to lose his dad again. He didn’t know if he could handle it a second time around.** **  
** **  
** **–**

Gaster moved away, just enough to let his twin and Sans hug each other without him getting in the way. He watched quietly, still supporting his twin as much as he could.

Sans had looked so awful.

…even if things did go wrong, as wrong as they could possibly go, at the very least, he wouldn’t have missed a chance to hug his father.

–  
  
 **A moment later and Papyrus came back too. The usual loud announcement didn’t come, Gaster looking up at him and holding out another arm.** **  
** **  
** **Papyrus didn’t need told twice.**

**He walked over and knelt down, wrapping his arms around his father. The three hugged tightly for a long time before Gaster finally pulled away so he could sign,** **‘I will be alright. I am here and I won’t leave. I promise.’** **  
** **  
** **Both boys had been crying a little, Sans more than his brother this time. They both nodded.** **  
** _**  
** **‘I’m going to get better and we’re going to rebuild the machine and get Kidster home, okay?’** **  
** **  
** _ **They nodded again, Gaster did too.** **  
** **  
** **He had made a promise. He wouldn’t break it.** **  
** **  
** **–**

He felt like an outsider. And he was. An outsider, really.

So he stayed quiet. Swallowed his own tears. And kept holding his twin up.

He trusted his twin, he decided.

They’d get better. He’d go home. And it was all going to be okay.

Even if the part of him that planned for the worst told him, loud in the quiet of the room, that he should be ready to be wrong.

–

**It took roughly a week before Gaster was able to finally move around on his own without aid. He didn’t have any legs and his face was a melty mess, but that was okay. He was here and things seemed to be getting better. It was very slow going, but better nonetheless.** **  
** **  
** **The boys were trying to busy themselves now that they knew their dad would be okay and his double could stay back to watch him. They made trips back up the mountain and to the lab to start the very long process of fixing things.** **  
** **  
** **Gaster didn’t move much. He liked to sit and either watch TV or read the news online, but he could at least sign and talk now. Which meant that now was a good a time as any for him to finally find out what his twin had gone through.** **  
** **  
** **He sat on the couch and slowly set his machine down to turn to his twin.** _**‘You never did tell me what your void was like.’** **  
** _ **  
** **–**

Gaster had been listening to an ipod when his twin signed, and quickly untaped the earbuds from the side of his head to pay better attention. Still, he was surprised at the question. He’d… almost forgotten that was a conversation topic after the past week.

He’d just sort of. Been ignoring it had happened.

Somehow.

As if he’d always been here, vaguely melted, and helping his twin around the house. Because that’s what was important right then. To focus on the moment he was current _ly in._

_…I don’t even know where to begin, he said, eyes unfocusing a little as he tried to think of how to explain. …it was loud. And bright. And … I don’t know. It was a lot._

–

_**‘Everything all at once?’** _ **Gaster asked, having guessed as much after seeing his twin for the first time in the void.** **‘ _Fucking typical. I get the empty shit.’_** **He smirked his lopsided face.** **  
** **  
** **‘ _But that makes me curious. Is there two? Or… is it infinite? Infinite voids? Is ‘the void’ something that changes depending on who is exposed to it?’_** _**  
** **  
** _ **–**

Gaster nodded as his double began thinking out loud. _Infinite. Definitely._

He felt he would know, of all people. _…haven’t your sons been exposed to the void as well? Can you ask them what they experienced, if it was independent of you?_

He thought a moment longer, before adding. _…It’s… hazy, now. My memories. I know they existed at one point, but I can’t actually access all the details, if that makes any sense? But I think I told you when I found you that we were somewhere I hadn’t seen before?_

–

_**‘They have, but not without me. Even when I was just a soul and Sans came to find me he says it was the same as I described. Papyrus too. We’ve all seen the same thing. But… they’re also clones.’** **  
** **  
** **‘It makes sense.’** _ **He assured,** **‘ _You did. You said it was new.’_** _**  
** _ **  
** **–**

_That’s because I’d seen other places in-between,_ he said, leaning forward a bit. _I’m sure I did, at some point. Because if there was something that **existed** , I knew about it, and if I tried hard enough, I could find it. And if I didn’t, it all just… occurred. Around me. Unfiltered. And I’m sure I saw what must’ve been other voids, and other Gasters, but I can’t tell you fucking shit about them, because I can’t even think about them without it all being hazy._

He raised an eyebrow. _…they’re clones, but their souls have grown into something independent. It think it’s probably that they were stepping into your void specifically, rather than soul or DNA based._

–

_**‘You’re probably right.’** _ **Gaster made a motion of inhaling even though he didn’t really need to.** _**‘Well, you have those notes at least. Did you find out anything really important?’** _

**–**

_….most of it was just… important to me, specifically_ , he said, suddenly looking a bit embarrassed. _…I think the void knowledge must have been some of the first to go. What do you want to know specifically, though? I might have something, at least._

–  
  
 _ **‘That’s alright. Your void, you get to decide what’s important. I learned plenty of stuff you probably can’t really use from my little venture.’**_ **He was referring to such things like the window and being able to read information from its contents that otherwise would be hard, if not impossible to find out on your own.** **  
** **  
** _ **‘Nothing specific. I was… just… curi…o…’** **  
**_ **  
** **He was slipping.** **  
** **  
** **Why was he slipping.** **  
** **  
** **No. Nonononono! SHIT!** **  
** **  
** **Gaster’s body leaned forward and started to lose a little of his form as he felt his soul start to drift just enough for his consciousness to pull away for just long enough for him to begin to forget things. To forget himself.** **  
** **  
** **–**

It took him a moment to realize that wasn’t just a normal form shudder.

“Gaster–” he reached out, grabbing his twin’s form and trying to hold him in his arms, at the same time reaching out with his magic and trying to brush against his soul, figuring out what was wrong.

He stiffened and when he realized what had happened. When he felt the soul’s pieces floating just a bit further apart than they had been before.

He snared them all in his magic. And he pulled them together again.

This wasn’t permitted.

–

**As soon as his double pulled the pieces back together, Gaster was himself again. His form bounced back and for a moment he looked completely dazed.** **  
** **  
** **His blank eyes looked confused as to why he was being held, then he began to realize the few moments before falling apart.** **  
** **  
** **Oh.** **  
** **  
** **Oh no.** **  
** **  
** **His mouth went tense.** **  
** **  
** **He didn’t know what to say.** **  
** **  
** **–**

….

Now was not the time for kindness.

“You don’t have enough substance to hold your soul together,” Gaster said, basing his statement on all the shit that just happened, had been happening those first few days–his decade of studying souls like it was his only project. “You could probably survive on your own if you hadn’t used parts of your soul on Sans and Papyrus. You had an equilibrium before, however tenuous it was. It’s slipping, now. You need more soul, or this is going to keep happening, and someone won’t always be here to pull you back together–or someone is going to try, and they’ll end up causing more damage.”

“That’s the good news. Not enough soul essence. That’s the main problem. Everything else seems to be functioning just fine. It’s like gears that need to be closer together or better tightened, before they all rattle apart.”

–

**Gaster listened to everything his double said intently. For once he was glad Kidster knew more about a subject than he did. He was glad their interests had varied.** **  
** **  
** **Once he was finished he signed,** _**‘And what’s the bad news? Other than that I’m falling apart?’** **  
** _ **  
** **He tried to crack a smile but it just… didn’t come.** **  
** **  
** **–**

“There’s no way to artificially create a soul or additional essence.”

He kept his face stony and calm. “Not that I know of, at least. Sans and Papyrus have souls because you donated parts of your own. I have one because of the human who died before me. Most other monsters have them through their parents. That means a soul should be able to produce more essence on its own to heal itself when it becomes damaged, like in battle.”

“Your damage runs too deep. Your soul isn’t producing anymore. It won’t survive on its own like this.”

And any new damage would probably shatter him for good.

–

**Gaster was quiet for awhile after that. He didn’t know what to say.** **  
** **  
** **Eventually his head lowered, a somber look coming across his melted face. _‘_** _**I shouldn’t have promised them.’** **  
** _ **  
** **–**

“Shut the fuck up.”

Finally, the emotion came back. He snarled. 

“You’re keeping your promise to your kids.”

–

**‘ _How_?’** **Gaster signed as aggressively as he could. His expression turned angry.** _**‘You have any bright ideas, shithead?’** **  
** _ **  
** **He wasn’t angry. Not really. It was just nice to call him names.** **  
** **  
** **–**

His expression turned angry right back, and his voice remained tight. “Fuck you, who do you think you’re talking to?”

He gripped his double’s arm tightly. “Tell me everything you can remember about how you created Sans and Papyrus. E v e r y t h i n g.”

–

**Gaster looked at him, surprised.** **‘What?’** **He signed, frowning.** **‘You’re fucking kidding. I’m not making any of you do that dumb shit. AND IT WAS SOME PRETTY DUMB SHIT.’** **  
** **  
** **–**

“You’re a dumb shit,” Gaster said. He still hadn’t let go, but as soon as he tried to add more words, his voice failed, and–and that hadn’t happened in a long time, it felt like.

He signed one handed.

 _My kids still think I’m dead,_ he said. _And we aren’t doing anything that’s going to hurt Sans and Papyrus. They got their second chance with you. Don’t take it away because you don’t think you’re worth it._

–

**Gaster stared at him for another while before finally looking away.** **  
** **  
** **Motherfucker.** **  
** **  
** **_‘I know everything by heart._ ’** **He signed,** _**‘They were my most wonderful creation, after all.’** **  
** _ **  
** **His hand dropped for a moment and he looked away, internally fighting with himself over something before turning back.** _**‘Is your soul at all damaged from the void?’** _ **  
** **  
** **–**

He hadn’t really checked. Checking on his soul was-– not something he did, not since he was a kid. He’d never really liked looking at it. He’d ignore it in battle.

He reached his hand inside his chest, ignoring the strange sensation that brought, and pulled out his soul.

It crackled with light. Sparks flying off where there shouldn’t have been. Shivering, slightly.

…he wondered if that counted as damage.

–

**Gaster looked at it closely. He couldn’t see any cracks or damage from here. That was… surprising, but good.** **  
** **  
** **Very good.** **  
** **  
** **He inhaled deeply and closed his eyes.** _**‘Thank you.’** **  
  
** _

**Gaster knew it was a pretty personal thing to see.** _**  
** **  
** _ **‘ _It’s painful, but I don’t think you’ll give a fuck. You’re me and I did it just to make a weapon_.’** **His shoulders bounced in a laugh at the thought. He really was a fucking idiot.** **  
** **  
** **–**

He slid it back inside his chest, and grinned at his double’s words. Actually grinned. For a moment, he started feeling hope.

_Just tell me what to do._

–

**Gaster sighed, the sound being one of the only ones he was capable of making at the moment. He started to poke away at his tablet and opened up an entire folder filled to the brim with files before handing it over.** **  
** **  
** _**‘That’s everything. It was one of the first things I rewrote after I got back. The extraction machine will need to be rebuilt. It’s a variant of the DT extractor, but it’s… more intense.’** **  
** _ **  
** **–**

_I’m just glad you didn’t use pliers,_ Gaster said, taking the tablet and immediately beginning to flip through the files, eyes darting back and forth as he began to read. _Just tell me where to get parts, and don’t tell the kids until it’s time to do it. They’ll stress when there’s nothing they can do._

–

**Gaster started to mentally run down a list of everything he would need.** _**‘A lot of it is in the lab. But… to keep suspicion low, we can get Alphys to help.’** **  
** **  
** _ **She had only stopped in briefly before and was even a more nervous wreck than both of them combined. Maybe that’s why she was the only one Gaster got along with.** **  
** **  
** **–**

Gaster nodded. “I’ll call her up. She can keep a secret? Or do we not tell her what we need it for?”

–

_**‘Don’t tell her the reason. Lie and say it’s for the time machine or something. Or a dumb side project for me to work on while I get better.’** **  
** **  
** _ **‘She’ll buy it, but she can’t keep a secret to save her life.’** **Gaster smirked and reached for his phone to hand it over.** **  
** **  
** **–**

Gaster nodded, grinning back. _The best kind of people._

He found Alphy’s number and dialed immediately.

–

**A few rings later and the nervous lizard picked up. “H-hello doctor! O-or is this… the… other doctor…?”** **  
** **  
** **–**

“The other doctor,” Gaster said kindly. “He’s still not quite up to speaking yet, so he asked me to call you. He’s getting sort of fidgety and was hoping you might be able to help us get some parts for a project for him to work on while he’s recovering?”

–

**“O-of course! No problem at all!” Alphys said happily, “H-how’s he doing?” The sounds of her moving around her apartment could be heard through the other line, things being knocked over or shoved aside as she looked for something to write on.** **  
** **  
** **–**

Gaster grinned and signed to his twin, _likes being helpful._

“He’s doing pretty well, considering it’s only been a week. Still sluggish and not up to doing much, but we figured tinkering would be a good exercise to help him get motion back more precisely, if nothing else. He says thank you, by the way.”

–

**Gaster nodded,** _**‘She’s a good kid. Very smart.’** **  
** _ **  
** **“Oh g-good!” The lizard smiled on the other end. “You’re p-probably right. He hates sitting around I b-bet.” She knew him well enough for that. The two hung out quite a lot in comparison to anyone else. They were both anxious wrecks and loved science.** **  
** **  
** **“O-okay, got some paper. What do you need?”** **  
** **  
** **–**

Gaster looked down, attention split between the mechanics indicated on the tablet and keeping an eye on his twin’s hands, just in case there were corrections or additions to be had.

“Hmm…. sheet metal and tools to work with it, some rune carving materials… how much wiring? …a lot of copper and silver wiring with good insulation. Uh…”

He continued to read off the list, trying to keep anything that might’ve hinted one way or another at their purpose fairly casual and far away from the parts it would be interacting with,in hopes Alphys wouldn’t put it together from the material list.

–

**Gaster watched but had nothing to add as Alphys gave small ‘uh-huhs’ and ‘okays’ with each part. Once he was finished reading everything off she eyed the list.** **  
** **  
** **“O-okay, this should only take me a day or two to gather up. I think… m-most I should have lying around I can give you.” There was a sound of something being roughly shoved over before an ‘ah-hah’ came through. “Yeah. Th-the stuff I don’t have I should be able to f-find tomorrow.”** **  
** **  
** **–**

Gaster smiled and gave his double a thumbs-up. “Thanks, Alphys. You don’t know how great it is to hear that. We owe you one.”

–

**“I-it’s no problem! I’m h-happy to help. Tell him I’m rooting for him.”** **  
** **  
** **–**

His smile flickered, but his tone of voice didn’t. “Will do. Thank you again. We’ll leave you to it, then. Come by anytime or feel free to call.”

–

**Alphys gave her goodbyes and hung up. Gaster smiled a little and repeated what he had signed earlier,** _**‘She’s a good kid.’** **  
** _ **  
** **–**

Gaster nodded. _It sounds like it. She said she’s rooting for you._

–

**His smile broadened, but didn’t last very long.** **  
** **  
** **He was still worried and he hated what his twin was doing, but knew there was no point in arguing. Gaster had made a promise to his boys and if this was the only way to make sure it was kept… well… he’d have to pay his double back somehow.** **  
** **  
** **He seemed to forget that he pulled him out of the void, as though that didn’t even count.** **  
** **  
** **–**

Gaster did have a request to make of his double, but. Well. He wasn’t going to say anything until there really was no turning back.

 _I’ll read your files today,_ he said instead, gesturing again to the tablet. _You’re not getting out of my sight until this machine’s ready, alright?_

–

**Gaster smiled a little and said something he had said to his double many times before,** _**‘Yes mom.’** **  
** _ **  
** **–**

Gaster sighed and shook his head.

_I can’t believe my son is so much older than me, and still I’m the more mature one._

–

**He laughed, a very hoarse and distorted sound. Weak.** **  
** **  
** _**‘Aging is mandatory. Growing up is optional.’** **  
** _ **  
** **–**

He grinned at the laugh, thrilled to have any sound coming out of his double.

_Don’t make excuses to your mother._

–

**He laughed again before they fell into a comfortable quiet. Then he signed,** **‘ _Don’t let Sans see you reading those. He’ll know what they are.’_** _**  
** **  
** _ **–**

Gaster nodded again, _Will do._

He took a deep breath. It would be a long few days, wouldn’t it?

–

**Alphys hit a snag in getting some of the more complicated parts, but in the end she pulled through. After a few days they had everything they needed and with Gaster’s clear blueprints it would only take a few days to build.** **  
** **  
** **During those few days he did slip away a number of times, needing to be grabbed and pulled back into consciousness by his twin. It was pretty clear it was a horrifying experience for him. It wasn’t like losing his form and being a soul sitting in muck, it was… losing himself entirely. It was dying. Ceasing to exist for a brief moment before being tugged back into reality.** **  
** **  
** **It was terrible. He was sitting on the edge of here and gone and constantly slipping off the side only for his double to grab hold of him and pull him back. At least it never happened around the boys. They were busy repairing the lab and trying to get the machine back into working order.** **  
** **  
** **The machine** **they** **built, however, was easily stored inside his room. It was small and unassuming for what it did. It was ready to work.** **  
** **  
** **Despite his other being able to read exactly what it did, Gaster felt the need to explain anyway;** **‘ _You’ll need to attach all the monitors to your soul. It feels awful. Then you take the extractor and hook it to the part you want… yanked out.’_ ** **He looked uncomfortable at his own words.** _**‘Then it will feed into the containment chamber.’** **  
** **  
** **‘You definitely pass out, but the piece won’t persist forever. After that we have roughly 48 hours before it dissipates.’** **  
** _ **  
** **–**

Gaster hated this. He hated watching his twin try to survive like this. He hated the panic that rose up on the edges of his consciousness every time they were separate for even a short moment. It was hellish and unhealthy and he just worked on the machine as fast as he could, trusting his double to double-check his adjustments and tell him when things were looking off.

He only signed about the machine, too worried about Sans and Papyrus overhearing accidentally. He’d started thinking maybe they shouldn’t tell them at all. Either they’d succeed, or they’d fail. Either way, there was nothing the kids could do until the aftermath.

 _All right,_ he said, listening along to the explanation, though he’d already read it over several times. _Then that means your most vulnerable state is while I’m unconscious in the immediate aftermath. It would probably be best if while I’m unconscious, you take the separated part and apply it to yourself at that point, just in case I don’t wake up in time and you have another ‘attack.’_

–

**Gaster looked uncomfortable and worried. What was putting a piece of his double’s soul going to do to him? Would he see memories? Would his personality alter slightly?** **  
** **  
** **God he hoped not. He’d end up being likable.** **  
** **  
** **Hesitantly, he nodded.** _**‘Get into a chair. Try to be comfortable. You’ll be out for at least a few hours.’** **  
** _ **  
** **God he hoped souls worked the same in his twin’s world. If this shattered it just to fucking fix himself he would never live it down.** **  
** **  
** **Sudden anxiety at the thought welled up inside him.** **‘ _Are you sure?’_** **He said, his hands shaking a little.** _**‘Are you sure you want to do this?’** **  
** _ **  
** **–**

_Do you want to die?_ Gaster asked back, watching his double closely while grabbing a chair and putting it into position. _Do you want your kids to lose their dad again before you’ve had at least a century together?_

…he was scared, too.

He was.

This was uncharted territory in at least five different ways he could think of off the top of his head. But the theory was viable. And he was expendable. If this worked, it would be worth it.

Still, he took a deep breath as he settled into the chair, fidgeting with nerves.

_…We both know I might get dusted from this. Let’s just. Get that out there._

–

**_‘Don’t_.’ ** **He signed desperately.** **‘ _Don’t die, I fucking mean it. I am not going to be responsible for making your kids lose their dad when they have a chance to see you again. Don’t you dare put that guilt on me or I swear to fucking shit I will spend the rest of eternity finding the afterlife or whatever the hell is beyond just to find you and kick your fucking ass.’_** _**  
** _ **  
** **–**

_I look forward to it,_ Gaster said, taking another deep breath. _…look. It might happen. I’m just telling you what to do if that’s the case, all right? It’s not on you. It’s on me. I made this choice myself. You couldn’t change my mind if you tried to, so you might as well go along with it, all right?_

–

**He was silent for a few moments before nodding.** _**‘Alright.’** **  
** _ **  
** **Gaster moved forward and leaned down to hug his double tightly, but made it brief. If he lingered he would lose what little nerve he had. Afterwards he began to hand him each monitor and the extractor itself to apply to his soul, then started up the machine.** **  
** **  
** **He was glad the boys weren’t home.** **  
** **  
** **–**

…while his double set the machine up, he started talking.

“If I’m dusted, the soul extracted should still be maintained. Follow the plan, and apply it to yourself immediately. No mourning until that’s done. No beating yourself up over this. And.. if you see my Sans again–…when you see him again, tell him I died the moment the machine malfunctioned. I’ve been dead for a long, long time, and he’s doing the right thing by letting it go.”

… “…scatter my dust between your family, my kids, and… and the ruins in the Capital. That’s all.”

Oh God. Oh God.

The machine was starting.

It latched onto his soul, and he tried to stay calm.


	18. Just Like Me pt 6

**Gaster couldn’t cry anymore. Not real tears. He didn’t look at his double as he spoke, but his shoulders bobbed and his eyes started to seep black.** **  
** **  
** **He had accidentally made his double cry once. Now he returned the favor.** **  
** **  
** **All he managed was a nod.** **  
** **  
** **Gaster watched the monitors as it all began, the extractor warming up before clenching onto a piece of his soul and piercing it like a knife. It began to pull and tug and draw it away.** **  
** **  
** **It was extremely painful. It wasn’t like being stabbed physically. It was… something else entirely. It was on a whole other level.** **  
** **  
** **–**

He tried to stay quiet.

He’d tried, for just a short time, to focus on being quiet. He screamed anyway.

His hands dug into the chair, fingers twitching and the strength of his grip nearly bending the wood as he tried to stay still, or–he was trying to get away. Tugging himself away from the extractor, trying to escape the horrendous pain that didn’t just penetrate his chest where he kept his soul, but laced through his whole being and reached parts of himself he hadn’t known existed and–

And for a moment, he tried to meld with reality again, just to get away.

He kept screaming.

It came from every window and door in the room.

And it started coming from the pages of papers and cracks in the floor and the wiring in the ceiling as his soul stretched, and thinned, and there were a hundred other voices all crying out in agony before the thread snapped.

And he knew no more.

–

**Gaster couldn’t watch. He didn’t even watch the machine anymore. His eyes just… shut off. He shut off his ears. As his double tried to stretch into infinity he did the opposite. He pulled into himself. He pulled into the nothing he was made of.** **  
** **  
** **No sound. No air. No nothing.** **  
** **  
** **The machine finished. Just like that the pain would stop and the piece would glide into it’s container.** **  
** **  
** **–**

The soul piece was large and twisted with colors around its edges, like the reflections on a soap bubble.

It slid in its container without any trouble, even as its former owner slid out of the chair, and collapsed on the floor.

–

**He forced himself back not for his own sake, but for his counterpart’s. His eyes never moved down to look and see if he was dusted, because if he saw that he was, he knew he wouldn’t be able to continue.** **  
** **  
** **Gaster pulled out the containment chamber and opened it while pushing his own soul out of his chest, hovering it there. With his other hand he grabbed the piece of his double’s colorful soul, contrasting against the solid black coils that were holding his together.** **  
** **  
** **His hands shook only for a moment before he pressed them together.** **  
** **  
** **–**

The soul was malleable, not rigid, as they so often seemed to be. It didn’t seem to know what to do about the black coils, simply mounding on top of them, but the moment they brushed up against his actual soul, it reacted, smoothing out and latching on, forming a new shell around the cracked and brittle remnants.

–

**Gaster watched and waited, his twin’s soul forming around his own. After it encased his own he started to retract some of the coils, hesitantly seeing if it would hold on it’s own.** **  
** **  
** **He still didn’t dare look back at his other.** **  
** **  
** **–**

As the coils retracted, the shell thinned, slipping down like a liquid into the cracks, filling them up, and settling there, shining and shifting slightly like melted nickel. It didn’t exactly fuse with his soul, remaining somewhat distinct, but it settled in and held the pieces together tightly, smoothing over chipped edges and fractures.

–

**Gaster straightened up. He felt… normal. For a split second he felt joy. He could relax. There was no fear of drifting apart. He was alive.** **  
** **  
** **But…** **  
** **  
** **Slowly he turned to look back at his twin.** **  
** **  
** **–**

He hadn’t held his form.

That wasn’t fully unusual. He often lost a lot of his form when he went to sleep, when he wasn’t thinking about it, like if he forgot to stay in one place he might just… not stay there.

This wasn’t that.

Usually, when he lost his form, he became liquid. A puddle.

What was at the foot of the chair was much closer to a smudge.

It still had identifiable features. A face, two hands, a sweater and lower half, but–

But it was fuzzy and impossible to fully pull into focus.

–

**He turned to it and tried to reach out with his magic, eyes flaring purple while he felt for a soul. Anything.** **  
** **  
** **One hand moved towards him, trying to grab or hold what he could only assume was his hand. With a little strain, he spoke for the first time in nearly a month. “I͜t wo͏r̡ke̕d,̷ ̕K͝i̷ḑs͢te̛r. Yo͏u ͢di̡d̢ it."̴ He smiled, but it didn’t last.** **  
** **  
** **"Y҉ou f͟ucki̧ng idio̢t.”** **  
** **  
** **–**

There was a soul. It was spitting and scattered and frantic, but not shattered, and not gone.

There was no response from the body when he spoke. There wasn’t any response when the hand was touched.

But he was alive, still.

–

**Gaster kept his magic trained on the soul just like his double had for him, using just enough to gently hold it and, maybe, give him a lifeline into the reality that he needed to be in. He could feel his body beginning to come back without even trying. Legs. A bit of detail in his suit and coat. Eyes.** **  
** **  
** **He knelt in front of his twin, his hand never leaving the other’s even if there was no response.** **  
** **  
** **He kept talking.** **  
** **  
** **“You̵ ̕p̸ro͝bab̛l̡y ̕sca̛r̢ed th̸e enti̧rę b҉l͝oc̨k͞ ̧with ͠th͟a̢t̢ ̛scre̷a͠m͟.̨ Might̢y ̷i͝m҉p͏rȩssiv̸e.̛ B̷e҉tte̸r̸ ҉t̴h̷a̷ņ ͟I͝ ͞co̴ul͠ḑ e͡v̷ȩr ̵mana̵g̕e.͞"͝** **  
** **  
** **–**

The soul stopped fluttering quite as much, settling into the gravity of Gaster’s magic. Slowly, his form began to come back into focus. His hand phased in and out of Gaster’s own before finally settling into place. It took a little longer for an weight to return to it. But weight did, slowly, return to it.

There was no squeeze or light in his eyes, not yet, but gradually, he was coming back.

–

**Gaster was fine with this. His double was alive. Unconscious, understandably, but alive.** **  
** **  
** **He pulled his old stool over with telekenisis and sat down, hand still holding onto his twin’s and magic locking his soul down.** **  
** **  
** **"͞Now tha͠t̵ s͝om̵e i̢dio̵t͏ g̵a͞ve ͏m̨e a ͜pi͜ece of͘ ̵t̨h̶e̕m w̢e̛ ͏ca̶n͝ a̛l̕l͏ wor͢k͠ ̧o͡n͏ ̶t͠he mac̸hi̧ne̵ an͝d̛ ̧g͞e̕t̷ y͟o͏u home. ̧W҉e͢'ll͠ ge̛t͞ y͞ou t͞o y͏our͝ b͝o҉y͟s͝ i҉n ͏no ti̴me̶.͢ ̶I͡'m̧ s͠ur̷e̸ they͟'͡l͡l b̛e ͜ḩa̶pp̛y t҉o ͜se̛e you̢.̨”** **  
** **  
** **–**

The longer they stayed, the more real Gaster’s body appeared.

Still, it was a long time later that he became conscious again.

He woke up gradually, sound being his first awareness. And he just stayed there. And listened. Until he realized he could feel as well, and that he was lying down.

It was a while after that when he opened his eyes and actually startled looking around slowly, his memory intact but his thoughts slow.

“G̱̗̘̘͓̞̝a̤̕s̢ͅt̩̖̘̪̥e̲͇r̖̠͖̬̜̼.̢̻̝̝̠..̜̹̞̲̺̙?̧̺͚̟̙̹͈͍”

–  
  
 **During the time he had been unconscious Gaster hadn’t left, hadn’t stopped holding his twin’s soul, and hadn’t let go of his hand.** **  
** **  
** **Of course he had to explain things to Sans and Papyrus when they got home alone. That had been a trip. They were understandably angry but… thankful everything had turned out okay.** **  
** **  
** **He turned and looked down at his twin, looking in better shape than he had in a long time. He had a head. A face. Eye lights. He was wearing that suit and lab coat he always seemed to form with his body. He had legs.** **  
** **  
** **The purple light finally died from his eyes and he smiled.** **  
** **  
** **“Hey Kidster. Feeling like shit?” He grinned.** **  
** **  
** **–**

He grinned back, small and exhausted, but real. Real, and glad to hear his twin’s voice and see him looking like himself again.

“N̴͉̲̖̩n̘̖n̻̠̠̹͝n̦̤̱n̥͈̰̲̦͘ye̝̘̫̣̗̝a̤͉̙̺͚̗h.̣̗̰͓̬̗,” he said, hardly able to muster the agreement. He breathed slowly, gathering himself to say more. “Q̘̦̳u͉̬͇͇͎̩͝e̻͔̗͙.͕̫͕͙.̧̺̬̖̹̥ͅ.͎͇̻s̙̱t̴̗i͇ǫ̫̘̞͓̪n̼̼͈̼͈͉̗.͕̭̙͉͞.̹̙.̛͔̩”

–  
  
 **“Hm?” Gaster mumbled in his typical fashion.** **  
** **  
** **–**

“H̵͙̮͇ͅo͖̳̮̫ͅw͇̗̘̮̳̬'̯̠̻̜̼̼s̼̞ ̧̲͍͍͈̫i̯̟t̸͇̠̺ ̭̠f̛͍̩̭̤̠͔e̬e͇̯̠͕̲͚l̬̥ͅ.̡̫͙͉.̖̝.̧.͉ ̻͡” Gaster said, grin widenening even though his speech was still a struggle. “…t͇̖̩̱o̻͟ ̙h͖̦͈a͠ve͏̞̦̮̥ a͙̝̥̟ ̴̰̘̝d͔̟̺ḛ̕a̯̟̼̟͞ͅd͚͍͇̺̻̰̗ ͈̠̺͝ͅh̜̤̲̻͓͟ͅu͎͕͎̼m͖̖̲ạ̝̻̬͕͎̙n̼̟̹̳̭ ̵͖̦i̷̪̫͙̼n̪̯͜s̩͢i̵̳d͇e̻̲͍͚͚ ̯ͅy̡̳͚o̤͖̠̭u̜̹?̦”

–

**The sound of something shattering inside inside Gaster’s head was almost audible. His eye lights vanished and his mouth turned into little more than a straight line.** **  
** **  
** **–**

Gaster laughed until he choked, and then kept laughing.

Worth it.

–

**Gaster slowly pulled his hand away from his twin’s and slowly pulled himself off the chair to lay face down into the floor, straight as a board.** **  
** **  
** **He started to scream, the noise muffled by the carpet.** **  
** **  
** **“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!”** **  
** **  
** **–**

Without his twin holding his hand still, Gaster began pounding it on the floor as he laughed, unable to control his nonexistant diaphragm.

He lay on the floor next to his double, spasming with laughter as he screamed.

He really hoped no one was downstairs to hear this.

–  
  
 **Unfortunately for both of them, both the boys were home. It was late in the evening and they were making dinner, but stopped as soon as they heard screaming and came running. Papyrus nearly kicked the door down, spoon in hand.** **  
** **  
** **“WHAT’S GOING ON!?” He screamed in a panic, Sans looking equally terrified.** **  
** **  
** **That soon stopped when they saw their father’s double awake and laughing. They both looked at one another confused.** **  
** **  
** **“NOTHING.” Gaster yelled, his deep voice sounding more angry than he really was. “Just. Fucking. Asshole. Oh my god.” He rolled over and clutched his chest.** **  
** **  
** **“Oh my god.”** **  
** **  
** **–**

Gaster was still barely getting ahold of himself, wiping the small void-tears that were starting to form in his eye sockets. Even the abrupt arrival of his twin’s kids didn’t stop his choked laughter, even if it was slowly beginning to die down, finally.

“Y̡̪̭̥̱̥̜o̰̼̼͍͉u̘̟͎̝ ̲͉̥̖͎̦s͈̱h̘̩̼̣̝o̜̹̗̱ul̸̤d͈̺͎͘ ̡̙̺̰h̘̙͞a͇͇̠̖̟̮̝ve̘̟͕ ̩̘̺̩̝̲̩s̹̼͖͎̣e͖͡e̞̣̝͓͚͉̹͘n̦̭͓ ̢͈͕̺̜̟̮y̤͖̲̝̮̪o͓̬̞̰u̱̺̖̠̻̕r̨͎̳̼̼ ͔̺̰̥͡f̺͖̲̺̖a̻͜a͡a̘͉a̤̟̫͙̦͠ͅa͏̥̲̻̼̲a̻̪a҉̣̼ͅa͎̭̥̲̙̹c͈͙̬e͓͔͕̟.”

He looked up at the kids, grinning wide enough his mouth almost slipped off his face. “Y҉̞o̙̲͓̣u͈̬̫̣ ̩̝̳͉̰͔f̖̺̭̻̣̩u͉͕c̭k̴̪i̸̱͔̜ṉ̛͔̬g͔̪͢ ͙̫̞̪̫m͖͚͖i̮͙ͅs͇̞̳̮̣͔s̘͉̫͙e͇̫͚̪d̡̦̬ ̡̣̞̜̘i͇̯ṭ̢̝̯̗̝̺”

–

**“I AM SO CONFUSED.” Papyrus said, frowning.** **  
** **  
** **“uh. i think your dinner is burning.” Sans said, looking up at his brother.** **  
** **  
** **“OH MY GOODNESS.” The taller skeleton took off back downstairs now that he knew everyone was okay. Sans rolled his eyes at the two of them and shook his head.** **  
** **  
** **“nerds of a feather.” He closed the door as he left.** **  
** **  
** **Once they were gone Gaster stared at the ceiling. “I fucking hate you so much.”** **  
** **  
** **He was smiling wider than he had in what felt like years.** **  
** **  
** **–**

“T͉̺̤̠h̶̞̝̟̙̞͓a̮̠̭͝t͉̦̗͎͕ ̛͚̻͓͇̬̯͕h͕̜̗͈ͅu̧̖͇̤̮͎̩r̹̣̝̻̘͙̼t,҉͖͖͇̻̞̖̼ ̬̥ͅĢ̜̳ͅo̙̝͎̣o̰̹͙͍͔̲̼͠p̜͡.̸” he said, pressing a shaky hand to my chest.

“I̻̮̘̯̻̪̕n̼ ̸͖̻̪̻f̢͉ạ̡̦̙̟̭̰̯c̱̯̤͢t͇͔͕̠̥̣,̯̙͍̰̣͎̬ ̸̩͈̖͕̙̠ͅi̷̗͚̫͈̮̯t̢̳ ̞͕̫̟h͏̦͚̮͕u̷̪̠ͅr̤̥̬̺̣͠ts̭̬̥͇̠̤̗ ͙̻̰̮̳̺s̨̱̜̹͈̮͙o̴̦ ̭̪̹͕͙m̙̘͙͔̹ͅu͍̪̻͉̱c̵̦͓̘͚̦h̭̱͠,҉̟̫̰̲͔ ̴̝̬I̱̲̠̙̲̻ ͎t̰̩̕h̶i̠͎͟n̶̘͉̙k̴̹̳ y͉̠͇͖̙o̡͕̖͖ų̲̦ ҉̩̣j͈̯̲̣̤̙͖u҉̞̥̬̩s̤̫t̵͎ ̪͕̲̠r̩̕i̦̜̳̯̩̜p̲p̮̟̱͢e̡͔͖͎̝̠̹ͅd̙͜ ̛͔̤͇͖̼ͅa̧̹͚ ̤͓͎͉͍̞̗ho̘l̰͈̼̪̜͞e̛͍͙͖͙̲̣ ̘̙̺͕i̯͙̤̙ņ ̝͍̤̖̹͢me͖̱͝.̫̞̹͎̣̫”

God, it was good to have this bastard back.

–

**“Don’t you fucking even you little shithead.” Gaster pointed at him.** **  
** **  
** **After a moment he sat up beside his double just incase he wanted to switch to signing if that were easier. He was still grinning from edge to edge of his face.** **  
** **  
** **“Now I can’t get rid of you even if I try.”** **  
** **  
** **–**

He did switch to signing, still grinning up at his double just as dumbly.

 _Yeah, you’re really **stuck** with me._ He might’ve been a little lightheaded still, but giddiness had a 100% rate of made puns better. He still managed to summon a little seriousness–never losing his grin–to ask, _How’s it feel?_

–  
  
 **He shook his head and wondered if this was how Papyrus felt when him and Sans really got into the back and forth.** **  
** **  
** **“Great. I haven’t felt this good since the first accident. It mended those cracks too.”** **  
** **  
** **Gaster pushed his soul out enough for his double to see it, his own encased in the protective bubble and without needing any of the black glue holding it together in desperation. It was shining and shimmering against his stark blackness.** **  
** **  
** **“I haven’t really poked around to see if anything is different. Just kinda enjoying feeling… one piece.”** **  
** **  
** **–**

He looked at it, and a part of him desperately wished he could’ve looked even closer. Monster souls weren’t ever really supposed to merge in any capacity–only human and monster souls. So to look at his double’s soul, and see how extremely different it looked was… it was new. And beautiful. Turned out, their souls looked pretty good together.

It was a weird thought. A weird feeling. Looking at someone else’s soul, and feeling like he was staring at something familiar.

 _I’m glad,_ he said. _It worked better than I thought it would, in that case._

He hadn’t known if it would work at all. This was beyond anything he’d hoped for. …He wondered how different it must have felt. Suddenly being repaired after having grown so used to living with something much more fragile than it should have been.

 _Let me know when you start messing with it,_ he said, for he had no doubt his double would. _But yeah. Taking it slow… I think is good for both of us right now._

–

**If his form was anything to go by it felt pretty good. He looked better than he ever had before. He looked less like a goo trying to be a monster and more just… a strange monster. His legs felt more solid. He felt stronger.** **  
** **  
** **He felt a little less like nothing, a tiny piece of infinity nestled within his void.** **  
** **  
** **“Yeah… slow is good.”** **  
** **  
** **After a moment he spun around and laid down on the floor beside his double, hands folded over his chest.** **  
** **  
** **“Thanks.”** **  
** **  
** **–**

He rolled, just a bit, to get closer to his twin.

_Glad I could help._

–  
  
 **Gaster smiled and leaned his head a little in, donking the side of it onto his twin’s.** **  
** **  
** **He didn’t know when he had grown so comfortable around him. He was almost more comfortable around him than his kids. Mostly because he couldn’t hide things from him like he could from those two.** **  
** **  
** **His double was the only one he was an open book to. It was weird.** **  
** **  
** **But nice.** **  
** **  
** **It only made sense that he could only like someone so much if it was himself.** **  
** **  
** **–**

 _I think I’m going to sleep more_ , he said after a long moment. He didn’t react much to the donk except grinning a bit more widely and considering shoving his double, but that seemed like more effort than his still-reformed body was ready for.

…Actually, he wasn’t putting much effort into his body at all, at the moment. Yet it was still holding shape, and had been holding shape since he’d been unconscious.

He was tired, and still ached from the extraction, and from moving a lot when he probably shouldn’t have with his laughter, but–but he felt a little less frayed than he had before.

A little more capable of rest.

 _I’m glad you’re better,_ he said finally, again. Because it kept coming back to him.

His double was going to be all right, now.

–

**“Me too.” Gaster smiled, “I’m glad you’re alive.”** **  
** **  
** **He paused.** **  
** **  
** **“Sleep well. I’ll be here when you wake up.”** **  
** **  
** **And he would be. His twin hadn’t left him those intense, scary days where his consciousness was slipping. He was going to repay the favor however little he could and make sure his twin didn’t wake up alone in a world that wasn’t his own.** **  
** **  
** **–**

He closed his eyes and nodded, relaxing.

Like something from a dream, there was a distant understanding that he’d lived most of his life feeling unsafe in his sleep. The fear something would happen while he wasn’t paying attention. Worry about nightmares. Being snuck up on. Even if it were irrational fears, they were real to him, and he’d gotten used to them.

But this?

Was safe.

And he fell asleep soundly.

–

**The boys would come in and check on them a few times, but like Gaster had promised he didn’t move and would be right there still beside his double as soon as he woke up. He was very used to sitting around and doing nothing or not moving much. It wasn’t so bad when you couldn’t feel much. You never really ached or got sore.** **  
** **  
** **At first he would feel around in his soul, wondering if maybe there were any weird memories that weren’t his or maybe an ideal that he knew he wouldn’t have.** **  
** **  
** **Like hospitality. He never fucking had that shit. That would definitely be from his double.** **  
** **  
** **–**

The foreign bits of soul had largely settled into place, but there were a few bits and pieces that seemed slightly out of place. A cautiousness about water. A memory of a warm house underground. Scattered hospital rooms. The shadowed memories of anger and fear wrapped together in self-loathing, smoothed over and covered in cotton, so that perhaps Gaster could get a closer look if he wanted to, but it would have to be an intentional effort.

He might uncover more or clearer images if he encountered triggers such as places or events, but for the most part, the memories could’ve been easily pushed aside.

–

**It was strange to have these things you knew you weren’t supposed to. It was like looking into someone else’s mind but knowing that they were inside you rather than in who they were supposed to be. If his double’s soul was anything like his own he would retain everything from the extraction. He hadn’t stolen anything, merely borrowed.** **  
** **  
** **A damaged soul filled in the holes. He knew that very, very well. He would maybe pry more another time. But for now, he was content to leave it be and just enjoy feeling less… breakable.** **  
** **  
** **With that done he would grab his tablet and begin reading the news, waiting for his twin to get enough rest.** **  
** **  
** **–**

Gaster woke a few hours later, feeling better than he had before he slept. He spent a few moments just watching his double read before deciding to alert him to his awareness by tapping him a bit.

–  
  
 **The white dot of his good eye looked over at him and he smiled, “Mornin’. Feel better?”** **  
** **  
** **He hadn’t moved an inch from where he had laid down the night before.** **  
** **  
** **–**

He gave a thumbs-up.

_Definitely. I might still be a bit slow for a while, but I feel a lot better._

–

**“Good. I’m glad.” He said, then turned back to his tablet, but could still make out what his double was saying through the corner of his eye. “Just take it easy. I did that shit twice, so-” He laughed bitterly at himself, “I know how you probably feel.”** **  
** **  
** **“But I had an actual body then too, so…” Gaster took a moment and trailed off, suddenly turning and looking his twin up and down.** **  
** **  
** **“Speaking of, you’re holding together pretty well. You have this whole time.”** **  
** **  
** **–**

He nodded, glancing down over himself once again. _Yeah, I…. wasn’t really expecting that. I sort of thought I’d fall apart even more with part of my soul missing, but… well, when you fall apart or hold yourself together, does it feel like anything?_

–

**“Not really.” Gaster said, gaze lingering on his double’s legs before going back to the tablet. “Curious though. I really thought you were going to vanish again for a second there. You were screaming from everywhere and didn’t even really have a physical body anymore, I don’t think.”** **  
** **  
** **–**

Gaster noticed his twin’s gaze, kicked up his leg, and struck a dramatic pose. _Jealous_?

He stopped that quickly enough. _…I don’t remember much of that but a haze of pain, so I believe you. I… keeping my form together’s been a conscious effort. Not hard? But like. Always remembering to clench your fist or something. I think it’d make sense I… fell apart a bit, there._

–

**Gaster scoffed and kicked his own leg up. “Please. If you got the pretty face at least let me have the legs.”** **  
** **  
** **He better have the legs. He was taller by a little. That had to count for something, right?** **  
** **  
** **“I know what you mean. Keeping legs has always been hard for me until now. Thanks to you.” Gaster smiled, his eyes having gone back to the news on his screen. “First time I haven’t had to try to keep them solid. It’s nice.”** **  
** **  
** **It was actually a lot better than ‘nice’, but he didn’t know how else to put it. He felt whole. He felt like more than just a goop.** **  
** **  
** **He hoped his double felt the same way.** **  
** **  
** **–**

Gaster laughed. It was still a little frazzled, but otherwise whole. You can have the legs.

He was surprised by that news, though, and couldn’t help but smile a bit back. Good to hear it. _Yeah, it’s… I think it might’ve done the same for me, in a way. I don’t feel like I’m going to float away if I let my focus wander…_

Even when he was alive he’d always been sort of prone to having scattered attention, but after being in the void–it was all or nothing. No filter from anything or complete blocking out. After a few days of getting used to the quiet that was this world, he’d adapted to it, and had the same problem.

Now it was like. A bit less. Like when his counterpart had first hugged him, in the void, when they’d both been fully connected to their prisons, and the contact had muted it all.

_Definitely not the worst idea we’ve had, at least._

–

**Gaster couldn’t help but laugh at that, “For once we didn’t fuck it up! Imagine that. Something turned out good for everyone involved. Is this a first?”** **  
** **  
** **–**

_It actually might be a first,_ he said, nodding after a moment of thought. _Wow. That’s actually kind of horrifying._

–

**“Fuckin’ pair of geniuses.” Gaster laughed again.** **  
** **  
** **Idiots. Both of them.** **  
** **  
** **Wonderful. Stupid. Brilliant. Idiots.** **  
** **  
** **–**

He laughed with him. It was short and stupid, and he felt better than he had in a long time, being able to laugh about how many ways they’d both fucked up.

_Did we scare the kids too bad, speaking of things we’re geniuses about?_

–

**Gaster’s laughed died down to an awkward ‘ahhh’.** **  
** **  
** **“Yeah they were scared shitless.” He admitted, “Ran into me fully formed, you were unconscious. Sans knew what the machine was and was** **pissed** **. Eventually they were fine with it. They were just happy everyone was okay and you were** **going** **to be okay.”** **  
** **  
** **He paused, “I made sure to put all the blame on you.”** **  
** **  
** **–**

Gaster nodded. _I don’t blame you. You have to live with them. I can flee dimensions, eventually._

He paused, considering. _…did you tell them why we did it?_

–

**“Yeah. They were mostly angry we didn’t tell them.” He said and inhaled deeply for air he didn’t need. “But… everything is okay.” Gaster smiled and looked at him.** **  
** **  
** **“The plan is I’m going to watch over for you until you get your sea legs back, then we’re all gonna head up and work on the machine to get you back home. It…” His smile fell. “It might take awhile, unfortunately. The lab was wrecked and the machine needs a lot of new parts.”** **  
** **  
** **–**

Gaster nodded, but didn’t find himself regretting that choice. Maybe because he didn’t have to confront the kids over it.

Slowly, he started pushing himself upright into a sitting position. _All right. I’m fine with it taking a while. I’ve waited however long to get back, I can wait a little longer to be stable and have a safe ride to see them again._

He was impatient and definitely ready to go, but–now that the reality that he might actually see his kids again was something that was really happening, he was also a bit scared of it.

A wait wouldn’t be terrible.

–  
  
 **Gaster sat up too, shoving his tablet inside him before eventually standing. He held a hand down to his double.** **  
** **  
** **“Wanna try eating actual food for the first time? The boys are making breakfast.”** **  
** **  
** **–**

Gaster took his double’s hand and stood. He was definitely a bit unsteady still, but didn’t fall.

_Sounds good._

He followed his double down the hall and to the kitchen, grinning stupidly the whole time. He wondered if he could still taste things.

–

**Gaster hoped he could. He couldn’t. Maybe it would be different for his twin.** **  
** **  
** **The kitchen was bright and lovely, Papyrus cooking eggs over the stove while Sans sat at the table and drank coffee.** **  
** **  
** **“GOOD MORNING! FEELING BETTER?” He asked his dad’s doppelganger. Sans waved.** **  
** **  
** **–**

_Yes, definitely,_ he answered, glad that for once, his ‘good news’ didn’t really seem to have anything actually menacing looming over it. He reached the table with his twin and sat down, wondering briefly if along with the other changes to his soul, his double’s reaction to food might be different.

–

**There was only one way to find out.** **  
** **  
** **Gaster moved to pour himself a cup of coffee, turning to look at his double. “You drink coffee? We might have tea too.”** **  
** **  
** **“WE HAVE TEA.” Papyrus pointed at one cupboard above his father, who opened it up and started to dig around.** **  
** **  
** **–**

He hesitated, but nodded a moment later. Tea would be nice.

He hoped he could still taste it.

–

**Gaster pulled out the tea and a mug, then moved to grab the kettle and fill it with water. He could feel that tiny bit of apprehension upon seeing the water that wasn’t his, but otherwise didn’t outwardly react.** **  
** **  
** **Papyrus set about putting the eggs on the plates, as well as setting a dish full of toast in the middle of the table for everyone.** **  
** **  
** **He gave his father’s double his plate first, then one for Sans and his dad before finally himself.** **  
** **  
** **Sans instantly drowned them in ketchup.** **  
** **  
** **Papyrus didn’t even react anymore half the time.** **  
** **  
** **–**

Gaster signed a quick thanks and glanced over at his twin before hesitantly picking up the cutlery  and starting to try to eat. He was… a little scared of this? Which was pretty stupid, but. But he was. What if he couldn’t taste anything? What if it was all different?

Maybe it would be better if he just kept not ever eating…

–

**Once the water was boiling Gaster sat down beside his double and looked over at him.** **  
** **  
** **“Don’t be a** **chicken** **.”** **  
** **  
** **Sans nearly choked on his food.** **  
** **  
** **–**

_… okay, I deserved that after the human joke,_ Gaster said.

Because reminding his double of the human thing was revenge enough.

Hesitantly, he cut some egg and ate it.

He twisted in sudden discomfort, but didn’t lose his form, and swallowed it down.

–  
  
 **“Atta boy.” Gaster smiled and drank some of his coffee. “Well?”** **  
** **  
** **–**

 _That was strange and horrifying_ , Gaster said, eyes squeezed closed. _I didn’t know I could taste atoms but that was really fucked up._

He ate another bite, anyway.

–

**“Damn, that sounds pretty bad.” He laughed despite himself. “I’m not sure which is worse, that or not tasting anything.”** **  
** **  
** **He shovelled some of the eggs into his mouth.** **  
** **  
** **–**

_Clearly the solution is we swap more soul essence until we’re both halfway to normal,_ he said, eating the rest of the egg and trying to slowly get used to the new sensation.

He was a little disappointed that his twin didn’t get any taste, apparently, but oh well. He’d donated some nice legs.

–  
  
 **“But then who would run our freak club?” Gaster asked, sounding disappointed at the thought of disbanding their imaginary club they had made up years ago. As the kettle began to scream he pulled it off with his telekinesis and poured it into the cup with the teabag before floating the whole thing over to his double.** **  
** **  
** **Maximum laziness.** **  
** **  
** **Using his magic didn’t make him feel so spent anymore. It was a nice change.** **  
** **  
** **Everything had been nice about this change.** **  
** **  
** **–**

 _I said halfway to normal, not all the way,_ Gaster said. _The freak club will still have weekly newsletters and potlucks to ignore._

He took the cup without commenting and set it down to steep, dragging sugar over towards him before hesitating, wondering how sugar would or wouldn’t affect his newfound ‘taste’.

…he decided, fuck it, and poured his usual hideous amount of sweetener in, anyway.

–

**Gaster smirked, but gave his twin some time to try his new ‘atom tea’. “You two heading back up to the lab today? How’s that going?”** **  
** **  
** **“yeah. shit’s a mess.” Sans groaned and leaned back in his chair. The doctor winced and looked at Papyrus, who didn’t offer much encouragement.** **  
** **  
** **“HE’S… PRETTY RIGHT. THE TIME MACHINE KNOCKED OVER SOME OF THE CONDUCTORS. WE’RE GOING TO NEED TO REBUILD HALF OF IT.”** **  
** **  
** **“Oof…” Gaster winced, “Well, I built it once. We just have to do it again. We know how to make it not explode.”** **  
** **  
** **–**

_Did it explode a lot?_ Gaster asked, looking mildly concerned. He knew most things his twin touched ended up exploding at some point, but, well, he could always hope.

Hopefully he’d be able to help some and things wouldn’t be… too difficult to rebuild.

–

**“It exploded** **once** **.” Gaster said, “That’s what flung me into the void.” He took a drink from his mug and eat a few more eggs before adding, “So we take it slow and double-check everything five times. Lest we destroy another timeline.”** **  
** **  
** **He suddenly realize something he had never told his double. “This… isn’t our original timeline. It’s just the one we call home.”** **  
** **  
** **–**

Gaster paused midway through stirring his tea. He looked at his twin for what felt like a very long time before signing, _What the fuck?_

–

  
**“Learn somethin’ new about your idiot double every day.” He said, sounding a little embarrassed.** **  
** **  
** **“My first time machine was built to try and see if anyone else had managed to break the barrier. Something went wrong. It exploded and… I can only assume sucked in that entire timeline in with it. It spat me into the void. The boys escaped and ended up having to grow up without me after being flung into this world. Sans’ age was reverted just enough that he retained memory. Papyrus wasn’t.” He looked at them both, but neither made any indication that this bothered them. It was in the past.** **  
** **  
** **He looked at his twin, “I never existed in this world. No one knows who I am. I’m just… the kid’s weird dad. I didn’t invent the CORE or fight in the war or anything.”** **  
** **  
** **“I was never alive.”**


	19. Just Like Me pt 7

He didn’t know what to say to that.

He could figure out how to paste his soul onto someone else’s and help stop them from slowly shattering, but he couldn’t think of how to respond to that.

He’d always…. Just sort of assumed that his double was in a similar situation as him. Existing, just overwritten. A conveniently empty hole in the world that no one really thought to look at, and which had overgrown over time, until no one missed him at all. Except Sans.

All the stories he’d been told of his friend’s past, he’d slotted into place in the few people around him he met, making assumptions he’d thought were logical with how things fit together. And now he felt like an idiot. And he thought back to the conversation with Toriel, how many days ago–?

And he wondered if that was the difference between their voids. Gaster’s world still existed, he’d simply been spat out of it.

Maybe his twin had never left.

 _…that sounds like a lot,_ he said, finally, after taking longer than he’d like to digest it. _Trying to find a place in a world where they all look like people you know, but they don’t…_

He wasn’t sure where he was going with that, so he stopped talking. And stirred his tea. And reached out to give his double’s arm a squeeze.

_Your life is pretty fucked up._

–  
  
 **“Thanks!” He said as cheerfully as he could manage. Gaster had stopped dwelling on it eons ago.** **  
** **  
** **“We’ve got some time to kill while you recover. Maybe I’ll tell you the fucking novel that is my fucked up life.”** **  
** **  
** **–**

 _I didn’t know you were into torture,_ Gaster said, drinking his tea. It tasted like violent explosions. _Let’s do it._

–

**He laughed, “Okay. But after the boys leave.”** **  
** **  
** **“AW, WHAT?” Papyrus frowned, “YOU NEVER TELL ME THE COOL STORIES ABOUT BEFORE WE WERE BORN!”** **  
** **  
** **“That’s because they’re fucking violent and you’re a precious little babybones.” He reached over and patted his son’s cheek, who gave him a very blank look.** **  
** **  
** **–**

Gaster leaned in close to his double as though he were whispering and said, _I think you should run before Papyrus decides to take offense to that finally._

–  
  
 **Gaster looked at his double, then at Papyrus, who still had a blank look.** **  
** **  
** **“Uh. I’ll… tell… you a little… sometime.”** **  
** **  
** **Papyrus narrowed his eye sockets.** **  
** **  
** **“… Promise?”** **  
** **  
** **Papyrus grinned happily as though nothing bad had just happened and stood up to clean the plates.** **  
** **  
** **Gaster sighed.** **  
** **  
** **–**

Gaster patted his shoulder and signed while Papryus’ back was turned. _Just tell him stories about your parents. It’ll be fine. He’ll be thrilled to know about his grandparents and will forget the rest for a while._

–

**‘ _Good idea_.’** **Gaster signed back, then went back to his coffee.** **  
** **  
** **“So how the atom tea?”** **  
** **  
** **–**

_Has anything ever exploded in your mouth before?_ Gaster asked, not sounding at all threatening, but like he was actually, genuinely curious.

–

**Gaster actually had to think about that for longer than was probably normal. “N-… No? I wanna say no.”** **  
** **  
** **–**

Gaster nodded. (He didn’t have to think long for his own answer, and for entirely the wrong reasons. ) _I’m sure you can imagine, though. It’s like that. I think it’s the sugar._

He swirled the tea around again and took another drink.

_Yeah. It’s the sugar._

–  
  
 **“Are we talking good explosions or bad explosions?”** **  
** **  
** **Apparently there was a difference.** **  
** **  
** **–**

 _Blaster explosions_ , Gaster told him. Because he would know.

–

**That was apparently good. He nodded in approval. “Nice.”** **  
** **  
** **–**

Gaster shook his head, rolled his eyes, and finished up breakfast. Maybe it was because he was more physically stable than before, but he did feel a bit better now that he’d eaten.

–  
  
 **After Papyrus finished cleaning the both pulled on their lab coats, gave their old man a hug, and were off up to the mountain to keep on fixing the lab and the machine.** **  
** **  
** **Gaster looked down into his coffee and gave a little laugh. “Let’s see… I guess I’ve told you about where I lived already, right? Before the war?”** **  
** **  
** **–**

Gaster nodded, _Yeah, you did. The village with a lot of monsters and humans who had trouble communicating?_

–[[SPOILERS[ FOR How To Build A Barrier ](https://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=http%3A%2F%2Farchiveofourown.org%2Fworks%2F9677801%2Fchapters%2F21857204&t=ZGU2N2JiMDZhNjI0NzdjNmI1ZDZlYjQzYTI0MGI1ZDFiNmJhNTkxNCxUbU4zdWpESg%3D%3D&p=&m=0)FROM HERE DOWN. Search  #  to skip]] 

**He nodded back, “Yeah. Some couldn’t speak, some couldn’t hear. We all got along well until war was declared. Those who even had the slightest problem with monsters used that as an excuse to attack us. Everything was really tense for awhile until I got drafted.”** **  
** **  
** **“I went off to war. Ma and pop fled. They were too old for it.”** **  
** **  
** **–**

A monster draft… Gaster wasn’t sure what had happened early in the war in his own world, but… a draft.

He nodded, listening. He wasn’t sure what exactly was coming next, but he was determined to try and hear it out.

–

**It was… a very long story that would probably take the entire day. Gaster was old. He didn’t act old, but he was definitely old.** **  
** **  
** **He told his twin about travelling with the other younger able monsters from his village. They were supposed to meet up at a settlement to formally enlist. They were ambushed at one point and split up. That was the last he saw of a lot of his friends from back home. He didn’t know if any survived to even make it to the settlement.** **  
** **  
** **Gaster told him about killing his first human. He had been sleeping when one found him and the two fought. Both were young. Both were just doing what they thought was right. Humans were scared of monsters and monsters were terrified of humans.** **  
** **  
** **He talked about knocking the humans weapon from his hands casually. He talked about being nearly pulled to pieces by his hands as they grappled like it was nothing.** **  
** **  
** **He talked about grabbing a rock and smashing the human’s skull in in panic to try and survive.** **  
** **  
** **Then he paused and took a drink.** **  
** **  
** **–**

Gaster listened, quietly, and fidgeted with the holes in his hands.

He wasn’t sure if he was supposed to speak. He definitely didn’t want to comment.

So he just waited, quietly watching his double drink, and watched to see for a hint of what he should do.

If a touch of comfort would be appreciated right then.

–

**Gaster didn’t seem to need any sort of comfort. This was all ancient history to him. He had come to terms with a lot of the things he had done. Like his Papyrus had told the little Papyrus all those years ago, just because you had to do bad things didn’t mean you couldn’t also still be a good person in the end.** **  
** **  
** **He had done many bad things. He hadn’t always been so** **cuddly** **.** **  
** **  
** **That being said, the real part of the war, when it finally began… he did still get flashbacks.** **  
** **  
** **Gaster told his double about making it to the settlement and being shoved with the other skeletons. They were all great mages and fought towards the back lines. He talked about meeting Grillby now and then, how they always somehow seemed to run into one another somehow despite the fire elemental being closer to the front lines.** **  
** **  
** **In this timeline Grillby didn’t know who he was.** **  
** **  
** **He told his double how he first saw cannons.** **  
** **  
** **It was a whistle and then an earth-shattering boom. It blew half of his party of mages to dust in an instant. He and a few others had only been missed by chance.** **  
** **  
** **–**

While his twin spoke, Gaster was remembering something–still paying attention, but with it in his mind. The talk from the earthquake site, years ago, when his twin had asked about flashbacks. How he dealt with them. Talking if they’d ever go away.

Not with time, his double had said, then.

He wondered, quietly, if it had been the Gaster Blasters that took away the terror of cannon.

–

**Maybe they had in an odd sort of way. Make a bigger cannon to be summoned in an instant without need of ammo. It kept you safe.** **  
** **  
** **After the mages had been more or less decimated he was pulled to escort the Seer with Grillby. The skeleton and fire bonded over the journey, even if listening to the Seer was the most frustrating few weeks of his life.** **  
** **  
** **They had taken her to the king to see if their proposal of marrying his daughter to the prince of a neighbouring kingdom would help their odds.** **  
** **  
** **In the end it didn’t, as the story goes. But at the time it seemed like it would. The Seer was vague as always.** **  
** **  
** **Grillby and Gaster were split up again, one on the front lines and one in the back. It was war as war was. Fighting. Explosions. Blood and dust. Panic.** **  
** **  
** **He recalled being split off at one point and ending behind the enemy.** **  
** **  
** **Gaster stole their prototype guns and a sketched out what he saw of their cannons. On his downtime he experimented with runes and how to meld science and magic together.** **  
** **  
** **It got him noticed. The old, dying King liked what he saw.** **  
** **  
** **That was when he was appointed royal scientist. It wasn’t because of the CORE or anything so calm or helpful.** **  
** **  
** **It was for his death machines.** **  
** **  
** **–**

_Wow_ , Gaster wanted to say. To laugh and tell him he’d come full circle.

He didn’t.

It was a long story.

He’d settled in to listen.

He wasn’t interrupting now.

Even if he wanted to break the tension with a joke. Offer a high five. Tell him he’d started out with death machines, and ended up creating life.

That might get them completely off track. It definitely would get them completely off track, because his double would probably point out Sans was meant to be a weapons, and he’d have to counter with Papyrus, and–

And no matter what his double said, if this story was being told, then it meant something to him. And if it meant enough that he hadn’t told anyone else, that meant it probably needed to be gotten out, somehow, somewhere.

He wasn’t breaking that.

–

**Gaster only took a small break to get himself more coffee, but even then he continued talking as he moved around the room.** **  
** **  
** **This was where things became… vague.** **  
** **  
** **“The King wasn’t a very nice monster. Maybe that’s why the war started. I built guns at first, which was fine. That’s what I had started out with. Being the royal scientist meant I got access to all the books I wanted too. I snuck a lot out I shouldn’t have. I learned a lot.”** **  
** **  
** **“But… he had me do some things I was not in agreement with. At first. You stop caring after awhile. You get numb to it.”** **  
** **  
** **“I hurt a lot of humans very close and personal. He… wanted to know…” Gaster’s voice dropped. He didn’t sound sad or regretful, but rather devoid of anything.** **  
** **  
** **“… what made them tick.”** **  
** **  
** **Then, his voice was back to normal. “Got me some use out of that medical license I almost got, I guess.” He joked, “It didn’t get very far.”** **  
** **  
** **He cleared his throat and sat down, taking a drink.** **  
** **  
** **“The king didn’t live much longer after that. Asgore came to power and married Toriel. They were horrible rulers. Forced into a war they didn’t want and had no control over.”** **  
** **  
** **–**

He got the message.

They lost soon after.

He nodded slowly, looking down at his hands, and still at a loss.

His twin had wanted to be a doctor. He remembered being told that. They’d wanted to be a doctor.

He shook his head slowly, and wondered what might have been different.

–

**They were sealed underground after a few very horrible decisions from the new King and Queen left them nearly wiped out completely. They took the deal to be sealed away rather than exterminated.** **  
** **  
** **He built the core. He built containers to house human souls. He built the DT extractor. He made Sans.** **  
** **  
** **This was where he started to look regretful. He looked ashamed.** **  
** **  
** **Gaster told his double how he sealed the poor boy away with him for the first eight years of his life, just the two of them. No one could know he even existed. He tried to stay detached but… he couldn’t. They bonded. He loved him.** **  
** **  
** **He nearly killed him with a DT overdose, something he had told his double before.** **  
** **  
** **He swore off the experiments completely after that. To make it up to him, he made Papyrus.** **  
** **  
** **They turned into a weird, dysfunctional family.** **  
** **  
** **Papyrus’ first day of school. The first day Sans called him dad. Working in the lab with his eldest son. It had all been… wonderful.** **  
** **  
** **Then the explosion. His sons were flung into this timeline as homeless children while he was trapped in the void. He could only watch as they struggled to grow up for a second time without him.** **  
** **  
** **–**

He didn’t care anymore.

He reached out and took his double’s hand.

And stayed silent.

–

**He let his double take his hand but didn’t hold back. Recalling all this was tiring. His life was too fucking long and he wasn’t even done yet. Gaster groaned and rolled his neck before… continuing on even further.** **  
** **  
** **He talked about manipulating the void and finding Chara. How it posessed the human and killed over and over again, how he fought it just to slow it down so it wouldn’t affect the timeline his boys had been flung into.** **  
** **  
** **How time meant nothing and he wasn’t sure how old he even was anymore.** **  
** **  
** **Sans had tried really hard to rebuild the machine but he had to keep himself from starving to death and Papyrus fed all by himself.** **  
** **  
** **Then there was the flower. Alphys had tried to make a vessel to house souls since monsters couldn’t and accidently injected a golden flower covered in Asriel’s dust with DT. How it had given him sentience.** **  
** **  
** **How he became a resetting mass murderer.** **  
** **  
** **He had seen his sons die a lot in alternate timelines he hadn’t been quick enough to save. Sans and Papyrus were killed by the flower a number of times before he learned to avoid it.** **  
** **  
** **But he gave up on the machine. He gave up on everything. And Papyrus didn’t even know why or what he had given up on in the first place.** **  
** **  
** **–**

He knew a bit of what came next. But not the details. Not the story.

He kept his grip on his twin’s hand, just in case.

He didn’t want him to fall back into that monotone.

(Remember he survived.)

–[[END OF SPOILERS. # ]]

**Gaster paused then, taking a moment to catch his thoughts. Then continued on even further.** **  
** **  
** **Chara eventually found their timeline. In desperation he infected Sans just like Chara infected Frisk. They fought and nearly killed them… but they slipped away.** **  
** **  
** **Frisk would go on to reset and get everyone free.** **  
** **  
** **During the reset he was flung out of his son’s body after their brief reunion to go crashing back into the void.** **  
** **  
** **“Then… the next thing I knew I was sitting on a table, staring at my two brilliant kids as a pile of slime.” He finally said, sighing deeply.** **  
** **  
** **What a trip.** **  
** **  
** **He rubbed his face. “Made the machine to find Chara shortly after. Been chasing them since.”** **  
** **  
** **Gaster looked exhausted even though he wasn’t. Eventually a smile twitched at the corners of his mouth and he looked at his double. “After while I found an idiot double who did idiot things just like me.”** **  
** **  
** **–**

He snorted.

_And you’ve been dogging me ever since, huh?_

–

**“Sure have.” Gaster grinned.**

**–**

Gaster snorted and gave him a shove. _You went through a lot of trouble to meet me, you dumbass._

–

**His grin only broadened. “What can I say? I love myself.”** **  
** **  
** **He took another drink of coffee. It was already late afternoon by the time he had finished his life story.** **  
** **  
** **–**

Gaster supposed not having any tastebuds meant his double wasn’t bothered at all by his coffee having long gone cold. He looked out at the late afternoon sun out the window and.. Didn’t think he’d ever really get used to that.

 _I don’t think I really have anything much to share back about my life story,_ he said, discounting being void for a while, _I haven’t really been around that long. Thanks for telling me, though. Next time, just ask if you want to hang out or something, though._

–

**“That’s alright. Having a long, eventful life is… overrated.” He said, turning to look out the window along with his twin. He never got tired of seeing the sky. “The calm parts were always the best. Hopefully we’re entering another calm now that everything is over.”** **  
** **  
** **“Hopefully over.” He said after a moment of thought. “No more bumps in the road would be ideal.”** **  
** **  
** **His gaze shifted back to his double, squinted eye partially open to look at him. “Did you ever manage to finish that interdimensional radio I gave you?”** **  
** **  
** **–**

Gaster nodded. “For the most part, yeah. It should’ve been able to send out a distress signal if anything was noticed. I… didn’t want to use it and send you all into a panic to come back, so I never did.”

He’d thought about it occasionally, though.

–

**Gaster chuckled, “Yeah I would have definitely come running in a panic.”** **  
** **  
** **He looked down into his coffee long gone cold, but didn’t seem to notice. He finished the last of it and stood up with a relieved sigh. It was just nice to finally relax and be calm for a little while.** **  
** **  
** **Everything about this was nice.** **  
** **  
** **“Maybe I’ll add another setting to it. Just for an indication that a less stress-filled visit would be nice. We’ll pop over for Gyftmas.” He couldn’t help but laugh at the thought. They were like trans-dimensional family friends.** **  
** **  
** **Gaster realized he had never had something like that. Ever. He had Grillby at one point but their relationship wasn’t the same. It had been founded over the need to get together and forget. This was more or less the opposite.** **  
** **  
** **A lingering thought of how badly a timeline could end up creeped into his mind while they were sat here recovering and he pushed it down. No need to worry about that. He couldn’t change that now if he tried. He couldn’t rush fixing the machine and risk getting them all killed. His double needed time to rest.** **  
** **  
** **“How ya feeling?” He eventually said, looking down at his more frumpy ‘dressed’ double.** **  
** **  
** **–**

“But that means I’ll have to buy two sets of Gyftmas presents,” he said, but nodded along to the suggestion, anyway.

He looked over again at the other question. “All right. Still tired and achey, but, I’m assuming that will pass eventually or I’ll get used to it. Nothing inhibiting.”

It was definitely much better than he’d been expecting to feel just a day after pulling a chunk out of his soul.

…He wondered what it would look like, now. If he’d have the same gap in it his twin’d had after taking a piece out for Sans and Papyrus. Or if whatever he was now didn’t function in that same way.

…he didn’t want to look just yet.

–

**Gaster stayed standing beside his twin. He liked standing. He liked having legs.** **  
** **  
** **“It never gave me any trouble after the initial pain and ache.” He said, trying to nullify anything he figured his counterpart was probably thinking. Hopefully their souls were similar enough to act the same way after the same ordeal.** **  
** **  
** **“Funnily a hole is easier to ignore than a crack. I guess maybe it just naturally fills in with whatever might be missing. Not physically, but… emotionally?” The doctor shrugged, “Cracks feel like a crack inside you. Like you want to break apart. Like relaxing too much will get you dusted, even if that isn’t true.”** **  
** **  
** **He paused and looked down at the other. “But I’m pulling most of this out of my ass.” He smirked, “Souls were your thing, apparently.”** **  
** **  
** **–**

Gaster listened, nodding along. He tried not to make a face at the description of the pain a crack produced. He was still more used to the image of his double’s soul riddled with cracks, and didn’t want to think what that meant about the pain. Or what it must have felt to have his soul almost fully shattered and only held together by thin strips of void.

“Yeah, I spent a lot of my life trying to figure out what I was,” he said, “Between the things said about human souls and what was said about Monster souls, I didn’t really know what to believe, so I decided to try and figure it out myself.”

He snorted. “That was a fun time, convincing people to let me study the human souls and any monsters to trust me with their souls, let me tell you. It was definitely worth it, though.”

–

**“Guess I finally get to read your notes rather than the other way around.” Gaster grinned, looking excited at the fact. It was funny how their interests varied so much. He had been obsessed with breaking the barrier; weapons and time and space. His twin was more interested in souls.** **  
** **  
** **It was, possibly, a more noble venture. As far as Gaster knew it had only gotten his doppelganger ‘killed’ rather than perhaps an entire timeline.** **  
** **  
** **Whoops.** **  
** **  
** **“Did you manage to figure out ‘what’ you were? I hope it’s something new. Gotta really hammer that freak status home.” He smirked.** **  
** **  
** **–**

Gaster grinned back. “I’ll try to rewrite those for you, then.”

They’d all vanished along with his memory back in his own world, but, hey. Might as well do some revision. Maybe he could publish that fucking paper finally.

“I think I don’t need to try much harder for freak status,” he added, looking down at his torso before gesturing to all of himself. “But, uh. Yeah. I did. It involves more dead humans, you ready for this?”

–

**Gaster took a moment and looked a little nervous. Right. Humans. That was his thing.** **  
** **  
** **He pulled out his chair and sat back down, just in case. “Shoot.”** **  
** **  
** **–**

“I’m not really sure what I am now,” he said, glancing sideways at his double. He wasn’t going to look directly at him. So if his twin was uncomfortable or wanted to go, he wouldn’t have to feel the need to hide that. “But… previously, I was… I wasn’t actually kidding about the ‘dead human,’ thing.”  
  
“Between studying souls and the journal entries I found of an old skeleton, I… it looks like in my world, skeletons are made with very specific processes. When human souls shatter after death, they literally shatter, rather than just cracking. So to create a skeleton, you need several specific requirements: a human with a very high level of determination who didn’t want to die, a heavily concentrated area of magic, and time for the body to decompose.”

“Remember what I said about how souls could repair themselves over time by creating themselves?”

–

**Gaster felt himself involuntarily shudder. He hated that he did it and he didn’t want to, not when it was directly related to someone he cared a lot about, but… ugh.** **Ugh** **.** **  
** **  
** **Still. He kept a straight face.** **  
** **  
** **“Right.” He nodded, leaning back a little and letting himself take a deep breath. Try not to think about having a dead human inside you. It made you feel better than you have in a very long time. Just fucking accept it.** **  
** **  
** **–**

…he gave his double a moment. It was one thing to tease about having a dead human inside him and another to actually… make him linger on it.

“…if a large enough shard of the soul stays with the corpse after shattering, and the body is in a place of high magical concentration and left alone… the same determination that lets your–-Frisk. That let Frisk return to life helps revive the skeleton once enough time has passed. It won’t fuck with a timeline, it doesn’t affect anything outside the body. It’s just enough to get it kickstarted and working, with the ambient magic in the atmosphere as a catalyst.”

He paused again, taking  a deep breath. “…that’s why there are no more skeletons. When humans banished monsters, they… it looks like monsters are the sources of magic for the most part. Humans lost the ability to use magic. No more ambient magic in their atmosphere. Monsters don’t have bodies after death. Nothing to reanimate. No more skeletons, unless… there’s a freak coincidence, and you drown a kid in the river that leads to the dump not long after the entryway finally caved.”

He gave a dead little laugh.

“…I don’t think I’m really human. Don’t worry. I just don’t know if I’m fully monster, either.”

–

**Gaster listened to the explanation well enough. It was… a little uncomfortable, but he saved face for his double’s sake. Had this been anyone else he would have noped the fuck out long ago.** **  
** **  
** **“That’s consistent. Our humans lost magical ability after they sealed us too, but… jesus, man.” He finally looked over at his twin. “Drowning a kid? That’s fucked up. And this is coming from someone who’s stabbed kids.”** **  
** **  
** **He returned that same dead laugh. What the fuck even was this.** **  
** **  
** **–**

He smiled and lifted both hands to wave them. “The things you learn in the void about your past life, right?”

He hadn’t been kidding when he said some of the things he learned were mostly just important to himself.

–

**“Jeeze.” Gaster inhaled again before reaching over to pat his twin’s shoulder and squeeze. “Rough. We’re both so fucked up.”** **  
** **  
** **He started laughing.** **  
** **  
** **–**

He laughed too.

“We are never telling the kids about any of this.”

–

**“Hell no.” Gaster laughed, his hand going back to the table. He sighed, but was still smiling.** **  
** **  
** **“So. Is there anything you want to see before night falls on the surface? I know it isn’t** **your** **surface, but you might as well see some stuff while you’re recovering.”** **  
** **  
** **–**

Gaster nodded. “Yeah. Who knows when I’ll get to see your weird fucking world again?”

He wasn’t about to miss any chance to see the surface, especially in a world that was different than his own. Who would miss that chance?

“Anywhere in mind?”

–

**“Well, I’m not a very good person to be escorting anyone around humans, but I can at least go to the store and the park without having panic attacks.” He laughed in spite of himself.** **  
** **  
** **Gaster stood and held down a hand to help his double up. “Then tonight we can break out the telescope. I’m sure you’ve seen the stars already, but… it’s still nice. I think.”** **  
** **  
** **–**

Gaster grinned. “Sounds good. Yeah. Definitely.”

He got up with his twin’s help, definitely willing to see the stars at any point. Sure, he’d done it sort of, but… it would be different to see them with his own eyes.

–

**“You going to be alright walking a few blocks? If not I can test out my teleporting again.” Gaster asked as he headed towards the door, being sure to stay close to his twin just in case he needed support.** **  
** **  
** **–**

Gaster nodded. “I can make it. I’m just… kind of getting my balance back, I think. I’ll let you know if there’s trouble.”

He would’ve kept his mouth shut if it were anyone else, but his twin would probably call him a hypocrite if he tried to hide an issue like not being able to get around well. Still. He’d rather avoid teleportation, from what he remembered of it.

–

**Gaster nodded and lead his double outside, locking the door behind him. It was a nice, warm spring afternoon. The row of townhouses ran alongside the base of Mt. Ebott. There were a few monsters outside playing, some children on spring break from school or being homeschooled. Not all monsters were too keen on integrating their children with humans just yet, despite it having been years since their release.** **  
** **  
** **He began to lead him down the sidewalk.** **  
** **  
** **It was a very peaceful little neighbourhood. Some monsters had started tiny front gardens, golden flowers were a big favorite by the looks of things. There were bees. Bugs. Birds. Occasionally a monster would walk by with a pet on a leash.** **  
** **  
** **It was all incredibly… normal.** **  
** **  
** **–**

He looked around slowly, feeling very out of place and also very… just. Glad.

He had been outside on this surface before, between helping Sans get to Toriel’s and looking out the window of the car, but this was the first time he was actually able to pause and get a good look around without having something else on his mind, like his twin’s imminent death, or how to take care of the kids, or whether he’d die in the extraction.

He’d always imagined the surface. Always tried to not imagine the surface. Always failed, and once asked his twin questions about it that had haunted him for months.

All that, and he was finally looking around, and… it wasn’t normal at all.

And that wasn’t a bad thing.

“Nice world your kids found,” he said, grinning.

–

**“Yeah.” Gaster said, smiling. “I’m glad they ended up in this one.”**

**They walked along a few blocks and things were pretty uneventful. They passed a house covered from every angle with flowers and shrubs of all variation, a large boss monster tending to them wearing gloves and a straw hat with holes poked in it for his horns. He gave a confused look at the two of them but smiled and waved nonetheless.** **  
** **  
** **Gaster gave a lazy wave back.** **  
** **  
** **He didn’t hate Asgore, but they didn’t talk much. This Asgore didn’t know who he was other than Sans and Papyrus’ dad.** **  
** **  
** **–**

Over his time as the royal scientist, Gaster had gotten a lot better keeping calm around Asgore, but he still averted his gaze a bit and mostly just gave the boss monster a polite smile.

…he wondered if his twin would ever take advantage of no one really knowing who he was aside from Sans and Papyrus’ dad. Not for anything necessarily bad, but just… as a chance to rebuild something new, like his kids had done.

…he wondered if anyone noticed how different his twin looked with his soul’s new addition. Or maybe he was just really tuned in to the differences himself, and it wasn’t as dramatic a change as he felt like it was.

–

**Gaster had thought about that in particular with Asgore. They had both suffered the loss of their kids at one point. They were both fathers. It could be something to talk about, but… he was awkward. He didn’t know how to start a conversation. He just kept his distance, despite how many times Papyrus encouraged him to go over and ‘just talk’.** **  
** **  
** **He wasn’t very good at ‘just talking’.** **  
** **  
** **As they rounded the corner they came across another old monster; a wrinkly old turtle carrying a bag and probably making his way to Asgore’s house.** **  
** **  
** **Gaster frowned but tried to ignore him.** **  
** **  
** **Gerson gave them both a very strange look.** **  
** **  
** **–**

Welp, nope, there went his practiced calm.

He gripped his double’s arm and ducked a bit closer behind him, keeping as far from Gerson and his line of sight as possible.

Gerson had spared him before, and he tried to tell himself that this wasn’t even a Gerson who knew who he was, but–

He’d been in a position to be spared. And he never wanted to be there ever again.

–

**Gaster glanced down at his double and found one of his hands with the arm he was clinging to, taking it and leading him straight passed Gerson. The turtle stopped and watched them go.** **  
** **  
** **“Am I seeing double or have the geeks multiplied?” He laughed.** **  
** **  
** **“Fuck off Gerson.” The doctor said loudly, but didn’t turn around to face him.** **  
** **  
** **–**

His grip tightened and he kept his head down.

Let his double handle this. It would probably be fine. It was his world.

(oh fuck don’t provoke Gerson you idiot)

–  
  
 **The turtle only made an annoyed grumble before shuffling on his way. It wasn’t until they were outside of earshot that Gaster looked down at his double and said, “I don’t think we get along in any timeline.”** **  
** **  
** **–**

He snorted. Even just a small laugh helped dissolve the lingering fear, now that they were farther away.

“I don’t fucking understand what decides what things stay the same and what things don’t. This is fucking ridiculous.”

He finally managed to loosen his grip some. Haha, wow, that was… that was a pretty intense, dumb reaction, huh.

–  
  
 **Gaster was still holding his twin’s hand, but it was relaxed enough for him to let go if he was feeling comfortable again. “I have no fucking idea. Gerson, the CORE, us being idiots, Sans ‘n Pap being linked to us somehow…”** **  
** **  
** **He let his thoughts trail away.** **  
** **  
** **–**

“….at least that list isn’t. Entirely bad things.”

He didn’t let go just yet. But he would. Soon enough. Still. Fuck.

–

**Gaster chuckled at that, “Yeah. Just few and far between. But they’re there.”** **  
** **  
** **The further they walked the busier things seemed to become. Humans started to meld in with the monsters and the houses parted for small businesses. They got a plenty of strange looks; they were a pair of similar-looking monsters holding hands. It was weird even on a good day.** **  
** **  
** **Each time a human walked a little too close the doctor’s magic would twitch… just a little. It was barely noticeable and he didn’t outwardly react, but it was definitely there.** **  
** **  
** **Still. He managed to stay calm.** **  
** **  
** **–**

Gaster really needed to introduce these humans to Temmies and moldsmols if they thought he and his twin were odd. Still. He shifted his grip on his twin’s hand so it was less holding and more his hand covered his twins’.

He… he wasn’t used to humans, not at all, but he wasn’t traumatized by them like his twin was. He’d been helped along with Gerson. Now maybe he could help along with the humans.

He sparked his magic, just enough to give his twin a bit more of a squeeze than his hand could’ve done alone.

They were doing just fine.


End file.
